Cold wind was breathing down my neck as I felt myself adjust to my surroundings. The frame of the windshield held surviving shards of glass that were trying to stay in place. Despite their efforts, the shards were no match as I could hear the delicate sound of gravity forcing them to fall inside the interior of the car.
The wind was harsh against my skins as it let itself in through it the now empty space of car's framework. The glass had given into a beating that it couldn't fight against. Despite its best efforts, it had failed. It was not good enough, no matter how much it thought it was. No matter how much it tried to be. It was supposed to stay in place and protect me, but the glass was unable to give me the protection it was meant to.
Now that my filter had gone, I was exposed to the cruel outside world and it was cold.
I tried to adjust to my surroundings, but my head was spinning like we were still driving. Everything felt like it was moving and nothing seemed the same anymore.
"Charlotte," I heard someone say.
I felt something in my right hand. I looked down to it from where my head was drooped against the frame of the car. For a second time, I felt something squeeze my hand. I tried to move it, but I couldn't. My whole body ached and groaned like it wanted me to know it was pissed off. Yet, I was still trying to figure out what had happened.
What had happened?
"Charlotte?" I heard the voice say again.
I forced myself to strain my neck to look upwards. I was slouched slightly in the passenger seat and it hurt to look at whoever was trying to get my attention.
"Don't move." They said, but It was too late.
I already had shifted my body upright, turning my head to look to my left. I let out a shaky breath as I saw Billy's upper body leaning over the steering wheel. His seatbelt was the only thing that had probably prevented him from being propelled through the gap where the windshield used to be. His head was bloody, blood had trickled down from his forward and stained his neck. He was not okay. He was not fine. Nothing about this was fine.
I was about to reach for him. I needed to shake him. I wanted to make him respond. My mind jumped to the worse case scenarios as I looked at him powerlessly.
"Don't move, Charlotte." The voice repeated. "He's all right, he's breathing. We checked his pulse."
I let out a sigh of relief. He had a pulse. His heart was still beating. He was still breathing. He wasn't dead.
"Charlotte, look at me." The voice said again.
I forced my eyes to look away from Billy's lifeless body. Soon my crystal blue eyes focused on a pair of hazel eyes. My senses slowly gave me permission to try and gather the pieces of information together. I felt my mind go round in circles as I registered familiar dark hair and hazel eyes. An unfamiliar concerned gaze was fixed on me as the persons eyes were furrowed together. I looked at his eyes and realised it was Sebastian.
I tried to sit up in my seat again, when I realised who had been talking to me. However, I let out a cry of pain before either of us could say anything. When I had shifted in my seat, a wave of pain shot through me, forcing me to look at its source. In my leg, a large piece of glass was pierced into my skin. I winced just looking at it. It was so deep that I wondered whether it had reached the bone.
"God, you never listen." I heard Sebastian mutter, shaking his head.
I could barely find it within me to respond. I felt weighed down by the pain in my leg. It was like nothing I have ever felt before.
"Charlotte, look at me." Sebastian said to me.
I grimaced, trying to force my eyes away from my leg. It made me feel sick knowing that something had sliced it's way into my skin. I wanted it out.
I directed my gaze away from the shard of glass that was embedded into my leg and once again met his eyes. "Keep looking at me, okay?" Sebastian said to me.
I nodded slowly, conscious of moving anymore and drawing attention to any other injuries that I had no idea I had sustained. My body was already aching and radiating with pain. I didn't want to find out where else I had been injured.
However, looking at Sebastian didn't magically make the pain go away. When I kept my gaze on his hazel eyes, I suddenly felt pressure being applied to my leg.
I cried in pain. "W-What are you doing?" I exclaimed, searching his eyes for an explanation for the weight that had just been added to my leg.
I had lost all courage to look at my leg again. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to see it. It already hurt enough.
"Try and stay calm, Charlotte. Trust me, okay?" Sebastian said, looking at me with desperation swimming in the depths of his hazel eyes. "We need to keep it in place and control the bleeding. I'm just applying pressure onto it."
"No." I said, about to shake my head almost frantically, I but stopped myself. I had to remember I was trying to be still. "Take it out." I said, my breath shaky as I kept my eyes focused on his hazel ones. "It hurts. I want it out."
I felt Sebastian's hand on my leg. He was making no move to pull it out. Instead, I felt him holding the glass in place. It was almost like he was purposely trying to draw out my pain. I felt myself wince again as he did nothing to remove it. He was leaving it in.
"What are you doing?" I questioned. My voice was a hollow whisper as I scanned his face for any sign that he would take it out. "Don't leave it in. Get that thing out of my leg!"
I watched his eyes desperately hoping that he would listen to me. A sinking feel came creeping in. I wondered whether he hated me so much that he'd rather watch me go through this pain than do anything to stop it.
"We're going to leave it in, okay?" Sebastian told me."I don't want to risk doing any damage to the tissue."
I don't know what it was, but I actually believed him. There was a kind of comforting reassurance that had made its way to the surface of his hazel eyes, making them look kinder. Sebastian was actually doing what was best for me.
"It hurts so much, Sebastian." I whispered.
I felt my eyes go glassy as I tried not to give into the tears that were threatening to force themselves down my cheeks. The pain was becoming unbearable. It felt as if the pain was slowly encasing my body like it was my very own coffin. I just wanted it to stop.
"I know, Charl." Sebastian said softly. I wanted to shut my eyes and escape the pain so badly.
The wave of pain that had come over my body wasn't crashing. It just kept rising. I was starting to feel like it would wash over me.
"Hey keep your eyes on me, Charlie." Sebastian said. I used his voice as an anchor and drew my eyes towards him like he could bring me to shore. "It won't be long until the paramedics are here. Harry's sorting that now." He reassured me, giving me a small smile.
"Harry's here?" I questioned, feeling slightly comforted by the fact that I wasn't alone with Sebastian right now.
Sebastian nodded. "He's just by the car, the signal wasn't very good over here."
I panicked for a moment. If the signal was bad, would Harry be able to get hold of somebody? Would nobody come and help?
"Someone's coming, right?" I asked, trying to remain as calm as possible.
I wanted to get out of this car, I wanted to force open the car door and get out of here. Yet, I didn't. I had seen enough TV shows and movies to know that was a bad idea. I could do more damage. However, what surprised me the most was that for some reason I trusted Sebastian in this moment. Something within me knew he was probably the best person to look after me right now.
"Someone will come." Sebastian told me.
Sebastian's words sounded honest, but I was still scared that my worst case scenario situation was happening. What if no one was coming and Sebastian was trying to keep me calm so that I didn't make matter worse?
"How do you know if he's over there still on the phone?" I was breathless as I tried to challenge him, but I had to know even if it took all that was left in me to find out the truth. I had to know someone was coming. We couldn't be left here alone. "Are you sure Harry's managed to get hold of someone? For all you know Harry still could be trying to get signal?"
"He shouted over to me. He told me he got hold of someone." Sebastian said.
I looked at him cautiously. He looked so reassuring in this moment that It felt like he was telling me the truth, but what if he wasn't? What if he was lying to me?
"How do I know you're just not trying to reassure me?" I questioned carefully, my voice felt strained as I tried to get the words out.
"I promise, okay? You have my word."
"Your word? What a load of shit that is." I replied, letting out the slightest shaky laugh.
"I keep my word, Charlotte."
I looked at him, but I didn't say anything. There was nothing I could do. All I could do was hope he was telling me the truth and that someone was coming. So I nodded, trying to trust that he wasn't simply trying to comfort me. However, the idea of someone coming wasn't enough to stop me from feeling my tears well up in my eyes again. My cheeks were wet before I had even realised I had failed from stopping them from spilling. No matter how many tears seemed to let themselves stain my cheeks, they didn't help. The pain was still there. I felt the pain in my leg continue to pulse. Nothing was helping. Everything was excruciating.
"You've got to stay calm, Charlotte." Sebastian reassured me. "This will all be over soon, okay?"
I closed my eyes for a moment as I tried to pretend I wasn't here. I wished I was somewhere else, somewhere far away from here. I hoped when I opened my eyes none of this had ever happened.
"Charl, keep your eyes open. Okay? Trying and focus on me."
I huffed as I tried to peel my eyes open again. Crude reality met my vision as I saw Sebastian once again. My wishes never come true.
"I don't want to focus on you." I said shakily. "I don't like your face."
I thought I heard it wrong, but the sound lingered in the air. Sebastian had let out the slightest chuckle as he looked at me with the faintest hint of amusement.
"Can't say I like the look of your face very much right now either." Sebastian said to me, a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.
I rolled my eyes at him, but even though his comment was assaulting my appearance, I was grateful for it. I felt the slightest smile threaten its way onto my lips as I realised that Sebastian Lakewood had somehow managed to amuse me.
"You can't be nice to me just because I've been in a car accident." I said, now looking at him unamused. "That's not how things work in real life. Don't pretend you don't hate me just because I'm one injury away from needing CPR."
Just like that, Sebastian's smile faltered. His eyes washed over my face in a way that I had never seen him look at me or anyone before. Yet, I still had no idea what was going through his head. I barely had the faintest idea who Sebastian Lakewood was.
"Don't say that." Sebastian told me.
I raised an eyebrow at him. "What? That you might have to give me CPR?" I smirked.
Sebastian rolled his eyes and I heard a slight scoff escape his lips. "You're the most impossible person I've ever met."
"There's no fun in being easy." I said, almost shrugging, but the pain in my leg reminded me not to move.
"Of course, you'd see it like that." Sebastian said, raising his eyebrows at me in an almost unamused fashion.
"I'm not always trying to be difficult, Sebastian." I admitted.
"It doesn't matter, Charlotte. Lets just focus on getting you out of here. Okay?"
I wanted to let it go, but I could sense that he wasn't so sure that my difficult nature didn't matter. Sebastian was just trying to sweep under the rug that he was probably irritated by me. I had caused this. Despite me thinking he was, Sebastian wasn't cruel enough to remind me that I had done this. It seemed he wasn't as cold-hearted as I first thought he was.
"It's fine, Sebastian. I can handle the truth. It's Karma taking a hit on me with some twisted sense of deja vu." I said, breathlessly. I almost let out a laugh as I thought about the sheer irony of my situation."Does the story end the same way twice?"
"Don't say that."Sebastian said. For the first time, I witnessed Sebastian's eyes show remorse in the face of the slightest reference to my sister. "You're going to be fine, okay? I know you will."
I wish I could block out the thought of my sister, but how could I when every inch of this was a reminder of her. Alice's memory made me feel the pain in a different way. I longed for my sister to tell me that everything was going to be all right. Usually she was right. Everything turned out okay in the end, until it didn't. Alice's last words to me crept their way into my mind.
it's going to be fine, Charlie. I'll see you when you get home.
I could hear Alice's voice taunt me as I tried to keep my eyes open. I could almost smell her citrus perfume. I could feel her presence try to stand between me and Sebastian. Alice was trying to push away the crude reality and shield me from it. However, I couldn't give into the illusion. No matter how I felt, my mind reminded me that I was imagining it. The feeling wasn't real. Alice wasn't here. I wanted it so badly to be true, but my senses were deceiving me. Before the feeling wore off, I was wise to its deception. Somehow, my mind anchored me to reality and was no longer susceptible to the way Alice's current was trying to guide me to shore. I was already swimming, I couldn't stop now. She couldn't carry me to safety. Only I could do that.
"Charlotte, stay focused on me."I heard Sebastian's voice say to me. Somehow he had managed to pierce through my consuming thoughts and I was able to hear him.
I wished it would stop. Everything reminded me of her. Everything lead me to her.
"Not long now." Sebastian said, I sensed he was realising that my body was getting more tired. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open.
"My head hurts, Sebastian." My voice had lost all the strength it had once had. It was now a shell of its former self. "I've never felt so much pain."
"I know, but you've got to try and block it out." Sebastian told me.
"It hurts so much." I said. "I want it to stop."
"Not long now, Charl. Someone will get here soon, okay. Just focus on me."
"How long?" I questioned.
"Soon." Sebastian repeated.
"Even now you can't answer my questions." I whispered, feeling irritated.
Sebastian sighed and narrowed his eyes at me, but before he could say anything I heard footsteps approaching. The sound of the crunching of leaves followed with the sound of Harry's voice.
"Any signs of her coming around?" Harry asked from behind Sebastian.
I watched Sebastian lifelessly as I saw him be careful not to move his hands or his body as he glanced at Harry.
"She's come to it." Sebastian stated. "Just trying to keep her distracted."
"Fuck, Charl. What did that tree ever do to you?" I heard Harry say from behind the Sebastian.
I felt a smile tug at my lips as I met his eyes. Never had I been so grateful to see him.
"Harry," I said. I could feel the way his name was held delicately by my voice. "How long?" I questioned.
"They're on their way." Harry told me. "Just hang on, Charl. You'll be okay."
"Mmh." I hummed slightly.
Yet, the good news didn't make me feel any better. I could still feel it. The wave was continuing to rise, it was only getting stronger.
"Have you managed to get hold of Dad or Daisy?" Sebastian asked Harry.
I leaned into their voices as a distraction, hoping to use them to shield me from what's to come.
"Daisy no. Dad yes. He said he'd find her and take her and Tommy to the hospital. Hopefully they should get there by the time we do."
The thought of my Mom seemed to work. Instantly, a different kind of sinking feeling pulled on my heart as the realisation hit me. This was the second time my Mom would experience one of her children being in a car accident. How could I do that to her?
"My Mom's going to kill me." I realised.
I saw the boys look to each other, but they didn't say anything. I wondered if they thought I'd deserved whatever I was going to get. After all, I had put myself in this situation. I was the cause and this was the effect.
"I think you've been punished enough, don't you?" Sebastian said, seemingly trying to reassure me, but I looked at him unconvinced.
"How is that fair," I exasperated, "Someone like me can't survive something like this when Alice couldn't."
I felt the wave come back around again, but this time guilt swirled around inside of it.
"Charlie, this has nothing to do with who you are as a person." Harry told me.
No matter how much I tried to ignore it, the wave was now encroaching on me like I was its shore. I wanted to shut my eyes again. This was too much. It was too hard.
"Charlie, try not think about that." I heard Sebastian's voice say as I felt my eye lids slowly start lean into each other.
"Charlie, try and keep your eyes open for me. Look at me."
I couldn't. I couldn't fight it anymore. My strength crumbled. I felt myself fail to fight it as the wave washed over me . This time it was too strong, it was too much and no shield could hide it from me any longer. It was there and it was real. Everyone had been trying to ignore it, but finally crude reality had found a way to hit me.
The wave washed over me and just like that I couldn't feel anything anymore.
This is probably the longest conversation Sebastian and Charlie have ever had.
What do you think is going to come?
In the middle of deadlines and writing's always my way to procrastinate. So I've updated early :) if I get a bad grade, at least I also have this book to show at the end of my degree.