Chapter 50
The car Holden and Ryan had managed to steal was sleek and expensive. It had TV screens on the backs of the seats, and the door handles were wrapped in leopard skin. I wanted to roll down the window, so that the space didn't feel so artificial, but Holden had turned on the heater. The warm air hit my face and I began to feel the effects of a sleepless night.
"Why would a car like this be left unattended to?" I enquired, leaning my head back into a cushion that was stuck to the leather with Velcro.
I had meant it as a rhetorical question, but Ryan still answered. "It wasn't," he responded, awkwardly tugging his ear. He was seated in the passenger seat, but kept looking back to make sure I wasn't sitting too close to Kaden. He didn't need to worry, because Kaden's carefree attitude was replaced by a stone cold one. He sat stiffly, and as far away from me as possible; his fingers were tangled in his lap. I had never seen him uncomfortable before.
"We had to tie the owner up," Holden added to Ryan's confession.
"What?" Kaden and I both asked in perfect synchronisation.
"Why?" I carried on when nobody replied.
"He wasn't being.... cooperative," Holden shrugged, as he turned the car down a side road. "But don't worry, someone is bound to find him, eventually."
"Eventually?" I mumbled, through clenched teeth.
"It'll be fine," Ryan said calmly, putting one of his hands toward me in the gap between the two front seats. I wrapped my fingers around his, allowing the feeling of skin on skin to distract me from the thought of a man with rope secured around his wrist and a gag in his mouth. I thought about him slowly starving to death, since no one would hear his muffled screams. I shivered involuntarily and looked to Kaden, wondering what he thought of this whole thing. I jumped slightly when his gaze met mine. His eyes widened when he saw me looking at him. He didn't look away; instead he lifted his chin up and stared at me.
I gulped at the way he caressed me with his eyes, and decided it was best if I looked out the window. The bustle of city life indicated that we had arrived in a residential area. Children, with scarves wrapped tightly around their necks and mittens covering their tiny hands, were walking their dogs. All I could think about was how I had never had that experience. I had always remained cooped up inside; but the second my mother let me out of the house alone, I had people chasing me and two hot guys fighting over me. Would I ever get a chance at a normal life?
It wasn't long before we pulled up at a familiar house. All my memories of this place were of Kaden and I in some sort of intimate embrace.
A ghost of a smile passed over Kaden's face, but it disappeared so quickly I wondered if I had only imagined it. He gave no other indication that he was thinking the same thing as me.
***
It was safe to say we were all pretty surprised when the door was opened by a plump lady wearing a fluffy nightgown, over even fluffier pyjamas. Her caramel hair was tied back into a high ponytail, but it was still frizzy and all over the place. Her lips were tinged red with lipstick that was beginning to fade.
"Can I help you?" she asked. Her voice exuded elegance and poise, even if her appearance contrasted it; it was easy to tell that she had money.
"No," Kaden replied, a little too quickly. "Wrong house, sorry to bother you."
"I hope you find the house you're looking for," she said politely and waited by the door until we had all climbed back into the car.
"Shit," Kaden swore. The sound of his voice coming from in front of me made me realise our positions had shifted. Kaden was in the driver seat and Holden was in the passenger seat. Ryan was next to me, and unlike Kaden he sat as close to me as was possible without making me feel claustrophobic. He slipped a hand around me and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his shoulder, while tracing his jawline with my index finger. He shivered and I wasn't sure if it was because he liked me touching him, or if my fingers were too cold. Kaden raised an eyebrow as I wrapped both my arms around Ryan's chest, but he chose not to comment.
"The family that lives here moved back in," Kaden explained. "Lord knows where the others are." He hit the dashboard with such force, that the car rocked backwards and forwards uneasily.
"Umm, maybe we should drive away," I suggested. "She seems to be watching us from the window." The second I pointed her out, everyone's eyes turned to her and she deliberately shut the blinds. It seemed like she wasn't hiding the fact that she had been watching us, but was making it clear that she wouldn't tolerate any nonsense from us. I couldn't blame her for being paranoid. I would be just as afraid if four teenagers that looked as unkempt as we did , appeared on my doorstep. We were covered in an excess amount of grime that added another layer to our skin, and our clothes were torn. Not to mention that Kaden was wearing a piece of my jacket on his forehead, like an unfashionable headband.
Kaden started the car and drove down the panhandle driveway. He stopped just short of the main road, and I noticed that the veins on his neck were throbbing.
"It's okay," I told him putting a hand on his shoulder. My touch usually calmed his nerves, but not today. He shied away from my touch and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, unsure of what else to do. "We'll figure something out."
"Something?" He laughed devilishly. "Would you be so kind to enlighten us as to what something is? In case it hasn't been made clear, all this is your fault. If it wasn't for your FBI crap, we'd be..."
My eyes stung as his accusations hit me with full force. I was about to apologise for everything that had happened, but didn't get that far before Ryan defended me. "Don't talk to her like that." He leaned forward and pushed me back, as if he was shielding me from Kaden.
"Don't tell me how to talk to her." Kaden was shaking with anger; his face was flushed and his chin jutted out attractively. His forehead was creased with lines of worry, and I wanted nothing more than to smooth those wrinkles out, but he had made it clear that he didn't want me to touch him.
"Let's just leave," Holden said, with lips tightly pressed together.
"We don't know where the hell we're going," Kaden fumed.
While Holden and Kaden spoke among themselves, I wept silently, because I finally knew where all of Kaden's anger was directed... It was directed at me. Ryan gently wiped my tears away and gave me a sweet smile, while whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I smiled gratefully at him, too crestfallen to admit to myself that his words didn't soften the ache in my heart.
I opened my mouth to apologise to Kaden, but his words sliced through my own. "The numbers on that house." He pointed to the house opposite from us.
"What about it?" Holden titled his head.
"The number doesn't match the rest."
I had to squint through my tears to see what he was talking about. The house he pointed to was 515414 01465 and it sat between 34550 and 34552. The digits were painted on sloppily and they were different sizes, like someone had painted it hastily.
"The first six digits are separated from the next five numbers," Kaden explained. "Almost like..."
"Coordinates," Holden finished for him, resulting in me noticing that besides the separation between numbers, there were little dots in between some of the digits. Anyone else would look right past it, they'd brush it of as the paint dripping. But more careful inspection showed that the dots were too perfectly shaped to be dripping paint, they were deliberately placed there.
"We need a map," Kaden decided, pulling a 'phone from his pocket When had he gotten a phone? I didn't bother asking him, since I was almost certain he wouldn't give me an answer. "This phone doesn't have any more fucking data. We need to find a physical map at a shop or something," he sighed deeply.
***
"Will you help me?" Kaden asked. His voice was tender. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, since I had not heard him use that tone on me in quite a while. "Sage?" He raised his eyebrow questioningly when I didn't answer, and he smiled. It wasn't a real smile, but a sad smile.
I nodded my head and walked over to where he was standing. Ryan had his hand on the small of my back and walked with me. His strides were careful and measured, and I found that it was kind of ironic that Ryan was walking me to Kaden.
We had found a map at a nearby convenience store. We didn't have any money to buy it and none of us were eager to steal again, so we came to a consensus that we would study the map in the store. There were blocks on the map that were marked by numbers and a few letters as well. I was grateful that Kaden seemed to know how to read the thing, because I wouldn't know where to start.
"Here." He lifted my hand and placed my index finger on the edge of the map. He looked to Ryan almost to see if touching me was okay. Ryan didn't meet his eyes, and I felt the need to cry when I realised that Kaden was finally in acceptance of Ryan and I being together. He wouldn't try to fight with me anymore or lash out in anger: he had given up on me.
"Slowly move your finger down in a straight line, until it's on the same line as my finger," Kaden explained.
Ryan stood behind me and placed his head on my shoulder, while his arms wrapped protectively around my waist. He carefully watched as I did what Kaden told me to. When I nodded to Kaden to tell him I was done, he began moving his finger towards mine and I couldn't look away from his progress. When the tip of his finger met mine, I gasped at the familiar tingle that passed between us. It was a light touch, but I still felt the light go out when he pulled away.
"Don't move," he ordered and grabbed a drawing pin out of the container that sat next to us. He handed me the pin, careful not to touch my skin, and told me to put it where my finger was.
"Croydon market." Kaden scrunched his nose and put a finger on his chin. "Maybe that wasn't a message from Flynn after all."
I shrugged. "It couldn't hurt to try."
"Of course not," Ryan responded, when Kaden didn't say anything. Ryan, out of nowhere, began kissing my neck. My muscles tensed at his open display of intimacy in a public place. His lips traced my collarbone and his fingers drew figures of eight on my hips. He put a hand on my elbow and turned me around to face him, until my chest was against his.
"We shouldn't," I started, placing my hand on his chest.
"But we will," Ryan smiled, good naturedly. I heard the sound of footsteps and the sound of a door slamming. Kaden had left and Ryan and I were alone. Well, there was a cashier, but he seemed preoccupied with playing a computer game.
"Ryan, I..." The rest of my sentence didn't make it out of my lips. I couldn't tell him No, not when he looked at me with neither lust not passion, but with pure adoration. His hand cradled my cheek and I leaned into his touch. His palms were soft and I felt the absence of the callouses that marked Kaden's hand.
"You do like me, don't you?" he enquired, curious and shy at the same time, like he was afraid of my answer.
"Of course," I said, twining my hands around his neck. I tried to muster up the courage to tell him I needed time to get over Kaden, but would time help? Or was it better to just jump headfirst into this relationship and hope that Ryan's loving touch would erase the pain of Kaden's memory?
I stood on my toes and pecked the corner of Ryan's mouth. He sighed and quickly tried to mask his disappointment with a toothy grin. The fact that he didn't push me was what convinced me that I needed to give him more.
I buried my hands in his hair tugging lightly, implying that he should bring his face closer. His golden eyes sparkled, like orbs of gold that could light up the darkest of places. His breathing pattern escalated when I moulded my lips to his. I don't think either of us expected the kiss to get as steamy as it did. He had somehow lifted me up and placed me on the table, while he hungrily devoured my lips. My legs tangled around his waist, while he stroked my back. The kiss started off fine, but eventually I felt suffocated, not from the lack of oxygen, but because Ryan expected too much from me. The only reason I kept kissing him was because I was trying to see if his kisses did the same thing Kaden's kisses did to me: the temporary paralysis and jumbled senses. I wasn't sure if this should be happening when we were looking for the gang, but I needed to know if I could learn to care for Ryan the way I cared for Kaden.
When Ryan pulled away my heartstrings didn't tug me towards him, the way they should have. I was breathless, but it wasn't a good kind of breathless. It was the kind of breathless that reminded me that any kiss I shared with Ryan couldn't compare to the kisses Kaden gave me.