Exams came and went, and summer arrived. The few weeks before exams had been hectic, and I was cramming almost every free hour I had into revising. Roman and I did end up seeing each other a little less during the weekdays because of it but we hung out with all our friends every Friday night and then paid each other special attention over the weekends.
When exams were finally done, our whole group of friends probably spent two weeks partying almost every night and it was great. We went clubbing or drove down to the beach two hours away and camped on the shore or hung out at each other's houses watching shitty movies with a beer in our hands. I hadn't drunk much over exam season, and it felt good to let myself go and be free of all responsibility for a little while.
But then it all died down a little, meaning we still hung out every chance we got just not every night, because a bunch of them got summer jobs including my boyfriend and foster brother. Tonight, Roman wasn't here because he had work early in the morning, but Charlie and I were hanging out playing video games in his room. And there had been a question on my mind for a very long time that always slipped my mind, but I wasn't going to let it this time.
"Hey Charlie," I called.
"Yeah mate?"
"What happened with you and Naya? I saw you guys dance together months ago when we went clubbing for my birthday. I kept forgetting to ask though."
"Me and Naya? Yeah, mate that's old news. We just, we kind of had a thing that night but we talked the next day, and we were like nothing should happen."
"How come?"
"Well for one, she's going to uni in Edinburgh. She'll be so far away, and we were like, what's the point if we'll just end up breaking our hearts in the end because of the distance. So, nothing else happened. Well... every now and then we'll... but nothing serious has happened," he explained. I can't believe that I had been so oblivious. I really was very preoccupied with Roman.
"Damn. You guys would have been so cute together," I commented.
"Well, who knows, maybe if it's meant to be we'll find each other again after uni 'n all that. She is gorgeous and smart and funny..." Charlie shook his head as though to clear his thoughts. "Anyway..."
"Do you think Roman and I will drift apart because of our distance at uni?" I asked having suddenly found this concern pop into my head now that Charlie mentioned the whole distance thing.
"What? No way. You guys literally won't be that far away from each other. Besides, you two are way too obsessed with each other to ever let something like that happen, I think."
I smiled thinking of Roman again and hoped Charlie was right.
——
"Hi babe," Roman said greeting me at my door. He'd been working for most of the day at the cinema, so I'd missed him, I missed him so much these days. Talking about uni earlier with Charlie had made me a little worried as well. I knew Roman and I wouldn't let go of each other, but I worried about how much I would miss him when we couldn't see each other as often anymore.
"Hi," I said giving him a kiss. "I missed you."
"I missed you too. Brought some dinner," Roman said showing me a bag of takeaway he'd been hiding behind his back this whole time. I hugged him in thanks and took the bag from him before running to the kitchen. Roman just laughed. "You're so cute with your food."
"Yesss you got Indian!"
"Yeah, your favourites too," he said coming up behind me.
"You're the best. I love you."
"Love you."
When we were stuffed full of food and watching tv in my room, it made me sad to think that after a long day of uni or work or whatever, that Roman and I couldn't just lie together in bed like this and just relax and decompress after a long day.
"It's gonna suck being at uni," I mumbled to him but luckily, he still heard so I didn't have to repeat myself.
"Yeah? Why's that?"
"We won't get to see each other as often," I explained.
"Well, seen as you got me a ridiculous car, I'm gonna be driving down to see you every other weekend and you're still gonna take the train to come see me in the weeks in between. So, we'll still see each other. Though, if you would take your bloody driving lessons then you could just drive as well," he replied making fun of my lack of driving. He always seemed to do it now these days. I know he just wants me to have a very basic life skill, but driving is scary! I will get around to it eventually though.
"Well, there's no parking at my accom anyway so no point right now," I complained. "But we'll talk every day right. Doesn't have to be a phone call or face time or anything because I know we'll both be busy but like we'll still text at least and check up on each other?"
"Baby, of course we will."
"You promise?" I asked looking up at him now.
"Pinky promise," he said wrapping his little finger around mine.
And when we made love that night, I held him as close as I could knowing I wouldn't be able to hold him this close as often as I could now very soon.
——
"How did you do?!" Dahlia asked on results day. We'd all gone in together to collect the big brown envelopes with our names on them that finally told us how all our hard work had paid off.
"One A and two A stars!" I told her and everyone else who was listening.
Charlie and Roman congratulated me as Dahlia gave me a big squeeze. She'd done well as well with three As and Charlie had gotten three Bs. I was so proud of everyone. It was just Roman now who had to open up his results.
"Well?" I asked looking over at him eagerly. He started opening the letter and honestly, he could not have done it any slower. I wasn't sure how he did until I saw a grin linger on his lips.
"A and two Bs," he said making me so excited that I jumped up at him for him to catch me with my legs around his waist. I gave him lots of big, exaggerated kisses on the cheek as I congratulated him, and I honestly didn't care about a single person who saw.
Though, when I got down and we waited for our other friends to find us, I did notice Roman looking over at someone. Louis.
"Shall we go stand somewhere else?" I asked hoping to get him away from a person who had hurt him so much. Louis was also staring back as well and honestly, I did not like him staring at my boyfriend.
"Nah. I don't care. Let him see how happy I am," Roman replied. It brought a smile to my face and when I kissed him again, I made sure Louis was watching.
——
With Roman and I having gotten the grades we wanted, we were all set to go to our first choice unis. I was thrilled knowing that, though we would be apart, the distance wasn't anything we couldn't cover and Roman spent all summer promising me that he wouldn't let us drift apart. I noticed in all of this, despite the countless guys that had used me and involved me in cheating, my concerns and worries about Roman and I being apart never had anything to do with the fact that I thought he might cheat on me. It made me feel so warm inside to know that I could trust someone so completely like that. What a miracle my man was.
We spent the summer having sex and drinking and watching shitty movies or going on small little holidays with our friends when were free to do so. Roman worked his ass off though to have a decent amount of money throughout the year so that he didn't have to work while studying. It very nearly inspired me to get a job myself, and I did apply to a few places, but after having been rejected from them all, I spent my summer planning.
I had my old family home that I needed to get rid of because I knew I'd never be able to live there again without being triggered on a daily basis, so I figured out how to put it on the housing market which Mike helped out with. Carrie and Emily helped me figure out what to do with my room at uni like how I wanted to decorate it and such. I got a bunch of presents for Roman in preparation for his birthday even though it was still months away, and I also allowed myself to relax.
I had everything in my life that I never dreamed of having and so much more life to live and everything felt happy and right.
"What you thinking about?" Roman asked. It was a Sunday afternoon, and we were in his garden, just the two of us, sharing a beer.
"Just life. There's so much more ahead of us," I replied. "And there was once a time when I thought my life was over."
"I'm so glad you're here baby," he said placing his hand over mine. The sun was high and bright and being ginger, I'd gotten a few burns over last few weeks, so I was caked in sunscreen right now.
"I really am too. I'm glad I'm here with you."
Roman smiled at that. "You know. I can see my whole life with you. Every important moment has you in it. Moving into my own place, marriage, kids; you're the one I do all of those things with."
He'd been thinking about all these things? I couldn't imagine myself being a father, mostly because I never thought I would have kids out of fear of everything that happened in my own childhood. But now that Roman's mentioned it, I could imagine having kids as long as I got to be a father with him. And Roman Kinglsey as my husband? That was certainly a dream come true. Would that make me Alden Kingsley or him, Roman Zeal. I couldn't decide which name sounded better and I couldn't wait to bicker about surnames with him in the future.
"I can see all of that as well, but only if I get to do it all with you. I don't ever want anyone else Roman. You're it for me. I'll either have you or I'll have no one," I admitted. I was fairly certain I was being truthful. How could ever open up to anyone else the way I had opened up to Roman and besides, who else would still find me attractive after seeing me throw up the first night we met?
"You'll always have me, silly," he promised.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
~~~~~~~~~
And alas, we have come to the end of this book.
I'm not sure how I feel about the ending to be honest. I don't think it's the best I could have done but I hope it will suffice.
When I started writing this book I was struggling a lot mentally and this gave me an escape, a passion, and a hobby again. I'm very much aware it's not the best book in the world but I'm still proud of myself for getting back into writing.
Currently, I won't be publishing another book for a little while. I have exams coming up and I want to be able to focus solely on that because even if no one asks me to update I will still feel obligated to update a certain amount a week. However, when exams are over, I do want to start writing something again.
In the mean time, I may post extra chapters and such for this book but no promises 😅
Love you all 💜