by SiriuslyGeorgia
"I can't live like this, James!" she shouts, and that's when he fully comprehends the seriousness of the situation; when he notices the tears welling in her eyes and the unnatural straightness of her back, as if she's forcing herself upright. James can probably count the number of times she's yelled at him on one hand, most of them times back in fifth year. She typically resorts to deadly calm, which he can deal with.
He's usually good with words, he used to charm his way out of detention early all the time, but he can't think of anything to say that would make her feel better, so he just stands uselessly by the door of their flat. He was full of words barely ten minutes prior when he apparated down the street, ready to tell Lily all about their latest raid on a dark magic hotspot. He'd imagined she'd shake her head and berate him for daring to make her worry, but then she'd smile proudly and demand to know all the details.
"Do you have any idea what it's like for me at St Mungo's whenever I have to tell someone's family that they couldn't pull through after the Death Eaters attacks?" Tears are now free falling down her face. "What if that was you they rolled past me on a stretcher? I hate working there and feeling so helpless, knowing that you're putting yourself in danger and I'm not there with you." Her voice cracks on the last word and when she next speaks, he can barely hear her. It's almost worse than the yelling. "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it."
He starts across the room towards her, desperate to at least wipe her tears, to hold her tight, but she holds her hands up and he knows better than to approach further. His arms hang limp at his side, fingers twitching. "I'm never in that much danger," he offers. He knows it's the wrong thing to say, but he doesn't know what the right thing is.
She throws her hands up. "And how would I know that? I'm not allowed to come with you," she seethes. "Because I'm more valuable at the hospital, because everything's more important than our relationship, because I'm only nineteen!" She holds his gaze even as tears trail her cheeks. "But you know what, James, so are you!" she screams the last part then lifts her hands up to her face and sobs uncontrollably. Her words aren't even aimed at him; her anger stems from Dumbledore not allowing her on the missions, even though she's on par with James on a magical level and always has been. Unlike James, though, Dumbledore isn't around for her to yell at.
The sounds of her sobs nearly break him. He steps up to her and puts his arms around her, not caring if she hexes him for it. He's almost hoping she'll hex him. Yelling and sobbing are not normal Lily behaviour, but hexing James must rank highly on her list of favourite things to do. "Nothing's more important to me than you," he tells her firmly. He doesn't know if she can hear him over the sounds of her own sobs, so he ducks his head down and whispers the words in her ear. "I'll fix it," he adds.
Stepping back from him, she lowers her hands and fixes him with a challenging look. "How?" Her voice is like steel. She must be the only person on the planet who can sound tough whilst their boyfriend wipes away their tears.
It's a good question. He doesn't know. Dumbledore seems determined to keep Lily at St Mungos, but what if they explain how much she hates it? No, they're in a war – personal preferences don't count. James knows he can't stop going on missions for the Order, they've caught so many Death Eaters already. He needs Lily to come with him – he feels her absence like a weight on his chest whenever he's away, and he has no doubt she can handle it. But how? He doesn't understand. Frank and Alice Longbottom go on missions together all the time. Oh.
"Oh."
"Oh?" she echoes dimly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That's your brainwave?"
He plants a kiss on her forehead, suddenly giddy. She stares at him like he's gone mad. Maybe he has. "Just wait there."
He speeds into the bedroom and begins throwing his socks out of his drawer.
"James," comes Lily's exasperated voice from the doorway. "what are you doing?"
"I told you to stay there," he groans, but without much feeling. She's not his Lily if she doesn't listen to what he asks only to do the complete opposite. He finds what he's looking for and holds it carefully.
As soon as he turns around, her eyes fall to his hands. Cautious understanding begins on her face.
"This isn't quite how I wanted this to happen," he explains as he falls to one knee before her. He opens the box and watches her jaw drop as she takes in the sight of the ring inside. He doesn't tell her he's kept his mother's old engagement ring in a box in his nightstand for months, waiting and wondering, but the look on her faces tells him she recognises the ring from his mother's frail hand, and the smile she gives him renders his lengthy wondering pointless. She looks, for the first time in a long time, as if no worries are burdening her.
"Dumbledore will have to keep us together if we're married," she exclaims as she plucks the ring from the box and inspects it. It's simple, a twisted silver band. "James Potter, you are a genius."
James grins. "I always wanted to get married for Dumbledore's sake."
"Shut up, you idiot," she says as she holds the ring out to him. He slides it on her finger slowly, savouring the moment. He wants her to call him an idiot every day for the rest of his life. "It helps that I'm madly in love with you, too."
"So," he begins, rising to his feet. "Lily Evans, will you do me the greatest favour in the world and become Lily Potter?"
She waves her left hand in front of his face, the ring glistens. It was a stupid question, he knows, but he wants to hear the answer nonetheless He raises his eyebrows at her and she squeals "Yes!" and throws her arms around his neck.
He puts his arms around her waist and breathes in her scent. "Remember, it's only for Dumbledore's sake," he says into her hair.
"Just for Dumbledore's sake," she agrees.
He may be muddy and sweaty from his latest brush with Death Eaters, and she may have tear stains down her cheeks and dark circles under her eyes, but this is their moment and they're the happiest couple in the world.