Six clones and a Jedi walked into a lab.
It sounds like the start of a bad joke, but no, it was just your life.
"Remember, this is a stealth mission," Anakin explained, his words translating before your very eyes. "No blasting, no blowing things up."
The elevator door opened, revealing a crowd of Techno Union-ified battle droids. You switched off your visor half a moment before Wrecker let out a battle cry and charged the droids, followed closely by you and the rest of your group. The five of you quickly tore through the droids, blasting, kicking, slicing, throwing, and punching the Techno Union's guards, reducing them to heaps of sparking metal.
Anakin glared down at one of the fallen droids, then glanced back at the Bad Batch. He said what you believed to have been "I said stealth mission."
"That is how we do stealth missions," you signed directing to the rest of your enhanced clone squadron. "You understand, don't you?"
Tech reiterated what you had said to Anakin, whose face slackened with embarrassment before he shot you an irritated glare. You just grinned innocently.
After a long trek through a maze of droid-filled halls and more 'stealth' than Wrecker could tolerate, you and the others reached the source of the signal Tech had picked up. Rex hoped to find Echo behind that door, but you wished otherwise. You didn't want to know what the Techno Union would have had to do to someone in order to physically extract information from their brain. You would have much preferred to find some kind of complex algorithm - something non-sentient.
As usual, your hopes were crushed by the cruel reality of war.
You slipped inside with Tech and Rex, aiding the former in opening the stasis chamber before you. Your heart pounded as your fingers flew across the control panel, the complex movements nothing more than second nature after so many years in Tech's company. There was a living being inside that chamber, you all knew it, but you had a disheartening feeling that he wouldn't remain that way for much longer. Not unless you managed to get him out.
When the chamber slid open, steam spilling out and coating the ground, you stumbled back into Tech, eyes wide with alarm. Something that resembled a corpse fell from the chamber, hanging above you like a sickly puppet.
Rex rushed towards the half-dead man and pulled him free from the tangle of wires he was trapped in while Tech lunged for the control panel once again.
Desperate to help in some way, you scrambled towards Rex and who you could only assume was Echo, kneeling beside the latter to check his vitals. Weak, but present. He was still alive, though not for much longer if you and the others didn't get him out of there soon.
Suddenly, the pale clone snapped out of his trance. He fell forward into Rex's arms, twitching and gasping. You had no idea what he was saying, but based on Rex's expression, you could guess.
You sent Echo a kind smile, silently reassuring the cyborg that everything would be alright. Echo didn't seem to catch this, however, as his unfocused eyes drifted around the room. He blinked slowly as he adjusted to the sudden abuse of light faced by his sensitive eyes.
The others rushed in only a few moments later, and Tech and Rex freed Echo from his confinement as Wrecker, Crosshair, and Hunter sealed the door. When Crosshair announced that a massive wave of droids was approaching, Echo, who was slowly gaining strength, unlocked the exhaust vent in the ceiling of the facility.
"Good idea, but I can't fly," you signed, staring straight up at the vent, which was far too high for even Wrecker to reach. "Or jump."
Wrecker, ever the quick thinker, solved that problem immediately. He seized Hunter and hurled him at the vent. The Sergeant just barely caught the sides, shot Wrecker a glare, then started climbing. Crosshair was next (though he protested and cursed the entire time), then Tech, followed by the still delirious Echo. Rex was chucked not a moment after Tech dragged Echo to safety, then you made grabby hands at Wrecker.
"My turn," you signed, grinning.
"Hang on tight," Wrecker said, mirroring your grin. He scooped you up, spun around, then hurled you at the vent. It was somehow both fun and terrifying. Just like Tech's flying.
Anakin leapt up behind you, and after planting a few bombs, Wrecker was lifted to safety by the Jedi. Not a moment too soon, either, as a strange machine entered the lab and shot bolts of electricity in all directions, searching for your group.
You shifted to the side of the vent, drew your blaster, and fired through the narrow gap in the vent next to Wrecker. The single bolt from your high-powered blaster tore through the strange droid like it was made of thin cloth, and it crashed into the stasis chamber, sparking and twitching. Bullseye.
"Nice shot, Y/n," Wrecker signed. "Cut it a little close, though."
You shrugged, twirling your blaster and sheathing it on your belt. "It's more fun that way," you signed back before resuming your climb.
The vent closed, and when Tech declared that everyone was a safe enough distance away, Wrecker set off the explosives. The lab went up in flames behind you like virtually every building of importance did in the cool action movies you, Wrecker, and Crosshair loved to watch together.
As you made your way through the cooling vents, Echo explained what he knew about the schematics of the building, with Tech translating for you as you walked. The now cyborg led your merry band outside, where you were greeted by a truly terrifying sight: a narrow path between where you were and the landing bay, which happened to cross over a very, very, very long drop.
Amazing, truly. Such a wonderful experience. Wrecker's dream.
Just when everything seemed to be going half decent, a group of droids blocked your path. The eight of you drew your various weapons and fought back as the droids attacked.
Crosshair fell off the pipe, but, thankfully, was caught by Wrecker. The two landed on a post just below you, continuing to fire at the droids even as they hung upside down. And that, folks, is the power of chaotic siblings.
Speaking of, it was only a few moments before your other chaotic sibling sensed his time to shine. When asked for a plan by Anakin, Tech got yet another very Tech idea.
The next thing you knew, everyone was suffering. All around you, clones and Jedi alike dropped, covering their ears and letting out what you assumed were strings of curses. It was times like this that you were grateful you couldn't hear.
Moments later, a group of familiar, bat-like creatures burst through the clouds below you, soaring past and circling around you and the others, calling out to one another.
Anakin leapt off first, landing on the nearest Keeradak. You jumped after him, landing behind him on the winged creature. Rex and Echo followed you closely, then Wrecker and Crosshair dropped onto a third Keeradak. Finally, Hunter and Tech leapt to safety, and the eight of you steered the Keeradaks away from Tambor's fortress.
As usual, you weren't out of trouble yet.
The droids took off, extending what you now realized were wings to soar after you.
"Oh, come on!" you signed furiously to the others, pointing at the droids behind you before blasting one between the eyes.
"That wasn't part of the plan," Tech admitted, throwing you an agitated look over his shoulder as he turned to face his opponents.
Despite the surprise of the aerial battle droids, they were soon taken down, and your group landed safely in the Poletecs' village. After yet another argument with the planet's inhabitants, they agreed that the Techno Union made very rude neighbors, and decided to help get rid of them.
A battalion of droids arrived shortly after your group lay a trap, this time accompanied by a group of Octuptarra tri-droids. Goody.
Why did things always go from bad to worse?
"We've got clankers," you signed to Crosshair from your place on lookout. The sniper, who had been keeping an eye on you from afar, called your warning to the others.
You slid down the boulder you had been waiting on and ran back towards the group, stopping every few meters to activate the countdown on the experimental droid poppers you and Tech had made and placed around the village. Those tinnies were in for a surprise.
When the droids reached the village, a battle commenced. Nearly half of the ground troops were caught in your trap, but too many remained for your liking, even after Wrecker flattened a handful with a boulder. The new droid poppers needed work.
As Echo, Anakin and Crosshair handled the aerial droids, you, Rex, Wrecker, Tech and Hunter tore through the remaining ground forces. Droid poppers, blaster bolts, knives and Wrecker all proved themselves invaluable against the droids.
It wasn't long before the tri-droids were determined to be a big problem, and Anakin leapt from his place beside Crosshair and Echo to take one of them out, slicing through its leg and sending it crashing to the ground.
Rex was unwillingly volunteered by Wrecker to take care of the second droid.
You had been separated from the others when you dashed off to aid a group of Poletecs, and hadn't been able to find your way back. Still, you fought on, unconcerned. You knew the boys could handle themselves, and you were sure you would be fine.
And you were.
For a few minutes.
As the waves of droids coming at you grew larger and larger, it became clear that you needed backup, but had no idea how to reach your team. Your comlink was transmitting your location, but in the heat of battle, nobody had noticed.
Just when the droids were becoming too much, a series of shots flew past your head, striking a trio of droids who had gotten a little too close for comfort. You risked a glance over your shoulder, not ceasing fire as you did so, and locked eyes with Echo. For having lost over half of his body, he was fighting incredibly well. The now-cyborg had a fiery spirit, that was for sure.
You scrambled to his side, the two of you slowly backing away from the firefight that you had been locked in. You and Echo dove for cover behind a boulder, sending the occasional shot back at the droids, who decided that, instead of circling around to find you, they would just blast the rocks.
Well, we can't all be geniuses.
Echo attempted to share a plan with you, but when you didn't respond, he nudged your shoulder to draw your attention. You briefly switched on your translator in order to catch what he was saying.
"I'll keep them occupied up here. You loop around behind them. When I signal you, we'll jump them. Give them everything you've got."
You gave Echo a curt nod, switched off your visor, and snuck around behind the droids, rolling and ducking to avoid being seen.
When you were positioned behind a rock formation, you saw a flash of pale skin as Echo reached one hand out and flicked it towards the droids in what you assumed was the signal. The two of you sprung from your hiding places, catching the droids off guard, and quickly pulverized them. After a victorious fist bump, the two of you dashed off to rejoin the group.
When the Techno Union's droids had been demolished, the Poletecs saw you off. As you took your place in the copilot seat, you thought back to the battle, nodded to yourself, then waved the other Bad Batchers over.
"Echo is quite the fighter," you signed. "He saved my life."
"You really need to stop almost dying," Hunter signed, ruffling your hair affectionately. "What is that, nineteen times now?"
"Eighteen," you corrected, irritated. "But that's not the point. The point is that he's not a reg anymore. Who knows what the Republic will do to him now that he doesn't fit their standards? It's a waste of potential, if you ask me."
"I wholeheartedly agree," Tech signed back with a curt nod.
"You'd better not be suggesting what I think you are," Crosshair signed, narrowing his eyes as he rolled a toothpick in his mouth. "He's not joining us. He's a reg."
"Not anymore," Wrecker argued, repeating what you had stated earlier. "He's like us now. I think we should at least give him a chance."
"You're too trusting," Crosshair signed, nostrils flaring as he let out a long sigh.
"And you're too cynical," you countered, poking your tongue out at him. "He deserves a chance. What do you think, Hunter?"
The Sergeant thought for a moment, his gaze drifting across his teammates' faces, then he sighed. "I'm not sure if we can trust him. He seems decent, but it's too early to tell. We can discuss this further later. After he proves himself loyal."
You nodded, pleased with the response to your half-baked, spur-of-the-moment suggestion. "That's all I ask."