Well hello, long time no see. Whoops
This chapter is extra long so ENJOY! :D
TW:
PANIC ATTACK
TRAUMA
ANXIETY
(Please let me know if I need to add more!)
Phil POV
It has been 3 days since Tubbo got shot, Ranboo is slowly going crazy. He can't sleep at night and refuses to leave the room during the day. A few hours ago I asked him if he knew what day it was and he had no idea.
Ranboo POV
It has been days maybe weeks since Tubbo got shot, at least that's what I thought until Phil told me it was only 3 days.
I hate this, there is this thought constantly in my head: what if Tubbo doesn't wake up? "Ranboo I think it's time you get some fresh air, it will be good for you. You'll feel better after." Phil said which snapped me out of my thoughts. "Do I really need to?" I said. "Yeah, we are gonna pick up Wilbur, it's his turn." There aren't allowed more than 3 people in the hospital room so Phil has been bringing one person at the time, and Techno looked after the other.
"Let's go." He said. It felt wrong leaving Tubbo alone, I didn't want to. We got in the car and started driving. When we got there Wilbur was already waiting. He opened the car door and got in. "How you doing Ranboo?" He asked. "Hm" I hummed in response.
"Oh wait I'm getting a call, Ranboo can you answer it please, I'm driving." Phil said. "O-okay" I hated phone calls. "Hello?" I picked up. "Hi is this family of Tubbo underscore?" "Uh y-yes." "He woke up." The phone fell out of my hand. My eyes were big. "Who was it Ranboo, is everything alright?!" Phil said. "He woke up. HE WOKE UP, DRIVE!" I said. O ma god he fucking woke up, he is alright! Well hopefully, oh god what if he's not. "Okay I'll drive!" Phil said and pressed his foot down harder.
I think we were going a bit to fast cause a few minutes later we heard sirens. Wilbur looked back, "fuck, the cops." He said worried. "We ain't got time for that!" I screamed. "I know but I can't just ignore them!" Phil screamed back. "Uh yes you can!" I said and pressed my foot down next to Phil's on the accelerator. "RANBOO!" It was chaotic. Phil managed to push me away. "Phil you can take them out, I believe in you!" Wilbur screamed. "NO!" Phil screamed back. Meanwhile 'I'm still standing' was playing on the radio. The police was now driving besides us, signing we needed to pull over. Me and Wilbur rolled down our windows. "MY FRIEND JUST WOKE UP FROM A COMA FUCK OFF!" I screamed at them and flipped them off. "YOU TELL THEM RANBOO LET'S GOOOOOOO" Wilbur screamed. "Phil drive, drive Phil!" We both screamed and Phil sped off. "WOOOOOOO" "Oh my god!" Phil laughed. "They're gone ahah!" Wilbur said as he looked back. "Take that ya cops!" I said.
When we arrived at the hospital I opened the car door while the car was still moving a bit and jumped out, almost falling. "Ranboo wait for us!" Wilbur screamed. I didn't have time to wait, I needed to see Tubbo, to know that he was alright.
I ran through the halls of the hospital. Were they always this long? It was already getting a bit dark, I think it was around 6 pm. I finally reached the room, I could hear Phil and Wilbur running behind me. I twisted the doorknob as fast as I could and swung the door open. There he sat, upright, eyes open, staring at me. "Tubbo!" I wanted to scream but it came out as a sob. I ran towards him and fell into his arms, clinging onto him. "Ranboo. How you doing king." Tubbo said. "Please never almost die again." I cried. "It's not really my choice but alrigh-" "please" "okay okay" he said and I properly sat down besides him, wiping away some tears.
"How are you doing Tubbo, are you in any kind of pain?" Phil asked. "No not really I'm alright." He answered. "I'm glad you're back." Wilbur said and patted Tubbo on his head. "Did I miss something?" Tubbo asked. "Well if by something you mean Ranboo going crazy, yes. I've never seen him run that fast. He even flipped off the cops!" Wilbur told him laughing. "And almost killed us by pushing his foot down on the accelerator!" Phil said kinda angry but I knew he thought it was funny. "That's my boy!" Tubbo said and we all laughed.
It was getting kinda late and because I hadn't slept well lately I was tired. Phil turned the lights off, except for the one in the corner of the room. It was a small one so the room was being dimly lit with a orange light. I laid down and tried to sleep. I expected it to take a while but surprisingly my eyes closed almost immediately. I think knowing that Tubbo was next to me , awake and alright, helped.
No ones POV
Phil, Tubbo and Wilbur continued talking but more quiet now cause Ranboo was sleeping. Now and then a nurse walked in to check on Tubbo. A nurse had just walked in, she was just checking everything when she accidentally dropped something. "Oh-" *bang!*
Ranboo shot upright from his bed, he started frantically looking around with wide open eyes. His eyes landed on Tubbo and he took a deep breath in but it was really shaky. "Ranboo are you alright?" Tubbo asked putting his hand out for Ranboo to grab. Tubbo knew that if Ranboo was stressed he sometimes liked to hold something so he knew it was real. Ranboo shakily lifted his hand and moved it towards Tubbo, Tubbo held it. "I-I thought I thought she was back." He said barely above a whisper.
Phil POV
Tubbo looked at me concerned and then looked back at Ranboo again. "She isn't here Ranboo, it alright." Tubbo told Ranboo. Then he suddenly started crying. "Ranboo?" I asked walking towards him. "I don't want you to die Tubbo, I don't want anyone to die! Because of me!" Ranboo cried out. "Ranboo it's not your fault, everything is okay, no one is dead." I said as input a hand on his shoulder. Oh god this looks like some more trauma. "No but Tubbo almost DIED because of me. H-he was bleeding out I-" "Ranboo Ranboo calm down, it's alright, I'm alive, I'm alive." Tubbo said as he pulled Ranboo close to him. "Shhhhhh it's alright." Tubbo whispered.
Ranboo eventually stopped crying and fell asleep next to Tubbo. "Have the police caught Adams yet?" Tubbo asked me, quietly cause he didn't want to wake up Ranboo. "No not yet." I told him. "I want to fucking kill her, look what she did! She caused him another trauma! Ranboo doesn't deserve this." Tubbo said. "Yeah I know, I hope they find her." I answered. "If they find her, I'm going to nuke her."
After a while Tubbo drifted off to sleep and I decided to also call it a night.
Ranboo POV
I woke up from the light shining in my eyes. I groaned and turned my head so I was laying face down. "Look who's awake!" I heard a voice say next to me. I glanced up and saw Tubbo face really close to mine, smiling at me. I got a heart attack and fell of the bed, screaming. Phil and Tubbo started laughing at me, and the nurse that happened to walk by looked really confused.
I just stayed on the ground cause I didn't have the energy to move my legs. One of the nurses walked in and did all the checkups. "So everything is looking good, I think he's ready to go!" She said happily. Wait what, did I hear that right? Already? Oh god what if something happens? What if- if he falls or like gets hit by a car?! I must keep an eye on him, to make sure nothing happens. "Ranboo go get ready." Phil told me. I got up from the floor and walked to the little bathroom that was attached to the room. I grabbed the brush and started brushing my hair, it was pretty tangled. It was also getting long again, it was touching my shoulders but I didn't really mind.
"Ranboo are you done?" Phil asked. "Uhhh yeah I think so." I said. "Okay we are going to get some stuff first and then go home." "Alright."
Tubbo had one crutch which he could lean onto for support. He was a bit wobbly but he could walk. "Ran can you tie my shoes, I can't reach." Tubbo asked me a bit annoyed about the fact that he couldn't tie his own shoes. "Don't worry buddy, I got you." I mocked him, as if he was a child. I kneeled down and tied his laces. Just as I finished he suddenly kicked me. "AUWW" I yelled while falling backwards. "You deserved that one." Tubbo said. "Okay yeah I kinda do." I said holding my stomach where he kicked me.
We got into the car after a while, Tubbo wasn't that fast, Phil started driving. We eventually stopped and got out. Phil needed to buy some stuff like food but also painkillers and other things for Tubbo.
Once we started walking the anxiety rose again. I kept looking around us and walking close to Tubbo. I felt like all the people were watching every single move we made. And each time I glanced at a person I got scared cause for a second they looked like her.
"Ranboo are you alright, you're acting weird. You're like my bodyguard." Tubbo said. "Huh oh yeah no I'm alright." I said quick still looking around. We started walking again. Every time someone dared to look at Tubbo, I gave them a death stare. Just as I was staring at some random person, hoping they would get hit by a car, Tubbo grabbed my arm and pulled me into what looked like an old almost empty second hand store. "Wha-" I began but was cut off by Tubbo pulling me down so we were face to face. "Ranboo what's going on, calm down. You are breathing very heavily." Tubbo said in a stern voice. I didn't even notice that I was breathing fast. "I-I-" I tried to move but Tubbo grabbed my face with both of his hands. He looked me into my eyes, I expected to see anger but the only thing I saw was concern. "I- I" he gave me a small nod. "I scared." I managed to say without my voice completely giving out.
Tubbo stayed quiet for a few second and then he asked, "of what?" In a soft calming voice. "You dying." I said my voice breaking. "What if she comes back? W-what what I-if I lose you?!" I said scared. "Ranboo, Ranboo hey shhh calm down. You're not gonna lose me okay, never." Tubbo said, wiping a tear off of my cheek with his thumb. "Shhhhhhh" I closed my eyes trying to get myself together and control my breathing again. It kinda worked. I opened my eyes again and stood up straight.
Phil POV
I saw the whole thing happen but I knew I had to leave them alone. I knew Tubbo could help him calm down and I was right. If I would have went up to them and help Ranboo it wouldn't have helped, Ranboo would only get more overwhelmed. Bringing Tubbo with me to work that day was a good decision, a very good one.
Ranboo POV
When we walked back I saw Phil standing there. Oh god, I thought. I expected him to say something about what just happened, to like ask if I'm okay but to my surprise he didn't. I hate it when people do those things, like I remember when I was younger I got scared of a mannequin and fell backwards. It didn't really hurt and I was completely alright but then 2 people walked up to me and were like: "oh no are you alright, that was a hard fall, does it hurt, are you alright." And all of that kind of stuff. I didn't know why but I started crying after that.
I noticed I kept dissociating a lot. That happened sometimes, I just think a lot at those moments. I snapped out of it when Phil said something. "Hey guys what do you think of going to a restaurant, it's already getting late." He said. "YEAHH" Tubbo screamed besides me excitedly. "Well that's a yes, what do you think Ranboo?" Phil asked. "I uhh I have never been to a restaurant before, or at least not that I can remember." I said. "WHAT?! Phil we have to go now, Ranboo needs to have a nice first time!" Tubbo said. Phil started laughing. "Alright, alright we'll go." He said. Tubbo started cheering, I just sat there confused.
Phil POV
We walked to the nearest restaurant and sat down. We sat outside cause it wasn't too cold. I noticed Ranboo was a bit distant. He was sitting in one of the chairs just staring, his leg bouncing up and down. Tubbo was already busy looking at the menu.
"Here Ranboo, choose something you like." I said as I pushed the menu card into his hands. "Hmh, oh uh yeah." He said as he snapped back into reality, looking at me and taking the card.
"Have you guys made a choice yet?" I asked them. "Yeah I want the 'chick and chips'!" Tubbo said. "Ranboo?" "Uh I'll take that too." He said.
Ranboo POV
The food was served and to be honest it looked really good. I took a small bite. I don't really like trying new food but this was so delicious! I took a bigger bite, and another and another. "Woahhh calm down Ranboo, the good isn't gonna run away." Phil said. I looked up with a piece of chicken still sticking out of my mouth and everybody bursted out laughing. I almost choked with only caused everyone to laugh even harder.
Once we finished the food, Phil payed and we went home. I kept thinking back at when I remembered my mom, I kept seeing her face. Was she alive? Where could she be? I heard the car stop, we were home. I got out and rushed to the other side of the car to help Tubbo get out. We went inside and sat on the couch. It felt good to be home again, finally.
I think I fell asleep cause when I opened my eyes Tubbo wasn't there anymore. I felt my heart starting to beat a bit faster. I quickly got up and looked around. I went upstairs and even looked at our secret roof spot. Only when I wanted to go downstairs again to tell Phil, did i see him. He was sitting on the railing of the stairs. I shot forward and snatched him off. "What are you doing!?" I yelled. He looked at me and said: "I just wanted to go downstairs, okay? It's easier sliding down. Can you let go of me so I can go downstairs?" He pushed my hands off of him. "No." I said. "Absolutely not." I told him sternly. I was actually just really scared he would fall and hurt himself even more than he already was. "Why don't you just fuck off." He said. "What?" I asked softly, did I hear that right? "You heard me. FUCK OFF. I can't be alone for 2 MINUTES! You are just always there! You don't like OWN ME, I can make my own decision!" He screamed at me. He screamed at me... I said nothing and stared at the floor in front of me, fiddling with my fingers. "GOD" he yelled irritated. I flinched. I thought I could trust him, I thought he knew me... but I guess not. Tubbo got up and went into his room, leaving me alone, on the floor. I heard the door slam and curled up. I started crying. Why can't I ever do something right? I just wanted to protect him. The thing that hurt the most was that that wasn't the first time someone said that to me.
I heard someone come up the stairs. "Ranboo? What's going on, I heard yelling and a door slam." Phil asked me. I didn't respond and kept staring at the floor. I kinda shut down. "Boo? Hey are you alright?" Phil asked again trying to see my face better, then he saw the tears. Then he sat down and hugged me. I still didn't move. "Shhhhh" he said. I closed my eyes and let more tears fall, resting my head on Phil's shoulder.
Phil POV
Oh no. I thought everything was alright between Tubbo and Ranboo, I have no idea where this came from. I don't know what happened but it really upset Ranboo. I'll talk to Tubbo about this. I lifted Ranboo up from the ground, he was completely limp at first. "Come let's get you to the couch alright?" I said and he put his feet on the floor properly. We slowly moved downstairs and to the couch, his tail dragging behind him on the ground.
Ranboo sat down and I said: "here" as I put a blanket over him. He grasped it and laid down, pulling the blanket over his head. I understood that he wanted to be left alone so I went upstairs again. I knocked on Tubbo's door and said: "Tubbo can we talk for a sec." He didn't respond at first but then the door was being opened. I walked in and closed the door again cause I didn't want Ranboo hearing everything.
"What happened?" I asked. Tubbo didn't look at me. "Nothing, I didn't do anything." He said. "Tubbo I know something happened cause Ranboo is currently crying." "I just told him the truth! He can be really annoying sometimes! It's not my fault, it's his!" Tubbo yelled. "Tubbo shhh!" I whisper yelled cause I heard the creaking of the stairs. "Are you out of your mind! Tubbo you need to realize Ranboo has a lot of fucking trauma and isn't quite social cause he has been in a orphanage for years! He's trying his best. That's just his way of showing he cares about you." I told him, still keeping my voice down. He just stared for a second as if he was thinking. "Mph" he turned his head the other way. Oh my god he is so stubborn. "Just think about it alright." I said and left his room.
I went to Ranboo's room to see if he was in there but when I opened the door it was empty. Something did caught my eye, a piece of paper. I walked closer and picked it up. There, on the paper, was a drawing of a woman. She had dark skin and long even darker hair, her smile was kind. She she looked like.... Ranboo. He drew this. I quickly put the drawing back down and walked down the stairs.
Ranboo was back on the couch. "Hey do you want some food?" I asked him. He gave me a nod so I made my way to the kitchen. I made some soup and got a slice of bread, Ranboo likes to roll the bread up and dip it in the soup. I also made some Tubbo. When I gave Ranboo the bowl and the bread his face lit up a tiny bit. We both turned our heads when Tubbo entered the room. I saw Ranboo looking up at him hopefully but Tubbo just glared angrily at him and walked past, grabbed his soup and walk away.
It had been a few hours and Ranboo was staring out the window. I mean the sky was really beautiful so o don't blame him. The sun hung low and flooded everything with an orangery glow.
Ranboo POV
*THUD* "what was that?" I asked looking at Phil. "I don't know, it came from upst-" "TUBBO" I screamed as I realized. My heard beating fast as I sprinted upstairs. I gripped the door handle and push but I wouldn't move. He locked the door! "It's locked!" I said to Phil. "TUBBO! Tubbo open- open the door! Please, can we not fight anymore. Tubbo?!" I was so worried, he wasn't responding. "Here I have a key!" Phil said and quickly unlocked the door. Bursting through I saw Tubbo. He was laying on the ground, his crutches out of reach. "Tubbo!" I yelled and quickly pulled him up so he could sit normally. "Are you alright, are you hurt?!" I asked supporting his back. "Yeah, I am now, my leg just hurts a little." He answered. "Thank you." He said. "I'm sorry for saying all those things to you, cause, turns out I did need you to look after me." Tubbo said laughing a bit. I didn't know what to say so I just hugged him.
Tubbo POV
After all of that happened it was pretty late already so I wanted to sleep but Ranboo didn't want to leave my side, and honestly, I don't blame him. So I ended up going to sleep with Ranboo on a mattress next to my bed.
A few hours had past and I suddenly woke up. It was dark, I couldn't see. So I had to use my ears. I listened carefully, trying to figure out why I had woken up. Breathing, I heard breathing. At first I got scared, WHO THE FUCK IS IN MY ROOM?! But then I noticed that it was in distress, breathing fast and irregular. WAIT RANBOO! I thought, I completely forgot he was here. He must be having a nightmare.
I moved so I could switch on my nightlight. I was right, his eyes were closed and he was gripping his blanket. "Hey, wake up." I said softly as to not startle him. Only when I touched his shoulder did his eyes open. He was shaking. "It's okay, I'm here, don't be scared." I told him softly as he looked at me with fear in his eyes. I saw he was trying so hard not to cry, blinking his eyes. So I pulled him into a hug and grabbed his hand to try and stop the shakiness. I could feel his grip tighten. Then he closed his eyes and rested his head on my shoulder. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The shaking stopped.
A small "thanks" could be heard. He pulled away from the hug and smiled at me. "You okay now?" I asked. "I am. Thanks to you and Phil." He answered.
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WOOOOOOO FINALLY, I was to lazy to upload this so I just kept writing more and more.
So a lot happened. I got my Ranboo hoodie a while ago! Made a lot of stuff. The tubathon happened, watched every day of it, even got gifted a sub! Ranboo is in the uk again let's goooooo! Saw SpiderMan in the cinema. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT, I SAW SOMEONE WITH A PHILZA HOODIE IN MY SCHOOL AND SAID: "Hey, nice hoodie." WHEN THEY WALKED PAST. THEY TURNED AROUND AND I WAS WEARING A RANBOO MASK, THEY SAW AND GASPED! AAAAAAA at her that day i kept seeing them sometimes and they gave me a fist bump one time, it was awesome. Still don't know their name though.
Okay enoug about my rant, MUSIC TIME! oh god it's to much to write down. You know what, I'll just drop my Spotify. Username: Jay Wagenvoort. (Also face reveal then I guess)
Alright that's it, take care of yourself and I'll see you soon. :]
Byeeeeeeeeee!
-Jay :D