Inspired by Community S1E19: "Beginner Pottery"
Percy POV
"Oh, Percy, you're here. Great," Annabeth says.
What a fantastic confidence booster. "I'll show up late every day if it gets me a greeting like that," Percy says. It was hard for him to warm up to it, but he's come to enjoy his and Annabeth's playful banter.
Piper stops chewing on her paper Starbucks straw and pulls her mask over her face before talking to Percy. "Annabeth was just telling us about... The Ultimate Blowoff Class!" she shouts like a gameshow host.
Percy takes his seat next to Annabeth and looks over her shoulder as she pulls up the course registration page on her laptop, a dinky HP Chromebook, Percy notices.
She reads from the page. "ART 105: Intro to Ceramics. Meets Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2:30 to 4:00."
"Never really took you for a pottery person, Wise Girl," Percy teases.
Annabeth rolls her eyes. "Oh, I'm not. But I was on Rate-My-Professor and it looks like this Vulcan guy is a total hippie, even more than Piper's ex-girlfriend. No offense, Pipes."
"None taken."
"Anyway, the entire grade is participation, so all you have to do is show up. You don't even have to make anything," Annabeth explains.
"Ooh, count me in!" says Piper.
"Me too!" says Leo.
An opportunity to spend some time screwing around with his friends is always a great opportunity in Percy's eyes, but unfortunately, he has a conflict.
"I'm actually all signed up to take a week-long intensive course. There are still a couple of spots left if anybody wants to join me," Percy says.
"What's the class?" Jason asks.
"Sailing."
Annabeth laughs. "And how are they going to do that? We don't have an on-campus ocean."
"They'll do it with a real sailboat out in the parking lot."
Hazel perks up. "Oh, that sounds nice! I've always wanted to learn, but I get too seasick."
"Count me in too," says Frank. Percy can always count on support from Frank and Hazel.
"Great! We'll be real seamen in no time!" shouts Percy.
"Ha," Piper laughs. "Seamen."
With the addition of Hazel and Frank, that leaves one spot left in the sailing class, if Percy remembers correctly.
"Jason?" he asks. "How about it? Sail across the parking lot with your bro?"
"Bro," Jason says. "If I'm not good at sailing, I'll have a bad grade on my transcript. If I'm bad at pottery, I still get an A. I'm joining Annabeth and the others."
"You'll be missing out," Percy teases.
He watches as Annabeth signs herself up for the pottery class.
"You'll be sorry when you suck at sailing. Should I say 'I told you so' now or after you withdraw?" Annabeth teases.
"Watch it, Wise Girl. Sailing is in my blood," Percy says.
"Mmhmm," Piper says. "Just like pottery is in my blood even though my last ceramics project was my kindergarten pinch pot."
There's an awkward silence. Is Percy allowed to laugh at that?
"I... I bet it's a wonderful pinch pot..." Frank mutters.
"My dad lost it when we moved to Oklahoma," Piper says.
Frank turns red. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Not as sorry as my dad."
"Oh."
Before Frank can dig his own grave, Jason interjects. "How about we study some Latin? Latin is good. Latin is not insensitive."
"Latin is good," Leo agrees.
Percy draws a blue sailboat in Annabeth's notebook when she isn't looking.
✎✎✎
Percy and his friends meet the fourth member of their class, Travis Stoll, in the parking lot. They didn't need to worry about getting instructions. It's pretty hard to miss a giant boat in the middle of a community college campus.
"I like your hat, Percy," Hazel says.
Percy adjusts his favorite sailing hat, bought specially for the occasion. "Why, thank you, Hazel!"
"Who's Princess Andromeda?" Frank asks.
Percy pats the side of the boat with his palm. "Ah, she's a beaut' int she?"
"What?" Frank cocks an eyebrow.
"It's what you do, Frank. You name boats after women," Percy explains.
"But what if you're misgendering the boat?" Travis asks.
"Good morning, Cupcakes!"
Oh no.
When Percy went to Nico's billiards match he swore two things he never wanted to see again: Nico's manhood, and that crazy Coach Hedge.
And now Hedge is running Percy's sailing class. Amazing.
"Everybody on the vessel!" he yells.
Percy scrambles up the ladder and then reaches to help Hazel up.
"Ooh, I feel so high up!" she says.
Hedge takes his place at the steering wheel and addresses the class. "Welcome aboard the Princess Andromeda. The school bought this from some creep who got arrested for selling drugs to a minor or something, but I'm probably not supposed to tell you that."
Coach Hedge hobbles to the back of the boat and continues talking as he digs around a dock box.
"There are a couple of very strict rules you must follow here on the Princess Andromeda. I am Captain Hedge, and you will address me as such. But you won't take direct orders from me. Those will come from one of your peers." He strokes his beard and scans the group. Travis looks at Percy, probably because Percy is the obvious choice for captain.
"You." Hedge places a ball cap that reads 'CAPTAIN' in gold lettering on Hazel's head. "Everyone else here will take orders from Captain, er..."
"Levesque," Hazel supplies.
"Yeah, whatever," he says. "Everybody make sure you read up on sailing terms tonight."
"We don't have a textbook," Frank says.
"Just look it up on MySpace or whatever you kids are using these days."
Frank gives the 'ok' sign and takes a step back.
"Most importantly!" Hedge roars. "Anything that falls off of this boat is gone, sunken to the bottom of the ocean. Understand?"
Percy nods so fast he feels like one of those Greek mythology bobbleheads on Dean D's desk.
And then Hedge gets this smug look on his face. He says, "Oh yeah, and you pass or fail this class as a team."
One big group project. Great. That means if one of them screws up badly enough, everyone fails.
Everyone else gets their assignments and Hedge explains today's simulation: Captain Levesque and her crew just left their port and are sailing the open ocean. The weather conditions are perfect for sailing, but only because this is the first day. Hedge promises that tomorrow will be harder, and Captain Levesque and her crew will have to determine the quality of the weather and how to react without Hedge's help.
"Okay, raise the uh, main," Hazel squeaks.
"I got it," says Percy.
He starts tugging on a rope, but it's the wrong rope, and the entire beam swings in a clockwise direction.
"Shoot!" Travis ducks just in time.
Frank, on the other hand, does not duck just in time.
"Hey, guys? Can someone get me down from here?" he asks, hanging from the beam, legs dangerously close to hitting Mr. Brunner's red mustang.
Coach—er, Captain—Hedge blows his whistle. "That's it, Cupcakes! All of you earn a failing participation grade for today." Then he turns to Hazel and says, "You better get your crew together, Captain Levesque."
✎✎✎
Piper, Jason, and Leo are trying to make peace with a zombie in the study room.
Oh, wait, nope. Percy was wrong. That's just Annabeth with dark circles under her eyes and frizzy hair. There are some crumpled-up Redbull cans on the floor beneath her and books filled with yellow sticky notes all over the table.
"Annabeth, were you here all night?" Piper asks.
"You know, most mental health issues begin in college," Leo says.
Annabeth jolts so that she's no longer slumped over the table. "I've got her! Ohoho! Rachel Elizabeth Dare from New York, New York whose father owns a multi-million dollar company!" she says before promptly passing out on the table.
"On that note," says Jason. "How's your sailing class going?"
As if on cue, Hazel stomps into the room, flanked by Frank. "I hope you're ready to make up for yesterday," she says to Percy.
"Me? What did I do?"
"You made us fail yesterday, and almost hurt Frank!"
Percy sticks his hands on his hips defensively. "I'm sure Frank's fine. And that's one out of five classes. We can bring up the grade, right Frank?"
"Percy needs to apologize and drop the class so we can all do better. Right, Frank?"
Frank wrings his hands together. "Please don't bring me into this..."
Percy sighs. Frank's right. "I'm sorry for yelling just now and for messing up yesterday, but I can't drop the class, guys."
Now it's Hazel's turn.
It's Hazel's turn... now!
Or maybe she can apologize to Percy... now!
"You're just jealous that I got picked to be captain and not you," she says. With that, she pivots and leaves the room.
Frank raises a finger like he's about to speak, and then drops it. He pulls out his chair at the study table but then pushes it back in. "I just want everyone here to know that I'm leaving, but I'm not joining Hazel. I'm not picking sides."
"See you in class, Frank," says Percy.
"I should've taken pottery," he mumbles on his way out.
Percy's genuinely impressed that Frank is visibly shaken, yet takes care to close the door without waking Annabeth up.
He turns his attention to the others.
"I take it sailing isn't going so well?" asks Piper.
"Could be better," Percy says. "How about pottery? Is it true that you can't fail?"
Leo chuckles. "There is only one way to fail pottery."
Percy nearly pisses his pants when Annabeth jolts up, screams, "DITTO!" and then falls asleep, snoring ever so slightly.
"Okay then," says Percy. "I should probably study up on sailing so I don't upset Hazel tomorrow."
"Be careful," Piper warns. "You don't want to end up like... that..."
Percy decides he doesn't want to know what exactly led Annabeth to a state of pottery-provoked madness, so he goes to the computer lab to get on Wikipedia and research some sailing terminology.
✎✎✎
Things are a little tense at sailing class today, but not quite as tense as yesterday, so that must mean Hazel's had some time to cool off, right? And now Percy can help them get some good grades, and make it all up to the team.
"Seamen!" Hedge bellows from the stern of the ship. "It's incredibly humid out. Dark clouds are obscuring your vision. Some might call it muggy. Captain Levesque?"
Hazel gasps and grips the steering wheel. "That's a perfect storm! Secure for heavy weather! Frank, lower the main sail!"
Frank gets right to work.
"Travis! Batten down the hatches!"
"Yes, ma'am!" Travis secures all the doors and windows and ties the safety equipment to the boat.
"Made!" Frank yells when the sail is lowered. He begins to roll it up carefully the way Captain Hedge taught them so that he doesn't ruin it.
"Frank, strike the royals!"
Frank can't strike the royals all by himself, but Percy can't just help without an order from Hazel. That would create a too-many-cooks-in-the-kitchen situation.
But dammit, he's needed! So he says so. "Frank can't strike the royals all by himself! Let me help him, Hazel!"
Hazel scowls and turns the steering wheel. "No, Percy! You'll just mess everything up! Stay put."
"But Hazel-"
"I said to stay put. Better yet, get out of Frank's way so you don't fall overboard."
Percy looks to Captain Hedge. This can't be good for their grade, right?
Hedge just shrugs.
"Travis, can you help me?" Frank asks. "I need you to hold this rope."
"I've got it!" Percy yells.
This is his chance to help, and finally, be a real sailor.
More importantly, he can finally prove himself to the crew.
Percy jolts to his feet, ready to step up to the challenge.
"Wait, Percy!" Frank calls. "Watch out for the-"
"Oof!"
It all happens in a flash. His back hits the concrete ocean, so he waves his arms around frantically and calls for help.
"I've got you!" Frank shouts, throwing a life preserver into the sea, ready to drag Percy out of the storm.
Percy clutches his lifeline. "Frank, let me go! You can't pull me up!"
Frank rolls his eyes. "Percy, I lift. I can get you back up here. Quit being so dramatic."
"Careful, Cupcakes! Er, Seamen!" Captain Hedge says. "If you save your mate, you could all drown in the storm. What'll it be, Captain?"
Hazel glances down at Percy with eyes so wide, Percy realizes he's never noticed that they're brown.
Frank grips the rope, not letting go of Percy.
"We have to let him go." Hazel pulls the brim of her 'CAPTAIN' hat lower on her face. "We can't risk all dying in the storm."
"Wait, what?" Percy tightens his grip on the life preserver.
"But Hazel-" Travis starts.
"Shut up, Travis. Leave him. That's an order!"
"No!" Percy shouts.
He'll never forget the sadness in Frank's eyes as he drops the rope, leaving Percy to fend for himself fathoms below in the depths of the parking lot.
✎✎✎
Okay, so Percy is one for dramatics, but he only overreacted a little bit when his friends left him in the figurative ocean! They basically just sacrificed his life for a good grade!
But if Percy doesn't go back to the ship, he'll fail the class. He can't give up yet.
Now he's sitting in the toolshed that the tech ed classes use, putting together a little dingy boat on top of an old trailer, the kind you tow things with.
"Ugh!" Annabeth stomps into the shed and kicks a bucket over, pouring blue paint all over the side of Percy's rowboat.
Some people would be upset, but the boat was missing something, and that touch of blue might have been it.
Now to climb in and make sure it's sturdy.
"You wouldn't happen to know of a private investigator, would you?" Annabeth asks.
Percy shrugs. He isn't sure what's going on in pottery, and he doesn't think he wants to know. He almost chuckles; most people sign up for art classes to balance out the stress that comes with their other courses. Annabeth isn't like most people though. Instead of interrogating her, he offers some advice
"I don't know what's stressing you out right now, but you should try not being so hard on yourself. I mean, what's the point of being the best at everything if you're not having any fun doing it?" he asks.
Annabeth crosses her arms and cocks an eyebrow. "Says the guy sitting in a... rowboat on wheels?"
"Unlike you, Wise Girl, I have no pride. I was a man overboard just a minute ago, left to die by my own friends, but even imminent death by storm can't stop me! I can't drown!" Percy says. He hopes Annabeth can tell that he's smiling beneath his mask.
She balls her clay-caked hands into fists. "I am not prideful!" Then, she takes a look at her palms, as if there's something written on them she's never noticed before. "Oh, shit. I totally am."
"The first step to getting better is admitting you have a problem."
Annabeth looks at Percy. "I guess I just like the feeling of success. I'm supposed to be good at everything, you know?"
"Not really," says Percy. "I've been kicked out of a lot of schools, so 'success' isn't a word people use to describe me. I just kind of float here and there and then try again when I screw up. I'm like a Portuguese man o' war, except I don't sting hard enough to hospitalize people."
"Okay... Seaweed Brain..."
Percy's grinning even harder now, but he has to fake offense to keep this weird rivalry kind of friendship going. "Ouch."
Annabeth looks at Percy and then studies his boat. "One of your wheels is crooked. Do you want me to fix it?"
"Do you mind?" Percy asks. "Oh, and can you pass me that paddle?" He's not sure why there's a paddle in the woodshop shed, but he's happy some students took that project on. Hopefully, it's already been graded because Percy really needs a win right now.
Annabeth adjusts the wheel and then hands the paddle over. "Well, thanks for the advice, Captain Seaweed."
"Anytime. Give me a push, Wise Girl?"
She grips the back of the makeshift rowboat, but before pushing Percy, she asks about the name of his vessel, "Argo II? What's that mean?"
"My dad's boat was the Argo."
Satisfied with that answer, she pushes Percy over the bump in the doorway. He uses his paddle to change directions and then he's on his way.
"Good luck, Percy!" Annabeth calls.
"Don't need it!" he replies. He's never had it before.
He almost wishes Annabeth good luck too, but then he realizes she's probably dropped whatever it is she's been obsessing over this past week if she's taking any of Percy's advice.
Percy needs to stop getting so lost in his thoughts about Annabeth because now his small craft is speeding faster than he can handle.
The paddle! He holds the paddle over the side of the boat, hoping it'll catch against the ground and slow him down-
CRACK!
There goes the paddle.
Percy buries his head in his elbows because that's just what you do when you're uncontrollably speeding toward the fire hydrant.
His boat crashes, as expected, but what's not expected is the burst of water from the hydrant that quickly fills his boat. With nothing else to use, he cups water in his hands and spills it over the side of the Argo II. It's no use! The hydrant is filling his boat faster than he can get rid of it. His pants are soaked.
It may just be a parking lot, but this is his ship, and dammit, he'll go down with it!
And he was so close to the Princess Andromeda!
He can faintly hear Hedge say, "Leave it to Jackson to drown twice in a parking lot."
Hazel turns to speak with Frank and Travis. The guys nod in turn, and then Hazel points at Percy. Could they be coming to rescue him?
An engine starts, and the sailboat starts rolling toward Percy. "Hey!" he shouts. "Over here!"
"Percy!" Hazel shouts. "I'm sorry for being a bad captain!"
"I'm sorry too!" he yells back. "You're a great captain!"
Frank throws the life preserver over the side for Percy to grab onto, and together, he and Travis pull him out of the ocean.
Before Percy can catch his breath, the wind is nearly knocked out of him again when Hazel wraps him in a hug.
So he hugs back. "Thanks for saving me," he says.
Captain Hedge blows his whistle. "What in the Sam Hill was that? If this was the real ocean, we'd all be killed by the storm! What do you have to say for yourself, Captain?"
Hazel clears her throat. "I say that it's better to die with your friends than to succeed alone."
Hedge strokes his billy-goat beard, then paces across the boat and back a few times, and finally says. "Give me that hat, Levesque."
With trembling hands, Hazel removes her special hat and hands it over to Hedge. He snatches it into his calloused hands, causing poor Hazel to jump in fear. He puts the hat back in the dock box he got it from on the first day of class, and then retrieves... another hat?
"Levesque, I'm promoting you to admiral."
Hazel happily accepts the hat. "That's so nice! Thank you!"
"It doesn't mean anything. The class is over. You all get an A."
Travis pumps his fists. "Let's go!"
Percy throws an arm around Hazel. "Congratulations, Admiral Levesque."
"It really doesn't mean anything," Hazel says.
"You'll always be my captain," says Percy.
Frank stands on the bow of the ship, his hands cupped around his eye like a telescope. "To the stars," he says. "To the stars."