"So you're telling me I just woke up from another coma and you're just going to ship me off on another Suicide mission?"
"It was a nap and lucky I let you sleep in."
"That was a nap? For 17 hours?"
"You can ask one of your subordinates on the way to the mission."
"My subordinates?"
"I'm making you team leader this time."
"Team leader? Why?"
"You're the only one who can keep two of your teammates in line. I wouldn't send them on a mission like this usually but we need all the Gothamites we can get, including you. Now get your ass up, this is serious." Waller said. There was no use in arguing with her so I stood up before looking at the bathroom.
"I need to piss." I simply said. Waller rolled her eyes.
"Make it quick." She told me. I walked into the bathroom and splashed water on my face.
"If any of the girls are on my team they can't know about me seeing him. They can't know about HD's painting either, whatever it means. What does it mean? A road? Him blowing up? I am here? And what the hell do the symbols next to the different versions of me mean? Why we're there different versions? It doesn't make any sense! Relax (Y,N). Maybe it's a sign we just gotta do a little less emotion again." I said before my slight panic began to calm down. I stared at myself as my breathing slowed and I became more stone faced. I slowly smirked at myself before my eyes flashed red for a second. I was startled before they went back to normal and I once more gained my composure. "There we go." I quietly said before flushing the toilet and running the water to make it sound like I was washing my hands. I walked out and stared at Waller. "What's the mission this time?"
"You'll be told after we get the rest of your team." She said before we walked out of the room. We began walking down in silence for the most part to the main cells. Our first stop was at a cell with a guy covered in a bunch of horrible looking burns flicking a lighter on and off. "Garfield Lynns is an orphan with a serious case of pyromania. While his adoptive parents took his sister to various amusement parks and arcades, his misbehavior caused him to be left home, where he would sneak out and meet up with Gotham's criminal element. You probably know him best as Firefly. Burned down his old orphanage as well as many of the places his parents took his sister before being stopped by Batman before he could kill his sister. You'll have a lot to talk about." She said before opening his cell.
"Buzz off." Firefly said not taking his eyes off his lighter.
"Oh great, I love puns." I said sarcastically.
"It's your turn to fly, Lynns." Waller said. Firefly got up and walked towards us. He was slightly taller then me. He pulled out an inhaler and took a puff. He looked me up and down.
"Who's the kid?"
"(Y,N) (L,N). The Crimson Ghost. He'll be your team leader."
"Team leader!? Ha! Whatever you say, lady. But if he can't stand the heat he better get out of my way." We didn't walk too far for our next team member. There was a blue girl jumping around playing air guitar to a small radio that was playing "Live Wire" by Mötley Crüe. I recognized her from my first few days in Belle Reeve.
"Leslie Willis was a shock jock radio host infamous for her devil may care attitude and constant slander of Superman. Eventually she was fired for her inability to censor herself on air as well as for her remarks towards Superman, she was hired back to do coverage of a rock band concert, but the concert was cancelled due to being in an outdoor venue during a sudden lightning storm. She refused to evacuate when Superman asked her to and was struck by lightning. Luckily for her, she was being touched by Superman at the time and for some reason scientists still can't explain, this transformed her into living electricity. Livewire."
While Waller told her story, Livewire just kept jumping around with her eyes closed, shredding her imaginary guitar.
"Willis you're up." Waller said. Livewire didn't hear her and kept strumming. "Willis! Open your damn ears!" Still nothing. I walked over and turned off the radio. She opened her eyes in confusion before getting in my face with a growl.
"Hey what the fuck, man!? I was listening to that!" She yelled at me. "How did you even-" She looked over at the door and saw Waller. "Oh, shit. Not this crud again."
"Yes, this crud again." Waller said. We then made our way to solitary confinement and Waller opened up a door.
"Awwwww do I get to come out of time out?" Duela asked walking out with her straight jacket on.
"Wait, Duela? I thought first timers always had their first missions with other first timers?" I asked.
"Like I said. I need all the Gotham natives we can get." Waller said. Livewire burst out laughing.
"This kid!? What did she do to get into Belle Reeve!? Steal a cookie from the cookie jar!?"
"I killed 6 ugly bitches on a livestream with 7k watching and turned my old high school into the death trap Elliot Rodgers wishes he could've dreamt up." Duela said on her tippy toes to get close to eye level with Livewire. Livewire actually took a step back. "You look nervous. Is it the scars? Wanna know how I got them?"
"Some other time, Duela." Waller said. "For now we're gathering up the team for your first assignment."
"First assig... really!? I get to be in the Suicide Squad!?" Duela sounded giddy. "I promise I'll be on my best worst behavior! I'll kill anyone you want! I'll even kill some people you don't want! I'll kill everyone!"
"I thought you said she was ready?" Waller asked.
"She is. She just needs someone to push her in the right direction."
"I don't have many options here." Waller said before we continued.
"You keep saying that. What are we up against?" I asked.
"Oh god is it an alien? If it's not Superscrub I don't wanna fight an alien." Livewire said.
"An alien!? Waller, I told you I ain't fighting no aliens! I'd rot for a thousand years before I fight an alien!" Firefly interjected.
"I don't give a damn what you do and don't want to fight Lynns! And it's not an alien." Waller told Firefly.
"You look like you have been rotting for a thousand years, anyways. You look like Freddy Krueger's cock in an orange condom." Duela said. "You smell like it to."
"Duela, I honestly wouldn't be talking about that. You only just recently stopped smelling like rotten flesh." I chimed in. We then turned into D block where we saw Jane (or Hammerhead) kicking a guard on the floor repeatedly in the ribs with three other guards also unconscious.
"(L,N) is well acquainted with her but this is Crazy Jane. A meta with sixty-four split personalities and sixty-four superpowers." Waller explained to the rest. "How are we today, Hammerhead?" Hammerhead looked over at us.
"Who the fuck are you and how do you know my name!?" Hammerhead asked. She then looked at me. "This fucking cocksucker again?"
"Why Jane? She's not from Gotham." I said.
"All will be explained in due time."
"When she's being secretive like that it means it'll be one of those missions where a lotta people are gonna die including us." Livewire said.
"Promise?" Duela asked. As she asked Hammerhead turned back into Jane.
"Mission? You actually signed me up for the fucking Suicide Squad?" Jane asked me.
"You've been signed up and drafted. So I suggest you get all of your friends and get ready." Waller told her.
"And what if I don't? I've been trapped in worst places than this you don't think I can survive in here a little longer?" Jane walked up to Waller like she was trying to threaten her.
"I had an idea it would come to this with you. That's why we had a bomb put in you after you were incapacitated your first day here." Waller said keeping a stone face while Jane and I both became shocked.
"You did what!?" I asked.
"If you really believed that we would leave one of the world's greatest and mostly unknown metas in the hands of a mentally ill dropout without a backup plan you're sadly mistaken. You and the Doom Patrol have done enough damage to this country. You're going to repay your debt you owe this country, Challis. Now fall in line." Waller said. Jane regained her composure and through gritted teeth said "I'll. Make. You. Pay." to Waller before walking over to stand next to me. I kept a death stare on Waller behind her head. I thought back to her coming to the Asylum to recruit me. I didn't have much of a choice then but Jane really didn't have a choice here. She's not doing us favors she's blackmailing us into being obedient little criminals. We once again started walking before Duela broke the silence.
"Just so you know, it's not a competition." She told Jane. "So you have sixty three voices in your head, big deal. I only need two."
"Not to brag but I have Pearl Jam's discography playing on loop in my head so my voice is better than yours." Livewire said.
"Oh great, the worst Seattle Scene band." Duela rolled her eyes.
"The worst!? Now I know you're crazy." Livewire retorted.
"I wish all of you had zero voices so I didn't have to hear you talk." Firefly chimed in.We walked into "The Zoo" or the part of the prison that held all the animal-like inmates. We stopped by a cell that looked like it was converted into a snake pit.
"Hmm. That's odd." Waller said.
"What?"
"I can't tell if The Invisible Spider is in his cell or not."
"The... Invisible... Spider?" I asked.
"If you knew he turned invisible why didn't you stick a fucking collar on him?" Jane added.
"Y'know I've always wanted a pet spider." Duela said. "If I find him do I get to keep him?"
"...Yes." Waller said. I could've swore I saw a crooked smile for a quick second. Duela walked in looking around.
"Hereeeee spider spider spider! Heeeeeere-" Duela began to say before a snake man dropped down from the ceiling and coiled around Duela. He opened his mouth like he was preparing to bite but he had been defanged.
"That's enough Copperhead." Waller told him stopping him from biting, or I guess gumming. He got off of Duela and hissed. "Your turn Mr. Prince."
"Wait, Copperhead? Ain't that the scaley fuck with the foot fetish?" Livewire asked and I let a small laugh escape before I stifled it. There's no way Tara was able to spread that rumor so fast.
"I hate that fucking rumor..." Copperhead groaned.
"So I need to know anything else besides he's a snake man or does that about cover it?" I asked.
"...Yep, that's about it." Waller said.
"That's it? I am a deadly assassin of the highest renown-"
"No shit you're deadly. What kinda shitty snake would you be if you couldn't kill people?" Jane asked.
"You call that deadly? My whore of a fake mom gave me tighter hugs than that." Duela said standing up.
"So again, snake man. Anything else?" I asked. "Who'd he fight? Wonder Twins? Red Tornado? Aqua Man?"
"Fucking Aquaman? Really? What part of snake assassin screams 'Aquaman villain' to you?" Jane asked me.
"He's a Batman rogue. I've seen him at Blackgate back in Gotham." Firefly said. Everyone here has some sort of affiliation with Gotham or Batman besides Jane. I even remember hearing the name Livewire with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy during a crime spree they had one night a couple years ago. We then made our way down to Block A, aka my block. That's when I couldn't help but smile when I saw Waller walk up to Cleo's cell where she was fast asleep.
"I'm sure you're familiar with Cleo Cazo." She opened the door and leaned in. "Ms. Cazo. You're being beckoned." Waller told her. She started to stir and groaned.
"Uhhhhhhhhh can you just get me on the next one? *Yawwwwwn* I need to catch up on my beauty sleep..."
"Yeah it's fine, Cleo. We'll just go on without you." I said.
"Okay, thanks (Y,N)... (Y,N)?" She said before almost falling out of her bed. She sat up and looked at me as she pushed her hair out of her eyes. She wiped them to make sure she was seeing correctly and smiled. "Same team?" She asked me.
"Same team." I told her.
"I've never seen two people so happy to die together." Livewire rolled her eyes.
"Well that's pessimistic. I like it. They're putting the 'fun' in 'funeral'." Duela said. We started walking as Sebastian crawled up Cleo and waved at me. I saw Copperhead peer over Cleo's shoulder and lick his lips before I grabbed him by the tongue.
"Don't even think about it." I told him. He hissed at me and we butted heads while Duela started giggling.
"That's enough you two!" Waller ordered.
"We're not even outta Belle Reeve and this team is going down the shitter." Firefly said.
"Mommy, daddy, please stop fighting." Livewire said. We separated before following Waller.
"We have one more stop to make." Waller informed us. This stop was in the library as the sounds of Hallelujah, the classical song, played. At a lone table sat a guy that looked very similar to Anthony Hopkins in the mid-90s. He was reading The Art of War with a monocle by his side. One of his eyes seemed to be forever closed shut, being scared all around instead of the stereotypical straight line through it. It looked shut, but he opened it to reveal a glass eye that was colored black with a green spinning circle in it. He licked his finger and turned the page before looking up at Waller.
"Why, Amanda, is it time for another victory?" He asked.
"We've been over this, Vertigo. It's Ms. Waller to you." Waller told him. She looked back at me. "This is Werner Zytle aka Count Vertigo. A Polish serial killer turned failed Batman assassin turned War Criminal."
"Polish? Are you sure he wasn't on the other side of that considering he's a war criminal?" Livewire asked.
"If he tells me to get in a shower I'm stabbing out his other eye." Duela added.
"If we ever end up in a kitchen no one let him near the oven." Jane finished the onslaught.
"Childish insults from idiotic children. Honestly I'd be appalled considering this is almost as horrid as saying these things to a Jewish man if they came from anyone who's strongest assets weren't two spheres on their chest. Be assured I won't go anywhere near the kitchen as long as you three do your job." Vertigo told them. After which Jane turned into Silver Tongue.
"ㄚㄖㄩ 山卂几ㄒ 山ㄖ尺ᗪ丂 ㄒ卄卂ㄒ
卄ㄩ尺ㄒ? 丂卂ㄚ 丂ㄖ爪乇 丂卄丨ㄒ ㄥ丨Ҝ乇 ㄒ卄卂ㄒ ㄒㄖ 爪乇 ㄖ几乇 爪ㄖ尺乇 ㄒ丨爪乇. 乃乇匚卂ㄩ丂乇 ㄒ卄乇几," her next words came out of her mouth like blades.
"ㄚㄖㄩ'尺乇 丂ㄖ 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇ᗪ." They quickly appeared before melting like the first time I saw her, except this time she wasn't fazed. She just wanted to scare him. Jane then returned to us.
"Vertigo was not a Nazi. He did however turn against the human race and joined up with Gorilla Grodd in the Gorilla City Crisis... he also did team with Captain Nazi."
"I KNEW IT! I'M NOT TEAMING WITH A-"
"He then killed Captain Nazi while aiding with the destruction of Grodd's army from within. He claimed it was always his plan to ruin Grodd's plans from a place of trust but also accepted his sentencing, and volunteered to be set to Belle Reeve." Waller interrupted Livewire.
"I can't get a read on him and that's alarming." Duela said.
"You can read?" Copperhead asked.
"Good for her. What is she, like mentally 4? That's a big deal." Firefly said.
"Of course we had to accept as he obviously knew what Task Force X was." Waller finished her explanation. Vertigo turned off his music.
"So I take it these are my subordinates? A burn victim, an obnoxious child, a loudmouth dog all bark and no bite, a homeless woman, an overgrown garden snake, an idiot, and... school shooter?" He looked at me with the last remark.
"Mass murderer." I corrected him.
"Serial killer." Waller corrected me.
"Three people in one night-"
"Out of six planned all in similar fashion with a pattern in victims. And they aren't your subordinates, they're the serial killer's." Waller said. Vertigo looked like he was going to have a stroke.
"Him? He's team leader? I am a master tactician of the highest society! I am a-"
"Guy who makes people feel sick. Just like how he's a snake guy. Stop saying extra shit to try to sound more important than you are, it doesn't fucking work!" Jane said.
"He's in charge, Vertigo. If you have a problem with it you can just forget it and serve the rest of your 600 year sentence." Waller told him. Vertigo growled before relenting and standing up. He extended a hand to me for a handshake. I accepted it before he pulled me close.
"I'll take pleasure in watching your downfall."
"Gonna be hard to do if you lose that second eye."
"That's enough, Gentlemen." Waller said. "Now, you all know the drill. Go see Dr. Ostrander and then get dressed in your gear before going to the briefing area. Get a move on convicts."
. . .
I emerged from the room in my newer costume. It was a lot less plain than my original costumes. I designed it over the month and got a guard to spray paint a straight jacket black and cut the sleeves to only go up to my wrists. I also had "Never Gonna Get Me" written repeatedly in white marker like in the song. The inside was patted with bullet proof Kevlar. My pants had chains long like they belonged to Jacob Marley from A Christmas Carol but could be detached and turned into whips or lassos or strangling devices. My face paint now came with a red face paint to fill in the parts not covered in black paint. I didn't cover my full face yet, just the eye sockets and the skeleton teeth. All that remained the same were my gloves and... the mask. I didn't even look at it as I put on the cloak. I walked out and towards the briefing room.
"So who'd you blow to get team lead?" I looked to my side and saw Livewire standing to the side with her arms crossed. Her suit seemed pretty basic. A black tank top onesie with biker gloves and spikey wristbands and combat boots. It was after studying her for a second that I realized on her sides she had LED light ups that buzzed with a light blue light. Her hair was all pushed to one side only exposing one of her shaved sides, making her look like a groupie to a hair metal band. Finally I noticed the black lightning bolt painted under her eye.
"No one. I guess they were just impressed that I basically led two fucked up princesses with psychological issues to helping me stop Russia from nuking you and the rest of the chucklenuts in the U.S."
"Ha! Chucklenuts. I like that one." She said. "But that story sounds about as believable as me being the front woman of The Runaways."
"You could probably pull off the lingerie. Maybe in black, at least."
"And what? You'd be the one to pull it off me?" She asked leaning closer. "I'd break you."
"I highly doubt that." I said before another door opened. Jane walked out in her... "costume". By that, I mean she came out in a black bra under a fishnet top and a vomit green jacket, baggy pants and her own combat boots. "That's it?"
"I don't do superhero shit. You know this. We weren't fucking superheroes. Thinking we were superheroes got the rest of them killed." Jane said. "What're you supposed to be? The Crypt Creeper?"
"It's Keeper and no. I'm The Crim-... never mind that." I said. Firefly came out next in his suit. Giant metal (probably flame retardant) armor with a back pack on, and a helmet that resembled a bug's head. The backpack had a tube going to his mask.
"That's it? That's what makes you Firefly? A dumb mask?" Jane asked. He hit a button on a panel on his wrist and his hand turned into a gun like structure. Another tube shot out from his back pack and connected it to his gun arm as two wings shot out his backpack and his helmet closed with a yellow visor over his eyes. Flames then came out of his g- his flamethrower. It's obviously a flame thrower.
"This is what makes me Firefly. Can't stand the heat? I'll send you to Hell's Kitchen. It's cooler down there." He told her. Jane's head then engulfed in flames as she rose up and formed a fireball.
"Katy, no! That wasn't a challenge! If you hurt him there's a woman out there that's going to blow the girl's head off!" I told Flaming Katy. Jane came back.
"You don't get to use the girl as a bargaining tool fucker!"
"It's not a bargaining tool, I have a horse in the race that is your sixty-four lives now, too. I don't want you hurt."
"Well you're doing a shit job at not hurting me considering what you pulled earlier this week and if you never cleared me for this bullshit I could've lived out the next hundred and thirty years in this shithole just fucking fine." Jane told me before walking away. She was still very visibly mad at me.
"So you and schizophrenia have history? Interesting." Livewire said. After she did Duela slammed open her door.
"WHERE IS IT!?" She asked. She had heavy eye shadow on and red lipstick making a huge smile over her face and scars. She had a ripped up purple tank top that said "DADDY'S GIRL" on it and a plaid green skirt with a chain connected to it. She had a sleeveless purple trench coat on and purple gloves that want up to her shoulders. She carried a make-shift cane with a sharp grin made of blades taped to the end, kind of like a reverse scythe. She also had green thigh highs on with purple and green mismatched converses. Her hair was gelled up and messy. She seemed like a wild animal dressed up by a Hot Topic employee.
"Where is what?" Firefly asked.
"MY FACE! WHERE'S MY FUCKING FACE!?" Duela asked.
"All will be explained in due time, convict. Now get your asses to the briefing room." Waller said in our headsets. Duela angrily walked down the hall.
"Purple and green clothes, red smiley face, daddy's girl shirt? There's no way that she's-"
"The Joker's Daughter." I interrupted Livewire. "She's not really his daughter. I don't think. And we can't really prove it."
"Quinn doesn't seem that much older than her."
"Again, that might not be his daughter and she's damn sure not Harley's. They're at each other's throats all the time in Belle Reeve. Anyways, we need to get going before Waller gets really mad." I said before Cleo walked out in her own costume.
"Let's get this over with." Cleo sighed.
"What's got you so down?" I asked her.
"Honestly?" She looked at me. "I don't like the idea that I could possibly watch you die. The sooner you're back in Belle Reeve, the better."
"Awww that's cute. It makes me wanna vomit. What're you? His girlfriend or something?" Livewire said. Cleo looked at her and blinked a couple times.
"...Yes." She simply said. Livewire seemed lost for words before looking at me.
"What? She's my girlfriend." I said.
"And just like that the most appetizing meal on the menu is sold out. I'm outta here." Livewire said beginning her walk to the briefing room.
"Before you ask, as far as I'm concerned it's a no." Cleo told me.
"I wasn't gonna ask, even if she is hot." I said. Cleo shot me a glare. "Hot, not sexy. Or cute. Or kind. Or beautiful like a certain rat girl I know." I added which made her break out into a smile.
"If you two don't stop I'm going to make your hearts melt. Literally. Not figuratively." Firefly said. We marched onward to our dooms now and towards the briefing room. There we saw we were the last ones to enter. Duela was tapping her foot repeatedly and anxiously, like she had a seven year itch to scratch. Copperhead was there in full "snake garb", a scaley vest and pants, along with scaled knee pads and boots. He had a helmet on that made him look like a cobra which doesn't make any sense because his name is Copperhead. He was tapping rhythmically on his desk while going "tss-t t-tss" repeatedly to the beat. Snake jazz. Livewire was relaxed with her feet on her desk as she leaned back. Jane was slumped in her chair with her arms folded.
"How nice of you to join us, team lead." Vertigo said.
"Wow. That's what you're going with for a costume?" I asked. He had a black mask with a green swirl on it that was attached to his matching black long sleeve shirt. He also had a green cape that had the collar stuck out like he was Dracula. His monocle was completely green and covered his good eye. I walked to a seat and Cleo followed suit and sat next to me. She started playing with her hair, slouched on her desk. Firefly took his own seat by himself. We looked up to the front and Waller was standing there with a blonde woman I've never seen before at Belle Reeve, but looked familiar from the news.
"Now that we're all settled in, Task Force X meet Janice Porter, one of the acting District Attorneys of Gotham City. She has come to me with very urgent problems happening in our own backyard in a place you're all very familiar with."
"Can we skip all the drama and get to the point? You've been dragging us around by our balls all morning! What's the mission?" Livewire asked.
"Okay. I'll give you the short version and see how many questions you all have." The District Attorney said before turning on the tv behind her that a laptop was connected to. A bunch of pictures of a haunting smile that everyone knew appeared on the screen. She looked back at all of us.
"You're going to kill The Joker."