𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘥𝘦'𝘴 𝘗𝘖𝘝
Walking aimlessly through the rain that batters down on me, I find myself stood in front of a white door and I knock, shivering as I wrap my arms around my soaked form. The door swings opens to reveal an extremely concerned looking Rafe Cameron and I look up at him through my tears.
"I had nowhere else to go" I admit.
The boy gently pulls me inside and I am ushered past Wheezie who smiles at me widely, no doubt to try and cheer me up which I appreciate. Enveloped in a comfortable silence, Rafe gives me a pair of grey joggers and an orange sweatshirt to change into and I head into the bathroom.
I peel off my wet clothes and dry myself off with a towel before pulling on Rafe's clothes, putting the towel and my clothes into the laundry basket. I turn to the mirror and my heart drops in horror at the state I'm in. Dark streaks of mascara stain my cheeks, my eyes are bloodshot, my lips are bitten raw, my face is unusually pale, the bags under my eyes are near enough black and my damp hair is a tangled mess.
A pathetic sob escapes my lips and I cover my face with my hands in shame, not wanting to look at myself anymore.
I haven't taken so much as a pill since my overdose and I can already feel the insatiable itch growing under my skin. My bones ache in the most unpleasant way possible and the throbbing pain in my skull makes me feel nauseous. The walls feel like they're closing in on me and I start to hyperventilate, my breathing shaky. I barely even process my surroundings as I slide down the cabinet doors, my knees hitting the tiled flooring with tears streaming down my face and pained cries slipping past my lips.
"Addy, look at me" I hear Rafe's muffled voice and I lift my head to see him crouched down in front of me "That's it. Attagirl"
He takes my face in his hands and I grab onto his wrists, desperately trying to heave in breaths.
"I-I can't breathe" I choke out "Everything hurts, Rafe"
"You're having a panic attack" He tells me.
"No, something's really wrong. I think I'm dying" I gasp, releasing one of his wrist to grab my head in pain.
"I'm going to try and help you but I need you to listen to me, sweetheart" Rafe says softly.
I nod my head quickly and frantically, wanting nothing more than for this feeling to just go away.
"Breathe in and count with me in your head" He starts.
I take in a deep breath and look at him through my wet lashes, his thumb stroking my cheek gently. He counts to five and tells me to breathe out, counting to five once again. My eyes flutter closed and we repeat the action until my throat no longer feels closed up and I can breathe freely again. I open my eyes and Rafe smiles at me warmly, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead.
"You're okay" He assures me "I'm right here"
I crawl into his arms and he lifts me up off of the floor, sitting me down on the counter top. I shakily play with my fingers as the boy towering over me grabs a wet cloth and begins washing my face for me. I watch him in silence, scratching at my wrist as he cleans me up with carefully soft wipes to my face.
"Enough of that" He demands, pulling my hand away from my red wrist.
"My skin is itchy" I frown deeply.
"I know, sweetheart, but you're gonna really hurt yourself" He explains to me sweetly.
Rafe picks me up off of the counter and carries me through to his room, placing me down on his bed. I don't even have enough energy in me to argue with him about babying me so I just let him, soaking up the attention while I have it. He sits down next to me with a comb and starts gently untangling my hair. I'm in awe at the patience he has with the task, never complaining or trying to speed the process up and apologising every time he tugs at my hair a little too hard which makes me smile weakly.
"Why are you doing all this for me?" I ask the boy, my voice hoarse from crying.
"Why wouldn't I?" He counters, giving my now tangle free hair a once over with the comb.
"Because I don't deserve the way you dote on me, Rafe" I frown, remembering all the times JJ has looked at me full of disgust "I'm just a junkie whore from the cut"
"I'm just like my dad" I add shakily, hating to admit it.
"You're nothing like your dad, Addy" Rafe argues, grabbing my hand "And I don't know who's made you believe all those stupid things or that you don't deserve to be loved, but they're wrong"
"If they're wrong, why does everyone I let in leave me?" I question quietly.
"I don't know why some people do the things that they do, but what I do know is that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love you more than anyone. I also know that you deserve that love, you deserve all the love in the world" He tells me firmly.
It takes everything in me not to just tell him that I love him back right now, knowing that he'll assume the confession is out of pity or manic depression and so instead I press a chaste kiss to his lips before laying my head on his chest.
☼ ☼ ☼
Rafe and I are sat on the sofa, cuddled up together as we watch a cheesy romcom that he swears always puts a smile on his sisters' faces and it definitely worked, making me feel a little lighter than before. As the end credits of the movie start to roll, I sit up a little and turn my head to look at the boy next to me.
"Rafe, there's something I should tell you" I speak up.
"What is it?" He asks curiously.
"When we first started fooling around, I just wanted you to fuck me and then leave me alone" I start and he scoffs, nodding.
"Trust me. I know" He replies.
"Then you started giving me all this attention and I got greedy. I wanted you to love me" I continue.
"You got what you wanted" He mumbles, playing with my fingers.
"I know I did" I frown softly "You told me you love me and I got cold feet because I'm selfish"
"It's okay" He assures me.
"No, it's not" I shake my head.
"Addy" He sighs.
"Someone once told me that any guy who says he's interested in me beyond fucking me is full of shit" I explain and Rafe frowns deeply "I would be lying if I said that I didn't believe him or that it didn't get stuck in my mind, but I don't believe it anymore"
"Why's that?" He questions.
"Because I love you. And I know that you love me back" I finally admit.
"Are you serious?" Rafe asks hopefully.
"As a heart attack" I smile.
He grins widely, pulling me into his arms and I melt into his arms, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck.
"Later you can tell me who told you that bullshit so I can kill them" He mutters and I giggle, shaking my head.
"You're not killing anyone else, Rafe" I warn him and he hums.
I look up at the boy, feeling his eyes burning into me and he smiles at me warmly. His contagious smile spreads onto my lips and I almost get lost in his icy blue eyes that ironically make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
"I love you, Adelaide Maybank" He murmurs.
"I love you, Rafe Cameron" I counter.