ELIJAH
"No let me go. I need to get to him. I swear to God Wade, if you don't let me go this instant you're single."I heard Violet shout just outside the bus.
I heard more shuffling and shouting before Violet stormed into the bus having won the fight. Her eyes ran over everyone in the bus before she found what she was looking for and apparently it was me because her search ended when she saw me seated at the back of the bus. Her face changed from pure anger to a lethal smile and psycho eyes making me realize that I was done for. She stormed towards me and I immediately regretted sitting at the very back in the seat directly on the aisle.
"You are a bastard Olsen. You took it too far this time and I'm going to make you pay."She seethed.
I didn't even have time to brace myself as she immediately started beating me the crap out of me or so she thought.
Her hits weren't really that painful, I'd gotten worse but she did pack a heavy punch for a cheerleader. I didn't even try to protect myself, just let her rain hell on me. She didn't have to tell me I was a douchebag, I already knew that. Maybe Tamara was onto something when she had said that I liked the pain.
"Okay that's enough, I think he's gotten the message."Wade declared pulling Violet away from me screaming and shouting.
"No he hasn't, he hurt her and he deserves to pay."She yelled looking like she was on the verge of tears herself.
"It's okay babe, it's okay."Wade consoled pulling Violet into his arms.
He glared at me, shook his head disappointingly then carried Violet off to some seats in the middle of the bus and away from me.
I had fucked up this time, that's for sure but I hadn't been thinking. Okay maybe I had been thinking but they hadn't been good thoughts.
When I'd asked Maya to stay away from me after finding out that she had a boyfriend I hadn't actually expected her to listen but she had. She had stayed away for two whole weeks with zero contact. She made sure that we had minimal interaction which had been hard since we had the same group of friends but she had made it work. I hadn't expected it to hurt but it had and I'd found myself missing her cute shy waves, the flowers in my locker that always made me smile and the smell of her hair when she sat next to me in class.
Maya had been my whole life once and when she had come back and given me a taste of how it used to be, I had unknowingly started to get addicted again. She had weaved herself back into my heart and soul without even me knowing.
I thought I'd lost it all but then she had surprised me by asking me to homecoming in front of everyone.
I hadn't expected it at all and at first I had been happy and was going to say yes, that's why I'd taken the big bouquet of red roses and the well thought football pun but then everything changed in a split second.
I was standing there holding the roses and the football with Maya looking up at me with her big hopeful doe eyes when a series of images had flashed through my mind. The first one was of me sitting outside the middle school hall in the cold all alone while everyone danced their hearts out inside because no one had wanted to dance with stuttering awkward big poor Elijah. Maya and I had made plans to go to our first middle school dance together but she had left me all alone and my mom had still made me go. It was the one of many lonely moment's I'd had to endure alone because Maya wasn't there for me.
The second image was of Finn reminding me that Maya had a boyfriend meaning she had chosen to ask me to the dance instead of him and that felt like betrayal to the both of us. My logic was that she shouldn't have had a boyfriend in the first place but because she already did so she should have stayed faithful to him.
Instead of being happy Maya had chosen me over her boyfriend whoever he was, I had rejected her and her well thought out sweet homecoming proposal because I didn't want to go to the dance with a cheater.
I had immediately regretted my decision the minute I got into the bus but the damage had already been done. I knew for a fact that I was a douche bag and didn't need to be reminded at all. Of all the times I had rejected and turned Maya down, this had hurt the most and I regretted it. I couldn't take my words and actions back since the milk was already spilt so I had to tough it out.
The two coaches, football and cheerleading finally got into the bus, did a head count and after making sure everyone was in with all their gear we took off. The bus wasn't full so I had the whole back seat to myself which I appreciated since I was in no mood to talk or entertain company but people seemed to have different ideas.
Surprisingly enough Finn was the first person to approach me. He lifted his hands in surrender when he was only a few paces from me showing he meant no harm.
"I just want to talk."He mumbled looking embarrassed to even be saying that to me.
I didn't say anything, just scooted a few inches to give him space to sit down. I had long legs that's why I took the seat directly on the aisle as my legs couldn't fit behind a normal seat. Finn didn't say anything at first but I let him he, I wasn't going to be the one to break the silence. Eventually he sighed and spoke his mind.
"I want to apologize. I've been out of line the past few weeks and I'm sorry."He started but I still didn't say anything.
"I just really liked Maya from the moment we met and when she rejected me for you who doesn't even care about her, I got pissed. I took out my anger of her rejection on you and that wasn't fair to you. We might not be close but we are brothers, teammates out there in the field and today is our first game of the season and I don't want to start it on a bad rep. How we start determines the rest of the season and I want us to have each others during the game without any grudges so this is me saying I'm sorry for being a dick and I hope you can forgive me."Finn explained further.
He was being genuine, that much I could tell by how nervous he was plus he was right, we couldn't keep fighting, we were teammates.
I held out my hand for him and he grinned shaking it firmly.
"We're good, water under the bridge."I assured him.
"Awesome, one more thing. I know you are a good guy Elijah. Sure everyone might think you're a brute because of your size, how you carry yourself and how you play football but you are actually a nice guy. I have no idea what went down between you and Maya but whatever it is I hope you can fix it. She deserves forgiveness for whatever she did and you need her. Not everyone can see it but you change when she's around and not for the bad. She's good for you so if you can search your heart and forgive her, you both deserve each other, as friends or more. I can see that I don't stand a chance with her so I will back off because you at are the guy for her. You just have to step up."He advised before getting up, patting my back then leaving.
Give it to Finn to actually be the bigger man and give me solid advice. I hadn't expected that from him but I appreciated his effort and maturity. It was good that we had patched things up before the game otherwise we wouldn't have been able to properly coordinate and be good teammates during the match.
The bus was getting louder by the minute as everyone tried to talk over each other so I put on my ear pods and blasted some music. I pulled my hood over my face, lay back on the seat and closed my eyes trying to drown everyone around me out. I also tried quitting my thoughts but that didn't work out so great because they were even louder than the music.
I must have dozed off because next thing I knew someone was kicking my leg trying to wake me. They were either very stupid or very brave by trying to wake a sleeping lion. I tried to ignore them because I knew for a fact that we hadn't arrived yet and kept sleeping. A hard stomp on my foot had me growling in pain and finally waking up. My harsh words dried in my mouth when I saw a brooding Violet hovering over me glaring murderously at me. I didn't want her to beat me up again because it would just piss me off yet I couldn't fight back.
"I won't hit you so don't look so defensive, I just want to talk."She expressed and I sighed in relief.
I scooted over to make some space for her to sit down.
"Wade said I should apologize but I won't because you deserved each one of those hits and more."She started.
I agreed with her but she didn't need to know that. I did deserve to get some sense knocked into me because of how I'd behaved with Maya.
"I know you don't talk much but I need to have a real conversation with you and I expect real answers."Violet demanded.
I didn't have the heart to say no to her so I nodded.
"First of all I just want you to know that Maya told me about you guys. Not everything obviously, just some basics to keep me in the loop as to why she was going through all the trouble. She didn't want to, I made her so don't get mad at her."Violet explained.
I had already figured that out all by myself. Violet was nosey so Maya would definitely have had to tell her something about us.
"Okay now that you know that, I have to ask. Why? Why are you so mean to her Eli? She keeps trying her best to make you forgive her but you keep stomping on all her efforts. It's like you actually enjoy seeing her in pain."Violet asked.
"I don't."I denied immediately because it was the truth.
I didn't like seeing Maya in pain, it hurt me each time I hurt her.
"Then why Elijah? Make me understand why you keep hurting her over and over again with your rejection. I actually thought you were a nice guy, broody and angry sure but definitely not now especially after how you treat Maya. So I'm here trying to understand and see what she sees in you."Violet requested.
I already knew the answer but admitting it out loud to Violet would make it real. I was also scared that she would go run to Maya with what I told her. I didn't want Maya to know that she made me vulnerable.
"I promise I won't let Maya know what we talk about. I just want to understand so you have my word that no one will hear about our conversation."Violet assured me reading my mind.
I didn't trust her word completely but she also wasn't the type to give up. She wouldn't leave me alone unless she got an answer so I decided to open up to her.
"When Maya left without saying goodbye or trying to communicate with me after, a piece of me died that day and more pieces followed. I drowned when she left and barely survived. She had been my life, my savior, my everything and then she just left leaving me with nothing. Now she is back and wants to fix things but I'm scared that if we do that and she leaves again, this time I won't be able to swim to the surface. I barely survived the first time and I'm not sure if I can a second time."I admitted.
It was quiet my confession and I turned to look at Violet who looked like she was on the verge of tears.
"Oh Eli, you're making it very hard to hate you right now."She admitted with a sad laugh.
I shrugged because I'd just bared out my soul to the cousin of the girl who held my life in her hands. I didn't know what Violet would do with the information I'd given her so I hoped she wouldn't use it against me or tell Maya. I didn't need Maya knowing that she had that kind of power over me.
"She won't leave because she has no one to go back to. I'm sure you already know about her parents."Violet reminded me and I nodded.
"What about her boyfriend?"I asked with an icy tone.
"There's nothing to worry about there, trust me."Violet commented with a laugh.
"What do you mean?"I asked.
"Just like you've sworn me to secrecy, I'm loyal to my cousin too. You will have to talk to her to find out more about that. Just talk to her Elijah. You both care deeply for each other otherwise you wouldn't be hurting like you are. Talking is the only way you'll both heal."Violet advised me.
Everybody kept insisting that Maya and I should talk but I was scared about the outcome of our conversation.
"I see you don't trust me about that and its okay. Take your time but for the moment until you decide, stay away from her Eli. If she keeps trying to get closer to you, which I know she will because she is stubborn like that and still cares about you no matter how many times you hurt her, just try and be nice. Take the flowers she gives you, smile and wave back when she says hello to you. You don't have to talk to her until you're ready, just don't be mean and hurtful. I'm not sure how many more times she can take your rejection."Violet advised.
"I'll keep that in mind."I assured her because I was being sincere.
"Good but I really hope you can give her another chance. You two have so much to offer each other. You would make a cute couple too."She commented and that last statement stayed with me.
Cute couple? Couple? Sure there was no denying that Maya was drop dead gorgeous with an amazing figure but were we a good match? I didn't even know what to think about it because it would complicate an already hard situation.
"Thanks."I mumbled still unsure about our conversation.
"You're welcome."Violet said getting up to leave.
"Oh and I have something for you, let me go get it."She added skipping off to her seat.
She came back a minute later and handed me the ball and a few rose stems Maya that had done the homecoming proposal with.
"I couldn't save the whole bouquet but I saved these and the ball for you. Will you toss them out the window once I leave or will you actually keep it?"She asked.
"I'll treasure them."I assured her.
"Please do. See you around Olsen and remember, be nice or I'll shoot you dead and bury you in an unmarked grave."She threatened with a sickeningly sweet smile that failed to hide the psycho in her eyes.
I didn't doubt that Violet would do that to protect Maya so I had to be more careful around her.
"I'll try."I replied.
She smiled at me then walked back to her seat.
I looked at the football in my hand and smiled. Maya had been so thoughtful and brave with her proposal but all I'd done was be mean and stomp on her heart. I did deserve that bullet Violet was threatening me with.
Everyone was right. Maya and I did need to talk but I was still skeptical. I'd tried once to be nice but that hadn't worked out so well. I had no idea what to do next since all I seemed to do was hurt Maya.
But Violet had said something that made sense, I needed to stay away from Maya until I was ready to have a real conversation with her. I didn't want to keep hurting her so I would have to stay away until I could really face her.
I looked at the football once more and smiled to myself. Maybe that conversation would happen sooner than I thought.
I put it away safely in my bag together with the flowers reminding myself to keep one safe for preserving . I switched my music back on and relaxed. Maya would have to wait until I was back at school. After talking to Violet I was in a much better mood and hopeful of a future where Maya and I could sit down and talk it all out. We both deserved that but I had to be ready first and I would be, with time and soon.