CHAPTER XXIX
Solana
"Is he still not responding?" Mera asked, yawning while on speakerphone. "He could be in the shower."
I shook my head, not pulling my gaze away from the screen. "He's been in the shower the whole day?" Fear prickled my skin, but I didn't know why. "He hasn't texted me back since last night."
"Maybe he's still pissed at Pres and Jon. You know, for accusing him about the brakes." I considered that theory earlier today, but I knew that couldn't be it. When I got back home that day, I'd updated him, and he seemed completely fine. Up until Wednesday.
"Do... do you think I should drop by?" My voice wavered from my nerves as I bit my lower lip. I couldn't look away from the phone, which displayed three of my unread messages. "Maybe something happened again."
Mera's only response was alarming silence. "You could," she started slowly before she mumbled, "But I can't come with you. I'm eating with my parents."
"I'll be okay by myself," I quickly defended. "The bus stop near the restaurant takes me pretty close to his house." I wasn't embarrassed to admit I did my research.
"Still... could you ask Lori?"
I was already shaking my head before glancing at the closed door. "She would never go to a Tiger's house. Plus, she has the closing shift."
Mera sighed, and I grudgingly swiped out from Christian's contact before bringing the phone to my ear. "How about Malik—"
"Definitely not." Even though I was closer with him, his loyalties were to his team, and I could respect that.
All I knew for certain was that I would stop by Christian's house. After Jon's accident on Tuesday, I assumed we were okay—we had been. But after trying to initiate conversation on Wednesday, I was surprised to receive two dry messages in response before I stopped entirely. I was planning on visiting yesterday, but my night class drained all my energy.
Was I leaving Lafiene close to ten at night? Yes. But I'd been looking forward to my shift ending, just so I could confront him on his silence. I knew something happened, and I needed to talk to him on his coping strategies, because I've started to see a pattern that he typically avoids me when he's angry or upset.
"I have a bad feeling, Lana." Recognizing how her voice started lowering with dread, I stiffened before glancing around the employee's lounge. I was sitting cross-legged on the bench, with no one in sight. "Just, if you're gonna go, keep me updated. And maybe let Jon know—"
"He's not talking to me again," I deadpanned, feeling my cheeks burn in frustration and hurt. "He's mad that I'm mad. And he wasn't happy that I called him out on Tuesday, when 'he's supposed to be recovering.'"
"Your brother," she cussed, and I imagined her clenching her jaw. "I can't wait until we finish fourth year. You'll finally have an excuse to leave him."
True. I finished submitting all my applications to masters programs—all of which were not in the state of Georgia. I've built up my savings since high school, and considering I used to have two jobs before I got into third year, it carried a generous amount of money. Mom also offered to pay for my masters program, and even though I hate having to rely on her, it would ease the funds I needed to pay.
"I'm going." My words were brimmed with confidence and promise as I shot up to my feet, shoulder bag in hand. "I'll keep you updated."
She grumbled another curse before demanding, "Actually give me updates. You know I hate when you bus late."
I cracked a small smirk. "You love me or something?"
"Please. I love my Turkish dramas more than you."
"Mwah." I smiled when she pretended to gag. "You love me."
She grumbled. "I hate you most of the time, though."
"Uh-huh, if that makes you feel better," I drawled playfully, already strutting out the room. I spotted Lori serving a table and quickly waved goodbye when she glanced in my direction. "I'll let you know when I get to his house. You let me know how the dinner goes."
"I'm meeting her fiancé, so it'll definitely be something." I could imagine her smirking at the thought that she wasn't in that position; her favourite sister was. "Bye, boob."
My brows clashed together at the nickname, just as she hung up. Keeping my face neutral, I peered to Lori once more and smiled before striding out of the restaurant, only to clench my jacket harder around me. Since it was getting closer to midnight, the temperature fell to five degrees celcius.
My hands stayed stuffed in my pockets while I quickened my pace to the bus stop. It took a few minutes, but luckily, I only had to wait a small amount of time before the bus pulled to a stop in front of me. I took my first, relaxed exhale when I sat on the row closest to the exit. The warmth of the bus quickly helped my cold cheeks.
For a few passing seconds, I was tempted to pull the kindle out of my bag, but I fought against it. The longer I was forced to sit with my thoughts, the more anxious I turned, so reading definitely wasn't on the table. I doubt I'd be able to focus on a single sentence, let alone a chapter.
Despite my jitters, I managed to concentrate on my phone once I opened YouTube. Earphones in place, I watched random videos on the trending page, until—finally, the bus pulled up at the start of Christian's street.
After a minute of jogging though, I nearly tripped on my feet in disbelief when I saw Christian's house—which had cars lined up in the driveway and the road. From the outside, it looked like every room had its lights on, and I slowly treaded to the end of the driveway, completely dumbfounded.
Was he not answering my texts because he was hosting a party?
All my concern and restlessness faded in an instant. I felt my face twisting in anger before I stomped up the concrete driveway, determination set in my veins. The front door was open, so I walked right through. No one spared a glance in my direction, so I kicked off my shoes—even though almost everyone was still in their boots or sneakers.
For a few seconds, I snapped my head in all angles, trying to find Christian's light brown head of hair and tall figure. He wasn't anywhere in sight. Instead, I spotted Logan idling by the couch with a beer in his hand, chatting with some other guys I recognized from the team.
Logan, who absently stared glancing around the living room, met my gaze seconds later. His eyes widened, and his mouth fell open in surprise.
His reaction made me frown, but I still started in his direction with confident strides. The guys he'd been talking to were watching me now, but the second I stood in front of Logan, they all grumbled excuses before dispersing around the room.
Laughing nervously, his free hand lifted to rub his buzzed head. "I should also probably—"
"You should probably not." My smile came out instantly, but it felt cool on my lips as I crossed my arms. "Where is he?" I didn't need to explain who he was.
Sighing in defeat, he dropped his hand and inhaled. "He's drunk," he expressed, like that was supposed to be enough for me not to see him. When he saw my brows raise expectedly, he clenched his jaw. "Kane is a mean drunk. So, if you wanna have a drink, go at it, but as his friend, I don't think I should let you see him."
"Christian is not a mean drunk." I mean, I would know. When we were in New York together, several shots in, he was completely fine. A little more tolerable, even.
Logan scrunched his nose and scoffed, like he didn't believe me. "Yes, he is." He cracked he neck and crossed an arm around his waist before pressing the mouth of the bottle lazily against his jaw. "Think about it. Kane has the patience of a saint when he's sober. He doesn't explode easily, because he just builds that shit up. Drunk Kane? He doesn't have that power."
I shook my head, confused. "Okay, but why is he drinking that much in the first place? You guys have a game tomorrow. He's never that reckless."
He laughed dryly and gripped the bottle tighter. "I don't know, but the guys and I assumed it was because of you." With a tight lipped smile, he gritted out, "Only you get him this worked up. And as much as I want you to fix whatever the fuck you did, talking to him now will only make it worse. Come back in the morning."
"I'm already here." With a sigh, I looked around the room. "He won't lash out on me. Something probably happened with Jon. Or his dad, maybe. I'll talk to him."
"Let the man hibernate," he said, exasperated. "Come on, I'll get you a drink—"
"Logan." My tone hardened, just as I narrowed my eyes. "You can't get rid of me that easy."
He breathed out through his teeth before he wrapped his mouth around the bottle. He drank the rest of the beer in three long gulps before he pulled his head back, hissing. "Fuck."
I watched him silently for a few seconds, but then I saw his gaze jump over my shoulder, where the stairs leading to the second floor was. Quickly connecting the dots that he was distracting me, I tightly smiled and patted his arm twice. "You enjoy your night."
Spinning around, I strode across the room and started up the stairs, faintly hearing Logan complain in the process. I ignored him, just as I reached the landing. Since I remembered where his bedroom was, the first time I came to his house, I moved to his front door and knocked twice. When he didn't answer, I took a deep breath before cracking the door open.
Just as my lips parted to announce myself, Christian's sharp, hostile tone stunned me. "Get the fuck out of my room."
It took me a few seconds to find my voice before I pulled the door open all the way. "That's one hell of a greeting, Christian." I tried to force a laugh as I stepped in his room, just as the door softly hit the wall behind me.
For a moment, I took in my surroundings, but I had to hold back a confused frown when I saw Christian sitting on the ledge of his bed, elbows digging into his thighs. Hands laced between his legs, I sucked in breath when I noticed how dishevelled he was—starting from his wrinkled clothes to tousled hair.
His eyes burned into mine, and I straightened instinctively, not used to him looking at me with malice. Even when we were kids.
Thankfully, I managed to breathe out roughly when some of his hostility wore off his expression. Eyes on his shoulders, I watched soberly as they sagged before he pushed himself back, so he was sitting normally.
"Christian," I murmured softly, but my grip on my bag's strap tightened. "Is everything okay?"
He smirked, and I felt my chest expand when I noticed how callous and cold it was. "What are you doing here?" I didn't miss the faint bite in his tone.
I jerked my head back in surprise while I gaped, trying to find my words. "You weren't answering, so—"
"So you thought that meant I wanted to see you?" He finished with cold, heartless laugh, and I sucked a breath before he tsked. "You're the last person I want to see."
Something in my chest twisted so hard I struggled to even my breaths. "What the hell did I do to you?" I demanded, thankful my words came out steady when I was quivering inside. "Why are you being a dick?"
He shot up to his feet and stood, and although he swayed for a second, his face was completely sobered, not hinting how intoxicated he was. I frowned but quickly stiffened when he slowly crossed the distance between us.
I tilted my chin back when our chests were nearly touching, but I couldn't stop my grimace when I caught the heavy stench of booze clinging to his body. "Jesus, Christian. What did you do? Drink all the alcohol in the kitchen?"
His eyes darkened. "None of your business." Before I realized what he was doing, he reached around me, and I jumped when he gripped the door and slammed it shut behind me. "Figured you're not gonna leave."
With that, he turned on his heel and strode back to the bed, plopping on his back. Still, the smell of alcohol was so distinct I couldn't stop scrunching my nose in disgust.
"What happened?" I asked, dropping my bag next to the door before taking a hesitant step closer. He was still staring at the ceiling, completely ignoring me. "Was it Jon? Did he say something?"
"I don't give a fuck about your brother," he barked, and I jolted back. "Seriously. I could go the rest of my life not seeing him, and I'd be fucking perfect. But no, he loves fucking with me."
I took another step forward. "What did he do this time?"
"Wasn't just him." I sucked a breath after hearing his rough laugh. "All of you. Your entire family fucked my entire life."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"That I regret ever fucking associating with your goddamn brother. Your mom. You."
Like I just got stabbed in the heart, I clenched a fist above my chest and stepped back with a silent, pained gasp. I felt my face pinch with hurt, but it felt like my entire body lost all mobility as I watched Christian, who was busy staring at the ceiling like he hadn't just grouped me with the hatred he had for my family.
"My life would have been so much more easier without all of you." With that insult, he sat up again and watched me, completely impassive even though his head slightly shook in disorientation. "You should go."
"Christian—"
"Go, Solana." The disgust he carried while saying my name reinforced the deep, painful ache in my chest. He pushed himself up suddenly, and I jumped back when he started stomping in front of me. My back hit the door, and all the walls I laid up to protect me, tumbled when he crowded my space.
"This was fun," he said smoothly, without an ounce of emotion despite smiling crookedly. He blinked quickly when his eyes unfocused, but he still drawled, "But I'm done. We got what we wanted. We pissed your brother off and now I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of you and your family, Lana."
I knew he was drunk. Clearly, considering the fact that alcohol was almost seeping out of his pores. He reeked, and despite all of those things confirming he wasn't of clear mind, everything still hurt. Because drunk words were sober thoughts.
I'm so fucking tired of you.
The ache spreed to the rest of my body, until I was completely numb.
"Why are you being like this?" I still managed to ask, despite my loss for words. "I don't understand."
"I already said why." He bared his teeth, his face burning with hatred and anger. "Clearly, I'm the fucking villain, right? I might as well act the part."
Confused by that, I opened my mouth to probe him for answers, but before I could, I pressed my head harder against the wall because Christian was staring at me now. Even though his eyes were still glossy, he lazily brought his arms up and caged me in before he leaned forward.
He smirked maliciously and I fought a flinch. "If you want, I can give you a farewell present," he drawled before bringing his head closer to mine. My nose scrunched in disgust. It was difficult to miss the alcohol when he was so close.
He mumbled, almost tiredly, "I know how much you like things that fill you up."
My jaw dropped from his suggestion, and that's when everything shifted. All the pain and discomfort, I forced it down and focused on the building rage, until all I saw was red.
"Fuck you," I gritted through my teeth before pushing him hard. I watched with satisfaction as he stumbled back, and because he had difficultly righting himself, he ended up falling on his bed.
His head sagged to the side, completely overtaken by the drinks he consumed tonight. But my skin was vibrating with the need to shout. To cuss him out.
"You want me to leave?" I asked with a harsh laugh. "I'll leave. I'll leave you here, so you can be alone. That's what you want, right?"
"You can't fool me, Christian. No matter how many times you smile or joke or act like nothing fazes you, I know different. You want to pretend you're okay? Go at it. I won't be there, chasing after you anymore. Maybe then you'll realize you're not okay."
My chest was heaving in anger, but I knew my face was betraying me. I felt it crumbling from the spasms overriding my body's functioning, but still, I bit out, "You're not the villain in whatever story you made up. And until you realize that? Get fucked, Kane."
I bent down sharply and snatched my purse off the floor before throwing the door open and storming out. My body still felt detached from my mind, and my feet faltered on the stairs until I reached the bottom floor.
Somewhere, I heard someone calling for me, but I didn't need to turn back to know it was Logan. Instead, I shoved my feet into my shoes and pulled the front door open.
It wasn't until I was striding down the driveway, feeling the cold air bite into my skin, did I feel a tear break free.
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happy Tuesday lovelies <3 I'm
going to post an update for
my new story on my Instagram today,
so if you wanna check that out
*nudge*
it's a prequel/spin-off to my
mafia book, if youre interested!
till then, have a great week x