Severus was pale, hands shaking as he felt frozen in place. His heart was beating painfully in his chest and he was invaded with a sudden urge to flee but couldn't move at all. His breathing was too sharp for his own good and he felt he would start sweating soon. There was a horrible sense of fear and dread embedded in him, all things he had felt before.
He could swear he heard a hiss and that terrible sluggish sound of a heavy tail crawling close to his feet. His lips were trembling but he couldn't make a sound, although he was screaming inwardly.
"I have to leave, I have to run, it's here"
Snape managed a few steps to lean on the nearest wall, his panic made his hands cold and he started to fear he would pass out with his worst fear waiting for his descent on the ground. It was a nightmarish haze of terrifying memories, the scar in his neck was so painful it seemed to be wide open once again, all seemed to be crumbling down in the edges of his vision until he heard a voice.
"Hey, hey, everything is fine, you are home, no one will hurt you here, whatever you saw was just your mind filling in the gaps"
Severus felt a couple of touches being distributed around his body, although he couldn't be sure of some since he was too nervous to pay attention to it. His shoulders and base of the neck seemed to be relaxing in spite of his agitation. Soon enough, Pixie helped him sit down on the floor since there were no chairs in the corridor.
As soon as Pixie spoke to him he stopped to deepen in his memories, and as soon as she touched him, he started to breathe more steadily, his heart rate went down and the dense cloud of fear that hung over him started to dissipate. Severus knew the places she touched were carrying most of his physical tension, so it helped him clear his mind to have them reset to a non-stressful configuration.
She sat right in front of him, touching directly into his forearms with her hands.
"Why don't you tell me some of your least favorite foods?" Pixie asked
Severus named a desert they had at Hogwarts with raisins. The taste wasn't so bad, but the texture was sickening. He described with broken words, Pixie could tell he had a chain of thought going on but there was a lot of interference. She took mental notes on his tension and heart rate.
"Seems like an awful thing to eat indeed," She said as if they were having a normal conversation. "Now you tell me what happened," she said gently, looking straight into his eyes
Severus told her he was going to get his coat in the bedroom, this time more well composed than his last attempt to describe a situation. He was afraid of giving too much detail and ruining the little progress he made on calming down, but strangely, as he told he saw Nagini's reflection on the corridor's window right behind him, he felt his stress was identical to the former description he had just given about the food.
"And what startled you most? Was it a glimpse or did you see Nagini close to your feet?"
Snape realized he closed his eyes as soon as he had seen the reflection, the sound and weight of the snake crawling over his feet were sensations he experienced with his eyes closed. He could tell Pixie was actively attenuating his reaction to some mental triggers he had. Whenever they spoke the name of the snake, his pulse accelerated, so she made it drop to only cause him a fraction of that discomfort.
This was some of the basis of her treatment, she would walk Severus through traumatic events in a safer way, letting him speak freely and attenuating his reactions to make them bearable. When triggered out of his sessions, she would do the same. She was trying to teach his mind to react in a reasonable way to the trauma. She could even teach his mind to be indifferent about it over time, but she believed some memories should remain what they truly are, only in a way people can endure without causing further damage.
"Severus what you saw was a shadow cast by the three outside, but don't worry I got jumpy at least twice because of it too," She said, still holding his forearms. "Now, I know seeing Nagini must have been terrible, why don't you tell me something you liked about the movie you watched with Remus the other day? I think you liked more than you cared to admit" she said in a casual way, still as if they were having a normal afternoon tea conversation
And so he went, pointing out the plot was not predictable and he liked the secondary character because they made her both smart and intriguing. And the scenarios were nice.
"And did you like that scene when they went after them, but they had a good plan to escape anyway?" she suggested, never breaking eye contact with him
"Yes, once again, not predictable at all" he replied
"See, there is always a way to escape tough situations if you have a little help" she said taking her hands from his forearms
Snape felt almost as if Pixie had snapped her fingers after hypnotizing him. Reality was suddenly tangible and it all seemed as it was before his episode. He could tell he was now very close to his normal self, felt as if he had run a marathon but even being very tired, he wasn't nervous anymore.
They stayed there for a moment, both resting a little before Pixie got up and helped him get on his feet again.
"Get some rest, I'll take care of Teddy while Remus doesn't come back from the market"
"Thank you, Pixie" Severus replied with a weak smile, knowing she'd understand his exhaustion and lack of energy to thank her properly
About one hour later, Remus got home to find it very quiet. He was levitating the groceries to their rightful places while sitting down in the kitchen when he realized the back door leading to the outside was open. They had a wooden table and two small benches there, good for a little breeze at the end of the afternoon.
"Severus is that you?" he asked, knowing he would smoke here occasionally
"He's upstairs resting. Mind fetching me my bottle, Remus?"
Remus always wanted to know what was that blue water bottle doing around the kitchen since she never used it, so he collected it and went outside, soon seeing her and sitting close to the young witch. It was strange to see her in very casual clothes sometimes, he'd forget she was much younger than them, being in her mid-twenties.
"Thanks" she said
Remus observed her fill the bottle magically and then freeze its content. Right after that, she touched the bottle with the tip of her fingers and also held it for a long time in a complete grip. She seemed slightly bothered by the cold but endured a little further, finally letting go for a while.
"Sometimes my hands hurt when I have to use my ability too much at once, but I'm fine nothing to worry about" she said placing her hands back around the bottle
"Had no idea, you could have told me, maybe we can get you something else"
Remus looked at her closely, realizing she had a sour touch to her expression, different than her usual sugar plum atmosphere, as he called her mentally. He levitated a few strawberries from his bags and placed them on a plate, finally making them come to them and land in the middle of the table.
"How do you know these are my favorites?" she asked with her dark eyes glistening, but without taking her hands away from the frozen bottle
"Is it really that difficult to tell?" Remus asked in a friendly way as he got rid of the green little leaves on the top of one and levitated it close to her mouth so she could catch and eat it
She did so and her expression cleared out a bit. Sweets always did the trick, he thought. Chocolate was his favorite but strawberries were also very comforting.
"Are you sure everything is fine with you? Did anything happen to Severus while I was out?" Remus asked
"He had another episode, it wasn't too difficult to stabilize, but he had another light one yesterday, remember? And we had a therapy session two days ago in which I made him go through some tough memories, so... yes, it has been a long week and it's only Wednesday" she said feeling a little more tired
"You are so good at this I often forget this is your first official assignment, and since you told me this will help you get the job you want at the hospital I'm here to give all the good recommendations you can get, ok? I'm sure Severus will as well"
"Oh, do you think he will, Remus? We are good friends but he is so..."
"Uptight? Serious... Severe? Capable of giving someone a bad review in spite of friendship? Yes, he is, Pixie, I know him forever and it's all true. And that's why you should be happy when the former most feared teacher at Hogwarts compliments your work every time he has the chance to. I used to think he was too tough on people but these days I understand he means well, when he thinks someone is hopeless he doesn't bother at all"
Pixie's eyes widened a little as she remembered a thing from the other day, Remus caught it right there in the air.
"Like that time at the -" they said in a chorus
They laughed, although they knew it was sort of wrong to do so, which made it even funnier. Once Severus was at the hospital with them and a guy at the reception simply wouldn't get anything right. So instead of explaining again or being mean, he simply and bluntly got his papers, pilled them up magically, and talked to the other receptionist right beside the first guy.
"You're right, he loses no time. And thanks for telling me that, I'm just starting everything and it's a challenging patient and I'm the BDSM girl trying to get accepted at the hospital with that bunch of people who have never heard of aftercare, it's hard sometimes" she said a little upset
"You're doing wonderfully, as soon as people know your work better they will make lines to be your patients. I would for sure" Remus said smiling softly at her
Pixie nodded, accepting the compliment, flattered by it. She was very demanding of herself, never being happy with anything less than perfect. It only made her upset she couldn't really tell people about the BDSM experience, always camouflaging her background. Of course, she had a degree and Magnus gave her back up on that, but it would be easier if she didn't have to hide.
They chatted about other lighter subjects for a while, eating some fruit and getting to know each other better. They liked sharing space but since they would often be busy, they didn't talk that much most of the times.
Remus was a little jealous of her at the beginning, he hated to admit that to himself. She knew Severus from a world that seemed too distant for him, they bonded over a part of their lives that was more private and Remus felt left out on it sometimes. However, didn't take long for him to see their relationship was close but that Severus didn't think of her this way. It was strange at first because Remus wasn't used to the idea Severus had close friends he wasn't spying on, but it was only normal. Snape was a lighter version of himself close to her, probably because he was not afraid of being judged and Remus grew used to them casually talking about some BDSM-related topics.
However, during a few conversations they had, and being now closer to Pixie, Remus could tell she was conflicted about some aspects of her magic. At first sight, no one would say she had a darker aspect of it, but she seemed to be drawn to darker elements. And seeing people's more perverse side never intimidated her apparently, as if she was acquainted with that part of people's souls.
As they continued talking outside, Pixie let go of the bottle and started to do a few stretching exercises with her hands. Remus thought it would be a good moment to ask her further since he never got the chance.
"How does it truly work, Pixie? I know you can stabilize people, relax muscles, just sitting close to you makes some heavy thoughts go away, but I've seen you with Severus and you've helped me sometimes too and..." Remus inquired looking at her small hands
She sighed slowly.
"And when I break contact you feel as if I had been hypnotizing you, it's ok, people tell me that. Although, that's not exactly it. You see Remus, muscles - the body, really- have memories of its own. Sometimes you pull a little string in the back of your leg and it triggers memories from when you were a kid and you don't even remember the images, but you remember what a sport felt like. When people play instruments it's the same, some of the interpretation and emotion is in the movements they use to play the chords. I've heard musicians talk about muscle memory. And well... anxiety, loneliness, happiness, trauma, they are all emotions you also feel in your body somehow. For example, where do you feel anger?" she asked him
Remus felt as if she had aged at least twenty years in experience in the last couple of minutes. Seemed it was a very serious topic to her although she was addressing it in a pleasant way.
"I think, in the... tip of my nose? Brows and hands, I think. Never thought about it" Remus replied
"Makes sense, you tense those places when you're angry, I've seen it. You go forward with your face, your nose gets sharper, I think you're right" she said opening the bottle to drink some of the melted water. "I'd recommend employing those places with something when you want to control anger, if you must. Try feeling the scent of things around you and touching where they come from. But anyway, this is why people think I've hypnotized them, because I can walk them through physical sensations, and those trigger parts of the mind" she said before drinking more
Remus was almost shocked, he had no idea she was so observant. And she was probably right about it, nothing made him more pleased than the scents from a candle shop downtown. He always walked around it when he was upset and now he knew why.
"I'm very impressed, Pixie, very impressed. What else can you do, if you don't mind me asking"
Pixie was pleased Remus seemed very interested, she liked talking about her abilities but hated to bore people since it was such a personal thing to her.
"Well, the natural part of it is relaxing muscles, but I can also tense them up. I've learned it over the years. But I only understood I could do that when I first realized I could destabilize someone instead of the other way around"
Remus felt a chill go down his back, he would have never thought Pixie was capable of that, but it made perfect sense she would explore her abilities to their fullest.
"I don't want to be around for that, especially if you can do it as well as stabilizing someone," he said in a light way
She was pleased he didn't seem to be scared or trust her less, he was intrigued.
"Matter of fact, I can. It's the other side of the coin. One can only know as much of light as they do of shadow. But sometimes I feel bad about it, you know. I won't tell my future patients and it's for the best but I feel I'm deceiving them"
Remus saw some of himself of her for the first time. His nature was also something that brought him conflict.
"You don't owe people all information about who you are simply for them to make a judgment of you, believe me, I know better. People who understand your side will understand your timing to say it and people who would never approve of you simply never will, one way or the other. Prioritize your work, it's what everybody does, your patients don't have to know everything. You will help them regardless right?" Remus asked her
She placed her closed hand close to her chin, considering what she had just been told.
"You are so right, never thought about it before. Other specialties hide things from patients too, I suppose. It's so nice to have you to talk about it" she said happily
"Whenever you need, Pixie. Now, simply out of curiosity, how can you make someone's heart rate slower? I never figured that out" Remus asked her
"Your heart is also a muscle. Technically it's a muscular organ, but you get the idea" she said simply
This time it was visible Remus was caught out of guard with the information, it instantly meant she was far more lethal than he would have ever dreamed of. All right there, in her tiny hands with black nail polish and almond-shaped nails.
"You are full of surprises" he said laughing a little, amused with his own reaction. "Changes nothing Pixie, I trust you just the same as before. One last question?"
"Sure, nobody ever asked me so much about it, aside from job interviews, it's quite fun actually" she replied
"Can you do it on yourself?" Remus asked, although he already know the answer
"Sadly no, I can't. I tried quite a few times but doesn't work the same. I feel far less tension than others, I think... But can't actively do it" she said
"So, I'm sorry if it sounds weird, I don't mean it that way, but... would you like me to give you a little hand with your forearms? Noticed you've been touching them since I came here"
Pixie's complexion changed quickly, she went from casual seriousness to her usual bright welcoming presence. She was most touched by the gesture, nodding as if someone had gifted her something really nice. Truth is, nobody had ever cared about giving her a massage, nobody ever asked her if she needed one.
Remus was very polite about it, he didn't want to give her the wrong impression. He pressed some of the places she indicated with his thumbs, massaging one arm at a time. She gave him some tips and he followed, asking her if he was getting it right, which made her feel very happy. It was not only visible in her face, Remus could feel her presence was even lighter after it.
When she went upstairs to check on Snape, he was already awake, reading a book while laying down, half-covered by blankets. He could feel a light breeze coming from the corridor this time around, getting stronger as he heard someone coming upstairs. Pixie excused herself to touch his neck where his scar was and his shoulders, to make up for the residual tension.
"Someone is in a good mood" Severus pointed out while she picked up a few items such as folders and papers to place them in the right place
"But I am, I made a friend" she said closing the drawer with Snape's records
"Soon you will be both plotting against me to order from your favorite restaurant, that one I can't stand, I know it" Snape said, referring to the fact they were unsure if Remus liked her at first
"Oh yes, next Friday is my turn to choose. Beware Severus, your kingdom is falling apart" she said playfully as she left the room
A couple of weeks later, Remus and Pixie had a second longer conversation about random subjects. Their friendship was nurturing and Severus suspected that Remus had opened up about some of his difficulties in his treatment to her. Simply having someone to talk to was maybe what he needed and Severus was glad they were getting along well.
Snape wished he could have been more present with Remus in the last two days, things seemed to be affecting him more on an emotional level. However, he had been slightly sick and spent most of his time in bed for good measure, trying to get better so he wouldn't have to cancel a very special visit that was occurring today.
At first, Neville had mixed feeling about visiting Snape and Lupin in their house. He was most surprised by Snape's letter inviting him over for lunch and to stay the afternoon with them. He obviously spoke to Harry and Hermonie about it, since they visited him before. They convinced Neville he should go if that was his desire and he replied Severus saying he'd bring something for dessert. And - of course- a plant he had been taking care of as a gift for the house.
That day, lunch went really well and to the young wizard, it was almost a sight from another world to see his teachers after so much had happened during the war. He liked Pixie in the first two sentences he exchanged with her and even more after she spoke a little about herself while they ate.
After lunch, Remus and Pixie busied themselves playing with Teddy and giving the two other wizards some privacy to talk.
They went on with lighter subjects at first, Neville mostly followed the subjects Snape suggested. To the older wizard, it was both comforting and upsetting that Neville wasn't shaken at all to see him thinner and weaker, possibly because he had seen much worse visiting his parents at the hospital.
"I'm not a huge fan of sweets like Remus and Pixie, but I must say your dessert was really good, thank you for taking the time to make it" Severus said while sitting in the armchair
"It's the sugar, I like this special one that is not so sweet, I'm glad you liked it" Neville said a little nervously
"Well, I know you are too polite to ask me why I've invited you to visit us today, so I'll explain it to you. As you can tell, I spent a long time at the hospital, and honestly, I doubted I'd ever leave it alive quite a few times. So now, that I'm recovering more, I'm taking the time to thank the people who made it possible. And I've been told you killed Nagini using the Sword of Gryffindor, which you retrieved from the Sorting Hat. I'm very impressed, Longbottom" Snape said in a calm tone, his hands resting on his lap while he sat
"Thank you, sir" Neville replied. He wasn't used to talking about that day with such naturality. He didn't like to brag about it but felt his life changed significantly afterwards.
"No, Neville, thank you for making sure my current worst fear is only in my memories. It's due to your courage I'm able to rest -relatively- well these days. And that is why I'm afraid I'm asking too much of you, but... would you allow me... to see it for myself some time? If you ever go to Hogwarts could I see it in the pensive?" Snape asked, giving away some discomfort
"Of course, professor. It never occurred to me you would want to see it, but sure, we can meet there. Only... I'm afraid I'm only going next year" Neville pondered on his own plans
"I can wait, it's no problem at all" Snape said relieved Neville accepted it
Snape was ready to speak of other things, but Longbottom seemed to be puzzled, one could tell he was trying to find the right words to speak his mind.
"If it's too troublesome to you-" Snape started
"No, it's not... it's just... I think I understand why you want to see it" Neville said while he took the liberty to sit close to Snape on the couch, not speaking so loudly anymore to continue. "You still see it sometimes, don't you? It's ok, it happened to my parents too" he almost whispered
Snape only nodded, he hated to talk about it, but Neville seemed to have good intentions.
"Seeing it's gone can help you with that, at least a bit. I don't want to make you wait all that long so... I've heard you are good with Legilimency, I wouldn't oppose" Neville finally concluded
"That can be too invasive, wouldn't want to cross that boundary with someone who is making me such a huge favor" Snape replied, Legilimancy was the source of quite some trouble in his life already
"Everything about the war has been seen and reseen by half the ministry already, and that's how they did it, we have grown used to it" Neville reassured him
Snape thought for a moment. This was not what he thought at first but Neville seemed quite sure about it and it would indeed be better than waiting. His former student never looked braver, sitting side by his of his childhood worst fear.
"Only if it's not bothersome to you. Also, I'm not at my best I might end up seeing a little more than intended" Snape warned him
They switched seats and Neville sat comfortably in the armchair. Snape asked him to take a few moments to close his eyes and revisit the memories on his own, so they would be more easily accessed by him. Snape helped by asking some of the things he'd seen, the place it happened, who was present, how the day was like and how he felt about it. And while Neville described the scene with his eyes closed, he heard Severus getting up and standing close to him, possibly pointing his wand.
The younger wizard nodded when he finished his last sentence and Snape's voice pronouncing the incantation was almost inaudible as they both orbited around the scene taking shape around them.
Snape barely had time to grow nervous when seeing Nagini close to the Dark Lord in Neville's memory. His student's speech was cut in the memory, Neville probably focused more on the things he believed Snape wanted to see. But Severus felt a deep sense of pride on seeing Neville standing his ground in front of one of the most powerful wizards of all time. There was a merge in their consciousness and Severus saw himself as Neville. Had he been using a pensive, maybe the image of Nagini coming in his direction would have been too scary for Severus, but his feelings weren't alone, Neville's were there too. He felt, among Neville, a deep-rooted type of bravery, something that made his entire being resonate in defiance and strength. He felt invincible, he knew he was. There was no trying to pull a sword, there was only the Sword and a target and as soon as they felt the metallic grip in their hands, Nagini's head was on the ground.
A second later, Snape was already observing it all from an outsider's perspective. Seeing the Dark Lord enraged and dangerous made him remember that by that time, he was already unconscious where he had been attacked. The thought made him lose some of his focus and the environment around them started to fade the same way a dream fades when one is being awakened slowly. Their way back was not Snape's usual elegant assemble to the real world, but they both landed in their bodies nicely.
"Professor!" Neville said getting up, his balance a little shaken as well
Snape was paler than before, so he let Neville help him sit down. Pixie showed up in a second after hearing Neville and she asked him if everything was alright.
"Did I hear some spells?" Remus said suspiciously coming right after her
"He asked me to see how it was when I killed Nagini" Neville said at once
"You snitch," Snape accused Neville grumpily while Pixie scanned him with his eyes, already touching his jaw
"You what?" Pixie said nervous to her tiny bones looking at Severus
"I'm fine, everyone" Snape announced. "Was not a walk in the park but now I know it's dead, very dead"
"So will you be when Ophelia hears about it" Remus pointed out, concealing his amusement since Pixie was still serious
By this time, they could all tell Severus was truly ok, he wasn't going to have an episode, he was just a little peaky. It gave them more room to deal with it in a lighter way.
"Pixie, I couldn't stand my life seeing things all the time with the corner of my eyes, I had to see it! And you're not in trouble Neville, it was my decision" Snape said while drinking the water Pixie conjured for him
They waited for Severus to drink a few sips when they saw Neville was almost laughing in realization.
"Wait, Ophelia? The psychiatrist? Yes, I am in trouble, she assists my parents sometimes. She's positively going to kill me" he said half-joking and half terrified
Later that evening, when it was close to dusk, they said their goodbyes to Neville who thanked them for the day. The young Gryffindor went home feeling better than ever since Snape, his former worst fear, said he had become a great wizard and that he could be even more skilled if he completed his studies. He also liked the gift Snape had given him, which was a dose of Felix Felicis, his way to thank him further for all this bravery.
Pixie was taking the rest of the night for herself, unless needed of course. She was organizing her bedroom, reading cards from friends, planning her activities, and even listening to some music. A well-deserved rest, it was a busy week for her.
Severus was tired from the long day and for performing an elaborate type of magic. He got some of the lemonade left from their meal and sat on his bed wondering if now he'd have some peace of mind after seeing Neville's memories.
As he left the glass on the nightstand, Remus knocked. He asked if he could shower there since Pixie was using the other bathroom while doing something in her hair he couldn't remember the name. Severus agreed and let him in, noticing he carried his pajamas with him. Remus closed the bathroom door behind him and although Severus wanted to give him more privacy, he didn't have all that energy -or desire- to leave.
Snape continued to read his book but shortly after he heard the unmistakable sound of clothes being undone. Obviously, he was still attracted to Remus, but those sounds evoked some sensations he had almost forgotten he was capable of, especially after going through so much physical pain. Feeling attraction requires some degree of vulnerability, something he wasn't ready to experience... until now.
Severus thought about him all the time and his eyes would always easily find Remus across the house. However, this was something different. He not only desired him, he wanted to feel him, he wanted to show him how much Remus meant to him.
He kept pretending to read the book until Remus came out of the bathroom, smelling very nicely and with his brown hair still wet. The dark wizard was barely able to contain his gaze, allowing himself to enjoy the view of his favorite werewolf with grey pajamas and messy hair.
As if this was not hard enough, Remus looked at him hesitantly, almost shyly, before he spoke.
"Severus, I've been feeling some pain in my shoulder since my last full moon. I think it's bruised. I'll talk to Pixie again, but still... Could you please apply a little bit of this for me? I can't reach it" he asked giving him a little container with balm on it
Snape sat closer to him, taking Remus' cotton T-shirt to the side in the neck opening so he could fit his fingers there without making Remus undress. Remus felt his heart accelerate when Severus spoke very close to him.
"Is it here?" he asked pressing his skin
"Yes, you got it"
Severus made a motion indicating he'd start and when his hand reached out to Remus' clothes it was as much as the werewolf could take. He held Snape's hand right there, in his shoulder, and looked at him asking the question with his eyes. His gaze was needy, tentative, but also inviting.
Severus heart was beating fast, this was the moment he had been dreaming of for years, too many years. Lupin, the one he loved more than anything, wanted more of him. Remus wanted to go forward and this meant everything to Severus since he loved Remus alone for too long. Snape got closer, placing his hand slowly on the side of Remus' face, sliding it a little closer to his neck. Severus caressed Remus' jaw with his thumb, making Remus smile in a nostalgic way. And then, not having to think anything further, Severus finally leaned forward and kissed Remus's lips.
They breathed deeply at first, holding each other firmly and tenderly wherever they touched. Didn't take more than a moment for them to start kissing in a more expressive way, faster, hints of lust on both ends.
They could have indulged more in that intimacy, but the weight of that moment was still a lot to handle, even if positively. They waited so long, and now they were finally here. Together. To Severus' surprise, Remus seemed to be even more emotional than him.
"Severus..." he said in a low voice between their kiss, his lips trembling slightly as he placed his long arms around him in a tight embrace
"I'm here Rem, not going anywhere" Severus replied, understanding Remus was maybe remembering some tough moments at the hospital
They looked at each other in a blissful way after the kiss, Severus resting his face close to Remus' neck right after it. After a while, they kissed again, this time they ended up lying side by side in bed and they were a little bolder, but once again they had to stop for they were both too emotional to continue. Remus also wasn't sure of how Snape felt about intimacy yet, he didn't want to demand too much of him although he'd love to continue. On Snape's side, he was still processing the idea of being vulnerable but he sure wanted Remus, it was more than clear in the way they kissed.
They laid side by side, finally no physical awkwardness between them, no more danger, no secrets left unspoken. Snape rolled to his side and held Remus tightly, burying his face in his chest, shrinking a bit.
Remus comforted him for a while before asking him if he was ok.
"I'm just... so glad I made it out of the hospital" Snape finally said, as if he had forbidden himself to say such words before, knowing he had been causing so much turmoil for everyone around him. It felt almost selfish to simply be grateful he had survived when great people didn't.
"Oh, I'm glad too, Sev... I can't even say how much" Remus replied while stroking his partners' hair
Their happiness was only matched to the sudden unsettling realization that if only a couple of variables had been different, maybe they would never see each other again. That abysm was now behind them, it was still scary, but at least it wasn't between them anymore. While looking at Severus still lingering on his touch, for the first time Remus knew things between them would be different this time around. For the better. And he couldn't wait to meet this new version of them. They stayed in their embrace, saying each other's names with tears in their eyes, ready to never let go.