Ram was sitting on the floor hugging his knees. He was staring at the photoframe on the side table of his bed. It was an old picture of Ram with his Dad taken sometime around high school.
In the picture, he was trying to match up his father's height standing on toes. Probably telling his dad that just few more days and he'll be as tall as him.
It was just two of them in the picture yet it was everything. Everything and unfortunately only thing Ram genuinely had.
Him looking at his dad with an irresistible smile and his dad smiling back in approval. The happiness in their eyes and the cheerful smiles were enough to brighten up the entire frame.
And now he was on his own. All alone. Once delightful Ram was now downhearted. At moment, he was not crying yet his face was pale, eyelids were swollen, nose damped and cheeks tear-stained.
Perhaps he'd already cried so much so that the tears too gave up.
His room was quiet. The drapes closed in an effort to prevent tiniest light ray to get into the room. The lights inside too were switched off. He sat there, in the devoid room, full of darkness. Just like his life.
****
After sometime there was a knock on the door. He didn't respond. Nandini knocked again. Then calling him, she entered into his room.
"Ram, why is your phone switched off? Adi is calling you since last night", she added.
He still remained unresponsive.
She patted on his back, "Ram!! Are you listening?" This broke his trance. He turned towards her and apologized.
Grasping his condition she enquired if he was fine and then with heavy voice she said, "I understand Ram, it's tough for you. Neither it's easy for me and yet I'm living somehow. For Shubu, Shivi".
She stopped, only to breathe, to be able to speak properly and wipe her tears.
Ram continued to look at her with a fond illusion hoping to hear his name too.
But she didn't.
Moments later, getting hold on herself she continued, "It's been six months. It may seem to be an end of the world but life waits for none. It goes on and so must you. In fact, I thought you were getting better. I knew you couldn't recover losses to save dad's business. But being an elder son you took the charge, strived to make things better and handled everything pretty well in his absence. I'm sure Virendra would be proud to have a son like you!"
Tears welled up in his eyes. His father's memories flooded back. Ram always looked up to his father.
He prioritized his family over anything. He tried his best to fulfill everyone's wish, keep them happy. He provide them with the best he could. And with the growing business, things were getting better. Their days weren't far.
Ram's better days weren't so far. He had already started with his business. Made every effort to provide the best to his loved ones. And soon he would have even married Vedika.
The thought of how beautiful life could have been made him miss his dad even more.
"You even started working on your business. Actually, Adi called for the same. He asked me to remind you about the meeting with some investor", she said tapping on his shoulder again to draw his attention.
"Yes mom. I remember. It's on 7th", he answered.
"Today is 7th, Ram!!!".
Ram was back to his senses. His pain left him clueless of the passing time. Perhaps, time had stopped for him as Vedika too left him, just after losing his dad.
He was back into the reality. Reality with no dad, no love, no one to rely on.
Ram wasn't even fortunate to have the luxury of being in grief, cry.
Brushing aside everything, suppressing all his emotions, inner turmoil, Ram stood up. He would rather suffer himself then let his family experience discomfort.
And likewise he assured Nandini that everything will be taken care of.
****
"Maa... bas. I'm done. Kitna khilaoge", said Priya exasperatedly. "Kyun? Aur dhyaan kaha hai tera? You're on leave today. Sit with us and have your breakfast properly", said Meera.
"Maa, I'm done. And in case you are forgetting, let me remind you. I took leave for Akki's admission. If we go early we'll be back early. Else we'll be stuck in the queue all day", she said keeping her plate in kitchen.
"Akki, be quick. Get ready. We'll leave in 15 mins." She was going through her phone when she got a message.
'Toh phir kya socha?'
She was dumbstruck. It was from Neeraj. Her college friend who asked her out during last semester.
Back then, her priority was to get a decent job soon after graduating, so that she can help Meera. So, she had brushed off the relationship idea due to her responsibilities. Neeraj promised to wait.
But the truth is family conditions was merely an excuse she made. Owing to the fact that her father left her mother and their family for someone, Priya feared abandonment, failure in relationships.
Expecting second child to be son, Mahendra had his hopes high. He was nice to Sara too, until Priya was born. Then Maitri. And he started losing it. Being enough grown-up, Sara understood this and just like Meera, she too gave in.
But little Priya would question this. Her heart sank everytime he disrespected Meera, yelled at her. She would study hard, get good grades, do every possible thing just for some acknowledgment, acceptance from him.
And with time she too realized her father's obstinacy for a son.
Finally, she gave up on him.
She stood firmly for her family. She started questioning him, giving it back to him. She never let him speak ill to anyone. She guarded Meera, Sara, Maitri and Sandy.
Her rebelliousness, disagreement for inequality, courageousnees made Mahendra hate her the most.
He started cursung her, abusing her and harassing her emotionally, breaking her bit by bit. She too started pretending to be stronger and stronger.
Eventually, breaking the warm, sweet, tender, expressive, dreamy and hopeful woman in her.
Neeraj was a good friend. He was never more than a friend for her.
When he asked her out, the fear of rejection re-appeared. More than loving someone, it was difficult for her to trust someone.
She knew it's just one man, yet this was the only man she knew closely. This one man was her father. And she couldn't.
Hence she came up with the family circumstances as an excuse so that she can neither be in guilt of breaking his heart nor this will affect her.
She assumed he'll forget this once the college ends but he was back again. After four months demanding answer.
****
Ram started working. He was flipping pages, going through random files making every possible attempt to concentrate but his mind deviated.
After a while, Adi called him to ask how he was, his whereabouts. Ram knew he would catch his lie of being okay so he told him he was worried about the deal.
"Since when you cared about deals that you didn't call? Sach Sach bata what has happened? Else I'll call Vedika?"
Hearing this Ram panicked. He didn't inform anyone about his breakup with Vedika. Not even Adi.
The thing is Adi and Brinda, newly married, were on their honeymoon. In fact, they were expected to get married few months back. Precisely, two weeks after Ram's father passed away.
Despite his pretence of being alright and his endless appeals to go with same wedding date, they postponed the wedding.
Moreover, while Adi-Bri were takings Phere, Ram was dejected even with the thought of his dad's absence in his wedding with Vedika. But she made it easy for him. She informed him about Shashi in the same wedding hall. Breaking him again.
He knew the minute he breaks the news to them, they'll put everything aside for him again. So he convinced Adi that he was missing his dad and nothing else. Also, he ordered him to not call him over and over but to make most of his trip with Brinda.
He disconnected the call. Opened the drawer. Reaching to the pills bottle, thinking whether to take it or not.
He started having them lately, secretly from his friend when he felt Vedika distancing herself from him. He realized he having them more frequently. But he couldn't help it. He starred at the pill for a moment and took it.
****
Shivina barged in. Closing all the files and forcing him to get up she said, "Bhai, hurry up!!! It's last day. Jaldi chalo." Unaware of what she was talking about he enquired. Shivina informed him about her junior college admission.
"But Mom said she would accompany you so I went ahead with the meeting thing." "She was. But then he'd to visit someone." Shivina sat on her knees, held his hand and with puppy eyes requested him, "Bhai pleaseeee!!!"
Making her stand up, Ram said, "Shivi, you don't have to do this. Uth. I'll come. Anyway the meeting is at 4.00pm, I'll manage." "Bhai you're the best!!!", she said withdrawing herself.
For that tiniest minutes, Shivina held his hand, looked at him with emotions. Even if it was for her interest, it felt good. To be touched, caressed, just to have someone around.
She smiled and was about to leave when he stopped her. Patting on her head he said, "Nothing is more important to me than my dearest Shivi."
This words reminded her of their dad. With a known smile and teasing tone she said, "Thanks Dad!!!" And left.
He realized he'd unknowingly spoke his dad's words. He looked at the frame again. He realized just matching height is not enough and it's time to actually fill his father's shoes.