James had only very recently moved into a bungalow opposite hers, across a glistening body of water. She wasn't spying on him, not by any means, but she could see his comings and goings. She even thought they'd made distant eye contact as he settled in last night and she raised her hand to wave, but she wasn't sure if he saw. Wakanda... had a way of saving people's lives. Changing them beautifully. He deserved a real chance at having that, too.
Cleo had seen him arrive back in what was perhaps only a temporary home and she afforded him some time to settle in from his day's activities. The last thing she wanted to do was pounce on him. She watched as he came out of the bungalow and settled, however briefly, to look out at the water.
Now. Now was a good time, she hoped anyway. With her long, dark hair braided thick and pulled over one shoulder, she pulled a light sweater over her petite shoulders and slowly took the walk around the water. One foot in front of the other, her light brown eyes eventually settled on the man's profile and unconsciously a gentle smile started at the edge of her delicate features.
He noticed her quickly, likely hearing her from quite a distance, and she slowed her pace to give him the chance to shoo her away if he didn't want visitors. She held her hands low, unthreatening and offered the startlingly blue-eyed man a friendly smile. "Hi, I really hope I'm not bothering you," she greeted carefully before she began to take a few steps closer. "It looks like we're sort of neighbors. I thought I would introduce myself." There was no presumption to her voice, no judgment or preconception. "I'm Cleo. I'm the resident veterinarian, and sometimes a human doctor in a pinch."
"James," he replied simply, watching her every move. Shuri said I should talk more... that I can trust the animal doctor. James took a breath. "You're not bothering me... there's not much to do here besides chores."
Cleo laughed lightly, nodding in understanding agreement at his mention of chores. "Keeps you busy. You just moved in, I'm sure you need some time to make it your own," she said, gesturing towards the small structure behind him.
James glanced behind him at the house they were letting him use. "I don't know how to make things my own. I've never had a place to call mine since..." he furrowed his brow and stared at the woven blanket that he sat on. "Since I was a kid I think... or a teenager."
She didn't know what it felt like to be unsure of a memory. She also didn't know that it would ache this much to watch this man search for confirmation. "Well, maybe now you do," she suggested with a friendly shrug, taking the few remaining steps in his direction before she reached the edge of the blanket. She didn't sit, though. She didn't want to barge into his space. She knew better than that. Instead, she glanced around and quickly found a stump that could easily be used as a chair. "Mind if I sit?" she asked unassumingly.
James shook his head then shrugged. "It's a free country. I can't say that I make very good company though."
His response drew the smallest of laughs from her, the awkwardness of the moment making the pit of her stomach tingle. "It is a free country," she agreed, loosely crossing her arms across her chest, though not in a way to shut him out. The evenings got cooler than one would expect. "That's alright. I've spent the last five years talking to goats, rhinos, cows... any animal you spot around here has probably been subjected to far too long a one-sided conversation with me." She turned her eyes out to the water in front of them. She always found peace there. "Listen, so... you don't have to talk about it at all, but I just wanted to say...thank you for helping save the universe," she shared more quietly.
James' lips pulled up almost as if he wanted to smile but it didn't make it. "I think there are a lot of others who did more than me." A ripple of movement in the lake caught his eye as he saw a fish grab a bug from the surface. "My friend did a lot more than me."
"Well, there's only so much you can do when some gemstones make you disappear," she replied, sensing that he wasn't used to taking any sort of compliment. His shoulders were down, his eyes out to the water before them. "I get the sense that you would have been there if you could. You were there." She, on the other hand, had all but hidden. In a fight like that, a fight against aliens... they were aliens, right? Cleo found herself questioning that, but she didn't dare ask it. Whatever they were, she'd tried to do what she could with injuries that were brought back away from the fight. She was still a doctor. And then things had gone eerily quiet. "Have you seen him sense? Captain Rogers?"
"Once or twice," he answered quietly. "He has a lot to clean up from what happened. So I'm not really sure when he will be back to visit me again." James let himself smile, but it was so subtle that it could barely be seen. "He calls the palace though, once in a while. I get to talk to him."
Cleo watched his profile as he shared and that barely-there smile that whispered on the corner of his lips was enough to lighten her own expression ever so slightly. Her head bobbed in an easy nod. "Good. I'm sure he's glad to have you back." Personally, she'd never realized until the blip just how much she wanted... connection. "I'm just grateful to have people around who can actually talk back."
James found himself shrugging again. "I kind of remember him from a long time ago, but everything is too fuzzy to really have a connection with him." He sighed and ran a hand through his long hair. "I want to remember..."
Cleo couldn't imagine what that must be like, to not have a clear recollection of her life. It had to be such an isolating feeling. Her brows furrowed lightly, and her fingers played with the ends of her dark hair. "Shuri seems pretty confident, and if anyone makes a decision and follows through it's her," she shared with the older man. How old was he exactly? She didn't know. "We'll, I... I don't want to bother you, but I wanted you to know that you're not alone out here."
"Thanks," James said softly. He looked over at her, and met her light brown eyes. When he did, a sense of calm overcame him, making his shoulders loosen a bit. "It's nice to talk to someone that's not trying to get inside my head for a change."
The light brown reflected from Cleo's eyes had always brought comfort to others. Her father had told her that a long time ago, that he could find quiet and peace in her eyes. If that's what she could offer, she was glad to. She smiled a bit more and it curled up to the edges of her eyes. "Oh, I have no business getting inside anyone's head. Unless maybe they walk on four legs."
"The only one in my head as of late is Shuri," he commented. "She's trying to... remove him from me."
"Remove?" she asked, head cocking to the side a little. A small lightbulb went off after a few moments though and she put it together. "Oh, him... right." The Winter Soldier. These two men, James and the Soldier, they were two different people who lived in the same body. That was how Shuri had explained it. "Do you feel him?" she asked more quietly. He didn't have to answer.
James shook his head. "There are times I wake up and think I am him... nightmares make me relive everything as my mind remembers. Both of our memories." He looked down at his one hand, which was resting on his knee.
A faint frown crossed onto her expression as he spoke. Nightmares. Not knowing who he was. What kind of torture that must be. "I... I wish I knew what I could say," she admitted with a small, awkward smile. "If you want something to do you keep yourself busy, there's plenty of work that can be done with the animals. And they're great listeners."
"I don't... have much experience with that," James said softly. "I just know I can lift anything heavy for anyone." He opened and closed his hand a few times, feeling restless.
"Heavy lifting is perfect. I bet you'd have an easier time handling a rhino than I do," she replied with a smile. Her eyes dropped to his hand, the way he opened and closed it. She could sense something, though she couldn't put her finger on it yet. "I mean, you obviously don't have to do anything you don't want to, though." She didn't have any idea just how novel that might be for someone who hasn't been able to make his own choices for most of his life.
James nodded and looked up at her once more. Her eyes are like molten chocolate... pretty. "If you need any help, just let me know." He cleared his throat softly and watched as she rubbed her arms again. "Are you cold?"
As he looked at her, Cleo realized just how stunningly blue his eyes were. Like clear waters, unmarred by human pollution. She offered him a smile as he spoke and she nodded. "I will. Thank you." Yes, she had other people she could ask. M'Baku had served that purpose himself a few times, though he seemed to be doing it in attempts to woo her. As he asked if she was cold, she sat up a little and smoothed her hands over her arms. "A little chilly, but I'm okay. You'd think having lived here as long as I have I'd know how to dress," she replied with a self-deprecating shrug.
"I could... light a fire? If you want to stick around for a while that is," he told her. I don't sleep much anyway. It wouldn't be the first time I stayed up until I blacked out to sleep.
His offer surprised her in a pleasant way and her eyes seemed to light up a bit. "Sure, yeah... I'd just be sitting
across the lake by myself otherwise," Cleo replied, grateful for the company. "Can I help?" she asked, getting to her feet and brushing some of the escaped wisps of dark brown hair out of her face.
James nodded and stood, quickly realizing that Cleo was taller than most of the women he could remember being around. He gestured with his head to follow him before turning and walking towards where he kept what little firewood he had, listening for her movement behind him, always aware of his surroundings. "You're tall," he commented plainly as they reached the firewood. He grabbed a large piece with his hand, suddenly wishing he had his other arm so he could carry more.
She fell into step behind him and took a few quick steps to catch up. He had long legs. Strong legs. All of him looked strong. Cleo found her mind wandering a bit as she really took in his strength, but his comment made her raise her brows, a smile of amusement crossing onto her lips. "Thank you?" she replied, laughing breathily. "My dad was a little over six feet, and my mom was a tall glass of water, so I guess it's genetic." As they reached the wood pile, she bent at the waist and grabbed several pieces of wood, gathering them into her arms before she turned her eyes towards James again. "You're... also tall. And this might sound kind of weird, but you have, like... incredible hair.""
James snorted. "I don't think anyone has ever told me that before." He led her over to the ring of stones that made up his fire pit then knelt down to place the wood into it. James watched as Cleo laid down the pieces of wood she'd gathered then allowed him to set them up how he wanted them. "The matches are in the... house," he told her as he stood.
His reply, that snort that escaped him pulled a laugh out of her before she even realized it. The moment of levity, however brief, was welcome. She watched as he arranged the wood in the pit, glancing back to the small house he occupied. "Can I go in? I can get them..." she offered, taking a few slow steps in that direction. That was his home, she didn't want to invade that.
"I'll get it," he said, standing quickly. "I won't be gone long." James turned and walked the small distance to his home, then walked inside.
Cleo offered him a softer smile as he moved away from her. Okay, not ready for that yet. She reminded herself that in many ways, people were just animals walking on two legs. She turned her eyes back out to the water, light fading into swirling blues and orange. Sunset in Wakanda was unlike anywhere else she'd ever been. It wasn't long before she heard James reapproaching. "Have you ever been around this kind of quiet?" she asked, an almost musical quality to her voice.
"It's not overly quiet to me," James admitted as he crouched down, striking a match on one of the stones to light it, then tossed it into the wood before he lit a second and did the same with it. "My hearing allows me to hear things pretty far away," he explained. "But I have been in complete silence before... it's maddening."
Maddening was the right word for it. Cleo knew exactly what he meant. It had been devastatingly quiet after the first snap. Her own breaths, the sound of her heartbeat were the only things left besides the thoughts echoing in her mind. She recalled for a time seeming to have no thoughts at all. She could get lost in the quiet. She turned toward the fire as it started to catch, face aglow in the dim light of the newly born fire. "Well, hopefully here you can find some kind of happy balance." Her smile was so genuine, it was disarming to some.
"Hmmph... I don't know if happy is something that can ever happen for me," he grumbled, sitting back down on the ground.
"Wow," Cleo said with a nervous laugh escaping her before she was able to contain it. Having been alone so much in her life, sometimes her social skills carried with awkwardness. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh..." She brought her fingers to her lips and allowed them to rest there before she gracefully crossed her feet and lowered herself onto the partially grassed area on the other side of the fire. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked as she raised a brow.
James looked across the fire and met Cleo's eyes again, watching as the fire lit her up with an orange red glow. "Sure," he answered simply.
"It seems like a lot of topics might be... landmines right now," she acknowledged innocently and without judgment. "I don't want to say anything that might upset you. So how would you feel about answering an ice breaker question?" she asked with a more youthful, playful expression rippling onto her face.
"I don't mind," James answered with a shrug. "Anything's better than absolute quiet."
The smile on Cleo's face grew and she nodded, almost a little proud of herself. "Okay, so..." she began, pursing her lips as she sifted through her mind of a question. "Ooh, okay. Would you rather live on the moon or under the ocean?" she asked, head tilted to one side as she allowed her hands to settle into her lap.
James raised an eyebrow at Cleo. "That's an odd question." He looked into the flames of the fire for a few moments. "I think the ocean... there's more life there."
Cleo clapped her hands together one in agreement with his answer, nodding with almost all of her upper body. "Yes, I agree. Though those deep, deep-water fish are terrifying." She'd taken marine biology courses; she'd just gone in a more land-based direction. "What about... if you had to be a fruit or a vegetable, like... you were going to get turned into one no matter what," she explained, knowing it was silly, "What fruit or vegetable would you want to be?"
A single laugh left James' lips as he rolled his eyes. "Hell, I don't know. An apple?"
"An apple? Really?" Cleo scoffed, giving him a playful glare. "You can't be more creative than that? Are you at least a special kind of apple?" Her expression grew more thoughtful, brown eyes glistening in the flickering lights of the fire. "I'd want to be something... different. Something... special. Like... like a dragon fruit. Or a starfruit. I wouldn't be a vegetable."
"I've never eaten either of those things," James shrugged. "I do like the pink apples though. We had them at my favorite fruit stand in New York," he told her as a memory flickered into his mind.
"Pink apples. Noted," the young, dark-haired woman replied with a friendly smile. "They're both pretty mild. Dragon fruit and starfruit," she described, hands gesturing the size of the fruit as she spoke. "Actually, they kind of don't taste like much now that I think about it. Kind of bland." Cleo's nose wrinkled as she thought for a moment about what she said. "Wow, that does not make me sound very fun to be around at all. Bland, yeah... that's me," she joked.
James furrowed his brow at her. "Why do you think you're bland? You seem a lot more outgoing than me."
A laugh bubbled up in Cleo's chest and she shrugged, wrinkling her nose at herself. "I think you might be mistaking awkwardness with extraversion," she assured him. Her delicate hands rose to play with the end of her thick ponytail. "I don't know... Shuri is really one of the only people who can pull me out of my own head. She's worrying about me, I think." She chewed on the inside of her lip a little before she turned her eyes up and through the flames. Might as well be honest. "Shuri actually... encouraged me to come over here and introduce myself. So, if this encounter is horrible, please blame her."
"I'm not the kind of person to make friends with," James countered, hoping he was telling her gently. "Most people steer clear of me... unless they're a child, which I don't understand."
Creases lightly formed on Cleo's forehead; her eyes narrowed. He didn't know her. She didn't know him. But she knew she didn't agree. "I thought you didn't even really have any idea who you were," she challenged, hands dropping to rest on her knees. "He is separate. He is not you. You don't have to live in his shadow." It was perhaps a bit too forward, but the intent the sentiment carried felt too important to keep to herself.
James sighed and looked at the ground. "I'm dangerous," he stated. "All someone has to do is know the right words and I'll kill anyone they ask me to without a blink." He looked up at her again and quickly noted that she was actually quite attractive. There's no way in hell that could go well. He sighed and shook his head. "All I am is a time bomb until they can fix me. After that, I'll just be a shell."
Cleo felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs. The pain and anger she felt lingering behind his hopeless refrain made her eyes water before she could grab hold of it. She set her jaw and looked down, waiting a few moments before her lips dropped open to speak... but no sounds came out. What...what was a person supposed to say to that? "I'm really sorry..." she muttered, barely above a whisper, though he'd have no trouble hearing it.
She felt frozen in time for several painful moments, but she eventually cleared her throat and she kept her eyes fixed on the fire as she quickly pushed herself up to stand. She didn't know what else to say. She shouldn't be here. "I, um..." the dark-haired woman began to excuse. "I actually just remembered that I have to get up really early tomorrow. Baby rhino expected so, you know, that's a big job..."
All James did was nod. He was used to people leaving whenever he said the wrong thing or truly spoke his mind. "Sure. If you need me just let me know somehow," he murmured softly, staring down at the fire once more.
This...wasn't the interaction Cleo had expected when she decided to introduce herself. She hadn't come in with any preconceived notion. That had been her strategy. It felt like a sucker punch to the gut, the pain radiating to her chest and she didn't respond further. She took a few careful steps backwards before she turned and pulled her arms hard across her chest. His pain was real. She felt almost as if she could feel it in her bones as she sat across from him. His message was clear; stay away. She would heed his wishes. He deserved that much respect.
As soon as Cleo had gone and the quiet crept in around him again, James sighed and fell backwards to look up at the night sky. He already missed her company, but it didn't feel right to have someone so close. He grumbled to himself as he watched a shooting Star pass overhead. I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.