Pete POV
I go to sit on my bed and get comfortable before continuing to read the letter.
I did not end up finding my true love, my body temperature never changed so I took that as me being free to love whomever I wanted but that doesn't seem to be the case. I later found out that it meant I did not have a soulmate and although I could love someone it would never be as fulfilling. It is also rare not to have a soulmate so the likelihood of me ending up in pointless relationships that would ultimately end in heartbreak was inevitable, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try. I was always fascinated with the concept of love, having someone that makes you feel butterflies and fireworks coursing through your body. Someone being the reason you're losing sleep since you're forcing yourself to stay up to talk to them because they are better than rest. Finding someone who makes you feel safe and protected so you can be yourself, showing them all aspects of you even the ones you hate. I knew that relationships were not going to be like fairytales but that doesn't mean that I wasn't going to try my best to get close to one.
My first attempt at a relationship was when I was in the 10th grade. Looking back I don't know why I thought looking for love at that time was a good idea when I had just found a new start. I was bullied from 2nd grade to 8th for everything in the book so my self-esteem was low and I absolutely hated myself but I thought my personality and people-pleasing ways would be enough for me to find someone decent. The thing is when it came to the thought of initiating a relationship was terrifying and I was extremely shy so the scenarios I am going to tell you about were never really planned out. There was a Japanese-inspired club that would have meetings and I would go there with a friend from high school. They kind of just threw me into their friend group so I guess I had a big group of friends although I never felt like I clicked with anyone, I was just there. Well about a month later there was a group chat with all of us and one of the guys was bored and had problems sleeping so I decided to talk to him since I was up. He didn't seem to be doing well so I asked if he was okay and he private messaged me.
"Why are you talking to me?"
"Well Jacob, you seemed like you needed to talk. I figured you could use a friend"
"Oh, well thanks. Sometimes I am just lost and not sure what I am doing."
"I get it, well I am here for you. Just let me know"
"You're really nice"
"I think you're special and I don't like you being sad so we can talk either until one of us fall asleep or one of us just stops the conversation"
"I am special?"
"I think all of my friends are special"
We went on to talk about everything and nothing until about 3 or 4ish in the morning when I believe I fell asleep. Over the next few months, we became pretty close and I was his support system. I am big on not judging people even when I know they can and should be better I try to be open-minded and just listen to people vent if that is what they need. I found myself starting to like him for a moment but he was taken at the time by a best friend so I quickly gave up that thought and tried to redirect my focus on school or anything that served as a distraction. When either he or my best friend were going through relationship problems I listened to them and tried to just be supportive. I had never been in a relationship so I was no one to give advice but if you needed an ear and shoulder or just a distraction with a conversation I was your girl. I am not sure if either ever knew how much they talked to me but I never mixed information or mentioned what the other said about them because that was information told to me in confidence.
The one thing I started not to like about Jacob is that at times he would flirt with me and I of course would shut it down because he was going with my best friend. He and her both flirted outside the relationship and honestly I don't know the dynamic of their relationship whether it was open or not but I was not about that life and I made that known. I knew in reality even if he was single we would never work because he just wanted to have a good time and live in the moment where relationships mean a lot to me so if I date you I believe we have the potential to be something serious. That was never something he could offer me and we both knew that but it didn't make it any easier to get over what I thought was my first real crush. It took a while for me to silently move on from something that never turned into anything but at times the idea seemed real and that is a lot to process. And to think this all started from the single question, "Are you okay?". This leads to how my next almost love story happened with this boy named Dominic.
A/N: Hello all! Today is my birthday, as well as Arny's so I decided to post another chapter in honor of that! Thanks to anyone who is reading this story, voting, and/or adding it to their reading list. I truly appreciate you joining me for this ride and I hope you are enjoying the story so far. Love you all and see you next time. XOXO