Chairman: Dear Director, due to your busy schedule, we have begun interviewing members of your staff. I'm certain you will let us know if this bothers you. However, our debriefings keep coming back to a single subject at Outpost 17-B. Can you explain to us what this Meta is, and what your plans are to deal with it?
A Blue is jabbing Alex
Alex: Jab me one more time and I'll beat you to death with my rifle.
The blue backs away and Miller runs down a ramp to Washington and Alex
Miller: Oh no! Hell no! Excuse me, sir, but no goddamn way!
Washington: You must be Lieutenant Miller.
Miller: I got Reds comin' out of my ass here boss, and you wanna take away two of my men for a... what did you say this was for?
Alex: Honestly we think one guy you might want to lose.
Blue: Secret mission, sir.
Miller: Aw, you gotta be-a what!?
Wash: I think you have bigger issues than troop assignment, soldier. Like getting some of these vehicles back in working order. ''Wash indicates to the burning tank and wrecked jeep.''
Alex: And there are some dead blues
Miller: What do you think I'm talkin' about? This is YOUR fault! You sent us one the new guys; he said he was good with vehicles. All he does is talk to 'em. Talk to 'em! And he's shot some of the outhers blues. What the hell is that all about? And now look at the damn things!
Wash: I don't need to discuss your problems. I have orders, and those orders say I need Private Caboose and Privet William and I need him now. He has information that could be vital to this-
Miller: Wait a second, Caboose? You're taking Caboose? And I don't have to pay you or anything like that?
Alex: Umm yes.
Wash: Is that a problem?
Miller: A problem? Hehe, hell no! It must be Christmas morning n' no one told me. You stay right there, I'll get 'im for you. Private Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes, where the hell are ya'!?
Jones: (sigh) Sir, for the millionth time, my name is pronounced 'Jones'. Jones.
Will: Shut up, Jo-a-nes!
Jones: Seriously, lots of people have the name, it's very common. How am I the first person you've met called Jones?
Will: Sorry Jo-a-ness.
Jones: I hate you Will
Miller: Jo-a-nes, I need ya and Gates to go down to the brig, untie Caboose and get him up here.
Jones: Me... with Will?
Miller: Double time, Jo-a-nes you to Gates.
Jones: Its pronounced... never mind, Christ.
Will: It was nice knowing you buddy.
Will follows Jones
Jones: Thanks I guess.
Washington: You keep him in the brig?
Miller: We keep him tied up in the brig. I'm not taking any more chances.
Gunshot, Jones cries out in pain, Caboose runs on
Will: Caboose why did you do that?
Caboose: Be careful.
Miller: (to Wash) You'll understand soon enough.
Caboose: You wanted to see me, Principal Miller?
Will: Caboose how many times have I told you it's not Principal.
Miller: Where's the guy I sent to get ya?
Caboose: Oh, him, yeah... um, he let me out then somehow shot himself in the back somehow. But we don't think it was anybody's fault. Everybody agrees it was an accident.
Will: No it was you Caboose.
Caboose sees Alex
Caboose: Oh my God! Alex!
Caboose hugs Alex
Alex: Hi Cabooses your braking my ribs.
Will: Hey Alex.
Alex: Hey Will how are things between you and Ava.
Will: We're taking a brake she went to focus on school or something.
Miller: Jesus! Would someone go and check on him?
Blue runs off to check on Jones
Miller: This here is Special Agent Washington, from Blue Command. He has something fantastic he needs to talk to both of you about.
Caboose: Command? Oh no, they never have good news. Did somebody die? Was it my mom, is she dead? Or my dad, did my dad die again? Oh no.
Will: Caboose shut up.
Wash: What is this? I don't...
Miller: Hehe, you see, there yours now. Hehe, no take-backs.
Caboose: Is it my brother? Was my brother killed? That's it, isn't it, my brothers dead!
Wash: What... no, nothing like that.
Caboose: Oh, good, because I don't even have a brother. H-how sad would it be to not have a brother and to lose a brother all in the same day.
Wash: No one died!
Blue runs in
Blue: Jo-a-nes is dead, sir.
Alex: Once agin Caboose kills somebody.
Wash: Ok, no one besides him.
Caboose: Once again... nobody's fault. Pst... I think the new guy did it.
Will: It was literally you Cabooses I saw you do it.
Wash: Private Caboose, you were stationed at Blood Gulch, correct?
Caboose: Yeah... that was fun.
Will: It was interesting at lest it got me out of Battle Creek.
Wash: And our records indicate that you were infected by an aggressive artificial intelligence program at one point. The Omega AI, is that correct as well?
Caboose: Yeah... that wasn't as much fun.
Will: He threatened to beat me with my rifle when he was infected.
Wash: Ok, well, I need you to come with me. I'm investigating a critical issue and you seem to be one of the only people with the knowledge and experience necessary to help me.
Long, awkward silence.
Wash: And I just realised how ridiculous that sounded once I said it out loud. Nonetheless, I need you to come with me.
Will: You have no idea.
Miller: Can I have a word with him first, sir?
Wash: Sure, I guess.
Miller and Caboose walk over to the barrier.
Miller: Now Caboose, I know we didn't always get along.
Caboose: I got tied up.
Miller: Right. But all these mistakes... I know it's not your fault. You seem like a good kid, you're just a little... confused.
Caboose: Yeah... he is.
Miller: But I wanna give you a piece of advice. This guy looks like a tough customer, and you're bound to get into some situations that maybe you're not prepared for.
Caboose: Right, like a rodeo.
Miller: Now if that happens, if you find yourself in danger, or if you're in a situation where you think something bad is going to happen, I want you to remember just one thing. Never, EVER come back here.
Caboose: Ok.
Miller: No, I need to know that you understand. I need to hear you say it.
Caboose: Don't ever go backwards.
Miller: (sigh) I guess that's about as close as we're gonna get. (To Wash) He's all yours!
Wash: Great, let's get going.
Caboose: Okay.
Caboose walks off with Wash Will and Alex.
Caboose: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet!?
Alex: Caboose shut up.
Wash: Just... try and be quiet, ok.
Miller: (To Blues) Boys, this is a great day. Things are finally changing for us, I can feel it.
Blue: Should we bury Jo-a-nes now, sir?
Miller: Fellas, let's just enjoy this moment a little longer, hehe. He's not going anywhere.
Caboose and Wash walk off in distance, watched by a blue figure.
Caboose: (In distance) I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I need to go to the bathroom again...
Will: Shut up Caboose!
The Blue figure changes color to white, then turns to face the screen, which blacks out.