The notion of time was lost when it came to being together with such an interesting person as Marcia Clark, so I was surprised when it was one o'clock in the morning and because of the wine I had drunk only for the purpose of conviviality, I was already beginning to feel sleepy, yet wide conscious.
"It would be unwise to go out at this hour," she implied, observing the wristwatch she always carried with her. I wondered if she bought it because it was on sale at a shop nearby, if a loved one gave it to her, or if it was a family heirloom.
"That watch, how did you get it?" I ignored what she had said earlier, almost making it clear that I could indeed sleep at her house and I would love that.
She glanced at it once more, "it was my grandmother's. An anniversary present from my grandfather," she replied, "when she died, she left her necklace to my mother and she left me her watch. I've worn it ever since."
"It's beautiful, a very special way to remind you that she will always be with you."
"May I ask, your mother... did she leave you anything?" She asked so delicately that I even snorted with amusement.
"It's okay," I placed my hand on top of hers, "it's not like we've had time to say goodbye, like for her to tell me, 'keep this,' but I know she loved to cook, especially the recipes in a book she bought at a book fair. In a way, I feel close to her every time I make one of those recipes, so that might be something she left me."
Unconsciously, I had started to look down to play with my fingers, I wouldn't have noticed it except that Marcia took one of my hands and with the other, she took my chin to make me look up at her. Her lips were quivering and not to mention those beautiful eyes that were taking on a watery consistency.
"It's beautiful too," she whispered, this time taking my face in both hands, "I promise you that, before you know it, you'll be at peace at home, forgetting all about this bitter situation."
"And will I still hear from you then? Will I be able to come here and have these late night conversations with you?" I asked, stroking her wrists with my thumbs, refusing to take my eyes off hers for a second.
"Of course. If you decide you want to keep seeing me, I'd be happy to host you here."
"Now that I've met you, I feel like I never want to let you go," I confessed.
"Please, if you don't want this, you can walk away," she whispered.
"Want what...?"
Before I could think of how and when, she approached so suddenly, her lips were already against mine. I was so happy and yet so confused, with so many doubts swirling around in my mind that I was forced to block them out, and instead, let myself be carried away by the experience of finally fulfilling a desire I had from the first time I saw this wonderful woman.
It was a matter of seconds before I reciprocated, melting at the lusciousness of her mouth, which was beginning to crave more depth. Her tongue began to brush my lower lip, and she didn't have to insist long before I gladly allowed her to do her bidding.
Our breaths began to intensify over the course of a minute or two, so she slowly pulled away. I was afraid that she would have a regretful expression and later tell me that it was a mistake she would never make again, but I felt much calmer when I was met with that beautiful smile.
"It's late, how about we go to sleep and tomorrow I'll drop you off at your work?" She proposed, offering me her hand, which I happily accepted.
We walked to her room, and once we entered, I could better appreciate the space. Her bed was neatly made up, her bedside table was perfectly arranged with only a lamp, a book, a cigarette box and a lighter. If I were shown that room, I could easily deduce that it belonged to Marcia Clark, I couldn't imagine it belonging to anyone else.
Before we went to sleep, she lent me some pajama trousers and a new toothbrush, and after we went through our nightly routines, we got inside the bed.
It was one of the happiest and most peaceful nights of my life, I've probably mentioned her magnificent smell enough but the experience of feeling it as she held me in her arms, both of us clinging to each other as if we feared it would be a dream when we woke up, was incomparable.
Her alarm went off at four thirty in the morning, and if it weren't for the fact that I was used to mine, which was just as deafening, I would have jumped out of bed with fright. What surprised me was that it was too early, it felt like I had closed my eyes a second ago. I still wanted to be with her, for longer, all day, all eternity.
"Mmmm... don't go," I protested as I felt the older woman move, weakly grabbing her waist.
"You sleep, I have to bathe, dress and make breakfast," she kissed my forehead, however, I was quick enough to tug on the back of her neck and kiss her lips before she moved too far away. I could feel her smile.
"Wake me up when you're done getting ready, we'll make breakfast together," I asked.
"It's a deal. Good morning, by the way," she replied.
"Good morning," I replied.
Finally, she got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. After about forty minutes, I heard her voice close to me.
"Time to make breakfast," she whispered with great sweetness, "get up, gorgeous."
"Wow, that was fast," I observed after opening my eyes to find Marcia completely dressed up as I used to see her, "you look wonderful."
She blushed, and I took advantage of the leaning position she was in to kiss her lips once more. I felt her soften slightly. It was known that every time she got up, she already had a thousand things going on in her head and that made her tense most of the time. I loved learning that with one kiss, I could make it all go away, at least for a second.
"Could you wake Travis up? He knows his routine," she asked, and I nodded.
Afterwards, I got out of bed and stretched a bit. I must admit I was so tired, at this hour I was still sound asleep, but I wouldn't change the experience of sharing with the woman of my dreams for anything.
I walked towards what I deduced was Travis and Kyle's room. The younger one was in the bottom bed, cuddling a stuffed dinosaur, and the older one was in the top bed. It didn't take much more than, "hey, Travis, it's time to wake up" for him to slowly open his eyes.
"(Y/N)! Are you still here?" He asked, looking excited and confused at the same time.
"Yeah, yesterday your mom and I talked so much that she told me to sleep over," I explained, and unconsciously smiled, remembering the first kiss Marcia and I had.
"That's cool," he replied simply, rubbing his eyes a little.
Once I made sure Travis was fully awake, I left the room and headed downstairs, already hearing the noise coming from there. The brown-haired woman was getting everything ready to cook, and judging by what was on the kitchen counter, I knew she wanted to make Waffles.
"If you put blueberry or chocolate chips in them, they're delicious," I said, once I got close enough to her.
"It's been so long since I don't make their favorite breakfast, but I don't always get them right. The machine is complicated to use."
"Try to make sure you don't overdo it with the mixture when you put it on it, or it will spill over and be very difficult," I advised her, "do you have any music players around here? I need music to cook properly."
"I do have a CD player, because I can't cook properly either if I don't have music," she confirmed, and turned to a corner of the kitchen where indeed there was a CD player plugged in, "I was listening to 'The Other Side Of The Mirror' last time, would you like that for cooking?"
"I'm so jealous! I haven't found a vinyl of that Stevie album. It's so good and underrated," I exclaimed.
I remember going to look for that vinyl in every shop I knew in town, even taking the risk of going further than I was used to. I was unsuccessful in any attempt, as they were out of stock. I had to settle for the cassette and resign myself to never finding it in that format.
"I also have the vinyl. I reserved a copy a few days before it came out," she replied, pressing play so that the music could begin to make itself present, "I can give it to you if you want."
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly accept it," I refused. She was lucky to have it and I know too well how difficult it is to get it now.
"Come on! I only use the CD, besides, you're so cute I can't resist you," with her finger, she touched the tip of my nose and then kissed my forehead.
I wanted to ask her, how did this happen? I thought she was a crush with whom it was extremely impossible to have a chance. Was it the first time she saw me that she also felt that indescribable feeling? Was it as the days went by? Did she also think of me as I thought of her? Or what was it that made her realize about that attraction? I knew I had to turn off my brain, put the questions aside and let myself enjoy the present. She felt the same way and that was all I needed to know.
"Thank you very much, I appreciate that gesture," I smiled sincerely.
We both proceeded to prepare breakfast. It took longer than expected because we were distracted by singing or dancing awkwardly around the kitchen, but it seemed that for the first time, Marcia cared very little about the strict morning schedule she had to follow, because she enjoyed this little moment we had.
"They are perfect, now I know how to make them correctly," she commented once we had arranged the table and placed the food with the respective toppings to go with it.
Footsteps began to approach, and I knew they came from Travis. I was surprised to find that he did indeed knew his routine. Of course, his poor mother couldn't be nagging him about anything, so he had to learn to do things on his own.
"Good morning, mommy. Good morning, (Y/N)," he greeted us both.
"Good morning," we responded in unison.
He walked over to the table and adopted an excited expression when he saw the Waffles in front of him. He took a bite of the chopped strawberries in the centre along with maple syrup.
"Wow, this is delicious," he commented, his mouth half full.
"I'm so glad, my love. We made it together," Marcia replied, passing him a napkin to wipe his chin, which had become a little syrup-stained.
We were in the almost done with breakfast when someone rang the doorbell, and the older woman got up from her seat and went to answer it. It was the babysitter.
"Good morning, Miss Clark," she greeted her in a neutral but polite tone.
"Good morning, come in," she reciprocated.
"May I use your television?" She asked.
"Sure, but keep the volume down," that's when I knew that authoritative and indifferent tone was a thing of the past when it came to addressing me. It even seemed strange to hear it again.
Marcia walked back to the table and continued eating, took the last two bites and I picked up her plate to place it in the dishwasher.
"Do you want more?" I offered, and she shook her head.
"I'll go brush my teeth," she responded.
I finished the last bite of my meal and picked up my plate, as well as Travis', who had also finished. He went to brush his teeth and I went to get my sweater from the dryer, then went to Marcia's room to put on the jeans I had worn yesterday along with my shoes. A little while after I finished changing, I ran into Marcia once she came out of the bathroom, her lipstick was touched up.
"That color suits you," I told her.
"Oh you're a charm," she smiled genuinely, "I'll wait for you in the living room."
I walked to the sink and brushed my teeth. When I met Travis and Marcia, she said goodbye to the babysitter and asked her to give Kyle the waffles once he woke up. First we went to the boy's school, who said goodbye to us nicely, and after we got through the ever-present traffic, we were at my work. It was only 6:30AM and I normally came in at 9:00AM, but working a few extra hours would be good for me.
"Thanks for dropping me off," I said once we were in front of the local.
"I'll drop you off at the entrance, come on," she removed her seatbelt and as we both got out of the car, I walked in next to her.
"Just who I wanted to see, when were you going to explain to me that you were accused of the murder of one of the most important businessmen in the country?" That was the first thing my boss said to me as soon as he saw me, "is this why you have been so upset lately? Is this why you have been asking me for so many permissions of absence?"
My blood ran cold for a second, how the fuck was he supposed to know? The only one who knew besides Marcia was Stefan and I trusted him enough to be certain he'd never breathe a word.
"No one knows, because it could lead to misunderstandings," I explained.
He showed me the newspaper, the front page was a picture of me together with a text implying that I was the prime suspect.
Before I could react, Marcia snatched it out of his hands, "this is stupid. (Y/N) didn't do it, and is not even the prime suspect, given that there are eight so far. Don't be guided by misinformation."
I could only watch my boss, his expression of disappointment as he looked at me as if I was the most aberrant person in the world. It was true that such an ugly death shocked many, as everyone had him on a pedestal because of that image of a charismatic and hard-working man he tried so hard to maintain, but it only took a little digging to realize what was behind him and his damn company: mistreatment, exploitation, inequality, harassment and injustice.
"Miss Clark is right, we should not believe a newspaper that profits from morbidity if we know exactly what kind of person (Y/N) is," Stefan interjected.
"The truth is I have to fire you. It says in this article that you work here and I can't risk the reputation of this business by having you as an employee," he said, and that snapped me out of my trance so I could speak.
"No! Please! I need this job, you know I don't have anyone and I need to pay my rent and my food, I promise you that in a week no one will remember, please!" I insisted, feeling everything in me throbbing a mile a minute, and my breath starting to come in short gasps.
"I'm sorry, it's a decision I made. I hope everything turns out well, if you didn't do it."
"Then I quit," Stefan stepped out from the counter and took off his dressing gown.
"Don't be stupid. I'll find another job," I countered, very shocked at the tall boy's attitude.
"So will I," he folded his arms, "there's no point in working here if it's not with you, plus it's pretty fucked up to leave someone adrift just because of a false accusation they received, so let's get the hell out of here." He took me by the hand and led me out.
"I must say I admire you, kid, but you better have another employment option if your job is indispensable," Marcia spoke up, pointing her finger at him, "wow, the media isn't supposed to have any information about this case. Someone leaked all this."
"That doesn't matter, surely it was that bitch Phyllis who wants to hurt me with that stupid statement and now with the media thing, surely she also accused me of murdering him. Now, my friend and I are unemployed because of me," instinctively, I hugged Marcia and just by feeling the warmth of her arms, I was able to let it all out properly. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. My best friend tried to rub my shoulder to comfort me, and the older woman kept telling me over and over again that everything would be okay, and that none of this was my fault.
I knew it was my fault, no matter how much I deceived the people around me, and how much I prepared myself to do it, I knew the truth and the truth was that I killed him.
Maybe it was a big coincidence that my father's wife detested me enough to harm me in every way possible, maybe she wasn't even entirely sure if I killed that man, but she considered me the result of a little slip up her husband had during their separation and really, I wasn't to blame for what happened between them.
It all made sense now. There was no way this murder could be pointed at me if I spent so many months calm and peaceful thanks to my calculations and planning. There was no way Phyllis could have known of my existence either, I could imagine that she had only recently found something that made her realize her ex-husband was my father, and she just had to put it all together.