IDENTITY CRISIS
i. VENGEANCE & MERCY
DON'T LIVE SIDE BY SIDE
❝WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN
TO GOOD PEOPLE?❞
THE LIFE SHE LIVED WASN'T ONE SHE WOULD HAVE CHOSEN FOR HERSELF ━━ a life of carnage, death, and loneliness was all she knew. Erina Sato was left with glimpses of the life she used to lead. She was met with blurred faces and tainted memories when she tried to remember her past. Though, it was not as if it truly mattered anymore. After the mess her life had turned into, there was no doubt her remaining blood would want anything to do with her. No one wanted to sit next to a murderer at dinner and that was only a fraction of the crimes she had committed over the years. Still, she worked endlessly to protect the phantoms of her life.
It was a cold night in Gotham City. Her cheeks had turned a shade of red and the tips of her fingers had begun to numb underneath her gloves. She had lost feeling in her toes about thirty minutes ago, but she had not moved from her spot on the rooftop of an unfinished apartment building. Erina took a steady breath, aiming the rifle at her target in the distance. A tiny speck on her radar, but she knew it was him. Four men dressed in black surrounded him, bodyguards meant to protect him. After exactly eight months, Leopold Arnoult had come out of hiding to attend his brother's engagement party. It was a mistake that secured his spot six feet underground. He had angered the wrong people and they, unfortunately, held a grudge.
"Do you see the target?"
The deep voice echoed in her left ear through the small device that had been implanted into her skin when she was much younger. She held her breath, keeping her aim steady as she watched the target in the hairlines of her rifle. The rifle had been a gift from her employer, Carmine Falcone. After all, he was her "boss" for all intents and purposes. Though, he never had any qualms about passing her around to his friends if they had a job. But, she rarely dealt with the men in charge and was forced to keep communication through their lackeys. Even the voice on the other side, he was a pawn in Falcone's game.
"Repeat, do you see the target?"
"Yes."
"Take the shot, Sato."
Erina pulled the trigger, hearing the silent click of the weapon as the bullet went flying through the air. She felt the recoil against her shoulder, but it was an ache she was familiar with. The sound of screams in the distance was enough for her as she dismantled the rifle within moments. Erina placed the parts within their respective slots in her briefcase, preparing to leave but something in the sky caught her eye. For a moment that seemed to last forever, she felt her breath hitch as her eyes darted to the shadows.
She waited.
It felt as if she had eyes on her, causing her to slowly stand. Her eyes never left the shadows. The dread began to burn within her chest, waiting for something to step into the light. Something or someone waiting to bring her to justice, knowing it was what she deserved.
But, there was no one there.
Erina headed back inside, keeping her head low to avoid any hidden cameras she may not have spotted during her scope of the building. Despite most of the building still being under construction, slumlords had no problem renting out to people desperately needing a home. Erina could hear the voices of families on the other side of the thin walls, but she tried her best to ignore them as she headed down the stairs. Her feet moved quickly, almost sprinting to make it back to her car. She unlocked the door, taking a seat inside before she tossed her briefcase in the back seat. The Bat Signal still stared down at her, making her gulp as she pushed the key into the ignition and started the car.
The sound of sirens filled the air, but it was nothing new to the citizens of Gotham. Erina tried her best to remain calm as she drove in the opposite direction, heading away from the chaos she had created.
The voice in her ear spoke again. "Good work, Sato. Till next time."
"Yes, Sir."
Her reply was quick and simple. A hiss left her lips at the loud beep of the transmission being cut, but it wasn't as if the connection was ever truly cut. The device gave them access to many things, allowing them to track her all over Gotham and be able to listen to every conversation Erina ever had. Though, she doubted they had someone sitting around to listen to her daily activities. But, she still remembered what had happened the last time she had tried to escape. It must have been when she was around fourteen years old, but the scars were enough to make her never try again. But, the worst part was knowing they held the string to her life and had the ability to cut it at any moment. It was what they had told her. One step out of line and they would press the button. Erina wasn't sure how true their claim was, but she didn't want to test them.
A sigh left Erina's lips. Her hand went over the bump behind her ear, feeling the sting when she pressed down against it. The jobs were coming more often than not and Erina knew it wouldn't be long till she was on Batman's radar. But, she still reminded herself that Gotham was a big city and that crime happened in every dark alley. Yes, but not everyone is committing murder. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths to focus herself. It did not take long for Erina to find herself on familiar streets. She parked, turning off the car as she sat back.
On the passenger seat, she could see an envelope with her name on it. She had noticed it when she had gotten into her car, but her priority had been to escape the crime scene before anyone could show up. Opening it up, she noticed the several hundred dollar bills and a note inside.
For your good work.
It was what the note said, making Erina feel sick to her stomach. It was never a grandiose amount she was paid, considering she was still trying to pay off the debt her father had accumulated when he was still alive. She ripped up the note, throwing the scraps of paper in the back. Erina counted the bills ━━ two thousand dollars. It was barely enough to cover rent. She let out a heavy breath, tucking it back into the envelope. With a marker she kept in her glove box, she blacked out her name on the paper.
Erina exited the car, keeping the envelope close to protect it from the rain. It had started out of nowhere, but rain was to be expected in Gotham. She locked the car, ignoring the looks she received from a few men huddled near a fire. This was the part of Gotham that the officials liked to pretend didn't exist, but that didn't change the fact most lived in poverty. She punched in the code to unlock the door of the apartment building, keeping her head low to avoid the one camera in the lobby. The security guard, as always, was asleep with a rerun of a basketball game playing. Go Gotham Guardsmen! Erina had never been a fan of sports.
Apartment B4 was her destination, located on the third floor of the complex since the first floor was the lobby. She stood in front of the door, staring down at the Welcome mat with red flowers embroidered into it. The sound of laughter echoed into the hall, causing Erina's heart to grow heavy as she placed the envelope on the mat. She gave the door a quick few knocks before she walked off, hiding behind the corner to make sure she wouldn't be seen.
She watched the door crack open before an older woman poked her head out. Her hair was still as dark as midnight and a spare few wrinkles lined the creases of her face ━━ old age had not come to visit yet. She stepped out, looking around. "Hello?"
Hey, Mama.
"Ruqa, who is it?" A voice sounded from inside the apartment, but Erina knew who it was. Her mother's new husband, Mark, was someone she had married about fifteen years ago. It was about five years after Erina and her father, Masashi, had died when she had met Mark and remarried.
"No one, my love," her mother replied, reaching down to pick up the envelope. Her hands trembled as she opened it to look at the money inside, but Erina didn't miss the way she brushed her thumb over the blacked-out spot where her name had been.
Erina could only hope it would be enough to cover rent and perhaps, buy something nice for the girls. Prices were rising in Gotham, despite living conditions worsening by the day. She took in a shaky breath, leaning against the wall for support. It had been almost twenty years since she had last spoken to her mother, but she came by every month to drop off some money to make sure they would have enough to get by.
"If you're still out there," Ruqa began, causing Erina to hold her breath. "Thank you."
It was all she said before she headed back inside. Erina blinked, taking a deep breath to steady herself before she headed out. Though, curiosity always got the better of her as she headed toward the building opposite of the apartments. She effortlessly climbed the scaffolding of the building, heading to the third floor. It had been under construction for the past five years and Erina was sure it would never be built. She took a seat, ignoring the rain that had begun to drench her clothing. Despite the distance, Erina was able to see through the windows that led into the apartment.
With her new husband, her mother had brought two children into the world. But, before, when she had been part of the family, there had been her two parents, Ruqa and Masashi, herself, and her two younger siblings, Ella and Eric. Erina had been the eldest, currently being twenty-eight. Ella was two years younger, while Eric was four years younger. They had moved out a few years back. Ella lived in Metropolis, married with two kids. Eric stayed in Gotham, working at Wayne Enterprises as an I.T. tech. Though, he could always be found at the local bar on the weekends. Erina had seen pictures they posted online. It was all she knew of them, watching their lives through photographs. They had moved on. Her mother, however, had never truly moved on as she still searched for signs that her late husband and daughter may still be alive.
Still, she had found happiness in a decent man named Mark. Their two children were ten and fourteen, Marci and Melanie ━━ named after Mark's mother and grandmother. Erina supposed the two girls were her sisters, but it felt strange to call them that when she had never officially met them.
Erina smiled sadly, watching her mother affectionately kiss Marci's forehead before ruffling her hair. They were baking something in the oven and she could see the flour that was scattered over the counters and all over the floor. It flashed her to a memory of her childhood, but it quickly faded from sight. In the living room, she could see Mark and Melanie. He was helping her with homework while a children's movie played in the background. Though, it seemed Melanie's attention fell more to the movie than her homework. She watched them for another twenty minutes, finding solace in the simplicity of their lives. It was when she was shivering as it poured around her when she decided to leave.
She felt safe one she was in her apartment, but her eyes still peeked out the window now and then to see if the Bat Signal was still there. Stories of the Dark Knight had spread like wildfire since the vigilante had appeared about two years ago. Erina had never come across him... yet. Still, the stories of Batman's justice were enough to strike fear in the hearts of criminals when the signal appeared in the skies. Perhaps, it was a good thing. It was a warning to all criminals. Fear worked in mysterious ways, but Erina didn't have the luxury of walking away. Fortunately, the Bat Signal was gone.
Her shoes were left on the metal rack by the door, not wanting to track mud into the apartment. Her wet coat was thrown haphazardly on the couch and Erina tried her best to ignore the half-eaten pizza and the dozens of beer cans scattered around the coffee table. It wasn't hers and she didn't want to think of who was in her apartment while she was out. She headed toward the bedroom.
Her briefcase was pushed underneath the bed, keeping it hidden till the next time she needed to use it. She pulled off her shirt and pants, wanting to get out of the wet clothing. She tossed it near the laundry hamper, not caring if it made it in or not. She found a mismatched pair of pajamas and changed into it. Erina didn't focus on her bare skin, not wanting to revisit the permanent reminders that lingered on her skin. Instead, she stared at the digital clock that reminded her that it was close to two o'clock in the morning.
Erina fell into bed, getting underneath the blankets. It was the most comfort she felt that night, wishing she could disappear within her bed. But, sleep didn't come so easily. She stared at the ceiling, knowing she would have to get up in about four hours to prepare for her shift that began at seven a.m. sharp. She wasn't a morning person, but it was the only shift available and Erina needed the money. All the money she earned from her other employer was left on the doorsteps of her family, which was rarely enough. Her car had been bought from a neighbor for about eight hundred dollars. It wasn't the best, but it ran so that was all Erina needed.
She reached over, grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills. They had been given to her by someone a while back, but she couldn't remember his name. She popped three into her mouth, gulping them down with a glass of water from a few nights' back.
After that, Erina let out a heavy breath as she closed her eyes to get even the tiniest amount of sleep. But, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched.
♡
IT TOOK A WHILE TO GET THIS CHAPTER OUT, but it was impossible for me to get it exactly how I wanted it. However, I am somewhat happy with where it is now and I decided to go ahead and post it! It had a lot of information dumping because I wanted all the background to be there, so we can understand Erina completely. But, we'll still learn more about her as the story goes on and I am so excited to explore her development! Right now, our girl is not in a good spot and definitely needs to change some things. But, we'll see where she goes!
I rewrote this chapter about four times, I think. I haven't edited this version of it, but I will do it some time in the future. I'm super excited for this book, so I want to get out as many chapters as I can before I start to burn out. I have the next chapter completely written, but it needs to be edited before I can post it. So, hopefully, it'll be out in the next month or so!
I, also, need to rewatch the Batman ASAP. Even though, this book will lead into that movie slowly, I forgot a lot of what went on and I just need to refresh my memory. So, I hope it comes out soon so I can rewatch again and again. But, again, some things will be different because I'm pulling from a few different sources of Batman stories.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I love Erina so much and I know she's not a good person, but she's my baby. I'm really excited to write her and see where her path takes her!
━━ AMARA
[ CHAPTER PUBLISHED ━━ 03.29.2022 ]