Miss Cross,
Unless you are a real dunderhead, you would have realised the unjust conditions I set for the deal. Forcing you to work almost a whole day every week in exchange for a few simple words... however, it was a completely intentional decision at that time, so do not think I regret it.
You should be pleased to hear that your presence in my classroom will no longer be necessary as it has come to my notice that I do not require much assistance after all. If you're wondering, a student in detention took care of sorting the new ingredients. Therefore, I ask you not to bother meeting with me again.
-S.
Katherine frowned as she read the elegant script over, peering at the loopy 'S' of his signature. This was an unexpected turn of events as she thought he would at least make her keep her end of the agreement. But I suppose this isn't necessarily a bad thing, she thought, I won't have to do more work that could potentially... The black owl that had delivered the letter hooted and began to fly, believing she had finished reading the letter.
"Don't leave yet!" she called out, closing the window slightly to gain its attention.
Biting her lip, she tried to quickly come up with a response. Soon, she wrote it down with a quill, folding the piece of paper neatly. Katherine decided to give the owl a treat before it delivered her message. It stared at her quizzically, as if contemplating whether to trust her, before swallowing the rodent whole. After it was satisfied, the owl took the note by its hooked beak and spread its dark wings. She pushed open the window, letting the bird shake its velvety feathers before taking flight.
It was time to pay a visit for Minerva, the only staff member besides Dumbledore to have known of her presence at Hogwarts. The woman was almost a motherly figure to her, and made Katherine promise to visit her once in a while.
...
Small taps were heard in Severus' room. He looked at the window to see his owl flapping outside, a note clamped in its beak. He let it in, slightly bewildered, for he had not expected a reply.
Severus,
I understand. I won't come to assist you anymore, but know that if you ever need me or just want someone to go to: come to the East Lower Floor. There's a door concealed behind the patched wall — that's mine. Just wish for it, and you'll see it.
Sincerely,
Katherine
The Potions Master let out a scoff, contemplating whether to throw the note into the burning fireplace. How bold of her, to think he would ever want to visit her! However, he stuck it in his drawer instead.
His mind felt hazy in the early morning, filled with blurred images from his sleep. Some nights, memories that he worked hard to repress would plague his dreams, particularly his childhood nightmares and teenage humiliation. But the worst ones were from the imagination of his mind, twisted scenes of torture or murder from the Dark Lord's reign. Severus failed to restrain his shudders upon remembering the ear-piercing pleads that called out to him, begging for his help — yet he had always offered none, turning a blind eye. Other times it was his father, beating him and calling him 'weak' or 'worthless'. In these terrifying moments, all he wanted was to shrink away.
"I wish I were dead," he remembered crying to Dumbledore countless years ago, and this statement still stood true. If it weren't for his promise to protect Lily's son, Severus was sure he would've killed himself. After all, he had been guilty of so much sin that was unredeemable, no matter how much he risked his life for the 'Greater Good'. If he hadn't relayed the prophecy, if he hadn't become a follower in the first place and if he hadn't called Lily a Mudblood... it was too late.
A student came in, trying to ask him a question. Severus bellowed insults at the unfortunate girl. She ran away in terror at the seething man whose shadowy face leered at her. His breaths were ragged and sharp. He felt his arms trembling. No, no, no. Get a grip on your emotions!
He forced himself to calm down, clutching his chest where his heart was pounding. It was difficult not to unleash his exasperation on students, particularly while he was having his darkest thoughts. Dread swarmed in his head as Severus braced himself for another long and meaningless day.
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After dinner, it was time to talk to another one of the students. It would be the end of Christmas break soon, and this was the only student seeing her over this holiday. "Good evening! Come on in, Neville," welcomed Katherine, waving her wand to close the door behind the round-faced boy who had just stepped in.
He reluctantly sat down on the couch next to her, where she had motioned to. It was his second time here, but he was still doubtful of whether this was really a good idea. Professor McGonagall had ordered him to talk to Miss Cross, insisting that the counsellor would understand his worries. "At least give it a try," she'd told him. So here he was.
"How's school been going?" asked the brown-haired woman, pushing a cup of tea towards his side of the table. Neville was frozen, unable to form any solid answers.
"U-um... I don't know," he responded nervously.
She smiled at him, and took the time to light the fireplace. "Cold tonight, isn't it? It's alright Neville, you don't need to tell me much right away. Just say anything you want — what do you like?" Katherine recalled the first time she'd met him, when the only sentence he could form was that he was afraid of Professor Snape before he apologised profusely and left. It worried her to see the boy being so discouraged at such a young age and it was clear that he needed more positivity to raise his confidence.
"I like... I like my toad," mumbled Neville in a small voice.
"Oh, what's his name? I've never had a toad before," inquired Katherine.
"Trevors. But uh, he keeps running away from me," he said with a frown, thinking back to his embarrassing experiences on the Hogwarts Express. "Gran said it- it's because I'm not good enough, that maybe if I wasn't so dull..." He trailed off.
"Don't worry, Neville. I've heard that toads naturally like to find spots where you can't see them. I'm sure your toad likes you just as much and just needs time alone," she reassured him, patting his shoulder. He nodded shyly, hoping her words were true. "Do you have any hobbies?"
"Y-Yeah, plants! They're really interesting."
She could see the short boy gradually becoming more comfortable. He sat up straighter and focused intently as she questioned him about plants he liked to keep and tend to, along with ones he'd read about recently. He clearly had a passion for Herbology, and she hoped Professor Sprout would recognise this growing talent. There was so much potential for him.
"I also like Defense Against the Dark Arts, but I'm not very good... the only success I had was facing my boggart twice," Neville admitted.
"Honestly, I think that's wonderful," she complimented, "It shows you're brave and actually willing to face your fears. That's something to be proud of, you're really on the right track."
He shook his head. "I don't think that's true, Miss. I have to face Professor Snape every day anyway, that's why it wasn't as shocking as the other ones. A- Also, it's pretty stupid that my fear is a teacher..."
Katherine sighed, pressing her palms against the warm mug of tea. "No, I understand... that man can say some really nasty things. Listen, don't mind what he says about you, okay? I suspect it's because Professor Snape is often in a bad mood. No teacher should treat their students this way."
He took in her words silently, pondering. "Even so, I still suck at Potions. I can't do anything right," Neville muttered sullenly.
"Hey, that's not true!" she exclaimed, "You're really interested in Herbology, right? That's pretty useful to the theory side of Potions and how the ingredients work. Besides, it's quite a difficult subject — especially with that type of professor. Don't worry, Neville. I know you're trying your best."
Neville's expression replicated hers, gazing into a random spot in the room as he fell deep in thought. "Why does he teach if he hates students?"
"Hm." Katherine turned her head towards the clock on the opposite wall with a small gasp. "Oh! Wait a moment." The woman left her couch and walked through a door at the back of the room. A minute later, she came back in, a plate of cake in her hands. It was medium-sized with a yellow colour and red swirls of icing on the surface. "It's New Year's in a few hours so I baked a cake. Here, have some, I won't be able to finish this all alone."
His eyes widened in surprise, thoughts of his previous question evaporating from his mind. He had almost forgotten about the New Year. "Really?"
"Of course! I hope you don't judge," she said with a laugh, "This is my first time making a cake."
To her delight, a broad grin appeared on Neville's face. "Thank you Miss Cross."
Wishing each other luck for the year to come, the two enjoyed a late night supper of cake and tea. Even though it was very quiet and uneventful, the boy was grateful that the counsellor conversed with him like a normal friend, making jokes and voicing her true thoughts. He felt a new motivation for the fresh beginning and concluded that this was a heartwarming memory he would never forget.