VI. fantasize being home
Exhaustion screamed at her. Her eyes felt heavy as she walked past the cells, seeing the empty or occupied beds. Mia felt unsettled as Rick led her through the prison halls. The sudden change of scenery was strange. Instead of the usual greenery that had been embedded into her eyesight was know replaced by dark and glommy walls, yet the ghostly silence was still there. Rick looked down at her occasionally to see if she was doing okay.
He led her up a case of metal stairs and motioned her down the upstairs walkway. Going further down the hall, he paused at one of the empty cells. "I'd say this one will do." He announced.
The cell was small, of course, and empty. The bed was stripped down to a simple off-white mattress. A small wooden desk was placed on the opposite wall. A simple bulb of light hung from the concrete ceiling. It wasn't much but it was a place to sleep and Mia hadn't had a place to sleep in over three years. She walked in slowly, head looking up and down, side to side.
"I know it's not much but you can decorate however you want. Whatever you need, we'll look for it on a run,"
Mia looked at him and smiled, shyly. "It's great."
Rick smiled in approval. "I'll look around for some spare sheets and a pillow. I'll also have one of our girls, Beth set you up with some fresh clothes. Her cell's just a few more down from yours."
"Beth?"
"Beth Greene. Maggie's younger sister. She's a few years older than you."
Maggie's sister. Already, Mia was curious about her. She hoped she was as kind to her as Maggie had been. She gave him a small nod. "Thank you."
Rick rested his hands on his hips and gave her a smile, nodding lightly. "Just give me a minute. I'll be back."
She watched him walk off and leave her to her lonesome self. Mia stared at the blank wall before her and ran her fingers over to the rough concrete. It reminded her of the tree bark she had gotten so used to seeing, which made her glance down at her wrapped wrists and she immediately dropped her hand. Mia then walked over to the empty bed and carefully sat down. She sighed quietly and remembered the last time she ever sat on a bed. It was her own. Minutes before her father went on a crazy rampage, minutes before she hid in her closet to block out all the noise, and minutes before she was ripped from her home and her hometown.
Thinking of her bed made her think back to the times when she woke up from nightmares, screaming and crying so loud her mom and dad would come rushing into her room. There was one specific night when she woke up crying and her dad came into her room. He crawled under the covers with her and grabbed one of the books by her bed, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and started reading to her until she fell back asleep. It was her favorite book.
Footsteps broke her out of her thoughts and Rick enter back into the cell. Mia caught a glimpse of blonde hair poking out from behind him. In his hands was a folded white bedsheet and a white pillow, along with a white quilted blanket. "Mia, this is Beth. Maggie's sister. Beth, this is Mia."
It wasn't even five seconds of seeing her that Mia found herself being envious. Long blonde hair that curled up from the heat wrapped in a messy ponytail and pale blue eyes. Her skin was fair and glistening with a thin sheet of sweat. Her smile is what Mia found herself envying most. It was a sweet smile, a smile that looked like she hadn't seen any pain or was really good at hiding it. It was a genuine smile. Just like Maggie's.
""Hi Mia, it's nice to meet you." Beth's voice radiated happiness. It was almost scary to hear.
"Hi." Mia was nervous. She saw the pairs of clothes resting in her arms.
Beth reached the clothes out to her. "These are for you. You look about my size so I think they'll fit perfectly."
Her brown eyes carefully scanned the freshly washed clothes. She stood up from the bed and took them from her arms. She touched them, the soft fabric feeling nice against her brittle fingers. "Thank you."
"Beth'll show you the showers," Rick stepped in. "I'm sure you're dying to get some sleep so I can introduce you to everyone in the morning."
She quickly nodded. "Yeah, t-that's good. Thank you, again."
Rick patted her on the shoulder, his touch gentle like Maggie's hand been. "Take your time, Mia. If you need anything, come find me or Beth. Tomorrow will be a new day for you."
A smile sat on her lips in response. Rick said goodnight to them and walked out, his footsteps echoing. Beth looked at her and gave another smile. "C'mon, I'll show you where the showers are."
Suddenly, all the dirt and grime that covered her rose to the surface and she could feel how dirty she actually was. Mia couldn't imagine how she appeared. Her short hair was mostly like in knots and her clothes were practically hanging off her body. "That sounds amazing." she admitted.
"That's exactly what I said when I got here. My shampoos and stuff are still in there so you'll have everything you need."
She was so nice. She was just like Maggie. The way she handled herself, you'd never assume she saw the horror that took place beyond the walls of the prison. The two walked side by side down the hall, the older girl showing her where to go. "How long have you been out there for?" Her Southern accent emphasized.
Mia licked her dry lips. "Almost three years."
She could see the surprise in her pale blue eyes. "Wow, and you've made it this far? You're so brave."
"I wouldn't say that."
Beth stopped her. "No, it's true. It's a catastrophe out there and for you to still be alive after all that time is admirable. I'm happy you're here."
It wasn't that her kind words made her uncomfortable. She just hadn't heard kind words like that in a while. Mia was never very good at taking compliments. Even when she was younger and her mother's friends would compliment her on her appearance, Mia always stayed quiet. This was different. Beth was someone she would be staying with, living with essentially. She didn't want to leave a bad impression on someone who could potentially be a friend. She gave her a weak smile. "Thanks."
Beth beamed and they continued to walk until the reached a door, leading into the showering hall. "My stuff is in this shower right here. Towels are on the rack by the sink. I'll leave you to it."
"Thank you."
After the blonde exited the showering hall, Mia grabbed a towel from the rack and walked over to the sink. Above it was a mirror, the glass dirty with a crack on the top. Mia nearly gasped at the sight. She no longer looked like that innocent little girl she was before the world ended. That little girl who gone and Mia didn't know if she was coming back.
The tan skin of her face was caked with layers of dirt, grime, and mud. Dried blood stuck to the sides of her head and in her hair. Her short brunette curls fell flat on her head, the feeling of dried blood and dirt making her shudder. Holes littered her old T-shirt and her blue jeans were practically brown from dirt and mud. Her small hands touched her face and slid them down slowly. The only familiar thing to her was her eyes. They were her father's eyes. Round and dark brown. Since she was small, people were always complimenting her eyes. It was like staring into the eyes of a doe or gazing into a bowl of honey. But while they remained the same, the vivacious brown was now dull and lifeless. The eyes of a lost childhood. Eyes that scanned the cracks along her broken doll like face.
The warm water spilled down her back and all the way down her body. Her wrinkled hands were placed on the showering wall and she leaned on her arm. Her eyes watched the substances on her body melt into the clear water and turn into a murky brown. The dirt faded away yet it still stuck to her. Mia scrubbed the soap over her skin until it turned a bright red. She scrubbed under the bed of her nails until the dried blood disappeared. She ran a palm full of shampoo through her hair, using her nails to scrub her scalp roughly. She scrubbed and scrubbed until she felt numb. The water didn't even look like water anymore.
She shut her eyes and let the warm mess surround her like a hug. She let the water wash away the battles stitched on her back. Her fragile bones curl within her. Blood stained the crevices of her hands and scars marked her hips. It would take a lot more than water to cleanse away the sins she had endured over the course of two years.
Mia turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. She wrapped the clean white towel around her body. She wiped away the steam on the mirror. A young girl stared back at her. Her tan skin was bright red but it was clean. Her brown curls dripped water onto her shoulders. Mia brought her hands up to her face. Her once chubby like cheeks were hallow from the dehydration and lack of nutrient. She forgot what her skin once looked like beneath the layers of dirt. She was no longer the twelve year old girl that witnessed the death of her family. That girl was gone, innocents washed away in the blood that embedded itself into her soul.
Her body went through changes in the two year period of being out in the woods. She was taller in height, not by a lot, but it was noticeable. She had grown into her face even if she still had chubbiness in her cheeks. She resembled what her mother once was. She resembled what her brother once was. Staring into the reflection of her wide brown eyes, all she could see was Lucas. All she could see was Paris. The light was gone but sadness lingered.
She touched the necklace around her neck and closed her eyes. I will live for you, Lucas. She slipped the clothes on her bare body and sighed in approval at the clean feeling. When she pulled the clean shirt over her head, she glanced down at her unwrapped wrists. The cuts were still red and visible but the physical pain was gone. She ran her thumb over them and frowned. She thought back to that moment in the woods. How she was feeling, what she was seeing. . . She thought of Maggie and how she saved her and how her, Glenn, and Daryl brought her to the prison. Mia thought of Rick's words: This place can be a home for you. She could have a second chance to live. She was brought here for a reason. Maybe, there was chance for her here with these people. Her tired mind wondered as she left the shower hall with wet hair and clean skin. I will live for you, Lucas.