Pregnancy, you repeated Hange's words in your mind and yet somehow it felt so surreal. Your mind was occupied with all the possibilities that came along with it for the rest of the day that you didn't realize you hadn't seen Levi all afternoon.
Not until you came across him as he walks his stallion to the stable and you called him.
If what Hange said is true, and you knew deep within you that there's high chance of it being possible, you wonder how to tell Levi. It shouldn't be hard to tell him, since he deserves to know more than anyone else.
But it's the consequences that came along with it after he finds out.
"Do you want to take a stroll with me?" you asked when he came out of the stables and he stopped in front of you.
"You should have told me before I put my stallion back there."
You took a step closer, noticing the wrinkles in his cravat. When you asked him if the cloth has any sentimental value for him, Levi told you about the woman who gave birth to him in the brothel in the underground.
Like her, you would become a mother too.
Somehow the word sounded so heavy now than before. Levi told you about his mother and the cravat he always wears is a token from her. So in a sense he always carry something of the woman who gave him life.
You arranged his cravat and straightened it, dusting it before you looked at it one last time and looked back at Levi. "We don't need to ride the horses. Let's just take a walk."
Besides, you don't know if you're allowed to ride horses anymore. It's one of the many things that started to bother you since early this morning. If you can't ride a horse, then there's a chance you might not be allowed to use the 3DMG too.
"Sure," Levi said, turning around as you walk beside him.
The Scout Regiment headquarter offers a wide meadow that stretches as far as your eyes can see. The meadow offers a sense of tranquillity in this seemingly cruel world.
"Are you feeling unwell?" Levi suddenly asked and you froze for a second until he continued. "You don't usually ask for walks like this."
"It's been a while since we last take a stroll around here," you answered with a light chuckle.
Levi didn't say anything after that, but as you two walk side by side, his hand would brush alongside yours until you felt him hold your hand in his and you looked down.
"This much should be fine," Levi said, his hand tightening around yours and you squeezed it back.
"It's fine."
Besides, you're walking to the direction where there is no one around. Until it's just the two of you, walking hand in hand in the meadow that stretches as far as your eyes can see. And the orange canvas from the golden hour of dusk had now been painted black as stars started to make its way up the sky.
The temperature started to gradually drop and the zephyr brought by nightfall blew by. You stopped by the oak tree and sat on the ground, prompting Levi to sit as well. The silence that lingers around you two briefly vanished when you spoke.
"There's something I want to tell you."
"There's something I want to tell you."
By chance, Levi had said the same thing almost at the same time and you look at him.
"Do you want to talk first?" Levi asked but you shook your head no. "Alright then. I just want to tell you that I'll be leaving the HQ tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" you asked, sitting up to look at Levi. "Why, where are you going?"
"Erwin asked me to come. We're going to the underground to check some things."
Levi knows the underground better than anyone else here. And it's Erwin, so there's no way Levi can disobey his orders.
"Should I come too?"
"No," Levi's answer came in short and precise. "Erwin didn't say you should come. Besides, the underground is a dangerous place."
Unconsciously Levi's hand went up to his cravat and you noticed how he touched it. A reminder of what was left of his mother's memories to him. And in the hand holding the cravat, around his finger, you saw the ring.
"Right," Levi said. "What were you about to tell me?"
"I'll tell you when you come back. It wouldn't take long, right?" you stood up and dusted your pants before you look at Levi. "Come on, let's go back."
Levi had an intuition that night, that for some reason he thought he knew what you were going to tell him but he doesn't want to think too much into it. Since you're going to tell him soon anyways. He'll just wait until you tell him.
After the short stroll you two headed back to headquarter and to the dining hall where soldiers are lining up to get dinner.
Supper ended as usual and you and Levi retired to both of your respective quarters. That night, you found it hard to sleep. Even as you toss and turn on your bed, slumber wouldn't come its way to you and after hours you still lie there wide awake.
You stare up the dull ceiling before your hand found your stomach. You always have a toned abdomen from years of training, but you didn't realize that your stomach had hardened a bit.
"So there's a small life in there," you muttered, pressing on it lightly before you rub your stomach. "It feels so surreal."
Strange, but not the bad type of strange.
It just felt so unreal and somewhere down the line you somehow felt scared. You couldn't pinpoint where exactly that sense of fear comes from, or perhaps it was because of the fact that your life is not only yours anymore.
You sat up on the bed and climbed down, taking a shawl, you headed outside your quarter and into the empty corridors of the headquarter that used to be a castle. You trudged down the hallway and towards Levi's quarter before you knocked.
"Come in."
You heard his muffled voice before you turned the knob and pushed open the door as Levi looked up from the piles of papers he was reading.
"I knew you'd still be awake," you reckoned when you walked in and Levi put the papers down.
"Why are you here?"
"I can't sleep," you said, sitting on the bed after putting the lamp on the side. "Maybe if I lie with you I'd be able to sleep."
Levi pushed himself up, the chair screeching back as he made his way towards you while taking his cravat off and unbuttoning his polo.
"Are you sure you'd get any sleep at all?"
When he had walked up to you, Levi propped one of his knees on the edge of the bed and held your chin up before his lips touched yours.
And then he was kissing you, his tongue slipping in your mouth as you put your arms on the bed when you felt yourself being pushed back.
The kiss turned rougher as the seconds passed and you didn't know why you were suddenly stimulated faster than before. When Levi leaned back your face is completely flushed and your eyes half-lidded from the apparent stimulus that came along his kiss.
"I don't think we should go any further than this," Levi suddenly uttered and you look at him.
"We shouldn't?" you asked. "Why?"
You felt your heart rapidly beating against your chest and you glance to the side.
"What do you mean why? Do you want to continue?"
For some reason, you do want to continue, so with a subtle nod and a mutter under your breath, you said those words. "You started it. You should take responsibility and finish it yourself."
You suddenly felt Levi's forehead on your shoulder and he held your arm, his hand tightening around your forearm before his hand loosened its grip.
"And here I thought I'd be able to stop myself."
He leaned back before he cupped your face and he was about to kiss you again when a knock suddenly resonated from his door causing you to flinch.
"Fucking hell," Levi cursed, leaning back as he stood up. "I'll slice that bastard up if he's going to say something useless."
Apparently, that bastard turned out to be a soldier sent by Erwin who asked Levi to come to his office. As much as he hates leaving you there, Levi told you he'll be back quickly and left.
A few seconds afterwards, you lie on his bed, turning to your side as your hands found your stomach again. "Will it be fine though?"
You shrugged your shoulders and closed your eyes, trying to calm your wildly beating heart as your breath started to turn light and before you knew it, you are falling in the depths of slumber. When Levi came back you were already sound asleep.
Levi didn't bother waking you up, instead he let you rest as he sat back on his chair and continued what he was doing before you came earlier.
The very next day, Levi and Erwin left the headquarters and headed to the underground. He said they wouldn't take long and will be back at the break of dawn by tomorrow.
But not a few hours after they left, a soldier came rushing after them and when she caught up with them, she told Levi and Erwin about the sudden news.
"Captain Levi, Deputy Commander Erwin," she started, catching her breath before she continued. "Captain Y/n had collapsed."