Welcome to wattpad didnt save my draft & i was too lazy to rewrite half a chapter so i'll just write this
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Kenneth's p.o.v.
I was sitting on my couch, eating frootloops and watching YourmomTube on my phone until i heard a knock on my door. I walked over to the door and opened it just a crack. I then peered out to see what looked to be a circus performer, with spiky green hair, and clown makeup. A loud voice emitted from the outside.
"Well hello! I have come here to ask you if i could perhaps stay here the night? I know you have no idea whom the fuck I am, but i really need somewhere to stay for a lil while and i have barely any money." I opened the door a little wider to see the figure a little better, and poked my head out.
"Ah! If it isn't the person who broadcasted over national tv, with hypnotising colorbars! I'm quite honored to be in the presence of you, and now it seems more awkward to be asking such a favour. " She kept her confidence high.
"Hello, please go the fuck away and leave me alone." I then slammed the door in her face and walked back to my couch. Ten minutes later, here was banging on my window.
"I apologise, but it seems you're my last chance. The rest of the neighborhood wouldnt let me stay a mere night, and you've been the kindest to me yet! Could you possibly think it over juuust a lil bit? I could help with stuff!" She was quite persistant, but theres no way I'm going to let another goddamn person in my house.
I got up and got the bug spray can. She was still rambling on and on about how she could help with shit, be loyal, and whatever else she might think I was interested in. I opened the window a tad bit and sprayed bug spray in her face. Before she could react, i closed the window and put the blinds down.
30 minutes later, i heard walking coming from my kitchen. I grabed my bug spray and box cutter and headed straight for it. She got in my goddamn house.
"A nice place ya got here! Just needs a lil tidying up, and it'll be good as new!"
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE?!" I yelled at her, but she didnt falter.
"You see, i used a giant hammer, and BOOM! There was a whole in your wall i could easily get through. Also, could ya not yell? Jeez, its almost like i broke into your house."
"You- You put a fucking hole in my wall?! Can't you find somewhere else to park your shit?! I clearly said i did not want you in my house. " i was super pissed. I clutched my box cutter that remained in my hand tightly.
"Oh cheer up, fruity cact-"
I pushed her up against the wall with the boxcutter's edge to her throat. "Wanna finish that goddamn sentence? If you want to, I'd be willing to plunge this motherfucker riiiight into your neck." She was speachless. She looked at me with fear in her eyes, starting to tear up. " Now get the fuck out of my house. Understand? I'll give you FIVE SECONDS to get out, starting now. 1... 2... 3..." she was gone before i could count anymore. The only problem was, she took all the food in my goddamn fridge. WHY?!
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588 words