~Mae~
"Be thankful I'm not having you Cast Out. Now, you'll be on probation for the next two weeks and I'll have to revoke your pass for scheduled meal times with your fellow workers."
My jaw clenched so tightly at her words that I could've sworn I rearranged a tooth or two from the force alone, my fingers clenching and unclenching in a similar fashion as I wondered how much it would hurt to be Cast Out for a punishable crime such as physically assaulting the Commander.
Hmm...Maybe it's not as painful as you think?
Who knows, maybe suffocation, organ failure and drowning in your own blood isn't as bad as everybody thinks it is.
I do admit that some of my thoughts may range on the scale from low to high levels of morbidity and insanity but could you really blame me for it?
At least I could make light of a terrible situation and tragedies, these people wouldn't know a joke if it came up behind them and slapped them on the ass.
"You're actually being serious right now? What, you can't just place me in solitary confinement for a day or so? That's what you've done to the other "aggravated assault" cases before."
Commander Ophelia raised her eyebrows, intrigued at the ranting and the spewing of words that were coming out of my mouth faster than I could choke them back.
"Is that what you would prefer? Solitary confinement down in the depths of the cargo bay instead of a supervisor watching your every move while you're on probation?"
I nodded almost eagerly because if I'm being honest, anything sounded better than being placed back on probation.
That was probably the worst thing that could happen to me right now, especially as I was so close to fixing the ruined equipment from the last Explorer's mission and if I presented it in time to Commander Ophelia, maybe I could get her to forget all about the fight I got into with Kyle.
Maybe I could convince her that I was worthy after all of being in her little elite exploration organization.
And it couldn't hurt to give me some more practice on working with older space equipment.
It was a bit of my specialty and most of my fellow co-workers were aware of this. I actually hadn't meant to stumble upon that sort of equipment when I first took the only available position as a low level mechanic of sorts, I was only trained to work with advanced engine thrusters, turbo boosters, cracked holographic control panel screens and whatnot.
But then, this only piece of equipment came in and at first, I thought it was just scrap metal junk, I almost actually threw it out until I realized the engraving alongside the side.
It was a part of one of NASA's old missile rockets before they blew up with the compressed impact from the various war bombings.
And that's when I decided to keep it and tinker with it, just to see if I could get it working once again and with an odd stroke of luck, the piece of equipment that I once saw as junk was helping alongside the engine regulators to keep the Celestial from overheating with the combined energy it produced on a mass quantity.
That's when I realized I had found my outlet, my niche in life.
If only I could get the Commander to see it that way, maybe she'd understand why I wanted the channel of becoming an Explorer.
But as Fate would have it, Commander Ophelia only sighed heavily, as if she was disappointed that I would even suggest solitary confinement over probation.
"Sorry but that is not how we handle these matters. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a board meeting to attend."
Commander Ophelia then shooed me out of her office like I was a pestering child that would stop at nothing until I got my way.
Though to be completely honest, that's a little bit on how I felt towards becoming an Explorer.
And I wasn't going to stop until I could prove to her, to the workers of the Celestial, Hell, to the whole goddamn galaxy that I was worthy of such an elite title status.
But I did have to stop for now since those two same meatheads for guards were awaiting me just outside the office door like a pair of braindead mules with one task, to transport me back to my quarters for the rest of the evening until the morning came along and I would be supervised by an asshole who thought they knew more about my work then I did.
Grumbling under my breath with annoyance at the situation I had once again found myself in, I kept silent for the most part as the guards led me back to my quarters, their meaty paws for hands gripping hard onto my biceps as they half dragged me down the twisting and turning hallways.
And if I wasn't still pissed off at Ophelia, I probably would've put up more of a fight just to razz those two jockstraps for brains but instead, I was simply hauled off and disposed of in my quarters so quickly that my head almost spun from the quick change of perspective.
Or at least it would have if somebody who I knew didn't want to see me wasn't already waiting for me inside the four small walls that consisted of my bedchambers, the size of it was better equated to that of the cleansing units because at least those gave enough room for the workers to move around comfortably.
The bedchambers were little more than a hallway closet but I couldn't be picky right now, the Celestial only had so much room for it's workers and the population was steadily growing every year, who knows when the time would come for Commander Ophelia to relocate some of us to another station further away.
But relocation to another station was the furthest thing on my mind at the moment because who was occupying my bedchambers whilst I had been away was none other then my peeved younger sibling, Collette, her tiny, bony arms crossed over her chest as she froze mid-pacing up and down the length of the quarters to narrow her eyes with suspicion at me.
"Where in all of the galaxies have you been?! I get a voice message from Indigo saying that you were sent to the Commander's office and then there's people saying that you were going to be detained? What the hell did you do, Mabel?"
Collette said accusingly and I sighed as I rubbed my temples at the rapidly forming headache that pulsed inside my skull, not wanting to deal with the backlash that I was going to get from my sister.
"Lettie, I'm not going to be detained. Don't listen to any of those idiots who spew lies. I am back on probation because of an incident but--"
Collette cut me off with a scoff of indifference, her sparkling blue eyes that she inherited from only Mama, the color so beautiful and bright that I wished I hadn't been born with the green irises that belonged to my unknown father, glaring at me which such anger, such vengeance, that I wasn't surprised when she lashed out at me for what felt like the millionth time in a row lately.
"Seriously?! You just can't manage to keep to yourself, can you? Yeah, I heard all about you assaulting the Chief of Engineering after he wouldn't have sex with you! Ugh, it's disgusting just to even think about it!"
My eyebrows shot up into my hairline, just what kind of rumor was spiraling through the wormhole of the Celestial now?
Somehow I was now the one who tried to initiate sexual contact with loser Kyle and then assaulted him because he wouldn't put out?
Even though I could see through that bullshit of a lame ass rumor that was spread around by God only knows who but Collette wasn't that cultured yet, she didn't understand that not everything that was said was to be true.
That most of the people on the Celestial were entitled pricks who had nothing else better to do with their lives then to mess around with someone else's.
"Lettie, you know those rumors aren't true, right? I wouldn't ever do that–"
My sister only waved her hand as she cut me off again mid sentence, her blue eyes burning a hole into my soul with the heat that was emitting from within.
If looks could kill, I'm pretty sure I'd be burnt to a crisp right now.
"Yeah, I really believe you, just like you wouldn't go behind Commander Ophelia's back and talk to the family of that guy who got Cast Out. He deserved it, he was fucking crazy and now, you're going crazy too! Why couldn't I just have a normal family like everybody else here? Why did I get stuck with a loser like you?"
She swore loudly and angrily and a ping of regret burst through my heart at the notion that Collette may truly mean what she was saying.
Even in the heat of an argument, my sister was very literal and methodical when it came to her words and their context and this was no exception.
And it hurt to know that I had failed her as a sister and as a mentor.
I should've done better, should've set a better and clearer path for her to follow but instead, I tried to carve my own way into the galaxy and it only ended in multiple dead ends and an estranged baby sister who I promised to protect.
She stormed towards me then and stared me down, those red curls that I used to tame with my fingers alone when she was younger now tied back in a simple braid that was rapidly becoming loose with her unruly locks.
My heart sank at the knowledge that she had done her own hair this time around, an act that I would usually assist her in but she had been reluctant with allowing me to assist her in small, tedious tasks such as tying back one's hair.
"Don't bother making this right again because you'll just screw it up and don't call me Lettie anymore, you lost the chance to call me that when you stopped caring about everybody else."
My sister stormed out of the tight bedchambers, the door shutting behind her with a bang that resounded throughout the nearly empty room and my aching heart.
I sat down on the springy cot of a bed, the only piece of furniture that wasn't built into the Celestial as a functional item and use of storage, and curled my legs beneath me as my arms hugged themselves around my ribs tightly.
I seemed so insignificant compared to the complex vastness of the Galaxy and even the tiny quarters seemed to be too big for my small, meaningless existence.
In a sense, my body was attempting to curl in one itself, to become one with nothing as that was truly how I felt.
I felt like nothing. I had failed Mama after promising her that I would take care of Collette, I had failed my sister after not becoming the sister she needed me to become and I've failed my fellow comrades after swearing not to become the thing I feared the most.
The center of the gossiping world.
I was now being targeted by liars and accusers.
For now, I was safe inside my bedchambers but I knew that false sense of security wouldn't last forever.
And tears at that realization threatened to burn my cheeks with their staining marks.
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-Ro♥️