Mafuyu's pov.
Back home from school.
I need to do my homeworks.
I can't miss this opportunity: tomorrow i'll have a chance that will determinate my final score of the exam.
I'm so excited, at the same moment a bit exhausted.
I've been waiting for it for so long, I studied for months and months, I hope the results will be worth for all the time that I passed by studying.
I can't find my books.
While searching, i find a photo; it's me and Yuki.
Tears run on my face, by thinking 'why would he do that? is it all my fault?'.
By accident, my tears falled on the book I was searching.
I sat down on my chair right in front of the desk, and started studying.
Music help me, because it gives me joy.
I was searching for new music on Spotify, and i found this band with only three listeners a month.
So, took by curiosity, i tried to listen at least a song.
They weren't songs, it was just...
kinda of an instrumental.
It was still so good.
I've could listen to it for hours.
As i finished studying, i went downstairs for dinner.
There was sushi, waiting for me!
-Hi, my darling.
I ordered sushi for the two of us.-
I live only with my mom and Tama, my lovely and cute dog.
I love my mom too.
She's always so supportive.
I don't care about the fact I don't have a father, i know there are a lot of people like that aren't ashamed of that, because of course it isn't their fault.
My mother didn't tell me why I don't have a dad, and i don't even think it is the exactly moment to ask her.
I'll just wait.
-Thanks, mom.
Thanks for everything you do for me.-
-No problem, my child.
I'll always be there for you when you need.-
My heart melted while I heard those words.
As I was saying before, she's so sweet!
But, there's a side of her that totally scares me.
When she gets angry, she goes out of mind.
She says things that I know she wouldn't never say, but she did.
Then, she cries, and tells me she loves me.
That's true, sometimes i really exhaust her, and I'm sorry for that.
But, except this, she always treats me good.
I finished dinner, and i immediately went back to my room.
I listened to music at bed, crying thinking at what I've could done when that thing happened with Yuki, but I didn't.
Maybe I should stop thinking only about that, or I'll be an egoist?
I just need to leave the past behind my actual life.
But, how could I?
He was the only love of my life.
How could I ever forget him?
I can only stop crying about it, because now i can't do anything anymore, but this doesn't mean I'll forget him!
Right?
As i was thinking about all those things, i fell asleep by listening that music.
Uenoyama's pov.
I couldn't sleep.
Tomorrow I'll have an important exam.
I constantly have this fear to not pass it.
I just decided to text with my friend Akihiko, because I passed all the afternoon and evening on the desk studying.
'Hey, Akihiko, are you still up?
Wanna text?'
'Oh, I'm sorry Uenoyama, but I'm about to go to sleep.
I'm so tired! Tomorrow I'll have a test.'
'That's ok, goodnight.' I said.
After this, i opened my Instagram, and saw someone that liked my post.
'Mafuyu.sato likes your recent post.'
Usually only my friends know my Instagram, how could have he discovered it?
I clicked on his account, and it said that it was private, so i just sent the request.
I saw that on Spotify too someone called 'Mafuyu135' liked my post, so i understood that he was one of my new listeners!
I was so happy.
Finally someone new liked our music.
Soon I'll do a tour around the city with my band to do our mini 'concerts', yea, they're small, but still concerts.
I fell asleep happy, thinking how luck I was even if not famous.
Mafuyu's pov.
The next morning I woke up really anxious.
I felt like my whole life would end if I didn't pass the exam.
I worked a lot on it, so let's just start thinking about something else!
I kept repeating in my mind the things I learned.
While going to school, I was still listening at the music I listened yesterday.
It was so good.
I saw that the man that played guitar in the band sent me a request of following on my Instagram account, good, he noticed me!
I immediately accepted, then went out of the bus and walked a bit when I finally entered at school.
I saw this boy that really looked like that guitarist.
I finished the classes.
The exam went good, now I need to wait for the results.
I went to the boy I saw in the morning, and asked him if he did know the boy ot that band, the guitarist.
He laughed.
I knew it, he totally was the boy!
-Oh, dude, I'm that boy!
Why did you search me? Do you need anything?-
I shaked my head as sign of 'no'.
He was not that taller than me.
He has deep blue eyes and short black hair with blue highlights, maybe he tinted his hair.
I stared at him for about six seconds.
-Hey, what do you have to look?
Is there something wrong with me?-
I shaked my head again.
-You could talk, eh!-
Why was he that rough? I didn't even know him!
-I'm sorry, bye.-
I just said that, too embarrassed to talk more.
Uenoyama's pov.
Is him the famous 'fan'?
He was a boy quite tall like me, he was a ginger...omg, what the hell?
I never saw ginger-haired, wow.
He had kind of hazel eyes, I found them so cute!
By the way, he was a bit scary because he didn't talk!
Maybe I've been too rude, because he walked away.
I wonder why does he act like this.
I went out of school to meet my friends.
As I hugged them, i saw the boy that i before met staring at us.
-Why do you look at us like that? You look so strange!-
-Uenoyama! Why are ya talking like that? You don't even know what he's going through.- they said, then walked away looking at me rolling their eyes.
I gasped.
I saw the 'before-boy' looking in another direction.
There was a photo of that blonde guy that died some time ago.
I decided to go to talk with him.
-I'm sorry for before, but, like...
Why do you act like this?-
-What do you mean by 'like this'?
I've been acting normal.- he said, and then kept looking at that photo.
-Who's this? I heard of him, but...-
I was about to say, then I saw him looking down and then straight to me.
-He's my ex boyfriend.
He's dead, and it's all my fault.-
I didn't understand.
Didn't he killed himself?
-I'm sorry for that.
May I ask, what do you mean by that 'it is all my fault'?-
-You know, couples always argue.
And one time, we found ourselves arguing really bad.
I wasn't thinking of what I was saying, so while arguing, i just said 'then are you willing to die for me?'.
I still don't and I'll never know if he did that actually because of me, but he did.
He died, he couldn't stand alcohol, but he did what he did know not to do.
I found him.
I still can't believe it.
I'll never forget and forgive him for what he did, but I still do love him after all.-
He was so pure while saying that.
I didn't understand that type of pain, and I was so sorry for what happened to him.
I hugged him so tight.
-I hope that will make you a lil more happy.
I know it isn't your fault, don't worry.
Here's my number, anything you need just text me!-
He smiled.
I waved to him, but he didn't saw me and walked away.
In the evening I tried the new songs with my band for our tour, and in the evening I studied 'cause I had not that much homework to do.
I texted to him.
He sent me a photo of him smiling with written 'hey ^•^'.
I responded with a simple 'what are you doing?'
'texting with you xD'
'I meant before this...'
'oh, watching instagram reels'
'are you stalking me?'
'oh, no dude! reels of cute dogs, don't you find them beautiful too?'
'no, I don't.'
'omg! I have a dog! are you trying to say that Tama is ugly?'
'isn't that a cat name? anyways, no, I just don't like dogs, not saying they are ugly!'
'yea, of course.
mine is the most beautiful!'
'sure, sure...
anyways, you seem more outgoing when texting, don't you?'
'yea, but only with people I trust, and no I'm everything but not outgoing!'
'oh, that's ok.
I'm totally the opposite.'
'it doesn't matter that much!'
'wanna meet after lunch at school next to the park?'
'sure, I don't have homework.'
'ok, see ya tomorrow.'
'goodnight, uenoyama-kun.'
'already goodnight???
anyways, bye.'
We didn't text that much, but even if I don't know him since so long I found in him something good.
He's pure and totally honest, the only thing is that I don't really know how to approach with introvert people, but it seems he already trusts me!
I saw some episodes of my favorite tv show, and only at the fifth I saw on the clock that it was already midnight.
I didn't care, I couldn't sleep again.
I went on Spotify and saw four more listeners.
Maybe they were Mafuyu's friends.
Wait, does he has friends?
Or maybe just Mafuyu's four different accounts.
I think it's the second one, totally!
I just fell asleep while listening at my brand new piece.
There was a lot to work on, with my band too, but I just listen to it because...
I want too, ok?
I don't have to explain everything.
I always fall asleep while listening to my music, our music.
It has always been me and music, it makes me so happy.
Always, forever.
Music makes me sad, angry.
But, at the same time it makes me happy, it makes me go through all my problems and difficulties, it makes my life better.
;'Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter (fighter)
'Cause all my life, I've been fighting
Never felt a feeling of comfort, oh
And all this time, I've been hiding
And I never had someone to call my own, oh nah
I'm so used to sharing
Love only left me alone
But I'm at one with the silence
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long
I've been quiet for too long
I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long
I'm in need of a savior (savior), but I'm not asking for favors
My whole life, I've felt like a burden
I think too much, and I hate it
I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring
Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long
I've been quiet for too long
I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long';