Only my closest friends knew my fear of drowning.
Allowing me to rephrase that, I only had one friend, that person was Finnick. He knew everything about me, only he knows where my fear of drowning started and only, he knew that the fear even existed.
I can imagine the lump forming in his throat as I thrashed around in the water, fighting desperately for the oxygen that I needed. I was only a minute in, but this feeling to drowning was so real, I could feel my chest closing up, my lungs screaming for air.
But I was from District Four, I could swim before I could walk. Finnick and I had breath holding competitions nearly every day, I could hold my breath for nearly ten minutes. Clovis would hold me here long enough for me to drown, I don't know what he expected from me but I wouldn't go down this easily.
I hated the feeling of being so out of control, especially in the element. I had grown up in water, I was about to die in it and there was nothing I could to about it. The boy's hands gripped into the back of my neck, plunging me further into the water, so far down that my face was grazing the rocks on the water, I could see the blood from my cheek floating to the surface.
Cover Addison's eyes don't let her see me go. Not like this. I thought to myself, praying that somehow Andante and I were telepathically connected. All the good memories seemed to rush into my mind in a blend of colourful thoughts. All the happy times in my life are being flushed out of my mind as the water creeps down my throat.
Finnick, my mind jumps to him again. It always does, I know he is probably watching me now, I know he's praying for me to hold on. I cannot, I cannot do it anymore. I want him to take my hand, to tell me to stop competing so hard at our breath-holding competition, to remind me that we are in District Four and that the games cannot hurt me.
I'm lying to myself, perhaps the delusion of having my best friend by my side will make he try and hold on longer. My lungs were on fire, I felt like I was going to give up when the force on the back of my head released abruptly, Clovis' figure splashing into the water beside me.
Elsie drops the log she had hit Clovis over the head with as Beck and Thorn help me to my feet. They came back, why did they come back, where's Finnick.
I leapt onto the river bank, coughing and spluttering as I regained my breath. Beck pulled me from the water as Thorn dragged Clovis' unconscious figure beside us. Elsie sat beside me, crying frantically, and apologising for leaving me alone, "It's fine," I cough out with a lungful of water, "You're safe, that's water matters."
"You nearly drowned!" Beck exclaimed in response.
"Oh gee, did I really?" I shoot back sarcastically. My lungs felt like they were beginning to work again as I spewed up the last of the water, I rolled onto my back before yelping in pain, remembering the welts that had formed from the acidic waterfall.
"What happened to your back?" Thorn's finger grazed over my skin, causing me to flinch away.
"The waterfall's acidic, that's how we got rid of the mutts," I explain, scooting into a seating position. I hated everything about today, praying for it to be over as soon as possible, my wish was seemingly granted as the sky soon began to light up with pinks and oranges.
"What mutts?" Elsie asked, moving behind me to examine my wound.
"Just some rabid, hyena looking things with hides made from real human flesh, no big deal," I said, the image of their drooling fangs branded into my mind. Elsie determined that my back would need an expensive antiseptic cream, but for now she could manage with a special type of water plant that secreted some weird painkiller. The tingle of the plant on my back was soon replaced with a soothing coolness. Beck packed a few more of the leaves into his bag, helping my off my feet and leading me down the bank.
"The rest of the Careers will be here soon, we'd been on a cat and mouse chase with the other three when we found Elsie, she said you were in trouble," Beck explained as we trekked through the river to cover our tracks, Thorn held my weapon as Elsie splashed around a small away in front of us. The pain soon returned to my back as we reached the point where the river met the ocean. Beck lay me down on the sand and I let out a groan in paint.
My back felt like it was on fire, I could almost hear the crackling of my skin as Elsie ran over to us frantically, "It's going to get worse if we don't get the antiseptic cream for her," She pointed out, I let out a scream in paint, as it got worse, I could tell the young girl was crying as she applied for of the plant to my back.
"We'll never be able to get it, it's too expensive," Thorn stressed, as I felt the paint shake through my entire body. I couldn't help but cry out, even though I knew it was making them more stressed. My heart was thumping in my chest as my teeth clamped down on my tongue so hard, I could taste blood.
The faint voices of Beck and Thorn yelling frantically could be heard as black spots clouded my vision, "Christ Haymitch! Do I have to do a strip tease to get a sponsor down here?" I hear Beck yell sarcastically followed by a clunk of metal and a pained whine from the boy.
"It's from Four! It's the antiseptic cream!" Thorn called excitedly. I feel relief wash over me instantly as Elsie lathered the cream onto my back. I could hear the relieved praises from my friends as I drifted slowly into unconsciousness.
I held onto to Addison tightly as she cried out in pain, we were all dripping wet as we clambered out of the ocean. I could hear the struggles of three men fighting with the peacekeepers above us on the docks. I placed her down gently onto the sand and help her red-haired friend to sit comfortably beside her, "Stay right here, you're safe now," I whisper to them both soothingly as I run back into the water.
Finnick holds the frail body of a young girl in his arms as he runs out of the ocean. Her body hangs limply as he places her in the sand. Three compressions to the chest, one breath, three compressions, one breath. "It's not working!" he exclaims, we watch as the healers run onto the scene but we all know what they will tell us before they say anything.
She was dead long before we pulled her out of the water.
Addison lets out another cry for her friend and lunges for her, Finnick lifts her into his arms to stop her from moving. Mum and Dad run onto the scene frantically searching for their children, praying that we weren't the ones that had lost our lives. The other girl runs to her family, both of the children crying as we try to comfort them. They had lost their best friend and Addison had lost her mind.
That seems to be the only true part of my dream, the dead girl sits up from her lifeless position on the ground. Her skin peels from her body, morphing into the form of the mutts. Her teeth are barred, gnashing at me aggressively as I back away from the pier, my hand clutching Finnick's.
The setting of District Four melts away from around me as the mutt stalks towards me, I squeeze Finnick's hand only to realize it isn't him anymore. It's Clovis, the boy from One grab me by the neck as dunks me into the river, my face begins to bubble as it hits the acid. I scream, but nobody's here to stop him this time.
"You didn't have the heart to kill off the pathetic losers from Six and now you can't kill me?" I hear his taunt. Two more mutts appear, wearing the skin of the two from Six, Clovis pulled me from the river and now I'm surrounded by the mutts. The two from six, the girl from District Four, then one catches my eye. With sea green eyes and a familiar shark tooth necklace around its neck, baring its teeth at me is Mutt-Finnick.
Wake up, wake up, wake up.
I can't.
They all lunge around me, the dirt around me seemed to envelop me, burying me alive as the scratching of the mutt's claws is heard above me. The digging of the claws is soon changed to the digging of humans as Elsie, Beck and Thorn pull me from the ground. They don't help me for long, "We'd have to turn at each other at some point, right?" Thorn growls, morphing into a mutt and lunging at Elsie. I dive for the girl but it's too late, she's one of them too. I take Beck's hand but soon he falls limps as the boy from District Two, Lark throws a spear into his stomach.
Sage throw herself into me, pressing a knife at my neck, "I though about it, I don't owe you anything," She growled, grabbing my by the hair and pulling me from the ground. I watch as a line of people drop to the ground.
Mum.
Dad.
Addison.
Andante.
Asher.
Finnick.
Mags.
All dead.
I feel Sage's blade slash across my neck as Thorn shakes me awake, covering my mouth to muffle any screams that I make. "It's ok, it was just a dream," He whispers, sensing the pain on my back as my feature crumple up. He takes the tin of antiseptic and rubs it on my back, pain washing from me instantly. Beck and Elsie are cuddled up in the corner to remind each other that they're safe and sound. Stars twinkle overhead as I head the calming sound of the ocean in the distance.
I almost drowned today.
The waves crash louder.
I feel a tear slip down my face as I bury my head into Thorn's shoulder, "How long was I out?" I whisper hoarsely, fiddling with Finnick's pearl around my neck.
"Beck took the first watch; the anthem was hours ago." He explains, offering a few pieces of pineapple for me to eat, "Hungry?" He raises and eyebrow, giving me a friendly smile, I take one, eating half of it but losing my appetite quickly.
"How many dead?" I ask.
"Two, the pair from six, did you know them?" He replies, not sympathetic but not sociopathic. It was a good balance.
"He's coming,"
"Vaguely," I respond, not giving any details of me not being able to protect them, I as trying to block it out of my head, trying to convince myself it wasn't my fault. It was, I knew it was and I hated myself for not getting to them fast enough.
"Finnick wrote again, said to tell you he loves you and to stay out of trouble," He tells me, handing me the letter.
My eyes skim over the lines, feeling to exhausted to read it word for word, letting out a chuckle I say, "Well I'm not exactly doing a great job of that now am I?"
"Hmm, let's see, Clovis nearly kills you, mutts nearly kill you, acidic waterfall nearly kills you and then you nearly drown to death, all in one day. That's not a fantastic track record," He jokes but when I flinch, his face softens, "I'm sorry, that wasn't smart of me to say,"
"No kidding," I shake my head.
He gives me a smile in return, "Addy would be proud, you know that?"
"I'd be surprised if Addy was able to watch it at all, especially after-"
"The accident," Thorn says the last part of the sentence with me, "I don't know if anybody really know what happened except for the people that were there,"
"It's not really a story we like to tell, you know what happened to my sister afterwards, you can understand," I brush off his comment.
"The District crazy girl, still the sweetest girl in the District," He muses.
"You liked her, didn't you?"
His face turns to a frown, "Just a little,"
"You'll be good to her, when I get you back home," I tell him, sitting up straighter.
"I'm not going home, I think you know who needs to go home," He says nodding in Elsie's direction, I nod in agreement. She's too young, too fragile, but I need someone at home to look after my family. There are too many people I care about; a tear slides down my face. "Tell me about Addison," Thorn says, distracting me from the dark thoughts running through my head.
"Before the accident she was always so happy, she smiled at everyone, she was so polite. Mrs Driscoll, the florist took her in as an apprentice, Addy always liked flowers. She had the loveliest friends, you'd know them, Annie Cresta and Clementine Ford. One day they went down to the pier to run some errands for my father when they were stopped by three men who tried to attack them. Clementine pulled an oyster shell from the bottom of the pier and cut one on the ankle so that Addy could escape. The man got so angry he threw her into the water and held her under there, Annie screamed so loudly that the peacekeepers heard her. Finnick pulled Clem from the water but it was too late, the three men were executed, Annie and Addy stopped being friends and Addy went mad," I told him, realising that I had just told the whole world what had happened to my family, they had just lost all their privacy and it was my fault. My Dad would kill me if he were here, "I've been afraid of drowning ever since," I confess, gnawing on my lip.
Thorn pulls me into a hug, careful of my back, "She needs you at home," He tells me softly, "It has to be you,"
No, Thorn, no it doesn't.
I literally have no motivation to write anything anymore <3
I hate being a senior and I hate math and I hate covid
anyhoo, hope you're all staying safe and what not.