by The Silent Rain
Christmas of 1977 was a lonely one for Lily Evans. Sitting alone in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, she had never felt so desolate in her life. As she stared out the window at the frozen lake and the trees laden with snow, a tear leaked from her eye.
The first Christmas without her parents was a lonely one.
I have no home to go to, Lily thought bitterly. I have a sister that hates me, I have nothing. What's left for me?
Her parents had been killed. Not by Voldemort, not by Death Eaters, as many of her classmates hypothesized. It was a car accident. Nothing magical. So mundane and yet so deadly. She remembered the scene in her mind.
Suddenly it was August 23rd all over again.
Lily was sitting in the backseat of her parents' beat-up Ford, and the sun was just beginning to go down. She looked out the window at the golden orange sky, the hints of blue disappearing slowly, and the day would soon fade to black. Within an hour the night would be alight with bright stars, shining down on the world below.
They were driving home from the college Petunia was attending, dropping her off for her next year of schooling. They were about twenty minutes from home.
"Mum, what time are we getting home?" Lily yawned. "I'm really tired."
Her mother sighed from the driver's seat. "Lily, just sleep in the car, you'll be fine."
"But I'm exhausted, and I can't sleep in cars," Lily complained. "How long will we be?"
"Just a little longer," her father replied for his wife. He turned around and looked at Lily. "My God, you really do look terrible!"
Lily shot him a withering look. "Thanks dad."
"It's true!" he said, throwing his hands up, deliberately overdramatic. "Look at her, Emily!"
Her mother turned around from her seat. "God, Lily, when was the last time you slept? Your dark circles are—"
But Lily would never know what her dark circles were, because the next second, there was a terrible impact, the sound of metal on metal and shrieking, the smell of smoke, and then everything around her went black.
When Lily woke up, days later, she was covered in bandages at St. Mungo's Hospital. She had cried out for her parents on borderline hysteria. A sympathetic nurse came over to her. Her parents were killed.
The memory twisted Lily's heart. She pressed her face into the bedspread covering her mattress, and sobbed.
Lily had always loved snow. She was one of few extraordinary girls that basked in the cold of winter, and adored the beautiful white that blanketed the Earth for a few months a year. For the first time in her life, she was indifferent to its beauty. Nothing was left for her.
After a long time of sitting on her bed, she rose and tread down the steps into the Gryffindor Common Room. A fire was roaring, and the room was empty. She sighed quietly and sat down in one of the many plush armchairs. As she gazed out the window, a sudden noise pulled her from her despondent reverie. Someone had entered the Common Room.
Despite the fact that almost no one stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas, she bore no interest in whoever it was that had just joined her company, until a voice calling her name compelled her to turn around.
James Potter stood behind her, his ruffled black hair flecked with snow, and his impeccable complexion marred by his nose that was red from the cold outside.
"Hey, Evans," he said quietly.
"What are you doing here, Potter?" Lily asked, turning back to the window. "Don't you have family to go home to over Christmas?"
James sat down in the adjacent armchair. "Not really. I just wanted to be alone this year, I guess."
"Is that so?" Lily refused to turn away from the window, lest he see her puffy, sad eyes.
"Yeah."
There was no conversation between the two for a while, but the silence between them was not awkward. It seemed as though they were at a silent understanding that neither wanted to discuss why they were there.
After a long time, James said, "Well, do you want to do something?"
Lily looked from the window to James and made eye contact with him for the first time.
"Like what?" she asked emotionlessly.
James hesitated. "Well, we could go outside, I guess."
When Lily didn't answer immediately, he added quickly, "I always liked winter, you know, just figured maybe we could walk around outside for a bit, get out, but if you don't want to, I completely under—"
Lily stood up. "I'd love to," she said. "Let me go get my coat and shoes."
She couldn't believe herself as she ran up the stairs to her dormitory. Why was she doing this?
When she returned to the Common Room, James was waiting for her.
"Let's go, Evans," he said, grabbing her arm. "Race you to the door."
Before she could register what he said, he already took off down the corridor. She sprinted after him, but couldn't catch him.
He's so fast, thought Lily as she ran. She was closing in on him slowly, but he still had a lead. He pushed open a door leading to the snowy outdoors, and Lily followed, on his heels.
James stopped running, and Lily finished seconds behind him.
"Not…fair…" Lily panted. "You had a head start."
James laughed, breathing heavily. "Well you put up a good fight, all things considered."
Lily looked around at her surroundings. It was easily the most snow she had ever experienced while at Hogwarts. At least two feet of snow coated the ground, and the sky was still filled with clouds, heralding more of the cold precipitation.
James saw her looking around and he said to her, "There's so much snow here, but what's there to do with it?"
She started. For a moment, she had been in her own little world, alone, dreaming of better days. A single tear came to her eyes when she remembered where she was, and what was there.
The tear did not escape James's notice.
"Lily, are you okay?" He stepped towards her.
The second the words left his mouth, the real tears came.
Unable to control her sadness, Lily looked away from James. "I was fine until you asked, I suppose," she whispered softly as the tears fell from her eyes. He called me Lily…
James wrapped his arms around the crying girl. "What is it?"
She shook her head, burying her face in his shoulder.
God, I've hit bottom, she thought to herself. I'm outside in the snow crying on James Potter's shoulder. Damn this.
"Is because of why you're here and not home?" James asked quietly.
The cry that escaped Lily's lips voiced confirmation.
James hugged her tightly. "You're not alone."
She picked her head up from his shoulder long enough to look at him, her emerald eyes rimmed red and filled with salty tears. "What do you mean?"
He looked off towards the snow-covered trees. "Mine are gone. Not dead. Not alive. I don't know where they are. They disappeared last week."
Lily broke away from him, staring at him in disbelief. "You…you mean…" she started. She had no idea how to finish her statement tactfully.
"I mean that the Death Eaters have them, likely. And they're likely dead." His hazel orbs were filled with tragedy and sadness, and he found he couldn't look at Lily. "Remus and Sirius are hanging out over break together, but I couldn't bring myself to join them. I guess I just wanted to be on my own for a bit."
This time, Lily was the one to hug him.
"I'm with you," she whispered in his ear.
They stood together like that for a long time, arms wrapped around one another, saying nothing, until Lily said, "I've always loved the snow."
James looked at her, surprised. "You do too?"
She laughed lightly. "Good to see I'm not the only one. You see, when I was a kid, my sister and I would go out into the snow. We would make snow angels, and I used to catch the tiny flakes on my tongue. It was my favorite thing in the world, and I would cry whenever it melted. My mother would always come to me while I cried on my bed and remind me that soon the snow would be back, and next year there would be another winter season…" her voice trailed off.
James nodded. "I lived in London all my life. The snow melted off in the roads, and the Muggles would plow the snow from the streets, and all that would be left was gray slush on the sides of the roads. The snow falling in the city…it was my favorite sight as a kid. I'd sit out on the fire escape and watch. My father would call me back in, but I would never go in willingly. I miss being a kid," he added wistfully. "Things were easy."
The two slowly began to walk through the snow, which had finally stopped. A path had been cleared earlier that day, with only a couple inches of the flakes covering it.
They had been walking for a while when Lily suddenly stopped.
"James," she said, looking up at him.
"Yes, Lily?"
"You're not all bad now…" she said quietly. "I'm sorry for everything." She seemed unable to say more.
James silently looked down on her, and didn't say anything for a while. Finally he spoke.
"At least you don't hate me."
"I do more than don't hate you."
James cocked an eyebrow and said nothing.
"I…I…" Lily struggled to find words.
James looked at her. Without saying anything, he hugged her tightly.
"Thank you being here for me," Lily breathed. "It means more to me than you know."
James smiled in the half-light. "Good night, my fire-haired snow angel," he whispered, kissing her on the cheek. "Thank you for keeping me company. And remember, no matter what, there is always someone that loves you, and I'm always here."
And with that final parting statement, he left her.