A/N: LISTEN TO LOVE IN THE DARK FOR THE FIRST PART OF THIS CHAPTER :)
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Aires pov...
"So, you kissed Lydia." I mumbled whilst watching the scenery out the jeep window pass, it wasn't a question but instead a statement.
"Yeah. Why, jealous?" Stiles shot back, making me snap my head to the side to look at him but before I could answer, his eyes narrowed on my neck. "Where did you get that mark?" He whispered in a deathly low murmur.
"Aiden." I shot back blankly. "Why, jealous?"
With a sigh, he lightly shook his head before forcing his eyes back onto the road. "Ree Ree-"
"No, Stiles." I snapped.
"Yes, Aires. We have to talk about it at some point."
"Why? You know it won't change the outcome. If anything you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak."
"Why do you think that Ree?"
"Because I don't love you."
It had to be said, I had to keep saying it, keep repeating it. I needed to believe it, he needed to believe it. The universe needed to believe it.
"I don't, Stiles." I continued. "And we will never be together."
"See, you keep saying that but you're not giving me a reason." He shot back at me. 'You told me you love me and I don't know about you but the way you said it sure as hell didn't sound platonic so don't give me that crap. Oh and don't you dare jump out the jeep again."
My hands dropped onto my lap as I sunk deeper into my seat, preparing myself to finally be honest with him. "I have a problem." I blurted out through gritted teeth. "Many, and- I just got confused and the words slipped out, I didn't mean them because they aren't true-"
"Let me help you! We will do it together, okay? Let your problems be mine."
A frustrated sigh fell from my lips as I shook my head frantically. He wasn't getting it, wasn't listening. And it felt as if I was running out of air.
"See, that's the thing Stiles, I don't want to fix any of them yet. Your not listening to me-"
"Why not?"
"It's too late to try and fix them." It was too late for me, I was spilling too deep and too fast. "You deserve someone who loves you. Someone who isn't a mess. Someone who has their shit together. I am not her. I'm not that person. I don't love you!"
Even if a small, small, small delusional part of me wanted to be with Stiles, I knew I couldn't be with him whilst I was still spiralling. I couldn't be with Stiles whilst I had no control of my magic, addicted to pills and alcohol, whilst I was off y meds and self destructive. And I didn't love him.
I didn't love him.
I didn't love him.
I didn't love him...
It was a mantra I continued to tell myself. Him wanting to be with me should have motivated me, given me a reason to work on myself. But it did the opposite, it pushed me away even more. And that was all I needed to know I didn't love him.
I was cursed. Everyone around me died or ended up in pain. If anything, the reasons why I couldn't be with Stiles gave me an excuse to let myself spiral even more.
"Aires, I love you."
His words wrapped around my heart like a vice, choking it until it bled. He had to keep making it harder for the both of us, had to keep fucking with my mind.
"Let me help you." He whispered whilst leaning over to take my face in between his hands. "We can do it together, Ree."
We couldn't.
"I don't know what's going on in that pretty head of yours, but I know what's going on in mine. I have loved you Aires since the day I met you. I have been in love with you for over ten years and not a day has gone by where I haven't been completely and utterly in love with you. That's why, I will wait."
"Stiles-"
"I will wait for you until you're ready, because I know that deep down, you're in love with me too."
"I'm not." I snapped, growing more frustrated by the minute. "I don't love you."
"Your lying to yourself."
"I don't love you."
"You do. I know you do. And if you're not ready now, that's okay. I can wait until you are ready. You are the most important person in the world to me. I know you better than anyone else ever will, that's why I know that you're not ready for this. For us. You still have a lot to figure out. You still need time to figure yourself out, to find out who you are."
"I don't love you." I muttered blankly with a shrug, willing him to believe me.
"It's okay, Ree. I will give you all the time in the world because I know that one day I will hold you in my arms and you will finally be mine."
"I don't love you."
"It's okay Ree. I love you. That's why I'm letting you go."
"What if I love someone else?" I snapped with narrowed eyes. "What if the words I said to you were meant for someone else?" I knew what I was doing was cruel, but being cruel was the only way I knew how to push him away.
"It's okay if you love someone else, because I love you and I know you love me."
"Your delusional."
"Aires. After this we will walk out the jeep with smiles on our faces, we will go back to being best friends until you're ready to change that. Until then, we will forget about this conversation, okay?"
"So you want to pretend none of this has happened?"
He was giving me what I wanted, to pretend as if nothing had happened between us. But the way he was doing it, believing that they would end up together infuriated me. Because it wouldn't happen. I didn't love him. I never would. And I never could. I would never let herself love him.
Even if a small part of me did.
"Yeah, baby."
Silently, and without sparing him another look, I got out of the jeep and walked away.
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Aires pov...
I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was frustrated, after Stiles jeep, something in me was wound so tight I was scared I would snap at any minute.
"I need to show you something." Allison mumbled, whilst springing from her bed and grabbing onto my wrist.
"Okay?" I whispered, my eyebrows tugged together as she dragged me through the apartment and into Chris' office. "Why are we in Chris' office?" I asked hesitantly.
"I found this." Allison whispered with an edge in her voice. Carefully, she pushed the clutter to the side and hovered a UV light above the desk.
"Okay, what the fuck is that?" I questioned nervously whilst staring down at lord knows what.
"I came in here to talk to him before school and he placed a book over the map like he was trying to hide something. So after he left I came back in and grabbed this light to see what the hell was on it, just like you taught to me to do when investigating hidden things."
A smirk tugged onto my lips as I nodded my head in approval, however it was quickly wiped away. "Wait, these marks, there's something familiar about them." They we're all places I had heard in the news recently. "It's where the bodies were found, where there were sacrifices."
"See, that's what I thought, but there's more. The symbols represent different things. Where someone was taken and where the bodies were found. He's been keeping track of all of it. And here's the scary part, there have been six sacrifices, right?"
"Yeah, but there's twelve marks on the map." Horror suddenly filled my eyes as I slowly backed away from the desk. "Oh my god." I whispered in disbelief.
Staring at the desk, I felt sick to my fucking stomach. I didn't know what the fuck I was looking at, why, or what it meant. But I refused to believe it.
"He knows where the bodies are going to be found." I whispered slowly.
"I know." Allison mumbled before shuffling the objects back into place.
"Holy shit, Alli. You have to call Scott, Deaton could be in one of these places."
"I know, that's why I already called him, he's seen it."
"So why are you showing me?"
"Because I think that he's been lying to us since before we came back." She muttered.
"He's been lying this whole time- he skipped out on our deal."
Me and Alli weren't the only ones who broke our promises.
"He knows something, something we don't."
"He's not the darach." I snapped before, giving the girl a hard glare.
"Ree, I'm not saying he is, but we can't just rule out the idea that he's not involved with this. Look at this, it's proof he knows something, he's ahead of us."
"Not for long. We are getting ahead, I'm gonna figure it out."
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Aires pov...
I needed drugs.
I needed something.
I had been wound up so tight with frustration from never ending problems that I was sure I was going to explode. I needed something to make it stop. I needed a minute of fucking peace.
"Fuck." I hissed whilst throwing a book across the room and straight into the wall.
I wasn't going to be able to research until I gave in. I was desperate to find a pattern, to finally work out everything, to find Deaton. Jumping up from my bed, I stormed across my room, only to stop in front of my mirror. Guilt prickled at my chest when I assessed myself, I could be doing more.
There was more I could have been doing.
Snatching up my phone, I dialled Isaac's number, only for it to go straight to voicemail. With a sigh, I typed in Dereks, getting the same result. Nobody was answering their phone, not even Stiles. And I was pissed. Finally, I tried Cora.
"Aires I can't talk right now." Cora immediately screamed into the speaker, bringing a scowl to my face.
"What's going on? Have you found something? Where are you?"
"Just stay out of it, okay?" She hissed.
Cora was never snappy with me, ever.
"What do you mean 'just stay out of it'?" I demanded. "What the hell is going on!"
"We don't have time for your breakdowns right now." She shot back. "We found something, something important and we don't need you ruining it."
Her words ripped open my soul, tearing it in half and leaving me with a lump in my throat that refused to let me speak. I hadn't done anything to her, hadn't pissed her off, hadn't done a single thing. And yet she was being cruel.
"Ruining it?" I echoed.
I was just wanting to help.
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT AIRES! THE LAST THING WE NEED IS FOR YOU TO HAVE ANOTHER BREAKDOWN AND RUIN WHAT WE HAVE FOUND, OKAY? GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE-"
"Just hang up and come here, Cora."
Stiles.
The pain was richoeting through me, ripping apart the last of my shredded soul. I was a problem, one that my friends were now sick of. They didn't trust me anymore, nobody did. And how could I blame them?
Why should they trust me? I was nothing. I was worthless, I was a problem. I was sick of myself just as much as they were. I couldn't blame them for feeling the way I felt about myself, I couldn't even blame them for voicing it. Being hated wasn't a new feeling for me, I had been hated my whole life. By my family, the world.
I hated myself.
"Fuck!" I suddenly screamed before throwing my phone to the side.
"Are you always this pissed after a phone call?" Aiden suddenly muttered from behind me, making my eyes flutter closed as I resisted the urge to scream my lungs out.
Anger shook through my body as I kept my fists tightly clenched by my sides. "Go away."
"That's no way to treat a guest."
"Go away." I muttered again.
"Aires-"
"GO AWAY." I screamed, and it was only when I opened my eyes that I saw the mess I had made with my magic.
I had shattered everything.
Cora was right, I was a mess.
"Aires." Aiden snapped, making my gaze flicker to him.
"Aiden, leave." I warned.
"Talk to me."
"They don't trust me." I blurted out whilst frustratedly running my fingers through my hair.
"Who, baby? Give me names."
"My friends, my family. None of them trust me. They don't see me as a person anymore, just as a ticking time bomb instead." I admitted, knowing that if anyone was going to get it, it would be him.
"You're not a ticking time bomb." He shot back.
"Yeah, I actually kinda am." I hummed with a shrug, my voice void of emotion.
Before Aiden could protest against my words, my phone rang and with a sigh, I stormed across my room and snatched it up.
"What?"
"Aires." Isaac's worried voice whispered through the speaker, sending a spark of panic through me.
"What's wrong?" I demanded. "What's happening?"
"It went wrong. The plan went wrong-"
"ISAAC. MORE WORDS. WHAT PLAN?"
"The alpha pack, they are here already."
"What are you talking about?"
"Enis died. Derek lived. He has to kill his pack and join them or they will kill him. We- we had a plan. We knew what we were gonna do. But- but..."
"ISAAC!"
I knew what was going to happen, that something bad was going on. Without thinking about it, I grabbed a hold of Aiden's hand and pulled him out of the apartment with me.
"They figured it out. They are here to kill Derek, or someone."
"No."
I couldn't do it, I couldn't lose my brother again.
"What do you need me to do?" I asked, ready to throw myself into the danger, ready to do whatever it is they needed doing.
"Turn on the power."
"On it."
After hanging up the call and jumping into Aidens car, I turned to the boy with a scowl. "Where the fuck is your brother?"
"I don't know. Deucalion gave him a task, I don't know what it is."
"DID YOU KNOW?"
"No. I knew they were going to attack soon but I didn't know when."
"Why? Why didn't they tell you?"
"Because they don't trust me."
"Oh yeah?" I shot back. "Well I don't trust you either."
"Aires. I swear I didn't know they were attacking tonight, I promise-"
"Just shut up, you're helping me fix this and if you don't, I'll kill you. Got it?"
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Aires pov...
The car journey to the loft was silent, leaving me with only my thoughts. Stiles' words replayed in my head, he didn't trust me anymore. It shouldn't hurt me, but it did. If Stiles didn't trust me, then I knew I really was becoming a problem.
Pushing the thoughts aside, I forced myself to focus on the real problem in front of me, the one I had the power to fix.
"Stay quiet and by my side. Got it?" I mumbled before jumping out of the car and sprinting into the loft
It was one task, one task we had to do, one task to save everyone. Forcing myself to run faster than ever before, me and Aiden raced, side by side, through the building.
"Here." Aiden called before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards a closet.
Just as we swung open the door though, we came face to face with Stiles and Cora, sending a chill through me as their words echoed in my mind. His eyes instantly locked onto me, and only me. But mine weren't on him. I refused to let them be.
"WHICH SWITCH?" Cora yelled from the side.
"ALL OF THEM!" I shot back, making my presence known. "Sorry to break up your little mission but Isaac called me."
"Ree." Stiles pleaded, but I didn't care for what he had to say.
"This conversation is over." I snapped before turning on my heel. "Come on." I mumbled to Aiden whilst pulling him towards where the chaos would be.
We were getting close, the stench of blood and sweat was in the air. As we rounded the corner, flashing lights blinded me and made a gasp fly past my lips. Strong arms quickly wrapped around me, concealing me from the chaos.
"Stay down." Aiden whispered in my ear.
It was as my lips parted to protest that I heard the sound of his skin being pierced. A lump lodged itself in the back of my throat as I desperately tried to scramble out of his arms, fighting against him.
"Stop, Aires." Aiden hissed in my ear. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry."
I couldn't, I heard the sound, a sound that would haunt me. Someone was dead, I couldn't see who, or what had happened- but I knew.
"Let me go." I demanded. "Let me go-"
"Aiden. We need to go." Kali suddenly muttered, making me go limp in Aidens arms as I turned to face him.
With his eyes on me, he silently let me go, and I turned around to see Boyd dead in Dereks arms.
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I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!! IT'S THE FLASHBACK ONE AND I HAVE SO MUCH PLANNED!!
XOXO