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"Oh, how I've missed you." Jules coos softly, referring to her neglected piano in the corner.
I roll onto my stomach and rest my chin on my folded arms as I watch her turn on the piano, then drag the tips of her fingers along the keys. She's gentle. Careful as to not fully press down on them, but to simply admire the feel of them under her touch. She slides the foldable bench out from underneath and slowly seats herself at the keyboard. I smile when her eyes flutter over to me as her hands hovers above the instrument.
"Close your eyes." She instructs me and I gladly let my eye lids shroud me in darkness.
I hear her take a deep breath in through the nose, holding it three seconds, then slowly releasing out through her mouth. Moments after that, the first note rings out in a high pitched key, a rather deeper key follows. Then, another high key but not as high as the first one, followed by a deeper key that's not as deep as the last. It's as if the notes are teetering back and forth while closing the distance in pitch at a slow accelerated pace. Then, two higher pitch notes twinkle rapidly against one another before coming to a halt.
"This piece is Nocturne number 20. In C sharp minor, by Chopin." Her soft voice lends me to open my eyes.
"There's twenty?" I question with a frown.
"There's actually twenty-one." She chuckles lightly. "But my favorite is number 20."
She cuts her eyes over to me. "Eyes shut."
I quickly comply, peeling open one eyes briefly only to notice that her eyes are now closed as well. This makes me take her request more seriously and I close both eyes and wait patiently.
She slams lightly on two handfuls of keys. The tone crescendos and builds into a melody that leaves my body tingling. It's a quiet and soft sound in the music. Smooth, connecting notes. It starts off daunting, perfectly voiced and quiet all at the same time. The depression in the deeper notes is like an echo to the higher ones. After the introduction, she starts the playing a consistent roll of deep bass notes, over which an exquisite right hand melody prevails.
The lovely music fills my ears and I let my mind wonder to what she might be feeling as she plays so elegantly. The melody is romantic and dreamy; beautiful song-like melody, with melancholic overtones accompanied by a rolling, unobtrusive bass. Her soft approach to each note cushions the sounds beautifully.
"You know..." She speaks quietly over her own playing. As the tone of the music changes, she doesn't miss a note. "I've told you before how difficult it is to express the essence of my feelings in words. It's the same when trying to express music in words. That's why I've always been drawn to the piano. I mean, it's possible to discuss it or describe them in technical terms like love, bliss, and happiness. But I think those are just basic terms for when you try to really analyze the way you feel. They don't nearly give you a glimpse of how that person really feels; their true essence."
She whispers her last words with closed eyes as her torso softly sways with the music emanating from her finger tips.
"Yeah, I touch the keys and the listener might like what comes out but people never question what emotions I feel as I play." She says, her voice taking on a low and husky tone.
I do.
Every time.
"You can never really describe what the keys are playing." Her voice comes out strained as she shifts her hands to a different spot on the keyboard to invite a completely new melody; contrary to the previous.
Is this a different song? I think as I open my eyes to visually study her as she continues to play.
Her fingers move inconsistently about the keys and the resulting music displays an antagonistic theme. Both hands inharmonious. Both hands unbalanced, at odds, and unable to coexist within the theme of a tune.
"You could say physical things, like bouncing-" With her right hand, she taps away at higher pitched keys to perform a happy tune.
"Or use weather type words, like thunderous-" With the left hand, she slams down on the deeper notes to bring out a devilishly bold chord of sounds.
Noticing how her mood has also shifted with the melody, I grow concerned for her. My heart breaking at the painful expression on her face, her eyes squeezed shut. Both hands still out of sync, I raise up onto my hands to swing my legs out and bring myself to sit at the edge of the bed. My eyes watching as she goes into a frenzy, playing loudly and rocking forward and back away from the keyboard.
"What about how I feel?!" She strains through gritted teeth, her jaw ticking as tears border along her lower lashes. "Where are the words for that, huh?!"
Her bottom lip suddenly tucks painfully hard under her front teeth as she opens her eyes to look down at her hands with bewilderment. Her breathing is choked, as if she is struggling to swallow down a still-beating heart.
Finally, her hands come to an agreement but the melody is a horrendous mess of sorrow and anguish. I feel my heart strings tug with pain as my own eyes become blurred with tears.
The music tells me that she's hurting... bad.
"Because I wanna' die... all the time!" When her throat releases this gut wrenching cry, I lunge up and reach my arms out for her.
Standing at her side, I pull her away from from the keyboard into my chest, holding her there.
"It's okay..." I whimper, feeling trembling hands wrap around me and grip the back of my shirt as she sobs into my chest.
Though her cries seem uncontrolled, the strain and seething of her breathing tells me that she is still holding something back. Holding in something that is dangerously on the verge of taking full claim to her sanity.
Hopelessness.
"Let it out, sweetheart." I recommend.
I rock us softly, rubbing my palm up and down her back, enabling her to comfortably relinquish her pain through these painful tears of hers.
"I got you, baby. I'm right here."
A few moments pass and her embrace grows heavy against me. I had been convinced of her exhaustion from the moment I saw her at the window and the guilt for that is also eating at me. I run a hand across her hair to smoothen it out before kissing the top of her head.
"Come." Leaning away slightly, I help bring her to her feet before guiding us to my bed.
Her cries have dwindled down to a light pant as I remove her shoes and pants before removing my own clothes and crawling under the covers next to her. I hush her lowly as I hold her warm body against me until she can drift to sleep. The even sounds of her breathing helps calm me down and eventually fall asleep as well.
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Half-asleep, I feel a gentle touch along my collarbone. Warm lips cover my neck in simple kisses before I feel the steam of hot breath blaze my skin.
"Jules..." I moan out when I feel the heat of her wet tongue touch my neck.
My back arches slightly as her hand goes underneath my bra to clasp my breast with a gentle squeeze. Her lips work their way to my collarbone as her hand moves down into my underwear. As her finger slowly grazes my clit, she lets out a moan.
"How are you this wet in your sleep, baby?" She questions, a smirk brewing on her lips.
"It's your fault..." I whisper, her finger sliding inside me so smoothly I feel my walls clinch involuntarily as I grind my hips into it.
"Relax." She says. "You missed me, didn't you?"
"Mmm." I moan in response as her finger works slow circles around my clit.
"Use your words." She says. "Your only response should be Yes, Daddy... is that clear?"
"Mmm, yes daddy."
"Good girl." She praises me before pressing her lips to mine.
A touch is electric, but sensuous words flow like water.
"Iyana!" I hear my fathers voice ring from elsewhere in the house. "You better be up and getting ready for school!"
"Shit." I groan as Jules retracts her fingers from my womanhood. "What time is it?"
"Time for school, apparently." She retorts as she moves to check her phone. "Six o'clock."
"Ugh, I hate my life." I exaggerate.
"Me too, but I love you, so let's get over it." Jules says before pecking my cheek. "We'll continue this later."
"Fine." I say. "I might have to sneak you out, though."
"Are your parents that bad?" She ask, moving a few strands of my hair out of my face.
My mind instantly flashes to the moment my fathers fist came across my face and I squeeze my eyes together briefly. After Jules expressed her feelings and having a breakdown last night, I just don't have it in me to tell her what he did. After all, Jules goes through much worst with her father, yet, never once has she went on a ranting spree about it. She deals with it. To her, that's just how things are right now. She pushes through and makes the most out of the things that are going well for her. She is always in the now.
"Babe," Jules breaks me from my thoughts. "Come on, he can't be worse than my dad."
"Oh, he's working on it." I mumble as I raise up from the pillows.
"What's that mean?" She questions and I pause for a second.
The thought of telling her what he did never crossed my mind until now. With what happened last night, I don't think I have the heart to ever tell her.
"Nothing-"
"Iyana!" My father shouts again. "Don't make me come up there!"
"Yeah, I heard you the first time!" I shout back.
I quickly find a sway to sneak Jules out without being caught and I get ready for school.
"Where's mom?" I ask my father as he prepares his morning coffee.
"I don't know." He responds without even looking over his shoulder. "Aren't you the one who wanted us dead?"
"Do you not remember what happened before that?" I question. "You, a grown man, punches your only daughter in the face, and now, you're tryna' gaslight me about hating you?"
"You want another one? Is that why you're still standing here?" He asks, pouring his dark drink into a cup before stepping to me.
What the fuck?
"I'm not scared of you." I scoff, gathering up my backpack.
No, James was way scarier.
"You don't gotta' be scared." He admits. "Just go to school."
We exchange glares for a moment before I finally pull away and leave the house.
Who does he think he is? Trying to intimidate me like I'm some punk here to steal his wallet.
Congratulations, dad. You're becoming a piece of shit. I think to myself, coming to a stop on the sidewalk in front of Jules' house.
I fold my arms across my chest as anger starts to brew in me and seep out like steam from my ears.
"Fuckin' stupid, dumb-dummy..." I mumble to myself as I kick a nearby pebble away from me.
"What are you so angry about this morning?" I hear Jules voice as she pops up beside me.
I jump with fright as I clutch my chest to contain my breathing.
"Don't do that!" I shout with a slap to her shoulder. "You scared me."
"I'm sorry, geez." She chuckles, leaning away as she rubs the spot I slapped. "Someone's cranky, I see."
"Let's just go, please." I say as I turn and head for her car.
"I should've finished you off this morning, released that horn demon you got in you." She jokes as she opens her drivers door.
My mood suddenly perks up at the thought of sex with her and I send her a telling look across the hood of the car.
"Take me to the lake?"
"I'll take you to moon, babygirl." She says with a smirk and a shimmer those bright, hazel orbs.
I let my eyes roll playfully as a light blush coats my cheeks and we quickly get into her car, choosing makeup sex at the lake rather than school curriculum.
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