Harry's POV
The sound of pots and pans clanking together woke me up abruptly, causing me to shoot upright out of bed. I held my hand up to my chest to allow myself to bring me back to my awakened reality. My heart hammered hard against my hand as I pressed firmly against it. Part of the anxiety was from the dream I was interrupted from. It was hard to remember the specifics, but I remembered being a kid and terrified. There wasn't much out of the ordinary going on around, but something in my body felt inconsolable.
I looked over to my side where Brin laid, still as passed out as she was beforehand. I had no idea how she slept through some of the things she did, but then woke up so easily for something else. She was one of the most confusing people I had ever met.
Her mouth was slightly agape as heavy breaths were inhaled and exhaled. She looked so peaceful, I couldn't lie. If I could just let her sleep there for as long as she wanted to, I would have. But, time was always ticking and I knew we needed to head out as soon as we could.
It didn't help when my eyes started to venture farther than I meant for them to, scanning down her soft shoulders. The blanket tucked just underneath her arms, but it didn't hide the bit of lacey fabric that exposed itself above it. The same fabric that I had watched her trail down her body to pile down at her feet.
I guessed at some point last night she got too hot and mindlessly threw off her shirt to the side. I doubt she would have done that on purpose, although I kind of wish she would have. Because, to be honest, I couldn't get the night before out of my head. The way her eyes shifted around my body, dancing around like she couldn't help it. She was like putty in my hands and I didn't even touch her. I didn't have to, but God did I know she wanted to. I wanted to, too. Painfully bad. Her soft whimpers and whines could lull me to sleep any night if she would just let me.
I shook my head, not realizing how off track my thoughts had gotten from the sight of her. I blinked my eyes hard, feeling slightly guilty that I was staring at her while she was asleep with thoughts like that running through my mind. That and the fact I didn't want to rile myself up this early in the morning.
It wasn't like it would have been the first time.
But, who could blame me? Was she annoying? Yes, definitely. Was she a lot at times? Yes, definitely. Was it hard not to stare sometimes? Yes. Definitely.
I never really noticed how attractive she was when we first met. I was too clouded with annoyance over the fact that I had to protect some ditzy, naïve girl, because I had too big of a heart to let her die. Either that or I was just that stupid.
Regardless, that didn't change that she was still annoying. Even if I didn't regret it after all—at least not as bad as before. Although, I would never tell her that.
But I still had to make sure she was protected, which meant I also had to make sure Alayna was protected, too.
Ever since we got here I had this weird feeling in my stomach. I didn't want to say I doubted anything, but I couldn't help it. It was hard to describe, but something just seemed off. I wanted to play it off as just not knowing these people personally or how they normally acted, but things weren't making sense. Why would Alayna leave and have Brin do this runaround for her like this?
Maybe it wasn't this black and white of a situation. Maybe it had more to do with Alayna's age and similar sheltered upbringing. Still, it was hard for me to imagine not waiting at least a little to make sure my loved one was okay and would come to find me.
I was willing to be wrong, though, and I sure hoped to be wrong. I just needed to be extra cautious about everything—especially this so-called civilian town that her uncle was talking about. Not that I typically ventured further out in the city, but I had never heard of anything like that before. How could that be safe at all?
I needed to make sure I asked him before we left. I couldn't ask too many questions, because I didn't want to run the risk of Brin picking up on any of my doubts. I was going to play it cool for as long as I needed to. I would give Brin a little talking to just so that she could expect anything, but without the cloud of doubt that I was experiencing alongside it.
But none of this could be possible if I didn't wake her up first.
I looked at her one more time, trying to gauge how I was going to wake her up. Normally I wasn't asleep this near to her, so I would go about my morning and wait until she stirred. She did have a tendency to sleep in longer than she should, so sometimes I would make a little extra noise in hopes that that was the boost she needed. It was hard for me to break her from that peaceful look she always had while asleep, but it had to be done.
"Hey," I whispered towards her. Her eyes didn't even flutter nor did her body even shift. I furrowed my eyebrows at her in thought. My hand raised just above her shoulder, slowly edging it down in order to tap her.
"I'm awake, Harry," she said through her shut eyes in a grumble. I retracted my hand back to my side of the bed, slightly stunned. Was she awake that whole time? Was she always awake when I thought she was asleep?
"Awake but deaf then?" I replied with a sarcastic undertone.
She opened an eye at me, squinting slightly from the sunlight peeking in through the wood and the blinds. Her face was squished against the pillow, only furthering the smushed expression on her face. She didn't say anything, but just continued to peer at me. A smile broke from her lips and one of my own threatened to peek through, and I looked away quickly, pushing the covers off of my body.
"Let's get your ass up then," I said as I climbed out of bed.
Another dish knocking against a pan made my attention shoot to the direction of the noise. I pointed a thumb behind me towards the door.
"Is he cooking us breakfast?"
She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes. "Probably, it's what he would always do when me and my mom would visit." She looked around the room, as if reminiscing on the memories she had collected from her childhood visits. Another small smile etched onto her face before she quickly flung the sheets off herself and stood up.
She grabbed her shirt off the floor, pulling it over her body in one swift motion. Even with the fabric now hiding her torso, it was hard for me not to imagine herself still without it. The details of the bra that she was just in laid permanently etched in my brain. I swore I could draw it just from pure memory.
"What?" She playfully said as she lightly bumped past my shoulder. I spun around, but she had already gone out the door.
I turned on my heel quickly. I swore she was swaying her hips in that way on purpose. Her tone said everything that she didn't have to say out loud—laced with that cocky arrogance that always put me for a whirl when she acted that way towards me. It was so slight, but so noticeable at the same time. It made my dick twitch just from the small gesture. She would never admit it, but she was such a tease.
But I liked it.
She was my tease to catch.
My fantasies didn't last long when she suddenly stopped at the top of the steps. She looked down, almost like she was hesitant and turned her head back around to me.
"You mind if I go down first? I haven't talked to him about mom yet. I don't know if he knows," she said softly. Her voice was almost so faint that I couldn't hear it over the noises coming from downstairs.
It didn't even dawn on me until then. Did he not know about his sister passing away? I wasn't sure how close they were anymore, but that news couldn't be easy regardless.
I nodded my head, "Yeah, 'course. I'll be in the room until then."
She flashed a soft, grateful smile with a curt head nod. She turned back around, inhaling a deep breath before starting her descent.
I hated that Brin had to deliver the news herself, but maybe having another family member who knew her mom could grant her some kind of peace with it, too. I would have loved to have someone that understood what I was going through after what happened to mine.
Maybe Alayna had already told him when she stopped by, but by the way he hadn't mentioned anything when we first saw him, I didn't think that was the case. Maybe she didn't want to upset him, or maybe it was still too fresh to talk about it herself.
I kept the door open, not to be nosey, but to make sure that everyone was okay. I wasn't exactly sure what I was keeping an ear out for or what I would do if I did hear something, but it felt like the right thing to do. I would figure it out if the time came.
I walked around the perimeter of the room, examining the picture frames and other decorative pieces around the space. A couple old stuffed animals sat upright on one of the dressers, staring down intently at me. They were watching me as if they were their own security system, waiting for me to make one wrong move and send me down to my death. I wouldn't be surprised if lasers started shooting through their eyes at any moment.
The more time ticked, the more antsy I grew. I wasn't exactly sure of what time it was, but guessing by the position of the sun outside of the window, I would have guessed about nine or ten in the morning. Luckily, we still had plenty of time to get on the road and into Denver, but the daytime hours always felt like a threat—ready to work against us at any moment. I never really knew what to expect.
I didn't realize I had started to doze off until the creaking of footsteps woke me up. My hand had grown numb from the awkward angle it was in to prop my head up. I didn't even remember laying down. As the noises grew closer, I quickly looked back out the window. It couldn't have been more than an hour and a breath of relief blew past my lips.
Brin's figure appeared in the doorway. I sat up from the bed, running a hand through my hair. She smiled softly, but I could see the faintest shade of red rimmed around her eyes. I tried not to stare, but it was hard. I didn't like to see her like that, but I was glad that she was smiling now at least. Even if it was just for show.
"Everything good?" I asked.
She nodded her head, "Yeah. You hungry?"
I assumed she didn't want me to press any further on the topic given her sudden change of topic, so I followed along.
"Starving actually."
She smiled again, exposing a little crinkle by her eyes for a brief second. "Let's get your ass up then."
She spun around back out the door. I knew she was trying to hide fact she was pleased with her mocking. She always turned away and hid herself a second too late, allowing me the ability to see the beginning moments of her lips curling. It was amusing. I liked that I did that to her.
I shut the door behind me as she walked ahead, leading me down the staircase. I could smell it much clearer now that I wasn't in the bedroom and it made my stomach rumble almost instantaneously. I could still hear dishes clanking together. It reminded me of being a kid, when nothing really mattered. Crawlers didn't exist and mom would make us a nice breakfast on Sunday mornings. We didn't attend church, but she always said we didn't need to in order to experience a nice Sunday morning like everyone else.
"Well good morning to the sleeping beauty," Brin's uncle greeted as we made our way down the stairs.
He was vigorously multitasking a variety of things. He was brewing tea in a pot of boiling water, cooking meat patties, and dicing up fruit all at the same time. I was overwhelmed just watching him. I was just glad to see that he didn't seem overly upset. Maybe he did already know?
"Good morning," we both said at the same time. Brin's eyes softened as she smiled at him, immediately walking to his side in order to offer a hand. I watched as they worked alongside each other, in their own side conversation as they did so.
A weird fuzzy feeling began to briefly run through my stomach, but it was just as quickly replaced with a more gut-wrenching discomfort. It made me miss having family too, even if distant. It was hard to remember that I truly had no one left, not even distant members that I hadn't seen in years.
Everyone was gone.
Brin's laugh caused my eyes to wander back over to her, not realizing I had yet to move from my dazed state. I quickly ran a hand through my hair and walked over towards the pair.
"Need my help with anything?" I offered. I was silently hoping they didn't—I was enjoying being a bystander as they enjoyed their time together.
It was nice to watch them have fun. I had a tendency to get too wrapped up in survival mode that I would often forget to live when I had the chance. The truth was, I never thought I had a chance until the moments were already over. Living to survive had eaten away at my ability to have fun because of the constant reminder that death was looming over me.
I had noticed the reminders had begun to dim mildly as I had someone to accompany me now. Though, no matter how hard I tried I never could quite get rid of that cloud following close behind. No matter if I was alone or not. It was always there.
"Just about done, actually. You could get some plates for everyone up there. You're tall enough I imagine," he joked. They both exchanged a small laugh between the two, as if there was an extra inside joke somewhere in the midst of it that I was missing. I tried not to be too bothered by it, even if I was slightly concerned I was being made fun of in some unspoken way.
I set out the mismatched plates onto the table, briefly looking up towards the two of them. Brin looked so focused; her eyebrows were scrunched and she bit against her bottom lip as she carefully sliced the last of the fruit.
It didn't take long to get the table set up, so I pretended to be busier than I was as I waited for them to turn around with the platters. It didn't take much longer for them to finish up, exposing the fresh food in their hands.
This definitely beat any form of Spam and corn that I ever had. I almost didn't want to touch it, too scared that the moment would be gone before I could appreciate it fully. Who knew when I would have a chance to eat something like this again?
Maybe that civilian town could offer similar homestyle-cookings. I could smell the large portions of food being cooked now in their imaginary pots that were bigger than the people they were feeding. Stews, soups, and other freshly brewed broths. This daydreaming of food reminded me exactly what I needed to discuss about, but in the best subtle way I could manage. I also needed to remind myself not to overwhelm myself with too many false pretenses. No one actually knew what it was like yet—which was why I needed to figure out what I could first.
"So," I cleared my throat as I grabbed the heavy platter from Brin's hands. I looked over towards Dan while I walked back to the table, "What all do you know about this civilian town?"
I placed the food down and watched it carefully. It was almost entrancing to see something so fresh and normal in this day and age. He must have caught and prepared this meat himself, including the fruits set out as well.
Uncle Dan chuckled to himself as he took a seat, "Well—Not much. I have passersby every now and again who say they're on their way there. They never seem to know much either besides word of mouth."
"And they just go without knowing much?" I butted in. Brin looked up at me reactively, but she didn't look upset. She actually looked over to her uncle to see what he had to say in response.
He shrugged his shoulders as he cut his sausage up, shoving a piece into his mouth. "People get desperate I suppose."
I hummed to myself, diving into my own plate. Maybe I was overthinking it, but it didn't help the nerves about the situation regardless. It sounded like it had to be a big commune given all the people that seemed to head there.
Did they just accept anyone then? How would they know people they accepted were safe? Would we even get accepted to come in?
I let those questions stay nestled in my head for safe keeping. It seemed like he truly didn't have many answers, or at least answers I was interested in. Guess we were going to have to find out our own answers by ourselves.
The thought of being around that many strangers at once made my head hurt. It was much easier to be alert when I didn't expect anyone to be around. Little noises were always a warning, but this place wouldn't give me the luxury of being as alert as other places I was used to. It was hard enough getting used to Brin being beside me all the time. Sometimes even her footsteps shook me out of the blue, almost forgetting she was supposed to be there.
Hopefully they had good security. They had to be doing well enough if they were actively accepting all these people like they seemed to be anyway.
"You okay?" I heard Brin whisper to me. I looked up from my plate, a piece of fruit pierced through the fork as it sat dormant in the same position it was originally in for the past minute or two. I plopped it into my mouth and nodded my head.
"Yeah. My bad. I'm good," I reassured. Dan had ventured back into the kitchen as he filled up mugs of tea. Surprisingly, he had already finished his plate and set it into the sink as well. Meanwhile I had yet to make it through halfway of mine.
"We should head out soon," Brin said towards me. She still spoke lowly, probably so her uncle didn't hear and accidentally offend him. He had to understand that we couldn't stay long since Alayna was still out there somewhere.
I was glad that I didn't have to mention the time constraint to her and she recognized it herself. It made me feel less guilty from breaking her away from a family member that she hadn't seen in years. Maybe when we got Alayna back we would come back for an actual visit. That seemed nice.
Seemed like a normal thing to do. Right?
I also felt bad that he found out about his sister, only for his other family to leave immediately after the news. But maybe they weren't close considering his reaction. Or maybe he just wasn't a crier. Either way, we had to go regardless.
I quickly cleared my plate as Brin had ventured back towards her uncle's side to help clean. They used large jugs of water in various shaped containers to rinse off the dishes. The kitchen was small and, while I wanted to help, I knew I would be in the way if I tried.
It still felt rude not to offer.
"Need me to do anything?" I asked as I walked over with my plate in hand. Brin turned around, extending her hand out to grab it from me before swiftly submerging it into the water.
Dan wiped his hands onto his shirt as he turned around, pointing a finger upwards in thought. "Yes! How about you help me pack up your truck before you head out."
My eyebrows twitched in slight confusion as he walked past me. "Oh, we already have everything packed up. We didn't take anything out, but I appreciate—"
"For the trip up! I'm sure you have to be running low on some supplies and I have plenty. It's just me over here after all. I get most of my stuff from my garden and hunting anyway," he paused to laugh, "Always been a bit of a hoarder. Plus, it might be better if you have stuff to bargain with once you get up there."
Before I could reply to thank him, he already disappeared around the corner. I heard a door creak open and I looked in Brin's direction, hoping for some kind of reaction. She still remained as busy as before as she finished up the last dish.
"You coming?" I heard his voice echo. I peered around the corner as I wondered how he sounded so far away in such a short amount of time.
Around the corner, I saw the door he had just opened with light illuminating from the opening. When I got in front of it, I looked down to see a long set of stairs leading down to what I assumed to be the basement. A faint smell of mildew tickled against my nose the second I took a few steps down.
I could hear small grunts coming from below without actually seeing him.
"Well, don't strain yourself too much," I lightly joked under my breath as I reached the bottom. My head darted to each side as I tried to navigate through the dim lighting.
He had two old milk crates full of items as he tried to carry both of them himself. It looked like he could have snapped in two at any second.
I darted over to him, relieving him of the weight he was carrying and piling them onto myself. It wasn't so bad until I realized I was going to have to walk up the stairs with these things as well.
"Wait, before you go up, let me talk to you for a second. That alright?" Dan asked behind me. I could tell he was still slightly winded from the over exertion he put himself through moments ago. I took the opportunity to set the crates down on to the ground for a better plan. Maybe breaking it up into two trips up the steps would be better anyway.
"Yeah," I replied and rested my back against the wall. My arms crossed against my chest as I watched him walk closer to me. He took a seat on an old desk that had collected an exuberant amount of dust over the years of neglect.
"So how did you meet Brinley?"
Ah. Here came the questions.
"Just crossed paths. Apparently neither of our cars wanted to make it to our destinations," I said with a small laugh.
"And where was that destination?" He asked without skipping a beat. I was mildly offended he didn't even break a faint grin from my joke.
I crinkled my eyebrows at him, not liking the feeling of being questioned like I did something wrong. Was it genetic to ask a million questions upon meeting someone? Flashbacks of the night I met Brin immediately ran through my brain and I had to fight back the urge to be annoyed.
"Was just getting supplies," I spoke firmly. I kept my arms crossed to my chest as I peered at him. He had a tight smile across his face now, mimicking a friendly expression but his words didn't match with it. I wasn't sure if it was purely protective towards Brin or to himself. I kind of understood—I was a stranger after all. He didn't have to trust me. I didn't have to trust him.
"You have anyone else you are—well, were taking care of?" He exhaled a breath as he leaned back on his arms. Maybe he realized how domineering he was coming across. It helped relax my annoyance slightly, but not by much.
"No. Just me."
He hummed and sat there for a moment before briskly pushing himself off the table and stood upright.
"Just want to make sure Brinley is in good hands," he smiled at me. I couldn't tell if this one was genuine or not, but it felt less tense than before at least. "You understand, right? I'm sure you've had to protect loved ones in the past."
The last sentence felt like a rope tightening around my neck, and my hand instinctively wanted to reach up and scratch at it.
In the past, yes, but I failed.
And where was he when Brin's family was struggling? When their mom was sick and they needed help?
I cleared my throat, flashing a half-hearted smile at him and reached down towards the milk crates at my feet. Nothing else was said as I headed towards the stairs with Dan close behind.
I decided against making a second trip just to speed up the process, and my body was taking the consequences of it. We reached the top of the stairs and I could already feel my arms start to strain from the abundance of weight added to the incline. My legs threatened to tremble as well, but I concealed it well enough.
I felt a hand rest on my shoulder right before I turned the corner. He had a softer expression on his face, almost remorseful.
"Just please take care of her—of both of them, okay? They're all I have left now." His voice strained to keep steady as he spoke. I nodded my head and he smiled back, patting my shoulder once more before letting me continue back to the kitchen.
The more I thought about it, it was a weird feeling that I was experiencing between him and I—but not totally for the reasons I initially thought. It was weird because it felt like being scolded by a date's father. The overprotective comments and stern looks—it made me feel almost normal? Is this what life could have felt like if Brin and I met under normal circumstances in a normal world?
It didn't matter. Getting wrapped up in hypotheticals would only drive me crazy anyway. We had her sister to save first. That was our main priority. Everything else would come afterwards.
Hopefully anyway.
I tried not to let the anxiety of daylight passing affect me too much as I watched them say their goodbyes to one another. I stayed off to the side as I watched them from my peripherals, pretending I was interested by whatever I could find around me. I had already wasted time by putting the crates in the back of the truck, as well as the jugs of gas that Dan had been gracious enough to lend us. But, then I ran out of things to keep busy with.
I also never really liked being around emotional people, so the whole situation was slightly uncomfortable regardless. Luckily, I only heard a couple sniffles before they both started walking towards my direction. I assumed it was finally time to go.
I dropped the wooden coaster I had found on one of the tables, looking up at the two. They both looked fairly normal besides that familiar shade of red that seemed to come up when they talked to each other. Dan looked a little more upset than Brin did, but I was starting to realize that Brin was also not much of a crier. I wondered if she had always been like that or if it was just for show. To be fair, I wasn't much of a crier either, so I couldn't judge. Crying always just felt so wrong, like I wasn't supposed to do it. It was too much of a distraction nowadays anyway.
"Make sure you guys come back and visit again, okay? You all always have a place here," Dan smiled as he rubbed Brin's shoulder.
"Of course," she said as she turned towards him, wrapping him up into one more hug.
I watched them as he squeezed her in tighter, as if he tried but failed to be closer to her. I could tell he didn't want to let go. If it was in his control, he probably would have easily let me go get Alayna so Brin could stay here with him while they waited. I knew Brin wouldn't allow it though, she needed to be there too. It was her sister afterall, and she made a promise—even if just to herself.
I swore I checked the car out at least three times all the way around before we left. While I did that, Dan and Brin worked on the map to make sure we would be heading in the right direction. It all finally started to feel so real. For some reason, even when we left the mall, at least for me, it didn't feel as real then. This felt like a solid plan of where to find Alayna. We knew for a fact that she was alive and made it to her uncle's house, and we even knew which direction she would have been heading. It wasn't even that far of a drive considering how far we had traveled already.
That was why it felt even more important to make sure we had enough supplies for ourselves and the truck before we left. We didn't need any disturbances on the way that would mess anything up. I made sure that all the weapons were packed securely and were easily accessible.
As we left, I quizzed Brin on what I had taught her days ago. I was relieved to find out that she retained most of everything that I had told her about aiming, loading, and positioning herself. It was more than I expected if I was being honest.
I think the cockiness from surprising me with her memory got to her head too much, because then she had the audacity to start testing me over her own bullshit quiz.
"And what are you going to do if these people aren't friendly?" She asked, eyeing me from the side.
"Beat their fucking ass."
"Okay—Wrong."
I rolled my eyes, my lip twitching into a curl. I couldn't tell if she thought I was being serious or not, but given the stern look that I was fighting contact with, I didn't think she found it as amusing as I did regardless.
Not that I was really joking all that much anyway.
"Sometimes you have to kiss people's asses every once in awhile. At least to get what you want," she said with a frown.
My face twisted with disgust. There weren't many strict standards I had for myself, but that was one of them. I was never an ass-kisser and I wasn't going to start now. Was it a pride thing? Probably, but I didn't care. It wasn't going to happen. I would rather die with my pride still intact than to live anyway.
"So I guess I'll be doing the talking then," she sighed back, "Which also means you keep your mouth shut."
She must have read my face given her quick response. Keeping my mouth shut was also going to be an issue when it came to people who were disrespectful, but at least that option was better than ass-kissing. So, silence it was.
"Fine," I huffed out as I ran a hand through my hair.
A look of contentment spread on her face as I looked over to my side in her direction. She busied her focus back down to her lap where the map laid. Her eyes scanned over the lines that we had drawn over and over again, whipping around from all the different trails we had gone through.
I couldn't help but glance at the original starting point at Brin's house in Oregon. It was marked with a small red "X" with other circled areas for the supply drops around it. It had never looked as bright as it did in that moment, almost as if to further remind me of how much had happened since we first left. It was where it all started—from the night that I was outside my shelter for the night, finding a random girl making as much noise as she could possibly make to now—here at her uncle's who I practically promised I would take care of her and her sister.
I remembered seeing her for the first time, I almost thought she was a Crawler herself. She wasn't actually making that much noise, but considering the consequences of any noise at all at that time of night, it was plenty. I was stupid enough to be outside at all, even if completely silent. I was awestruck that she had made it as far as she did because of it.
I even remembered considering the option of letting her figure things out herself, but it was as if there was a little voice in the back of my head telling me not to. I continued to watch her, trying to gauge what her next move was or if it would put me in danger too. All of that surveying went out the window when I realized what was near her—near us.
I knew what to do if it came near me, but I knew she didn't. I could tell, and I was right once I had actually gotten to know her more. It was almost instinctual the way that I wrapped my hand around her mouth, tightening my grip to suffocate any noise that threatened to spill out through the cracks of my fingers. Annoyance was all I felt on the surface. I could have just slipped back inside, gotten down to the basement, and properly secured myself in the same amount of time as it took to get her quiet.
And Christ did she have a mouth on her. So many questions. Nonstop.
I knew I was being an asshole when I met her, but she wasn't exactly the most pleasant of company to keep around at a time like that. Admittedly, it was actually kind of fun ruffling her feathers. That was probably the moment I realized that it may have not been as regrettable of a situation as I originally thought it was going to be. It was fun to watch her crinkle her eyebrows from annoyance when I gave her a reply that she wasn't expecting. She got flustered easily.
She still got flustered now, but the only difference was that now she got me flustered too.
It was a nice difference from what I was used to feeling before I met her. It was a distraction from the same life I had lived for this many years now, completely turned off to any and every emotion and connection. I avoided people when I could, spoke minimally to those I came across, and it always seemed to work out the way it was supposed to.
Some may have called me stupid for not sticking to that when I had the chance, and I wasn't sure if they would be right or not just yet. It was one thing that I was willing to figure out the answer to myself. If it was stupid, then that was fine. I could take accountability for that when the time came.
If I was going to die because of meeting her, then at least I wouldn't regret it. I had never felt so normal. I was so used to my bubble of anti-social surroundings, surviving wasn't the only thing on my mind anymore. I wasn't wasting away, completely engulfed by the idea that everyone and everything was out to get me. It reminded me that, while the world was completely different than before, there were always moments that could remind me of the humanity that still resided within it.
All we had to do was be willing to find it.
a/n: 50 reads away from 4k now omg?? i've said this a million times (and i'll say it a million more i'm sure) but thank you so much to everyone! i hope you guys like this chapter and i'm real excited to get this next update out... 👀