Watching the expressions play across Kai Delaney's face—shock, confusion, amusement, consideration—I thought that I may have just made one of the worst decisions of my life. And I'd made lots of bad decisions, up to and including the decisions to date Tommy Aster and befriend Sydney Collins.
Kai's lips parted and closed again, as if he'd thought of something to say but hadn't yet settled on the exact words to use. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, had been examining my ankle until I'd dropped a bombshell on him; now, he looked at the ceiling as if it could give him the explanation he coveted.
The silence was stifling. I watched him in tense anticipation, until it didn't seem as if he was planning on saying anything, and the flurry of words fell unbidden from my lips. "I mean, it's just that... We could help each other, right? I don't really need the money for the car yet, so you could take the whole year to pay me back. And for me, well, Sydney was basically obsessed with you. And Tommy, well, quite frankly, he really fucking hates you." Kai raised an eyebrow, and my eyes widened defensively. "Don't pretend I'm not right. You and Tommy have always had this strange dude-bro hatred for no apparent reason. I always asked him about it, but he kept trying to tell me that there was no backstory, and you were just an epic dick. It seemed sort of legit to me, because you are a bit of a dick, but I always thought it was in a funny way. As it turns out, he is the epic dick."
Kai opened his mouth to reply, but I was on a roll. The Queen of England herself couldn't have shut me up in that moment. I could've talked for the goddamn Olympics.
"Anyway, they would be totally furious if we were a thing, and given that they're mega assholes, which you totally agreed with, by the way, I kind of like the idea of getting back at them. Not—" I added hastily. "That this was my idea. Do you know Madeleine? I work with her, she was the really hot chick in the year above us. Anyway, her and Cole Knight suggested the idea. And at first, I was like, 'no, Valerie, that would be stupid' and then I decided that it was stupid but worth it and... anyway, will you do it?"
I was breathing heavily by the time I'd vomited my words into the space between us, involuntarily spilling every thought that floated to the surface of my consciousness, like a tidal wave of verbal diarrhoea. I peaked through a curtain of my hair at Kai, expecting him to look taken aback. Instead, he'd slipped right back into amusement. "I have never heard anyone say so many words in such a small amount of time," he said, fascinated. "Have you considered rap? I think Eminem would give you a verse."
"I—what?" I'd... talked a lot? That was what Kai took from my impromptu speech? I mean, it was true, but the volume of my words didn't seem as pertinent as the content.
"I just don't think I ever heard you say much, other than snarky comments," said Kai, thoughtfully. "Not that you were quiet, exactly, just that you—"
"Got lost in Sydney's shadow," I said with an eyeroll. "I've heard. That's kind of the point of this... conversation. I want to put myself firmly outside of that shadow, and I want you to help me do it."
"Little Valerie," said Kai, bending closer to me. Even the ice on my ankle couldn't have cooled the burning that seemed to thrum low in my stomach. Nervousness, anticipation, and maybe even a hint of desire, because yeah, Kai might've been a bad idea, but he was a gorgeous bad idea. "Are you blackmailing me into dating you?" He didn't seem particular disturbed by the notion. In fact, he remained completely amused.
"Yes?"
Kai grinned. "Very mafia of you. I'm weirdly kind of into it."
I scrunched my nose. "That is weird."
"Says the girl blackmailing me into dating her. Pot, kettle."
"It's not quite blackmail," I said. "Don't be a drama queen. It's a favour. You don't have to do it. I'm not going to do anything if you say no, I promise. I can understand why you wouldn't want to do it."
Kai didn't respond, as if he wanted to know exactly what I had to say next. He was good at that; listening almost to the point of discomfort, lingering that tiny bit too long in the silence, when it became evident you no longer had anything to say, until the silence became too loud that you were blurting something out before you even realised it.
"I mean, of course you wouldn't want to do it," I said with a nervous laugh. "You probably think I'm insane. There are heaps of girls, like dear Marie from the park, and you don't need revenge and I'm an idiot for asking and I'm an idiot for twisting my ankle and this is all totally ridiculous—"
"I didn't realise you were a rambler," said Kai, a small smile on his lips.
I hastily closed my mouth, biting back the defensive words that I ached to spill. I gave him a small, nervous smile that did little to hide my consternation, and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
Kai's technique—remaining quiet a beat longer than expected—was surprisingly effective. After a momentary pause, Kai spoke. "So, what would this scheme entail, exactly?"
Warmth suffused itself through my body, and I couldn't help the grin that pulled my lips wide. "You'll do it?" I breathed.
Kai's eyes trailed over my face, tracing a languid path along the lines of it; my wide eyes, tiny nose, every line of my heart-shaped face and the strawberry-blonde hair that fell in waves around my cheeks. I knew the expression that was on my face, innocent and hopeful. Pleading. It wasn't natural to me—I was far more accustomed to sarcastic and biting—but I'd always been described as 'cute'. Not Hollywood actress like Sydney, but 'cute'. It's because I was small, diminutive, and my eyes were wide, with long lashes that fluttered angelically.
Kai seemed to take that all in; my complete harmlessness, my frank, guileless eyes. In moments like this, I didn't mind having the same energy as Strawberry Shortcake. In moments like this, I knew he would say yes.
And if being 'cute' meant that Kai Delaney would agree to things I asked of him, and I didn't have to stumble home with my tail between my legs, I would take it.
Kai sighed and looked toward the ceiling. "You practise those puppy-dog eyes, don't you?"
I let the expression fall from my face and grin mischievously. The way he said it was an acquiescence, an acceptance. I already knew the answer when I asked, "Maybe. Do they work?"
"Too well."
I resisted the urge to dance around the room. I thought of Tommy's face when he saw me walk down the hallway with Kai's arm draped delicately over my shoulders, anger and jealousy and desperation. I knew I would revel in it, dissolute in my pursuit for revenge. The drop in my gut at the sign of his body pressed to Sydney's was tantamount to how he would feel when he saw me with this boy.
Kai seemed to sense my impending wiggle dance for joy, and interrupted before I could break out into song like we were on the set of High School Musical. "So, what is your plan, exactly?"
A frown creased my brow. "Um, we pretend to go out. Sydney and Tommy witness it, and are consumed by fiery jealousy and rage?"
"Is that as far as you got with logistics?"
"Um, yes?"
"When do you plan to initiate this? I don't know that Tommy would believe you managed to break up with him, start a flirtation with me and enter a new relationship in the space of one weekend. That would be..." Kai looked at me measuredly. "Very ambitious."
I didn't want to admit to him that I hadn't thought beyond trying to get him on board, and the prospective feeling of triumph. So, I flicked my hair over my shoulder, and said, "Of course I've... considered it. I just didn't want to make any hard and fast rules without your input. Naturally."
"Naturally," said Kai wryly.
My mind turned over rapidly, struggling to formulate a plan that was fair to him, to me, and would guarantee success. Because I needed this to be successful. It was easier not to fall apart when I was waging a campaign of emotional warfare.
"We'll have to convince everyone the connection happened organically," I said after a moment. "That Tommy's epic assholery finally made me open my eyes to the guy who was in front of me all along."
Kai nodded slowly. "Everyone saw us together at Jack Heath's party," he offered. "I already got a few texts about it. People asking me what I was doing with Tommy Aster's girl. I didn't say too much, just that you were drunk and I was doing a favour for Cora by looking after you."
Tommy Aster's girl. Gag.
"Okay, that's good," I said. "I told Tommy that I'd spent the night with you as well, so he's sure to bring that up to other people. He wasn't exactly thrilled that we hung out."
A wistful expression crossed Kai's face. "I love the idea of a ridiculously jealous Tommy Aster."
I ignored this. "Rebecca was talking about throwing a party next week. We could go to that together; not as a couple, but just as friends. Maybe flirt a little bit."
"That doesn't sound like a hardship," said Kai.
Flirting was tantamount to breathing for Kai Delaney. Chemistry from his end would hardly be the problem; the boy exuded it in the presence of females, and it was enough to make a girl feel heady when they were with him.
I didn't address his comment, steamrolling ahead. "I mean, it's not ridiculously out of the ordinary," I said. "Everyone knows you and Cora are tight. And given my two closest relationships have imploded in epic proportions, it could make sense for us to migrate to hang out with your group at school and such. It's not like Cora and I still plan to sit with Sydney and Tommy and his boys."
Sydney, Cora and I used to sit with Tommy, Jack Heath, Rebecca and three other guys who were friends with Tom. The boys were nice, but they would stick with Tommy. I didn't think they'd agree with what he had done to me—they were too nice for that—but they also wouldn't throw him to the wolves. I wondered, absently, who Syd would sit with tomorrow.
Kai shrugged. "You and Cors can come sit with me. It would make sense for us to become a thing, if we're spending all that time together. No one would question it. And it's not as if people will expect you to spend a long time mourning the guy who slept with your best friend."
"Exactly. If I move on quickly, I can't exactly be branded the asshole."
Kai looked satisfied with the timeline. It... it really did make sense. Sydney would believe it; I knew her as well as I knew myself. Or at least I had once. I'd always called Kai a bit of a dick, made fun of his flirtatious nature. But never with malice. I found Kai amusing, and Sydney knew that. It wouldn't be a leap to believe that proximity had deepened those feelings to something... more.
I could even believe it myself; if it wasn't for Kai's staunch player status, and my complete aversion to ever being in a relationship again.
It was one thing we had in common. The thought of a committed relationship, with strings attached, made us both want to barf.
I inhaled deeply and said, "Okay, so. The other thing to addresss. Obviously, you don't exactly have the reputation of being..." I searched for the words that would make my statement inoffensive. Kai seemed to find this quite amusing, judging by the spark in his eyes. "...open to monogamy," I finished, with a little wince.
Kai didn't seem to be cut by the comment. Instead, he nodded indulgently. Kai Delaney was a player, and it was hardly a secret that he enjoyed flirting and dating, in a manner that was rather discursive.
"I wouldn't expect you to... you know," I told him.
"To what?" asked Kai.
"You don't have to remain faithful to our fake relationship," I elaborated. Kai's expression was unreadable. "If you could be as discrete as possible, I would appreciate it. But I don't think your fidelity is essential to the plan, really, so—"
"I wouldn't," Kai interrupted suddenly. "If we do this, I won't do anything with anyone else. Physically or emotionally. I don't particularly want a reputation as a cheater, even if its fake."
Despite the dim light of the room, I could still see the tight jaw, the steadfast resolve written in that sharp line. I could only remember the night of Jack Heath's party through a hazy fog, the events following Sydney and Tommy's tryst merely a blur of lights and fading words. But I recalled disgust on Kai's face. I never claimed to be. Tommy Aster committed to you. He should keep that promise.
Kai might be the kind of guy to date around, sleep around, but he wasn't the kind of guy who would lie about it.
I smiled tentatively at him. "Okay."
He just nodded.
"I won't either," I said. "Not that that would be a problem. I think I've sworn off men forever. I wasted two years of my life on Tommy Aster."
Kai grinned. "That's true. You probably need a little bit of time to figure out this thing called taste."
I whacked him with a pillow as he laughed, the sound quiet and muted, so he didn't wake his mother or Isabelle. The movement caused my ankle to twinge with discomfort, but I didn't care. I just hit him again. "Ass."
"To your credit," Kai said with a chuckle. "You're going out with me now, so you've really figured it out quite quickly."
"Oh, fuck you," I said with a pout, that quickly gave way to a smile.
"I wouldn't mind that," said Kai. "Given that I've committed to the life of a eunuch for the foreseeable future."
I rolled my eyes. "Did you miss the part where I've sworn off men forever? Or the part where this is a fake relationship?" I fluttered my eyelashes innocently. "Or the part where you're entirely insufferable?"
"Insufferable?" Kai said, raising an eyebrow. "To think that the cracks in our relationship have begun already. You really shouldn't speak of your fake boyfriend in that way, it's really making me begin to doubt our love."
I shook my head, aghast. "I have made such a fatal error."
If I was honest with myself, I knew that this plan was a mistake before it had even been set in motion. It was never going to work. Sydney and Tommy would never believe it; I could hardly believe it myself.
But when Kai cracked another grin and laughed at the shock on my face, I knew that, while it might be a foolish, fatalistic error of epic proportions, it would also be really fucking fun.