Chapter 3: A Step or Two
"I see you with her and it crushes me inside
Guess I should stop thinking about you all the time
Maybe this is what I needed maybe this is a sign
Maybe I've been blind to reality baby tell me
Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head"
"I need you to go get Eric for me." Four looked to me and I frowned. I had been helping Four since yesterday and felt like an errand boy. I was a leader reduced to finding other leaders. "Please." Four and I had set the new initiates up after they arrived for training. Place to stay, clothes, food, speeches from Max. Now was day one. The start of it all and Eric, the head honcho of this whole charade was late. I sighed and agreed. "Thanks, I'll get these guys up and out of bed." I told myself it wasn't a big deal. All I was missing was waking these kids up. Still. Felt like Four was telling a leader what to do. I pushed it to the back of my mind. Four and I got along well. I had no reason to hate him for asking a favor. Jogging up to the apartments I stopped outside of Eric's door. The door was cracked open. Looking at my watch I groaned. He was late. Pushing the door open I stepped in.
"A knock would have sufficed." Looking to the voice I saw Eric walk out of his bedroom shirt in hand. In hand. Not on. I held my breath. He was pure muscle.
"You're late." I forced out trying not to focus on his half naked self. He slipped on his shirt and glanced at the clock.
"Four sent you?" Why did it matter? He was late, let's go.
"Yes." He chuckled and slipped on his boots.
"So you let someone lower than you tell you what to do?" I went to speak but stopped myself. This was planned. I glared at him as he stepped up to me.
"It wasn't an order." I told him and he shook his head. "What, should I have sent him? I'm sure you would have love to see his beautiful face first thing this morning instead of my ugly one." He frowned.
"No." He stepped closer. Raising his hand he brushed a stray hair away from my temple. His fingers brushed against my piercings and I flinched away. "You're way prettier than him." Nope. The feeling was back. Just like he did when we fought. Stepping back quick I rolled my eyes.
"Save the sweet talk for Jessica." There it was again. Words flying without meaning them. I was truly jealous. It had only been a week since my feelings for him had resurfaced and I hated myself for it. "Now hurry up we are late." I turned away from him and heard him chuckle. What now?
"Do you think Jessica and I are a thing?" I turned back to him when I reached the door. It was obvious. The way she acted around him. I mean, she was practically in his apartment two nights prior. He did kick her out though.
"I doesn't matter, we are late." I said and moved toward the door. As I went to open it he quickly forced it shut.
"It does matter." He towered over me as I turned to look up at him. "You actually see me with someone like her." I looked away from him for a moment. Jessica wasn't his type in theory she was bubbly but neither was I. I always pictured him with someone just as hard as him. The heart makes you do silly things. Looking back up at him I shrugged. He moved closer. I was trapped between him and the door. I kept my gaze on him. His hand left the door. "I didn't think so." He said and stepped back away from me. "Let's go." He motioned to the door. I opened it quick and left the room.
We made our way down to the pit where the initiates had gathered. Stepping up to Four we both waited for him to finish his opening sentences. Glancing at the group, I started putting names to the faces. Eric began talking about the rankings and how they would determine who would get cut at the end of each stage. I never agreed too much with the rankings but it wasn't my decision.
"Why didn't we know that?" Will a boy from Erudite chimed in. There was some quick back and forth between Eric and a Candor girl Christina.
"If you're one of us it shouldn't matter to that you might fail. You chose us, now we get to choose you." Eric said to the group. A feeling of tension came over everyone. I knew how everyone felt. Eric had said the same thing to my initiate group when we first arrived. Eric turned to me, "Avery, take them for their first run." I love to run. I had no objection to this order. I motioned for everyone to follow me. We made our way into the training area, Eric and Four following slowly behind us.
"Alright, everyone get comfortable and stretch out." I said removing my jacket and tossing it over a bench.
"How long are we going to run for?" Molly asked as she and the others did the same.
"Until I feel like stopping." I wasn't a hard person, I was pretty easy going but, something in me told me to be hard towards them. Maybe it was Eric watching me that made me this way. I waited a moment for the group to be ready. Eric and Four stood toward the back, they would be coming as well. "Follow me." I said and turned to jog out of the back of the training building. We jogged out onto the street. From there it was a long winding path through the city. I wasn't counting the miles I just kept running. Looking back I saw that the group had fanned out into more of a line than a group. I stopped causing the group around me to stop. I looked around, we were almost out of Dauntless territory. No more than two miles. The initiates around me gasped for air. Some fell to their knees gasping uncontrollably. "What the hell is this?" I asked, hands coming out to my sides.
"It's hot." One said, "I've never run so far before." Another. Quickly the complaints started flowing over to me. The group was in agreement. They were tired.
"So you don't want to run anymore?" I asked, walking around the group. They all chimed up and agreed. I looked to Eric and Four. They shook their heads at the situation. I started to chuckle. "So you saying you want to give up?" The group fell silent. Looking to every person my smile faded. "You give up here, you give up out there." I pointed out toward the wall. "This is day one!" I shouted slightly. "We haven't even gone two miles and you throwing in the towel!" The group exchanged glances and looked to the ground in shame. "I'm going to keep going." I said be turning back in the direction we were headed. I would run the loop around Dauntless. Leaving was the longest part, only another few miles back to the training building. I didn't wait. Soon footsteps were falling behind me and I was joined up front by Eric and Four. I looked back and forth between them. For us I'm sure the run ended quickly. Dashing through the back door I came to a stop with Eric and Four. I turned and watched the group slowly come in. I remembered my first run. Eric had been so furious that people could not keep up that he issued threats. I was lucky not to get one that day. Eric did the same today. He was angry. This group was overly slow. His shouts echo through the building and I turned to Four who shrugged. Eric ordered them on a break after he lectured them.
"Four, you have the next stage." Eric ordered and Four nodded. The next stage was hand to hand combat. Four turned to walk away and I went to follow him. Eric stopped me. "Not you, we have a meeting." I let Four go and turned back to Eric.
"Another one?" I sighed and followed him. "What's this one about?"
"The Erudite program." I stopped when we reached the door.
"I told you no Eric." He turned back to me with a glare. "I have initiates to train." Turning away from him was my mistake. He grabbed my arm the same was he did after our first meeting about the program. He pulled me out into the hall and pressed me against the wall. I groaned. His grip was tighter this time.
"When will you learn to listen?" He whispered down to me, his breath on my face. I tried to move out of his grasp. We were maddeningly close to one another. While one part of my brain screamed for joy the other said that it was a dangerous situation.
"When will you?" I ground out, looking up at him. Letting go of my arm he placed his hands on either side of the wall framing me in.
"You still have a lot to learn about being a leader here." He said our gazes never leaving each other's.
"Maybe you right." I said softly and stepped forward bringing us closer. I don't know what came over me as I leaned up against him. His body went stiff and his breath became ragged. I knew at that point we had the same effect on each other. That the feeling was mutual. His hands left the wall and came to grasp my hips pulling me in. I looked up at him our lips inches from each other. "But so do you." He inclined his head as I moved away from him.
"Avery!" I heard Four's voice call out. Turning back to the door I left Eric. I could have kissed him but it didn't feel right. Entering the compound I headed over to the training mat where Four was showing the initiates some basic moves. I joined him and helped him demonstrate. Eric never leaving my mind. This past week had made me question everything about how I felt. Through my training it was love hate and now that I worked directly with him it was becoming more than that. The fact that Eric had tensed just as I did told me he was in conflict too.
When the day was done I returned to my apartment. As I opened the door I noticed a note stuck to it. Pulling it off I read it.
Come see me — Eric, I crumpled the note up. No I would not go see him. Well at least not dirty. As I showered I figured it would be about what happened earlier. Brushing my hair out quick I let it hang damp around my shoulders. Pulling on some loose sleeping pants and a tank top I wondered over to his apartment. The door was cracked like it had been this morning. I knocked this time. I waited. He was at the door moments later. It was late and he wore only his lounge pants. I hated him. How could he keep doing this to me? He glanced at the clock. It was almost ten.
"Took you long enough." I did not move from my spot outside his door. Rolling my eyes I shrugged.
"What do you want?" I asked. I was tired and wanted to go to bed. He motioned for me to come in and reluctantly I did. His apartment was the same as mine, with different furnishings.
"I wanted to talk to you about earlier." Shit, I didn't. I was still conflicted with myself that I had attempted to kiss him. I wanted to. I had the feeling he did too. I took a seat on his couch and waited for the subject to come about. He had gone to his kitchen and brought back to glasses with a clear liquid in it. Sitting next to me he handed me the glass and took it. Looking down into the cup I questioned drinking it. Taking a quick sip I let the liquid flow down my throat it burned. "About the Erudite program." I gasped. Coughing as the liquid caught in my throat. "You alright?" He asked placing a hand on my back.
"That's what you wanted to talk about?" I said through coughs. Taking a sip again to help ease the coughing. He smirked as I shook my head.
"I think I have come across the wrong way with this whole thing." He said taking a sip from his own glass.
"I don't want a part of it Eric." I whispered. Sipping the drink some more.
"You would raise in leadership status. Be more respected." He said simply. I sighed.
"I do not need your help Eric." I stated and drowned the drink. Placing the empty glass on his coffee table. "I must do this on my own." I said looking to him. "Thank you for your concern." I said standing. The drink hit me causing me to wobble but I held my footing. Eric stood with me, setting his glass down as well.
"There is another matter I wish to speak to you about." He stepped closer to me. Oh so now he brings this up. I looked up at him. "It is an embarrassing thing I ask." I searched his eyes in question. His hand brushed my hair from my face. What was embarrassing? He was not speaking about the kiss. Or the lack of one. I waited for the question. "I ask that you join me." I raised an eyebrow. "At the banquet in two days."
"What banquet?" I asked.
"With this new partnership comes certain events of pomp and circumstance." I smirked. We had such events in Amity.
"May I think on it?" I asked and he nodded. "Your drink makes me tired, I will see you in the morning." He let me leave with no questions. Falling to my bed I found my sleep restless. He wanted me to go with him to a banquet. Me. The next two days were going to drag longer than I intend.