𝐘𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖
3 years have passed . . .
"Baji died..."
someone muttered under their breaths. The moonlight was the only source of light in the darkroom through the help of a small window with grills.
"Baji...." the sandy-colored eyes were lighted by the moon as the tattoo on the neck can be seen.
"I need to go see Baji for the last time." Kazutora said and thought of a way to break out of prison.
If it weren't for Takemichi during the Bloody Halloween, Baji wouldn't have survived but gladly he did.
He would write a letter to Kazutora every time since he couldn't visit him due to Baji not being a relative of Kazutora.
Baji would often write about Kazuha's condition — adopted older sister of Kazutora, to update him inside the prison so he wouldn't have to worry about it.
"Are you listening to me right now Baji?" he asked the wind while staring at the wall.
"Just a few days more, you and Kazuha would have become a couple and be able to visit me..."
As soon as Kazuha told Kazutora about Baji's death, he couldn't say a word and kept his fist tightened as his older sister keeps crying on the other side.
"You may not seem to agree with my decision but I'm going to escape just to see you" he said.
"I'll go..." he clenched his fist trying to suppress his emotions at the moment.
The wind blew harshly on her face as her (e/c) eyes stare blankly. She feels numb, no matter what she did she can never recover from what happened that day.
After fainting from exhaustion and stress, her grandmother found her lying on the ground with blood on her nose. Y/N's grandma panicked and was concerned about her health, she called help and rushed on their way to the hospital.
Soon after she woke up hearing her uncle's conversation with her grandma, he plans to transfer out of Y/N to another school and cannot bear the humiliation she made.
He feels humiliated when Y/N ranked second in the school managed by his colleague.
However, she was an outsider in school. Y/N was used to it since she's always focused on her studies and sees friendship as a hindrance. Although, there's an ounce inside of her that she longs for having a friend.
It was fine not until it triggered her emotions again last night and those intrusive thoughts of her killing herself and unworthy to live and breathe the air.
.
.
.
'Oh? You failed again?'
"I didn't fail, I just made one mistake" she mumbled to herself.
'One? Do you know how big that is?'
"I-"
'I thought you learned your lesson'
"I-I did my best" her eyes stared at her reflection in the mirror, reassuring herself that she was right.
'Your best?' her thoughts asked her and laughed. 'You're a laughingstock, Y/N'
"I really did my best" she gripped her hair in frustration.
'You did?'
"Yes..."
'You should have studied more, dumbass'
'Dumbass' she heard her uncle's voice.
'Is this all you've got?'
'You shouldn't be resting right now'
'Rank first in your class'
'Stupid'
'YOU CALL THESE GRADES?!'
She started to hit her head with her hands.
"Stupid... stupid...stupid" she repeatedly said, walking around her room.
'Y/N, wouldn't it be better if you killed yourself so your family wouldn't see you as a nuisance?' an image of her reflection in the mirror can be seen as she whispers in her left ear.
"Huh?"
'Your mom isn't here in this house since she's working hard just for you.'
Tears started to fall on her cheeks.
'Wouldn't that will help her if you were gone?'
"If I were gone, wouldn't my mom fall into despair and blame herself?" she replied.
'She'll move on after a few years, marry another guy, and live happily. Don't you want her to be happy?'
The room was silent as she thought hard about it.
'You are nothing but a nuisance in this family. No one wants you.'
Her hands reached for the scissors on her desk. She felt empty inside after hearing those words, not knowing what to do. She wanted to let it out and confess to someone what she feels and think.
No one is awake that night, everyone was sound asleep while she was struggling with her mental health.
She couldn't cry so loud so she kept quiet. Her hands dug deeper into her desk, leaving marks on her nails while securing the scissors on her palm.
'This is a perfect time, kill yourself so everyone will live a better life'
"If I kill myself...will everyone really be happy?"
'Why don't we test that out?'
Y/N gripped the scissors tightly and slowly placed them on her wrist where her veins are evident. She shuts her eyes closed while struggling to breathe because of her quiet cries.
"It hurts..." she mumbled at the thought of her mother smiling at her.
Memories flashed into her eyes, the happy moments when her mother and she laughed and had their best time. The thought of leaving her here in this world and blaming herself for not taking care of her. The hard work her mother did just so she could live a comfortable life.
Suddenly, she sees the image of her mother crying at her daughter's funeral, wearing all black and hugging the coffin as her mother wouldn't let it go.
Y/N stopped and sobbed more.
"I don't wanna die.... Dying is scary. I wanna live..." she messily wipes her tears with her palms as the scissors fell onto the ground.
A knock on the door was heard, she immediately fixes herself and went to her study table as she pretended that she was busy writing.
The door creaks as it opened. Her back was facing the door so no one can see her state right now. She tried so hard not to sniffle after crying so hard.
"Y/N?" the voice of her grandma. "I left some food in the kitchen so that you can eat while you're studying."
She didn't respond with her voice since it'll definitely be obvious that she was crying, instead, she gave her grandma a thumbs up.
"You should sleep after you finish, it's already 2 in the morning" with that, she left the room.
She looks at her tiny mirror beside her study table. Her nose was red and her eyes were tired as they wanted to sleep.
"Maybe I should sleep and finish my school works tomorrow"
'What if you don't finish it on time?'
"A little rest won't hurt"
.
.
.
"I never understood myself as to why I kept craving for my uncle's praise..." her (e/c) was empty as she caressed her reddened cheek from her uncle's slap earlier.
"You ungrateful and unworthy child!"
"Calm down, Y/N was just tired and needed to rest!" her grandma stopped her uncle from slapping her more.
"REST?! DOES LYING DOWN ALL DAY WITH THAT DAMN PHONE COUNT AS REST?!" he yelled at her.
"I was tired..." Y/N replied while staring at the floor and caressing her cheek.
"THIS IS WHY YOUR MOTHER LEFT YOU!" her eyes opened wide and her heart broke into pieces.
Her eyes were blurry yet she managed to look at her uncle. It was pathetic of her, to try to cry in front of him.
"That's right! She left you here, it wasn't her money that supported you with your studies! It was mine!" there was no hint of lie to his sentence.
"You shouldn't have said that to her!" her grandma yelled at her son.
"She's already old enough to know the truth!"
Their conversation went on but all Y/N can hear was their distant voices. She's been longing for her mother for so long yet hearing what her uncle said was heartbreaking.
She just cried last night, what more does the world want from her?
'See? I told you. You should have killed yourself'
"Enough is enough..." she muttered while the sun was setting whilst the cloud was starting to become heavy. "I just want someone to love me...to care for me...to praise me."
"I want happiness, I want to live freely. Why must I do these things for me to survive this world?"
She took a step closer to the edge of the cliff. She looked down as particles of the soil dropped from its high altitude. The waves under splashed hard onto another as if they were cheering for her to jump.
"Mom...you could have told me the truth then it wouldn't hurt me more."
Her face frowned a little.
"No one really cared what I feel"
She closed her eyes and was ready to take another step for her to fall into the sea.
'I wish to experience happiness in my next life'
©𝐬𝐲𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐮