❝we never got it right, playing and replaying old conversations,
overthinking every word and i hate it 'cause it's not me.❞
― back to you; selena gomez.
╰┈➤ "if i may ask... who was hoshio yusei to you?"
(y/n) freezes in her place as the question rolled out of the white-haired woman. her hold on the glass cup becoming tighter and the question, without doubt, hurting the small corner of her heart.
now, now. what should she answer?
"uhm... it's a long story, senju-san," her bittersweet smile adorned the beauty of her face, gaining an astonished look from senju.
"why? is he... your ex-boyfriend- ?"
"no, no! he's... my little brother," a sigh escaped her lips as she recalls the young teenager she adored so much. of course, he shares the same blood as her and he's the only one she ever have left before all of this happening.
the younger woman smirked at her answer, "i expected it. no wonder the surname was kind of familiar," she patted (y/n)'s back before putting back the tea in her hand on the small table in front of them.
"the akashi could keep this neat, mind telling me what happened to him?"
the (h/c)-haired hesitate, never once she tells the story to anyone these three years. if she were to tell senju, would she blame her for everything that happened at that incident too?
the fact that the kawaragi senju she met at the bakery not long ago was actually the missing sister of akashi takeomi somehow irritated her. knowing that she's just the replacement of this magnificent woman makes her heart bleed.
she knew it from the start, developing feelings in this kind of deal will hurt her more than anything.
is senju not feeling guilty to her or even thankful for whatever she has done before she comes back like this, with a relieved smile on her face? is she happy that she escaped from marrying izana and seeing others suffer in her place just because of this reckless plan?
"then... do you know about the big accident at shibuya three years ago?"
the other lass immediately gulps, her eyes suddenly glued to the ground. she knows, more than know the things behind that, "that... i am more than knowing about it. but let's get to the point, let it all out. i'll hear."
"more than fifty people dead, including my brother. i- i was just trying to protect him... i know it's my fault from the start... i'm a fool, i made a deal with them even though i know i can't pay back within a short time. but i'm just doing it for my brother."
(y/n) suddenly trembled and her palm was on the top of her mouth, the clear sight of blood around her was flooding inside her head again. talking about this after three years makes her anxious once again.
"what deal do you have with them? who's them?"
"they are bonten," not gonna lie, senju has her crystal eyes widened at the familiar name. "if only i was wary enough... my brother would already graduate now, he would already become a man he ever dreamt of... he would already, stargazing with me every night."
crystal tears already pooled her (e/c) eyes, yet a crestfallen smile is still given to the younger lass, "he needs me as his sister, yet i'm fooling around making a fuss with that dangerous people. i lend a massive amount of money from them... to pay for my brother's university fees."
"but... what caused you to blame yourself because of those deaths?" the other lass asks with concern laced in her voice.
"i promised to their treasurer to pay back the money in a month. i'm just working at that bakery at that time, with an average salary... well, you see, i'm not born wealthy," (y/n) took a deep breath as she exhales with trembled lips, "but i know i'm not capable of paying it back yet, so they threatened me; if i don't pay back in a short time, they'll kill yusei."
"a-and... he's on the way to give me a surprise at the bakery, that time... he just comes back from russia because he's on a semester break but-"
she choked from preventing her cries to flow out and senju made a quick action, trapping the older woman in her hand and patting her back. she could feel the fabric on her shoulder being wetted with (y/n)'s salty tears.
"the taxi he was in was being tracked... then they did it... they detonated the taxi and it caused several vehicles included in that rampage. a bus with sixty passengers... all of them died..."
her breath hitched as she let out incoherent words, sympathy and guilt start to build up inside the white-haired soul.
"all i could do was watch those blood on the road... yusei still smiled at me before he let out his last breath, as i hold his dying figure in my hand. why yusei? i'm the one who got you involved in this and got a lot of people dies... it's my fault all of this happen, why would you still love a foolish sister like me?"
"(y/n)... you've been all alone those three years, aren't you? it's okay, i know... yusei will always forgive you, that's why he never blamed you for anything," senju's hold on the woman's getting tighter as she hold back her tears from falling.
she knows this feeling, it reminds her of her other brother... who left the family not too long ago and ended up with bonten, what happened to (y/n) makes her feel guilt beyond compare.
"it's not your fault. believe in me, (y/n)... it's not your fault even the slightest."
"...(y/n)?"
"...(y/n)!"
"huh?!" the loud voice wakes her up from her daydream. she looks at the persona as she sighs in relief, "what is it, emma? you startled me... gosh..."
"i'm sorry... you look so deep in your thought that i think you already shifted to another world," she answered along with a small chuckle escaping her lips, taking her seat beside the (h/c)-haired woman as she sips on her drink.
the other lass shakes her head as she continues resting her head on the kitchen table again. what's the reason she got here again?
oh... izana was with the business of his new project and she's taking the opportunity to go out while he's away. what he did to emma the other day was quite rude and guilt couldn't stop empowering her ever since.
"emma, i'm sorry for the other day. izana was super rough towards you and i... want to apologize in his place-"
"nah, it's okay! just sting a bit though, it's the first time he slapped me after we parted for so long," the blonde nonchalantly answer as she touched her cheek that got slapped, earning a confused look by the older.
after they parted for so long? what does she mean by that?
realizing the enigmatic look in (y/n)'s eyes, emma abruptly got a clue that this woman never get to know about her relationship and izana's since they parted once again that day... with the ceo breaking her phone to cut their communication and all.
"oh, lemme tell you. izana is my step-brother but our mother left him at an orphanage when we were little. maybe that's the reason he hates me so much..."
her voice turn melancholy as her fingers fiddled with the edge of the table, memories starts flowing through her mind. the fact that the one her brother; the young and rich ceo from yokohama married to was the woman who has suffered from the akashi's deeds.
now both parties feel guilt... not knowing from which point they wanted to talk about first. silence.
"so... how did you get here today (y/n)? isn't your husband locked you up in his basement?" emma finally dares to break the ice, enlightening the atmosphere again with her joke. well, who's (y/n) to not play along with her joke?
"oh please, emma. this is my only chance to escape, he's at work right now!"
then they burst into a laugh that moment, not realizing the clock ticking to the end of the day. without (y/n) even thinking about the risk of coming out of the mansion, oh, so foolish of her, she doesn't know hell was ready waiting for her outside the apartment.
little did she know, her beloved husband has a lot of things done with her phone and of course he don't need to tell her about that.
"i feel like i was with rapunzel, you know? like- i'm flynn rider and you're like the princess who tries to escape from the evil witch!" the blonde nudged the older's elbow only to have her hearty laughter come out tired.
"god, that's enough, girl... i rarely laugh like this..."
they were currently walking towards the apartment's exit, emma was sending her at least until she has gone from her sight safely. the risk for (y/n) to be the public's attention now was super high since izana come uninvitedly to roppongi that day.
rumours about the famous ceo from yokohama and a certain (h/c)-haired woman already spread across tokyo yet until now they still try to cover it up.
with a tight hug, the blonde let her brows furrow in concern, "take care, (y/n)... remember, i'll always be on your side until you're freed from this conflict. see you."
(y/n) almost burst into tears hearing that and her grips on emma's also getting tighter. they already exchanged numbers again so that she could have someone to talk to every time she's alone.
thinking about it again, that mansion was quite big... but no matter how big is it, loneliness still could be felt lingering around. the atmosphere just making her emotional side come up for no reason.
"i will... take care of yourself too. send my regards to draken, okay? see you..."
those words were heavier than anything else to say because they both knew, the chance for them to meet again is thinner than a piece of paper. the chance for the two of them to meet face to face again is almost never.
it's always been like this... every delightful moment might end up the earliest.
"then, i excuse myself first- "
"so... did you have fun today, my queen?"
the (h/c)-haired freezes in her place as soon as she opened up the door... only to see the familiar tan-skinned man standing right in front of her with such a psychotic smile on his lips. her figure immediately trembled like the other day again.
but no, there was no time to be afraid now. she needs to face izana by herself and prevent him from hitting his little sister again.
no more words from the ceo as he lift his hand in the air, aiming for the blonde lass and she was ready with her eyes closed; waiting for another stinging impact to hit her cheek.
a second later, the hit she has been readied for... never comes hitting.
"(y/n)... y-you..."
she opened her eyes again, only to have them widen in shock. it's as if she's watching a slow-motion video; izana with his amethyst orbs got dilated in fear and the older woman who already got her face turned to the other side.
she stay silent as blood slowly trails down from the side of her lips and nose. her legs shifted backwards slightly, almost falling to the ground.
"i- i didn't mean to... i'm-"
"it's okay, don't apologize... nothing will change the fact that you want to slap your own sister," izana was about to hold her staggering figure but she slapped his hands away, trying to stand up on her own weakened feet.
she knows the risk of taking the slap was quite harmful, but it's for emma's sake... it's not what older siblings should do, they shouldn't treat them around like trash just because of this trivial reason.
the slap was stronger than the other day, it's spins her head and her vision was no doubt getting blurry from time to time. "i already did a ridiculous thing... to him... so, having another person to get through it was unacceptable..."
none of them could move their feet, still stunned as they watched (y/n)'s figure struggling to stay tough to walk by her own. the only thing supporting her now was the concrete wall on her side.
"(y/n), let me carry you- "
"no! stay away, don't touch me with that filthy hand of yours... i'm tired of it..."
izana got rejected over and over again. are there any painful things other than being treated harshly by the person you love? is this... what chikara feel when he did the same to her this morning?
my hands? filthy? what do you mean (y/n)?
unknowing tears pool his eyes as she stared at the woman, his so-called wife who almost fall to the ground.
"what's taking you so long- ? (y/n)?!"
then a certain jet-haired man comes into the scene, none other than hitto kakucho himself. he hastily runs towards the woman before she could get in contact with the hard, concrete surface.
his clothed hand trembled as he holds the weakened figure in his arms, his dual-coloured eyes fixated on both of the personas who do nothing. rage couldn't help but run through his veins, he glared at the ceo furiously.
"who did this to you, hm? tell me, please?" he softly grazes the stinging skin on (y/n)'s face, wiping away the bloodstain below her nose as he concerningly asks but no answer, she already passed out because of the strong impact.
the sight somehow irritated the other lad, his hand already travelling up inside his coat to find the gun he always brought anywhere. why was kakucho holding his wife? isn't he supposed to be the one who does that instead of that low slave?
"don't touch my wife."
izana was about to pull the trigger, but what kakucho said next makes him freezes.
"you can kill me, but please divorce her after i exhale my last breath. i can't stand watching her suffer with you."
kakucho then cradle the unconscious (y/n) in his hand, with such a worried look in his eyes. izana gritted his teeth as he watched his loyal secretary walk away... he knows that look, he had the same look in his eyes every time he felt worried about the (h/c)-haired woman.
then he recognises...
is kakucho... also in love with (y/n)?
the apartment door beside him already closed with a loud slam, following a cry from the other side of the door. his hand fall to his side, giving up as he falls on his knees. his heart is shattering more than it already is.
"why is it even too hard for me to say 'sorry'?"
yes, never once in his life kurokawa izana say those words. not to anyone... not even to kakucho, not even to his siblings... just why?
AUTHOR'S CORNER
•[WORDS COUNT | 2,518 words]•
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i'm sorry...
― rei
© -RESECRETOR
stargazing