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ᴊᴀʟᴀɴɪ ꜱᴍɪᴛʜ 12:59 🌃
i moved around in the bed searching for comfort again as tyshawn phone went off and on for mfn ever. he was still sleep, snoring and all.
he been acting weird lately so i did what any curious partner would do, go through his phone :)
i gently pulled his phone off the nightstand and unplugged it from the charger. i put in his code and it was his birthday obviously so i clicked the notification.
it was from sb in his phone as, " shayla" and scrolled through the messages seeing all kinds of shit. i almost killed him when i checked his call log and she was at the top, i was sleep last time they called so i called her and put it on speaker, as it rang i took time and threw a shoe at tj to wake him up.
he immediately woke up rubbing his cheek.
"ah shit, what the fuck bro" he said confused as the call connected.
"hey baby wassup" the girl said. when he finally caught onto what happened his eyes widened.
"hi! shayla is it? well i have tj here who is a liar and a fucking cheater and just wanna say, he's been fucking you on the side! keeping you as a side bitch and bragging about it to his friends. i want you, after i hang up to go think about how that feels. a worthless side bitch. and i know you know about me so toodles!" i said hanging up throwing the phone at tj's forehead.
i stormed out of the room and grabbed my bag from the closet and put my clothes in there. i ignored tj as he tried to apologize as i packed my things. i went in the bathroom and put my toothbrush and a box of tampons in the bag.
i put my bonnet on, zipped up my hoodie then put on my sneakers and grabbed my car keys off the coffee table.
"JALANI LISTEN TO ME!" tj yelled.
i rolled my eyes and turned back around then said, "im listening"
"look baby, i met her at a party one night.. she caught me off guard at a bad time and got my number"
"i understand it happening once but it happened again! and again! with different bitches too so if i'm being real wit you, jus except the fact that i'm moving on from you" i said walking away and leaving the house.
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i started up the car and drove to rochester, since we were in buffalo it was a short drive. i drove to this nice luxury hotel for the night. i had tj's credit card so i checked in at the front desk.
i needed to clear my head and get my shit together.
i sat on the soft comforter ontop of the hotel bed and laid down. i kicked my shoes off and reached in my bag for a lighter and blunt.
as i flicked the lighter a tear fell down the side of my cheek. not because i got cheated on, because i knew no matter what he did... i would still go back.
i put the blunt up to my mouth and smoked. i glanced at the bottle of pills in my bag.
i can't do it.. not again..
𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊
i opened my eyes squinting from the light. the only thing on my mind was doing it again.. for that rush. for that feel. i didn't care about what everyone else wanted for me. all i saw was that bottle and my nose behind it.
i got up from my bed and looked around at the tornado on my floor. i nearly fell trying to get to my desk.
i had a shaky hand still and opened the pill bottle dumping out the last 2..
i took my makeup brush and covered the pill with a dollar bill then crushed it into a powder.
i smudged it into a line and sniffed it then fell back onto the floor as the drugs started sinking in my body.
the rush of eurphoria i get when i do it fills that hole inside of me..
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"IZAAK! SHE'S UNCONSCIOUS! I THINK SHE OVERDOSED" my mom yelled. "my poor poor angel child" she said kissing inbetween my forehead. i flinched from the light again as she reached for my face.
"mommy.. i'm sorry" i said as i started crying.
i apologized because.. i wanted to do it again.
"oh babygirl it's not your fault, we're gonna take you to the hospital and your gonna feel better" she said pulling me in for a hug as the nurses and doctors rushed in my room. they put me on a stretcher and i blacked out..
𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑
i can't do that to my mom again.. she may not be here but i just can't..
i stood up and flushed the pills down the toilet..
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ 🌅
i took a nice steamy hot shower to soak off all the stress and anger i had built up.
while in the shower i took time to think about what i was gonna do. i knew i would be alright on my own but i still needed a thought out plan.
i turned off the water and stepped out and wrapped the towel around my body.
i was about to go see neveah to talk to her about what happened and to see if shes good.
"ROOM SEVICE!" i heard someone yell while knocking on the door.
"thank you" i said opening the door and wrapping the towel around me tightly. as i read down the receipt i felt like i was being stared at and i looked up then our eyes met.
was almost love at first sight.
"y-your welcome" the man stumbled out while fixing his glasses awkwardly.
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ᴋᴀᴍᴀʀɪᴏɴ ʜᴇɪɢʜᴛꜱ 🌅
shit i stuttered. fuck she probably hates me right now. i should try and start a conversation with her.
"so uh you drink wine?"
"yeah, i'm kinda going through something right now." she mumbled.
"well uh i get off ina hour if you'd like we could talk about it, i'm studying to be a therapist in college right now" shit im talking to much..
"oh really? that's impressive, whats your number i could call you over later?" she said handing me her phone.
literally the first time i've ever gave a girl my number and felt like she was gonna call me. she's so pretty. and her chubby arms are adorable. and her belly rolls you can see through the towel.
i handed her the phone back and smiled.
"kamarion? thats cute"
"t-thank you" i stuttered out once again.
"i'll call you later" she said as i stepped out the hotel room and nodded. i tried my hardest to keep my big ass smile on the inside.
"oh i'm jalani, nice meeting you kamarion" she said smiling as she shook my hand.
"nice meeting you too jalani" i said smiling back.
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ᴛʏꜱʜᴀᴡɴ "ᴛᴊ" ᴘᴏʀᴛᴇʀ
"wtf you mean she left??" legacy asked.
"bruh she packed a bag and left dude, ion think she coming back" savvy said as i rubbed my hands down my face.
"did you call her?" he asked.
"49 times since she left, no answer" i said getting annoyed with the questions.
"why are yall surprised she isn't calling him back? he fucking cheated" savvy said laughing and opening a bag of chips.
"well savvy what do you want us to do now with that useless fucking information" i said sarcastically.
"dont be mad at me" he said throwing his hands up in defense.
"turn the phone to tj" neveah asked legacy. "hi tj" she said in a calming way giving me a sigh of relief. "HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND-" she started yelling more but the hospital wifi started glitching on her part so she was going in and out.
"how you getting yelled at by bedrest ass neveah through the phone man" savvy said laughing harder.
"man fuck this" i said standing up and leaving to get in the car.
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