Hongjoong groaned as the sun shined through the thin curtains of felix's office. The bright beams seemed determined to wake him from his comfortable dreamless sleep like a cat demanding food from its owner, even when the small man ducked under his covers he still couldnt escape the plague of day. He tried to roll away from the flooding light, turning himself into a blonde burrito while trying so hard to fall back into the peaceful oblivion that was sleep. He felt almost comforted by the way the persistent sunbeams lightly warmed his back, reminding him of the nights he spent with Chan after a long day at work. The way that the man would wrap his arms around him and pull him close. The memories started to flood his head again as he let himself get lost in the soft warmth, for once he didnt feel like crying as chans sweet words started to echo through his head almost like a distant lullaby from his childhood. Just as he let the words fill his head and lull him back into a sense comfortablity again, his back warmed by the sweet sun and safely wrapped in a cacoon of sweetness and finally back on the very edge of sweet sleep he heard a soft knock on the door and the soft voice of his beat friend.
"Hongie? You awake?" Felix asked softly as he cracked the door slightly before peeking his head inside. Hongjoong heard the platinum blonde chuckle as he unrolled himself from his burrito.
"Now i am." The small man groaned as he stretched his sleep ridden muscles awake while his friend fully opened the door and stepped inside. Hongjoong couldn't help the small laugh that slipped past his lips as he took in Felix's thoroughly "loved" body, barely being hidden by a shirt two sizes too big on him.
"What's so funny?" Felix said as the other blonde tried to hold back his giggles long enough to answer.
"Nothing just...do you remember the conversation from last night."
"About the frogs and that one butterfly?"
"No, the one about how kinks can manifest in animals and how some kinks manifest in humans in weird ways."
"Oh that one! Yeah what does that have to do with why you're laughing?"
"You haven't looked in the mirror yet have you?" Hongjoong said as he motioned to the other man form. Felix just gave the man a small look of confusion before following his hand and looking at his body. His face exploded in a bright blush as he took in the multiple dark purple hickeys,bruises, and hand prints that littered his exposed legs. Hongjoong couldn't help but laugh as Felix burried his red face into his hands.
"Oh you poor thing. Its nothing to be embarrassed about! I just know that you just really like being....marked is all." Felix whined softly as he shot the amused man with a glare through his fingers.
"Thats not something my best friend should know while he's living with me!"
"For the time being, also thats you're fault. you could have put on pants you just chose not to."
"I wanted to be comfy! I could have just as easily woken you up naked!" Hongjoong threw a pillow at the platinum blonde as he finally got out of bed.
"Honestly, nothing I haven't seen before. I still remember the skinny dipping incident back in July Two years ago." The two couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. And what a memory it was. "Anyway why'd you come and wake me up? I thought you would've already left for work."
"Oh,I made breakfast and usually i would be gone by now but im closing the bakery for the day!" Hongjoong couldnt help but shoot the fellow blonde a questioning look at his random schduale change.
"Again, why?"
"You'll find out soon enough and I have a gift for you that we should do before joonie gets here with his gift!" Hongjoong chuckled softly as he let himself be led out of the comfort of the warm office and towards the living room. He could feel himself salivating as the secent of bacon,sausage and eggs saturated the room.
"You two didn't have to get me anything you know."
"We know but we wanted too, besides this little surprise is for all of us to remember how close we really are. As well as to show you, you never lost yourself he was just sleeping for a while!" Felix said softly as he hugged the smaller man close while walking him to the dinning table. The platinum blonde pulled out a chair and sat the man down before rushing into the kitchenette to grad the small man a plate of gold.
"So joonie is coming over? I thought the bookstore was open today too?" Hongjoong asked as Felix set his plate and silverware in front of him before settling next to him with his own.
"Joonie's was gonna also close the store for the day but he forgot that today was when the local elementary school come in to get the books from the fundraiser. So he's putting Taehyung and Hosoek in charge for the day since they don't have anything to do." Felix explained as the two felL into a comfortable atmosphere almost instantly. Hongjoomg couldn't help but smile softly as the gentle but savory flavors of the carefully prepared meal.
"Not that I don't appreciate this surprise but is it really so important that you two have to step away from your businesses for a day?"
"Of course! Look Hongie," Felix said as he grabbed the smaller mans hands. " Me and Joonie have seen you hurt and then we have seen you Destroyed. And what we saw yesterday was the latter. You need us today, the businesses are in a safe enough place where they don't need us there for a day." Hongjoong smiled softly as he looked into his friends eyes seeing nothing but guinuen concern and love swimming in them. Hongjoong pulled the other man into a sweet hug as he tried not to cry 'how do I still have some of the best people in my lifetime?'. The two pulled away with soft smiles plastered on their faces. Hongjoong chuckled softly as he finished the last bit of his food before grabbing Felix's empty plate and made his way to the kitchen.
"Anyway, I was talking to joon this morning and we thought what better way to kick off this little surprise than to do one of our favorite past times." Felix chuckled as he followed the small man into the kitchen, hiding something behind his back.
"Really?And what would that past time be? There was a lot throughout the years."Hongjoong chuckled softly as the platinum blonde rolled his eyes.
"The past time that we always used to do at four in the morning crying our eyes out about the midlest inconvenience." Felix couldn't help the sweet smile that spread on his face as he saw his friends eyes widen as he snapped his head towards him.
"You didn't!"
"But i did!" Felix exclaimed as he revealed the small hair dye boxes to the smaller male, a small laugh escaping his chest as the strawberry blonde tackled him with a hug and a happy squeal.
"You got me pastel purple! Thank you so much! You are too sweet for this world! I love you!" The small man exclaimed as he squeezed Felix one last time before finally letting him breathe.
"Surprise! I knew you'd like it! I had hyunjin run to the store for me this morning before you woke up. Now come on we are going to get you back on the streets with a bang!." Felix chuckled as he grabbed the other mans hand and led him to the bathroom. Hongjoong couldn't help the sweet smile that graced his face as he took in the dying station the platinum blonde set up for him. One side of the counter was lined with various drinks and snacks, many of which being his favorite, the other side had essentials like a new body lotion,body wash,deodorant, even a new hair dryer. Even the stool that sat in front of the mirror was cushioned with a fluffy pillow. "I may have sent him out for a little more than hair dye."
"Speaking of him, Where is Hyunjin? I want to thank him too" Hongjoong asked as he tried not to cry at the couples thoughtfulness.
"Oh,He already left for work. I had to pack up his breakfast after he got back from the store. Apparently, Jungkook and him have some pretty important clients coming in this morning and he didn't want to be late. So for the time being the apartment is all ours!" Felix chuckled as hoongjoong smiled softly.
"You know I really can't thank you guys enough for this."
"Enough with the thank you's we wanted to!" Felix said as he sat the other man down. "Besides joonie has some news that could mean you won't be here for much longer."
"What does that mean?" Hongjoong asked as he locked eyes with Felix in the mirror, the platinum blondes sly smirk making him suspicious.
"Nothing you need to worry about right now. So let's get this old strawberry blonde to a sweet sweet purple huh!" Hongjoong couldn't help but chuckle as the platinum blonde set the dye down on the counter before grabbing the new brush, ripping off the tags, before gliding it through his tangled hair. Hongjoong relaxed into the platinum blonde as he prepared his hair. 'I dont think ive felt this relaxed in years.' The strawberry blonde thought as he let his eyes shut in pure bliss and just let himself be pampered. He let out a soft sigh as felix chuckled softly be opening his favorite peaches and cream soda and handing it to him with a smile. As Felix got back to work at detangling his birds nest, Hongjoong took a sip of the sweet nector,briefly catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. The longer he let his eyes linger on himself, he couldn't help but notice how dull he had gotten. His skin didn't hold the same glow it did 8 years before. His eyes didn't shine like they used to, his cheeks weren't as fluffy and neither was his hair. 'Was i always like this when I was with Chan......or did I get this way because I lost him. Did this man really destroy me?' The small man quickly shook the thought from his head as Felix set down the brush with sigh before tearing open a pack of chips and handing the bag to Hongjoon.
"Eat. I can hear you thinking about Chan."
"Stop doing that!" Hongjoong exclaimed as he snatched the chips from Felix. "Its starting to get creepy."
"What is starting to get creepy exactly?" Felix scoffed as he opened a can of soda for himself before ripping open the dye boxes and setting everything out on the counter.
"You and Joonie knowing what to say and what I'm thinking about. Thats my thing."
"I guess that just means we learned from the best than. Anyway I saw your face droop in the mirror I figured you were thinking about Chan."
"You're not entirely wrong. More about how.....dull I let myself get. Did I always look like this when I was with Chan or just today?" Hongjoong asked as he turned to face the platinum blonde.
"Do you want my honest answer?" Felix said as he leaned against the counter, Hongjoong nodded his head softly. "Both. But only towards about year 7 with him. Its not that you gave up on yourself in the slightest it was more of the attention loss and the isolation from your friends. It was almost like you forgot what vibrancy itself was rather than you getting dull."
"How did i never notice that?" Hongjoong whispered to himself as he took one last look at himself in the mirror.
"But its OK now right?" Felix said as he slipped on the flimsy gloves from the dye equipment. "Because all of that is gonna change today. I promise." Hongjoong just hummed softly at the other mans hopefully words as he finally tore his gaze away from the mirror and pulled out his phone to distract himself. He decided looking at some dreadful fashion shows would make him feel better but the second he opened Instagram to find a few he was greeted by the post from last night. The stunning dress and equally as stunning designer still took his breath away as he admired the both of them again, not finding a single flaw or stray stich. He let a smile grace his face as he remembered that these two had helped him remember the biggest goal he had today. He chuckled softly as he re-read the caption over and over again. A sweet and calm feeling filling him to the brim as he commented on the post.
KH_official this dress is absolutely beautiful! I'm so honored that I was able to inspire such a gorgeous thing. If I'm being completely honest, I'm a little obsessed and I can't wait to see your first show. If you were able to make something so flawless thinking of me, I can't wait to see what you can make thinking of others. I hope that one day I can wear this dress with the same grace and elegance you have while sitting front row at your first fashion show. I hope you know that thanks to you and you're amazing work I'm proud to say I'm coming back to the industry. I cant tell you how happy i am to have such amazing compettion waiting for me. I'll make sure you get the first ticket to My comeback catwalk ^^.
Hongjoong could already see the insanity that was going to ensue after the little comment starts to circulate, spreading the word that not only was KH Official active again but the fact that he was finally make so many peoples dreams come true and coming back to the fashion world. He just couldn't help but chuckle to himself as felix locked eyes with him in the mirror, a matching smile on his lips.
"What's that look for?!"
"What look?"
"That smile! I haven't seen you smile like that in months." Felix excailmed as Hongjoong just scoffed and shook his head.
"You'll know when joonie gets here. But I promise you it has nothing to do with what you think!" Felix chuckled softly as the smaller man pointed at him. The two relished in the sweet atmosphere that filled the bathroom as the platinum blonde mixed the dye and started to paint the others hair with the slightly gray paste. Hongjoong hummed along softly to the soft music that Felix had put on halfway through the process as he fed Felix a few snacks before popping a few in his mouth himself. Hongjoong gasped as he phone began to vibrate like crazy in his lap, so much to the point where Felix shot him a questioning look. The former strawberry blonde sighed softly as he finally braved a look at his phone. The second the screen came on he had a flood of notifications swallow his home screen. Hundreds of mentions,comments,likes, and dms from all of his official accounts. Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, even Tumbler had at least 200 notifications each, it was like with just one comment he had broken the internet. He felt a little prideful in that fact.
"God damn! What the hell did you do!" Felix chuckled as he witnessed the hundred more notifications start to roll in over Hongjoongs shoulder. He tried his best not to get any dye on his freckled face as he leaned over the smallers shoulder, massaging his scalp in small circles.
"Nothing i just commented on this one guys post. I found it last night. He made a dress inspired by me and wrote this really sweet caption about me too." Hongjoong said as he unlocked his phone and showed the platinum blonde. "I thought it was really pretty and that he was a absolute sweetheart so I commented on the post. I didn't expect the internet to go nuts!"
"Oh my gosh, I didn't know seonghwa was a fashion designer! That must be the big project he was talking about!" Felix exclaimed as Hongjoong shot him a look of surprise.
"You know him?" Hongjoong gawked as felix slipped a shower cap over the smaller mans hair before taking off the dye covered gloves abd setting a timer on his phone.
"Yeah,well kinda. Hyunjin has done some work on him before and just recently they actually started to get to know each other since he comes in so often. They apparently had a few things in common and ended up hanging out once or twice. I only met him this week when we ran into him at the little cafe you me and joonie used to go to before ha even opened up, he seemed like a nice guy." Felix shrugged as he pulled up a picture of the 3 out at the small cafe. The small peach table they were all sitting it seemed to plunge a sword of despair back into the small mans heart as the memories of yesterday came flooding back.All the tears and depressing thoughts threatened to overwhelm him again. 'No, not today! He isn't worth anymore tears. Today is about me. The real me not the one
that his everything they loved for him.' Hongjoong thought to himself as he tried to choke back the small thread of sadness that wound itself around him as he tried even harder to focus on the platinum blondes words. "He never really got into what he did for work tho. Just said that he had been working on this one piece for a person that was really special to him I never thought it'd be you!"
"Yeah. I was really shocked that I found it last night. I really didn't know there were still hardcore fans of mine after so long." Felix chuckled softly as he hugged the man from behind, making sure to avoid his setting hair.
"Just proves how much you really matter to people. When we asked seonghwa about the "special person" the piece was for you would think he was talking about someone he's been in love with since he was a kid."
"Really? How did you get that impression?" Hongjoong asked as he tried not to blush at the implications Felix was pushing.
"Who wouldn't get that impression? He had this lovestruck look on his face and was saying things like "They are so kind and can make anyone smile with the littlest action." And "They can lose their temper in small ways but they are still so cute regardless." The guy sounded in love not only that but had been for years." Felix chuckled as Hongjoong's cheeks dusted a sweet pink. "Well at least we know that now you have a pretty fine specimen that you can dangle in Chan's face."
"Felix!"
What! Im just saying! Anyway I'm gonna go get dressed while you," The alarm chimed sweetly as the two chuckled at the perfect timing. " take a shower and wash all that out."
"But i don't have any spare clothes?" Just as coveintly as the alarm there was a soft knock on the front door.
"Don't worry looks like the delivery came just in time. Now shower, I'll bring you a clean towel and make sure to use the new hair dryer. Hyunjin wanted to spoil you just a little." Felix informed the man before heading out of the bathroom,locking the door behind him. Hongjoong just shook his head softly as he started up the shower. He felt his nerves and hurt sooth as the soft pitter pattern of the shower filled the room and steam started to surround him. He carefully unlocked his phone and clear the thousands of notification for now before he clicked on the podcast that had helped him clear his head on multiple occasions. It seemed to be the only thing but his friends that can bring out a different version of him. A better one.
"Hello everyone! As always on Wonderstruck, I'm your host Dino. And if you guys have been following the show for the past month then I think this little announcement is of no surprise. But Wonderstuck is officially down to one host, i'm single and hate men." Hongjoong gasped softly as he pulled back the shower curtain and checked the water to make sure it was just below scalding.
"I knew it! Ever since that one girl was on the show, something was up with that guy!"
"Sadly, my intuition on my former co host turned out being right and all of you have the free right to say I told you so. You guys told me over and over again since I had a certain guest on the show that something was going on but I wanted to continue to believe that he really loved me and we had a stronger bond that couldn't be broken by someone that he found prettier than me but I was mistaken." Hongjoong couldn't help the pang in his chest as the hurt in dino's voice started to seep through the phone.
"I really hope he's gonna be OK." Hongjoong sighed as he related to the mans suffering more than he wanted to.
"But a good side to this whole mess is that I've been able to focus on myself a little more and with the help of a couple of friends I've been able to spring back into the things I loved again. I've been able to go out again, try so new things like pottery and I've even been able to apply for a new job that I'm really hoping I get a call back for soon. But if I do I want you guys to know that this podcast is gonna stay alive and active its just gonna take a little longer to get episodes up." Hongjoong smiled softly as he heard the door open and shut softly as he rinsed the last of the dye out of his hair and started on his body, the strawberry dented body wash making his smile just a little bigger.
"In other words before we get into the latest trending topics I think it would be beneficial for anyone out there to here this. Its OK to still think and even love the people that have hurt you. Its OK to still lay down in bed and think about how good it would feel to have them there. Its alright to think about them on the days that you have dedicated just to you. The healing process can be a bitch but she is still a helpful and a patient bitch. As long as you focus more on the things that you have left after them or rebuild what you lost when you lost them. I'm trying to do the latter currently. Weither its fast or slow you will heal so just take one day at a time OK?" Hongjoong felt just a few tears spring to his eyes as he rinsed off his body. The podcasters words seemed to be just the thing he needed for the chains of chan that had coiled themselves around him to finally slowly start to crumble. He let the tears of relief run down his faceas he let dinos message really sink in. Someone he had no connection with outside of tuning into a silly podcast every week was experiencing the same thing he did. Even tho Felix and Namjoon had told him the same things, he would thank them till the ends of yhe eatth for their comfort and support, it just felt more real to hear it from some that deeply understood. Understood tbe pain. Understood the self hatred. The loss. He turned off the water before he stepped onto the soft white rug and took the sweet baby blue towel off the toilet before drying himself off softly. He couldn't help the swell of hope in his chest as dino continued to talk about all the things he felt free enough to do after his break up and one word that continued to riddle his speech seemed to wrap bandages around bruised heart and slowly helped it beat again.
'Healing. He's healing. we're healing. By the end of it all we're gonna be okay. Better even.' Hongjoong looked at himself in the mirror with a small smile ' and today we are gonna have a hell of a time healing' Hongjoong wrapped the towel around his small body and unboxed his new hairdryer. He quickly plugged it in before tunning his attention back into his podcast.
"In other news tho the internet has exploded in both excitement and in anticipation by one simple comment left under a picture of a up and coming fashion designer know as Park Seonghwa. The name might sound a little familiar if you guys tuned into last weeks show we looked at a couple of his pieces that are absolutely stunning if I do say so myself. But as of a recent Instagram post he had just finished a beautiful dress that was inspired by the work of the one and only Kim Hongjoong! The amazing fashion designer that built a luxury brand that everyday people could enjoy with just some spare pocket money. Even right down to his personality he was sweet kind and giving to everyone he came in contact with according to anyone that worked with him directly. Sadly a couple years back he announced the beginning of his immensely long haitus and we haven't heard any news about him since. Until today! The internet is in frenzy because after years of silence he has finally come back and not just to social media but to the fashion world as we know it! Thats right! Straight from his official Instagram of KH_Official, go follow this amazing person by the way, he commented under the post and I quote 'thanks to you and your amazing work I'm proud to say I'm coming back!' I pretty sure I speak for everyone when I say I am so stoked to see the legend himself come back to the catwalk!" Hongjoong couldn't help the gasp of shock and happiness at the excitement that filled the hosts voice. Even over the loud buzz of the hair dryer every ounce of adoration and happiness was heard through he phone in perfect clarity and he couldn't help but tear up at the love that was so evident in Dinos voice. It seemed like everything had fallen into place like that heat of the moment comment became a goal that he was gonna achieve. And he was gonna achieve it today no matter what! And with his hair dried and fluffed just the way he liked he turned his attention to the clothing that felix had delivered with his towel.
"Oh my god." Hongjoong smiled softly as he took in the beautiful but simple outfit left for him the soft pink overall skirt felt heavenly as he stroked the silk like material, the way the waist was sinched perfectly and the seams were laid in a way that eluded to a hourglass figure but hid the beautiful body behind free flowing fabric with bonus extra pockets and suspenders for extra flair. The shirt was just as simple a beautiful with its soft material and the smooth Japanese characters scrolled across it. He chuckled as he read the small fuck off translation under the elegant characters. He placed the sweet garments on the counter before he turned back to toilet only for a blush to consume his cheeks. Laying in front of his face is a garter belt stocking set the same soft and sweet pink color of the skirt and just like how the frilly silk boy short underwear matched the shirt in such a unique way. "Out of all the underwear to get me. I understand this is about me getting my confidence back but I feel like this is a little much." Hongjoong sighed to himself as he stared at the set. On one hard he felt as if the little number was a little too.....sensual for a simple day with his best friends. But on the other he did always feel a little bit more into himself when he was wearing something like this under his outfit. Just the thought of wearing something he shouldn't behind a outfit so normal. The thought of wearing a open secret that no one would see was always such a confidence booster in a way not even he could understand himself. "Fuck it might as well start living a little more.". The lavender haired man said softly as he slipped the sensual garments on before covering them with the innocence curtain of his skirt that hung off of his hips in just the right way. After tucking his shirt into the skirt and slipping the suspenders over his shoulders he did a quick once over of himself in the mirror. He loved the feeling of familiarity that instantly washed over him. From the normal floof of his hair to the sweet color of it softening his features to his usual senece of innocence and the way the outfit just emphasized the small curves of his body while still leaving just enough to the imagination to drive anyone that looked his way mad. Even down to the way his stockings wrapped around his slim legs gave him the kick of confidence he missed getting every time he was in the mirror. He blew himself a kiss before grabbing his phone and hanging up the towel ready to greet his friends as the new and improved him.