Silent and alone, It drifted the Blue void of purpose.
The question lingered, how long had it existed? Or rather, how long had it traveled an endless pool of obscurity, and why? There was no life to speak of. No faces or names or friends or enemies. Its existence in itself was a mystery. And though this cascade of inquiries and contradictions amplified day by day, rattling the very fiber of its brain, ultimately, it changed nothing. Frustration and agony were concepts it remained ignorant of.
Like the sun's light and the night's darkness, its curiosity of the world in which it lived left and returned. It accepted this life for what it was and had no insipid desire to rupture the stillness. But as time continued to flow, its number of questions increased along with the infinite amount of hearts beginning to evolve.
The Blue was a cauldron of creation. As countless suns and moons slid over its head, this reality slowly crept up on it. They passed in a hurry, discarding swarms of malleable spheres that ascended to the rippling ceiling. Some chose to scuttle across the sandy dunes below, picking apart strings of green and idle corpses without discrimination. Then there were those it often spotted in the far distance, giants cloaked in shadows singing their grumbling yet gentle songs in a dialect it couldn't quite decipher. In its opinion, they were the most interesting out of everything it had seen thus far.
The group of colossus traversed their quiet abyss in the opposite direction, fanning their massive tails up and down whilst occasionally opening their leviathan-sized maws so as to absorb the unfortunate specks offering them sustenance. Despite how slowly they moved, it was as if they always left too soon. Along with everything else. Though as the sand in the hourglass poured, It eventually learned a lesson by merely playing the part of a common observer. It never interacted with not another organism yet by watching them follow invisible trails visible exclusively to their vision, they inadvertently taught it their secret of mobility. Instead of being kidnapped by rapid streams or pulled along by a tender wave, for the first time in its life, it could mold the course of its destiny.
Its muscles and limbs hardened like concrete and by conceiving the wish to move in a contrasting direction, its body obeyed. The desire materialized. Now it swam. Not carried by the undertow, but swam where it wanted. It had been granted the gift of choice. Unfortunately, this kinetic, exhilarating rush was short lived. This new ability, as revolutionary as it was, hadn't necessarily changed much. Still it was alone and without answers. Still it had no conception as to where it traveled and for what reason. The day started with it bursting through the Blue inheriting an exhilarating emotion and yet it ended with the currents doing their job, as they've always done. Carrying a motionless, deflated rogue.
More suns were ignited only to be suffocated by a sheet of black. Saline waters froze and melted. Like normal, the unmotivated It floated inside a stale stream manufacturing not a peep. That was until something caught its eye. Different, a phrase it hadn't used to describe anything for quite a while. Elevated off the sandy floor by a mountain of sturdy, calcified rock sat a vigorous beret. An explosion of color captured onto thousands of bizarre constructions possessed by the minds of many. A menagerie sitting pridefully above a darkened, belligerent pit and altruistically harboring the Blue's residents.
Here thousands of creatures of all shapes and sizes gathered. Some had teeth to rip and tear. Others had long, elastic tails that whipped the water. Most assembled in multicolored billows whilst the rest alienated themselves within spiraling and jagged constructions. It formed no questions or adopted not an ounce of hesitation. Activating its shunned muscles, a shockwave pulsated throughout the water as it burst towards the strange new sight as fast as its body would allow. A torpedo with a trajectory locked on the source of its fascination.
Entering the colorful perimeter, a rush of electricity shocked its nerves. It was surreal to be surrounded by so many faces at once. At first, it assumed it would be ostracized like the foreigner it was. On the contrary, it noticed nobody seemed to be taking a particularly keen interest in it, regardless of its status as an outsider. What was their reason, It wondered. Was it that they were anxious to interact with a newcomer to their society? Perhaps they maintained a policy of not conversing with those who they'd never met? Or maybe, its presence was simply unwelcomed. It got this very impression as it swam closer to a creature with a long, noodle-shaped body and a mouth filled with jagged knives.
It kept its head poking outside a forest of harlequin rock, fostering a fierce scowl. As It drew nearer, the emerald beast lashed the upper portion of its body forward in a burst of speed, snapping its mouth before retreating to the safety of its shadowy enclosure. Then it was gone. Next It found a collection of oval-shaped beings that were as blue as the water. Though it wasn't long before they too fled without a word, the timid horde dispersing in a sapphire detonation. Oh, what cruel irony. It was surrounded by everything and nothing at the same time.
A scorching emotion began accumulating, one that had haunted It in the past. And once the lava of rage readied to spew, It noticed it had a visitor. A sprite smaller than itself and covered in red scales with a single black stripe streaking down the rear of its head. Those large, observant dark eyes scanned It excessively as the animal curiously yet hesitantly inched closer.
"What are you?" It gulped.
Erasing its preexisting reluctance, the red animal fluttered its tiny, frilled fins and spiky tail. "A small speck in a huge pond!" he answered, swimming so closely their snouts nearly kissed. "I eat, sleep, and keep with my kin. That's my life."
"Are you happy?"
"I am!"
"What does that feel like?"
"To be happy?" he uttered in a tone of momentary confusion. "Like falling inside a cloud free of any worries or complaints. It's blissful."
This was a new experience. To have one of its many, many questions resolved delivered to It an unparalleled, tidal wave of joy. Enough for a smile to flourish, spreading from one cheek to the next. Of course, the red animal's infectious happiness did little to conceal Its ever amplifying excitement. It had the exact opposite effect, in fact. But before It could follow up with another of its questions, its new friend spun in a circle and swam towards a crowd of cowardly clones that had up until this point glanced cautiously from afar.
Reuniting with his family, the cherry cluster jetted away. Just like that, It was once again alone in a sea of strangers. Not wanting this unique feeling to fade, it hastily propelled forward with a lust for interaction. It followed another blitzing pack of animals, although these were veiled in turquoise instead of red, to a spindling, towerous structure erecting high above its head. A beacon of life.
Hordes of ecstatic organisms scaled its walls and infiltrated the many mouths and trenches decorating its crustile hide. They flourished in its festooning greens, conversed in earthen chambers, and orbited thin, flamboyant fans. Rather than joining them at the peak of the underwater skyscraper, its attention magnetized elsewhere. At the foot of the tower there was a peculiar animal lazily hovering mere inches from the cragged ground.
It lacked gills which was unusual, to say the least. Two well defined yet rubbery flippers helped it on its rocky voyage whilst smaller rear legs slumbered on either side of its short, stubby tail. Confining its innards in an impenetrable cocoon was a moss plagued brown shell decorated in rows of hexagonal figures. As it descended, It discerned the green-scaled, fortified organism's distinguished frown. Unlike most others present, it quite clearly wanted to be left alone.
"What are you?" It softly inquired.
Half-opened eye lids acknowledged Its presence. "A lost soul with ice for blood," he dryly replied, his tongue coated in mild annoyance. "I search for what tastes acceptable and stray away from the rest. That's my life . . ."
"Aren't you lonely?"
"I am."
"What does that feel like?"
"Like sitting in an empty, swollen bubble with no voices to kiss your ears. It's sorrowful."
"If you're indeed lonely, could you not find others like yourself?"
"What's the point? Eventually, they say goodbye and I'll have to deal with being alone all over again. Only this time, it'll be more painful. Don't want to put myself through that, not again."
It offered a smile. "Could I not keep you company?"
He regarded It with a stonish stare. It might have just been its imagination, but a microscopic smirk seemed to crack around its beaked head. "Maybe in another life, in another time." It didn't bother to pester the aging fossil any longer, the reptile departing silently and without a voice to cherish. Its face was kept hidden behind a mask of apathy; a futile attempt to conceal the sadness frozen underneath.
The dry atmosphere above gleamed a dark, bluish glow. Along with the disappearing sunlight, activity in the beatific vicinity also diminished. It followed once populated submerged pathways passing monuments of stone and shrunken vertebrates. Aquatic organisms retired inside bunkers barricaded with flowing tendrils cloaked in static. They peeked out holes as It swam alone, skeptical eyes more than likely pondering why it hadn't done the same. Little did they know, It had not a clue as to what it should be doing.
Typically, whenever the skies changed and its system grew fatigued, It would shut its eyes and permit the current to carry it. Why should it fret over where it was taken? Every day was more of the same. But today was different. There was no current gracing the colorful paradise and tiredness refused to cause internal malfunction. It was as awake as ever. No, it didn't want to hibernate. Not yet, at least. It would go wherever there was activity. Even if it was at the ledge of the hibernating, underwater city.
It stopped at the edge, peering over the side and down at the blackened void where it believed monsters resided. Curiosity was its friend though it could very quickly transmute into an assassin. It hadn't the courage to so willingly venture into the pits of a trench. So it would seem, It wasn't the only creature nurturing identical fears. Directly ahead of it in the open waters there was a lifeform rapidly spinning in rings. Its slender body was covered in rough, blue scales whilst sharp fins granted it solid mobility.
It watched in amazement as the breathing torpedo attired in natural armor performed complex, almost electronic maneuvers and turns with little to no effort. The powerful tail extending from its belly slapped the water with enough force to ripple galvanizing rivers across the Blue. It looked to be hunting something, instinctively chasing an invisible entity with unbridled determination to spare. But when this formidable hunter shifted a hostile gaze in Its direction, opportunity consumed those pairs of pulsating, famished eyes.
In seconds, It was face to face with the speeding demon. They were so close, in fact, It could vividly make out the rows of bleached daggers lodged into its pink gums. "What are you?" It asked. A stern glance covered its scar-ridden exterior, the monster swimming around its prey offering not a word. ". . . What are you?" It repeated, a drip of assertion in its voice.
"A beating heart with fangs and eyes and a tongue craving for the taste of crimson," he snarled. "I survive by ensuring others don't. Though with the Blue growing emptier it just makes my stomach howl, my blood boil! That's my life!"
"The Blue is getting emptier, you say?"
He nodded his snout. "Not much game as there used to be. Too many are being taken topside by the air-breathers. How am I expected to compete with hunters I barely understand?!"
"Are you angry?"
"Maybe at first, but whenever the fire above is replaced by ice and my body gets older, I can only offer a pitiful puff of indifference."
"What does that feel like?"
"Like a long, desolate hunt with no reward. Or a sack of meat with no flavor! It's disappointing . . ."
"Would your attitude improve if you devoured me?"
He recoiled, shooting It with a look of disgust. "I've never seen a beast like you. For all I know you could poison me! Not worth the risk if ya ask me. And if you are truly the most delectable morsel in this wet sapphire I'll only get upset that I gobbled up the last of your kind!"
"The last of my kind? What do you mean?"
"Don't see anyone else around here with your looks, do ya?! Or have I just gone blind?"
"I see, then maybe I could accompany you on your hunt?"
"And share what little prey there is? You're crazy. Like I'd be so naive to make such a novice mistake! Besides, I hunt alone," he growled, swimming away. "If you're so eager to sate that shiver of suicidal anticipation and loneliness, then find one to call your own!" he shouted before disappearing behind a swaying curtain of red.
And along with the blood-thirsty stranger, the remainder of the day fled as well. At the edge of this submerged kingdom was a vast open portrait of blue of which its eyes were far too familiar with. Despite the many creatures it had seen and spoken with, It started to get the feeling that maybe this wasn't the place it belonged. Some of its questions were answered, it gained new knowledge about the aquatic world veiled in mystery yet It remained just as ignorant as it had always been. So with a gentle pulling of the tide, its body deactivated. Its eyes closed, its heart slowed, and the aura of fascination it had worn since entering a colorful utopia disintegrated.
Yet again, the Blue forced it on another unwilling journey. A lonely, curious spark cruising along a silent flood, abandoning the paradise sitting atop the cliff. The only souvenirs it purchased were the words of strangers. Was it happy, It pondered. Every creature was aware of what it was and what they needed to accomplish. They lived with aspiration and It did not. This confirmation, It hoped, would have once brought him solace. What a foolish hope indeed.
More days passed.
More creatures passed.
More time had passed.
For some reason or another, it felt weaker with every disappearing sun. Although, It couldn't understand why nor did it long to find out. What only brought it comfort was when it could imprison its eyes and vanish within the confines of its mind. In fact, It was doing just that when a violent, reverberating eruption infiltrated its ears.
Shook its nerves and hollow bones. Ignited a flame of excitement ushering it out of its catatonic state. A revelation struck it. These sounds, these voices. It had heard them once before. Disrobing its drowsiness, It looked from left to right. Up and down. Desperately it longed to confirm if its suspicions were correct. For a moment, it remained alone in a vast, watery universe. Nothing new.
Then, in the distance, they emerged.
One by one, the colossal creatures swam with pride and grace. Like their size, the group was massive, there being far too many to count. It remained still in place as the giants soon began surrounding it. Normally, It would only ever observe them from afar. To be in their presence, why, it swiftly became apparent just how puny a particle it actually was. Its entire body failed to compare to even the tiniest calcified growth scattered across their undersides.
Ginormous tails clapped at saltwater, thrusting forward their hulking bodies cloaked in glistening, sun-bathed blubber. Some of the titans inched ever so close to the Blue's surface, breaching their husks into the world of air and fire. Then there were those who comfortably glided at the bottom of the pod masked with sleepy expressions. As for the smaller infants, they were kept safe from the Blue's harshness, playfully matching the pace of their mothers forever swimming at their sides. For a midget like itself, the traveling troupe of singing giants was a sight to behold.
Like always, It had a myriad of questions its heart longed to ask. But, given how small its size, it reckoned none of them would even hear it, much less provide an answer. Yet it had to try. It hesitantly paddled to the closest of the goliaths, inching ever so closely to the giant white saucer functioning as an eye. The titan's pupil shifted to the tiny guest and It responded with a shy and humble, "Wh- What are you?", making certain to lower its head in the presence of such a god.
Surprisingly enough, for being so large, when it opened its cavernous mouth, a gentle, feminine voice escaped. "What am I?" she repeated. "A traveler who has witnessed the world change its shape and nature. I cross these waters with my brothers and sisters towards a glorious future we can all share. That's my life." She spoke slowly and smoothly, It hanging on to each and every of her words.
"Are you happy or are you tired or are you angry or are you . . ."
"I am content, I would say," she answered, severing its shuttering questions midway. "If presented with the opportunity, or rather, the privilege to alter my fate I'd more than likely decline the offer. Not a thing I would change from this life of mine."
It cocked its head. "Surely there must be something you want?"
"Not really, no. My only concern is for my family. The Blue is filled to the brim with danger. Not a day goes by where I don't fret over their safety. However, should my wish involve me purging this world of those who intend to endanger us, why, wouldn't that make me selfish?"
"How so?"
"To erase all of my threats I'd also inadvertently be destroying countless lives who might not even mean us any harm, as well as those who might depend on them for survival. Beings similar to myself who have loved ones they cherish. Who they would bleed and die for. How cruel would it be to have the source of their warmth extinguished without a trace. Imagine how devastated they'd be, how alone. I wouldn't wish such a fate on my worst enemy, neither from below or above."
"I see . . ."
"I wonder, if you had a wish, Little One, what would you want?"
It froze. "Me- Me?!"
"What's the matter?" she chuckled, curving her protracted lips. "Did I catch you by surprise?"
"Surprise?"
"Yes."
" . . . I'm uncertain. Tell me, what does that feel like?"
"Like facing your reflection and seeing someone or something else. Like answering a question only to not recognize your voice. It takes you by surprise, doesn't it?" It was an interesting query, if nothing else. Paused in the water, its mind raced a marathon of contemplation. But when it reached the finish line there wasn't a trophy of realization. Nor a sliver of decision. "A hurricane of thoughts clouds your mind yet you haven't a clue as to what your heart desires," announced the perceptive giant. "Your core is ravished and confused."
"I can't answer you, oh great Traveler . . . I don't know what I want," It sighed.
"Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that you yourself have no name. No trajectory. No ambition. Why, do you even know what you are?"
"Could I become one of you?"
"You could, but a temporary escape won't provide the closure you seek. You'd be deluding yourself, closing your eyes to the truth. That's no way to live one's life."
"Not a life, no. Then again, maybe a fragile delusion is all a thing like me can ever hope to attain."
"I sincerely doubt it. It's a future unbefitting your kind."
"What do you mean?"
"Is it not obvious? How could a creature like you resign yourself to such a mundane fate? Have you remained ignorant of your blood this entire time? Despite the many sights my aging eyes have rested upon, you're unlike anything I've ever seen. You haven't flippers or fins or scales or gills. Above all else, you don't stand out in the slightest. And yet in this Blue, you are an oddity. An aberration. You are nothing special, however, this is exactly what makes you special."
"I'm special, huh? Then can you explain what it is I am?"
"I'm afraid not. That is for you to uncover for yourself. I have my journey and you have yours."
"Leaving, are you?" It concluded. "Then where would I go? No, where should I go? Is there somewhere something like me could belong?"
"Maybe, maybe not."
"That's not an answer, Traveler . . ."
"I never claimed it was, Little One," she teased. "Brave the Blue. Excavate your origin. Discover who you are. And instead of focusing on everything else and attempting to mimic a different soul, first and foremost, you must begin to understand yourself."
With those parting words, the ginormous traveler as well as the rest of her kin vanished into an azure mass. Once again, It had only itself.
The pages of Its story hastily flipped.
Seasons blossomed and perished.
Much like It had heard before, the Blue was indeed growing emptier.
The waters around It lacked color, character, and care. Blooming collages were tainted by a horrid, white plague unapologetically sweeping over vacant, cragged vistas. Lone scales danced like feathers to the sandy piles below, where unmotivated crustaceans trampled over skeletons, hurrying to steal what was left.
Even the currents lacked personality. It used to think of them as playful spirits mischievously surging it to their favorite spots in the Blue. They were responsible for forging some of its most fond memories. For they had directed It to meet new faces and concepts. And it was they that lazily carried It across a noiseless puddle.
Cerulean roads kidnapped It to a part of the Blue that felt unique from anywhere else it had visited prior. These waters were consumed by a murky haze making it difficult to breathe. Thick, grumbling shadows cascaded above its head in various directions, painting undulating trails lazily erased by an aggravated tide. Strange voices from above entered its ears, their tongues spilling phrases and words it couldn't comprehend. The monstrous infection of curiosity pulsated. Before It was aware of its own actions, its small body had strayed closer to the rippling ceiling.
The voices were louder. Low pitched purrs of V-shaped shadows roared below the waves. A loathsome taste of rust settled onto its taste buds. And crashing from the unfamiliar heavens into the sunken realm was a creature that, by all accounts, shook It with a shockwave of astonishment. A strange alien born in a world of which It knew hardly anything about. Not a single scale protected its soft, pale hull. Spindly limbs kept it afloat, elastic legs relentlessly kicking the water.
A cluster of dark, flowing thread was permanently glued to the top of its round head. Meanwhile, its pair of intelligent brown eyes were shrouded by concentration. Whatever it was, it obviously wasn't made for the Blue. Not only was it absent of scales, so it would seem nature had failed to provide it with gills as well. Every fifty seconds or so it would without fail poke its head back into its air-filled home, inflate its chest with a monsoon of wind, and plunge underwater once more.
This abnormal phenomenon pursued, perhaps a bit too long for Its liking. Regardless, It wanted to speak to the alien. When was the last time it spoke to another voice? With a golden chance practically gift-wrapped and the alien obviously longing to investigate as well, It clasped the ember of courage sparking within and lunged forward like a bullet, stopping right in front of the peculiar growth extending out the center of the alien's face.
"What are you?" It asked, praying the alien could comprehend the language of the depths.
The creature smiled and responded, "I'm human!", with a blunt sense of excitement.
"A human?"
"Yes!" he confirmed. "How about you?!"
" . . . I wish I knew."
There after It was bombarded by a barrage of questions. With every word ejecting off his tongue a swirling flock of bubbles ricoheted out his mouth. He wanted to know everything. Where It came from. What It ate. It was an interrogation like no other. "So," he babbled after briefly returning to the surface to refuel on oxygen. "I've gotta ask, are there others like you?"
Its bluish frown contrasted heavily with that of his dazzling expression. "Maybe," It humbly replied. "How about you?"
"There are thousands of me! A whole planet's worth, mind you!" he proudly exclaimed, paddling nearer. "Want to see? If you come back with me, I'll show them to you!"
Its eyes illuminated. ". . . Really? I can go with you?"
"Yes, we could be friends! What do you say?"
It froze. A part of it wanted to jump on the offer. Besides, what was there to consider? If he went with this airbreathing mammal it might be able to obtain what it had been chasing this entire time. It could be that this was its destiny. To abandon the Blue and relocate to an abnormal reality. But for a split second, a piece of Its brain restrained it with a spell of petrification. The Blue was all that It knew.
The earliest memories it could recall was that of it floating within its cool and peaceful embrace. What was beckoning for It wasn't up there but down below. Currently, It was faced with a life-changing yet simplistic choice. To leap at the chance for a meaning for existing as well as a potential family or to ignore the cards destiny presented it and take the unstable risk of proceeding its seemingly endless voyage across the mass expanse of the Blue.
And so, It arrived at a decision.
Lowering its head, It weakly uttered, "I'd love to. Truly, I would. But sadly, I must refuse."
For the first instance since their submerged exchange initiated, the human's dimpled smile faded. "How come?"
"Really, it's hard to explain. From what I can tell, you already know who you are. I can't say the same for myself. My journey isn't over. It's barely begun, in fact. It'd be remiss of me to abandon it in its infancy, don't you think?" It gave the human a prolonged, ribboned bow. Then It swam past his head and continued onwards on a lonely trek in the direction of nowhere. At first, the human tried to follow It though his design truly wasn't met for life in the water. "It is clear I am not what you are and your world isn't one where I belong, regardless of the happiness it could give me," It told the fatigued human who finally chose to surrender to the pushing abyssal zephyrs, staggeringly floating in place like a lifeless carcass. "Forgive me for my selfishness, kind Human, but I have to know the truth for myself."
"Wait!" he shouted "Can you at least tell me your name?"
"A name?" Analyzing the inquiry, she turned to face him for a final time and solemnly declared, "I'm Me, I suppose." Then the reclusive it disappeared from his vision.
Silent and alone, she drifted the Blue.