Sam runs around a corner and hides behind a vehicle in a deserted light industrial area.
"It's okay. They can't hurt you. They can't hurt you. "If it bleeds, you can kill it." Yeah. "If it bleeds, you can kill it." Sam Says
He looks over the vehicle and sees a clown with green hair, yellow pants and a red jacket standing a short distance away. The clown laughs and runs towards Sam, who runs first towards a high fence and then to a door. The clown runs after him, raising its knees exaggeratedly high with each stride. Sam breaks open the door and bolts it behind him.
GARAGE
Sam moves some metal objects in front of the door and looks around the building, which is a large garage or workshop. He hears a crash behind him and turns to see the clown coming through the door, laughing. He starts to walk away from the first clown, but another clown, which is also laughing, has appeared in front of him. Sam stops and the second clown zooms closer.
_________________________________
PARK OR REST AREA PARKING LOT
Sam is leaning against a Jeep reading a newspaper.
The phone in a nearby phone booth rings and Dean answers the phone.
"Hello? "I am the eggman." Sam smiles briefly as he rolls his eyes. " Seriously, Frank, pay phones? I mean, come on. I – I'm getting the clap off this thing just touching it. Fred Savage? Really? Yeah, no, I know, big mouths are everywhere. Uh, well, since you asked, some actual intel on the Dick Roman guy would be nice, Fine. All right Yeah, good looking out." Dean Says
The phone clicks as Frank ends the call, Dean hangs up, scowls at his hand and walks over to Sam.
"I hope he finds something quick. This whole protocol du jour thing's really creeping my cheese." Dean Says
"So, we got dick on Dick?" Sam Asks
"That's a vivid way of putting it. You find anything on Wonder Woman?" Dean Says
"No. And there probably won't be. They are definitely gone. But..I might have found something over in Kansas." Sam Says
"All right, well, let's do it. But, uh, a few simple rules, okay? No babies In fact, no baby mamas. No bars. No booze – no hot chicks of any kind." Dean Says
"Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say –" Sam Says
"Hey. You spawn a monster baby, see how quick you want to dive back in the pool." Dean Says
Dean walks over to another car, Sam chuckles.
"We'll I'm glad your going to focus, that's why I called for backup on this one." Sam Says
"Who Denny again?" Dean Asks
"No Um, it's Elena I called on her to check up on her and she said she found something in Kansas and wanted to join the case." Sam Says
"Dude really, you called her why?" Dean Asks
"Um because she's my friend Dean and is hurting why not okay, look I know what happened between you guys ended badly." Sam Says
"Understatement." Dean says
"But come on, its been weeks plus you obviously moved on." Dean looks at him. "She hasn't hunted in weeks I'd figure it would be good for her plus I miss having her around now suck it up she's coming." Sam Says As Dean sighs
MORGUE
Elena button's up her shirt as Dean looks at her, She looks at him then he looks away. The Doctor pulls back a sheet from the body of a middle-aged man. The body is covered in circular raised sores of various sizes that appear to have been made by tentacles. Dean, Elena and Sam are wearing their FBI suits.
"Ohh. Those are not the fun kind of hickeys." Dean Says
"You're – you're saying an octopus did this?" Sam Asks
"Not just any octopus. Based on welt diameter, Enteroctopus dofleini." He Says
"And for those of us who skipped the enteroctopus class?" Dean Says
"Giant Pacific octopus." He Says
"How giant we talking, Doc?" Dean Asks
"Approximately 30 feet." He Says As Sam laughs briefly.
"I mean, aren't... giant octopi rare around here." Sam Says
"Yet here we are." He Says
"All right, so what happens? Guy comes home, cracks a beer, and gets... suckered to death?"Elena Asks
"Obviously, this was some kind of freak fetish attack. Someone created those hickey marks, then bled the man out." He Says
The Doctor turns the dead man's head to expose a wound on the side of his throat. Sam, Elena and Dean walk through the hallways.
"That bite look a little vamp-y to you?" Dean Asks
"Yeah, no question." Sam Says
"So what are we looking for? An octovamp? A vamptopus?" Dean Says
"That's crazy even for us, right?" Elena Says
"It does push the envelope. Let's go chat up the widow." Dean Says
WIDOW'S HOUSE
"We're very sorry for your loss, ma'am." Elena Says
"Mrs. Harper, we know this is, uh, bad timing. But we just have a few routine questions that we need to ask you – is that okay?" Dean Says
Mrs.Harper, Elena, Sam and Dean are seated around a coffee table. Mrs.Harper is holding a Kleenex, Sam, Elena and Dean have cups of coffee.
"Yeah." Mrs.Harper Says
"Did the house feel any different lately?" Sam Asks
"Different...?" Mrs.Harper Says
"Anything strange. Cold spots. Uh, did you smell anything weird? Maybe sulfury?" Dean Says
"No. Not that I can remember." Mrs.Harper Says
"Okay, we're just ticking all the boxes here. Um, what about any skeletons in your husband's closet?" Dean Asks
"Skeletons? What do you mean?" Mrs.Harper Says
"Can you think of anybody who would want to do him harm? A colleague, an old flame." Elena Says
"The tiniest detail could really help." Sam Says
"You want to know what he was up to lately? Ask Stacey. She was here the night he died." Mrs.Harper Says
"Um... Stacey?" Sam Says
"Our nanny. Any other questions?" Mrs.Harper Says
"No, that's... Thank you. You've been a big help." Dean Says
Elena, Dean and Sam get up to leave.
"Really appreciate the hospitality, ma'am." Elena Says
A little girl watches from the top of the stairs as Dean, Elena and Sam leave the house.
"Mom, dad, nanny – boy, that is a love triangle right out of Casa Erotica. 'Course, in those, the jealous wife tends to channel her feelings more productively." Dean Says
"The only thing I can't wrap my mind around is –" Sam Says
"What, how wife lady summoned an octovamp?" Dean Says
"More like "why?" I mean, kind of impractical, right." Sam Says
"Yeah." Elena Says
"All right, one of us needs to go talk to the naughty nanny." He walks around to the driver's side of the car. "The other two stay here, shake down the place when the wife leaves – see what we're dealing with." Dean Says
"All right, I'm on the nanny." Sam Says
"I'm on the nanny." Dean Says
"I thought you said no hot chicks." Sam Says
"What?" Elena Says
"He kind of made a promise to him-" Dean Coughs Giving him a look. "Long story short no hot chicks for Dean." Sam Says
"We don't know that she's hot." Dean Says As Sam and Elena gives him a look and walks off.
__________________________________
HOUSE
"Now, uh, how would you describe your relationship with the deceased?" Dean Asks
"I don't know. Normal, I guess." She Says
"Normal?" Dean Says
"Well, I mostly dealt with Debra. There was nothing going on, if that's what you mean." She Says
"Debra said that you were at the house late the night that, uh, that Brian died." Dean Says
"Yeah. Brian was working late, so I stayed with Kelly. She was pretty upset." She Says
"Why's that?" Dean Asks
"Well, it was her birthday. We had a party at Plucky's." She Says
"Plucky's. Why does that sound familiar?" Dean Says
"Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie? Pizza chain for kids. Actually, more for lazy parents. Anyway, her dad showed up for five minutes, then he went back to work. And, of course, her mom was out of town. This stupid kid told Kelly her folks didn't really love her. She freaked. I was calming her down for hours." She Says
"Uh, did you...notice anything weird at the house?" Dean Asks
"Weird like...?" She Says
"Anything. Even a bad feeling." Dean Says
"No, nothing like that. Actually, Kelly does have a weird thing about closets. But it's just kid stuff." She Says
"Try me." Dean Says
"She thinks there's a monster in her closet. It drives everyone crazy." She Says
STREET
"Hey, we talked to the wrong person." Dean Says
"What?" Sam Says
"Yeah, forget the mom. Talk to the daughter. She's mad at her dad for ditching her birthday." Dean Says
"So, what do you think? A birthday wish gone wrong, something like that." Sam Says
"I don't know. It could be." Dean Says
OUTSIDE MRS HARPER'S HOUSE
Sam and Elena is in the Jeep watching Kelly draw in chalk on the footpath outside the house.
"Elena and I got a 20 on her right now." Sam Says
"Can you get to her without tripping the Amber Alert?" Dean Says
"We'll Try." Sam Says
Dean is about to get in the car. "All right, see what you can find out."
Kelly is drawing what appears to be an octopus on the footpath outside the house as Sam and Elena approaches her.
"Whatcha working on there?" Sam Asks
"I know who you are." Kelly Says
"You do?" Elena Says
"Mm-hmm. You're the people that talked to my mom." Kelly Says
"That's right we did." Elena Says
"Kelly! Where are you, honey?" Mrs.Harper Says
"Something wrong?" Sam Asks
"My mom will get mad if I talk to you both." Kelly Says
Sam crouches down in front of Kelly. "Um... How come?"
"Because of what I told the police." Kelly Says
"And what did you tell the police?" Sam Asks
"I told them that I tried to warn my dad. That the monster would get him." Kelly Says
Mrs.Harper opens the front door.
"Kelly. Come here! Now! Kelly!"
Kelly runs into the house as Mrs.Harper looks unsmilingly at Sam & Elena and closes the door. Elena and Sam looks at the picture Kelly drew an octopus with sharp teeth and an unfriendly expression.
PARK
A man wearing a bathrobe is running through the park, looking over his shoulder. He is being chased by a small white horse or pony. We see only its body, legs and the lower half of its head. It neighs. The man scales a fence and stands panting on the other side. After a moment, he leans close to the fence to listen for hoofbeats and then presses his back against the fence. He is impaled through the chest by what appears to be a horn. The horn withdraws and the man falls to the ground, dead. Over the fence, we see that the pony has a horn: it is a unicorn. A light runs up the horn from the base to the tip and there is a twinkling sound. The unicorn paws, rears, neighs and then canters away, with rainbows shooting from its tail.