I've always been a bit of an introvert. Keeping to myself except for my small circle of friends. Growing up I spent most of my time exploring the Meadows and pond behind the school. Skipping stones and trying to shape-shift.
Lillan was always my partner in crime, while Cora and Airon tried their best to keep us out of trouble Of course, they failed. Miserably might I add.
All of that changed after the break up. Things have been awkward between me and lil. We try not to let what happened between us affect the group, but too much has happend.
Every now and then I find myself walking towards my mother's study, only to find it empty. All her things gone, even her little trinkets.
And every time i walk out, I feel a heavy guilt that i couldn't save her.
•••
Lillian walked towards me with a woven basket in her hands, a small smile playing at her lips.
"What are you reading?" She asked setting the basket down.
"The Raven" I replied looking up from the book "what are you doing here?"
She hesitated a bit but continued "I bought you some food. My mom made crepes, the way you like."
She served the plate in front of me. Taking a bite of it, I was taken back to so memories of me and mom. She made crepes this way, it was grandma's recipe.
When I didn't say anything, Lilian sighed in relief. "I know its been hard for you, this time of the year. I can't believe it's been a year since she's gone. It doesn't seem real."
"Thanks for this." I nodded, returning back to my book. I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye.
"Uh- i should go. Airon's waiting for me." She told, before leaving slowly, as if she didn't want to leave me alone.
I doesn't matter though. I'm used to the lonliness, it's a part of me. But books keep me occupied most of the time and it's not as bad as reality.
Reality that my mother is dead. And that i watched her die.