Holi can feel the softness of the mattress and pillow beneath her. She is lying on her back and when she wriggles her toes the soft fluffy blanket that encases her tickles them. She slowly flutters her eyes and then opens them. The room she is in has a soft amber glow so she does not have to adjust or wait for her eyes to get used to any harsh lights. She is looking at a ceiling, it's all calm and quiet. She is confused.
The memories from the last two days come rushing back and her breath hitches at the thought of her little Bell being flung into the air. Fuck. Where is she? But then Austin's face comes into her view. He is smiling at her, stroking the side of her face then he leans down and kisses her.
As his tongue swirls in her mouth and she kisses him back, clinging to his shoulders like he could disappear at any second, she tries to gather her thoughts. A soft bed, luxury bed linens, soft amber lights, and Austin above her...did she dream about the last two days? Is this actually the morning after she and Austin slept together?
Did she dream he said all those awful things about her? That he betrayed her? Did she dream of Mac's heart being broken? Did she dream that her mother found her and tried to get her claws into her again for another hit? Did she dream of Bell being hurt? She must have. She is here in Austin's arms all warm and safe. It had all been a dream. They are safe, they are all safe.
Austin breaks the kiss and looks at her with a soft smile. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "hi," he whispers. Holi smiles, "hi," Holi whispers back. A dream, it had all been a nasty dream. It had felt so real though...
"Oh, hello! She is awake," a loud happy voice booms from behind Austin. Holi turns her head towards the voice and sees a woman in a nurse's uniform. She then darts her eyes around and takes in the room. She is not in Austin's room but in a very expensive-looking hospital room. So not a dream then. Bell! Is she ok? Holi needs to find her.
Holi goes to sit up but as she moves pain sears through her left side and she screams, but she continues to move. She needs to find Bell. Austin reaches out and pins her back to the bed.
"Behind you, Holiday, look. She is right there," he says into her ear, his voice edging on annoyance. Holi stills and looks behind her. She sees a hospital bed next to hers and a sweet little sleeping Bell on it. Holi looks back at Austin who has released her now and is standing next to the bed with his arms folded. He looks like he wants to tell her off and is using every muscle in his body to restrain himself from doing so.
For a man that is trying to get rid of them, he is strangely clingy and weirdly in sync with her thoughts. He knew she was freaking out about Bell without her saying a word. He confuses Holi so much.
"She is fine," his voice cuts her thoughts short, "she is one tough little lady. Few scrapes and bruises...but fine," he says. Holi sighs and then closes her eyes, "and before you freak out about Mac, he is downstairs having food with Ren."
Holi can feel the tears drip down her cheeks. She has fucked up so bad. She put both Bell and Mac in danger and now her mother is back in town and the whole Chuck thing...Holi is such a fuck up and because of how fucked up she is, she is fucking up Bell and Mac too.
She feels Austin wipe the tears in her cheeks softly then the bed dips and he wraps his arms around her and pulls her tight to his chest. Holi should pull back, she should slap him and demand he get his stupid bitch ass out of this bed and this room. But instead, she finds herself latching onto him, she feels safe and warm with him. He makes her feel like it is all going to be ok. Even when it's not. Nothing is ok.
Holi must have fallen asleep because she wakes with a start and can no longer feel Austin's arms around her. Her heart drops, she does not know how much more of this emotional roller coaster she can take. She is tired, emotionally drained, and spinning in a world that seems to take no notice of her - why should it? Of what importance is she? Fucking hell her thoughts are depressing.
She hears a little giggle and turns her head towards the sound. Bell. Bell and Austin. They are standing by huge windows. He has Bell wrapped up in his arms and she is giggling at whatever he is pointing at out the window. They both look pretty happy.
Bell turns to look at Austin and cocks her head slightly like she is inspecting him. Austin seems puzzled by her if the frown on his face is anything to go by, as he looks back at her. Bell then grabs his jaw with her little hands and brings her face close to his cheeks then blinking her eyes fast she lets her lashes flutter around his cheek.
Austin lets out a breathy laugh and then Bell pulls back sporting a big smile. "What are you doing my little Bell?" Austin asks her. In response, she does it again and by the time she pulls back, she lets her head drop back with a full giggle while Austin watches with fondness.
"I give you butterfly kisses," she says once she stops giggling then turns her cheek so Austin can do the same to her. He huffs out another laugh then leans forward and flutters his lashes around Bell's cheek. By the time he pulls back, they are both laughing. They are in their own bubble like the rest of the world does not exist. Holi remains still and continues to watch them. Her life is pretty fucked up right now so if she can commit this moment to her memory she is going to make sure she memorizes everything.
Austin turns back to look out the window and Bell points out something that has caught her eye to Austin. Happy. Holi hears the hospital door own softly and sees Mac walk in, she motions for him to keep quiet and so he closes the door behind him then tiptoes over to her and climbs into the bed and watches Austin and Bell along with Holi.
"Holi," he whispers, "I spoke to Austin while you were sleeping. I think you should speak to him...I think we were wrong about him," Mac finishes. Holi watches Austin, his feelings towards Bell are not fake. The way he is giving her his undivided attention, the way she knows he is making her feel like she is the most important person in his world. You can't fake emotions like that. Maybe she had misinterpreted everything, she is always quick to think the worst. It won't hurt to at least just hear him out.
"Ok, Mac. I will...when the time is right. Ok?" she answers him. Mac smiles and then snuggles in closer to her side, sleep is his intention. So Holi pulls him in closer and lets him drift off while she continues to watch Austin and Bell. But then the hospital swings open with a loud bang and the nurse from before comes into the room with food trays on a trolley.
Mac is snapped out of his sleep with a jump and Austin swings around with Bell. When Bell sees that Holi is awake she squeals and holds out her arms to Holi, "mommy!" she says. Austin walks over and gives her to Holi. Holi holds Bell and says a little thank you. She does not know how she would survive if anything happened to either Bell or Mac.
"Hello! you are awake again!" the nurse says happily, "no thanks to you," Austin grumbles. Holi takes his hand and gives it a little squeeze. Austin takes in a deep breath then looks at the nurse who is a little crestfallen from his grumbling, "sorry, I am just a little stressed about my...my family," he says. Holi can't breathe. Mac stands on the bed and then jumps into Austin's arms and because it looks fun, Bell tries to do the same. Luckily Austin has quick reflexes so he catches her before she falls off the bed.
"We are his family," Mac says to the nurse as he lets go of Austin and crawls back to his spot on the bed, "oh, we all know," the nurse says with a giggle, "he has made it very clear that you all get the best of everything," the nurse claps her hands together like she has a surprise, "now who is ready for the best food ever?"
Mac sits up straight nodding so fast Holi is sure his head will pop off. Bell jumps out of Austin's arms and crawls over to her brother. The nurse hands them each a tray of food. Holi helps Bell while Austin walks around and helps Mac. The nurse leaves the other two trays on the trolly and says they are for Holi and Austin then she leaves them to finish their dinner.
Their dinner consists of burgers and fries, Mac's request. Chocolate milkshakes, Bells request, and ice cream, Austin's request. By the time Bell and Mac are done eating they both look like they are slipping into food comas so Austin puts their trays back on the trolly then helps Mac to a bed on the other side of Bell's. Then he comes back, takes an already fast asleep Bell, and tucks her into her bed.
He comes back and sits at the end of Holi's bed and looks at her like he is waiting for her to ask him a million questions. She has them...a million of them but her mind feels fuzzy pieces are missing from what happened and she is scared of the answers. So she chooses to stay quiet and look back at him. After a while his shoulders slump a little, he was hoping she was going to open up to him...but she won't, she can't.
"You hungry, Holi?"
"No."
"You want to sleep?"
"No."
Austin bites his bottom lip and starts to play with a loose thread on his joggers. He looks so young in this light like he could be no older than 18. It may also be because he looks a little lost when he usually seems so sure of himself. Holi starts to pull the blanket off her, "actually I am feeling pretty stiff. Will you help me take a little walk?" she asks. Austin looks over at Bell and Mac then nods and helps her out of the bed.
The whole left side of her body is painful and Austin is careful when he touches her on that side. "I will take you across the room to the window Bell and I were at before and then back to the bed. If you want more then we can do laps around the room," he says gently but Holi can hear the finality in his tone.
He does Holi's head in he is the perfect balance between a hard strapping man and a soft gentle soul. He towers above Holi and when he takes her hand it disappears into his large hand, he could have Holi flying across this room with one simple flick of his wrist but Holi knows he would never do that even if he was raging with anger he would still be gentle. She has never seen him angry and she hopes she never does...not from fear, she just does not want to see it.
He walks her over to the window and she has to take a moment to acknowledge the view, it's spectacular. This whole hospital is spectacular, she knows it's not a public hospital. This whole thing smells of Austin. Austin crowds behind her and slips his arms around her waist lifting her and making her stand on his feet so she is a little taller then rests his chin on her head. She tangles their fingers together while they both now look out the window.
"I have been in hospitals many times Austin and I have never been in a hospital like this. It's more like a spa than anything else...definately not a public hospital," she says softly.
"It's a private hospital, Holiday. Don't fight me on insisting you and Bell get the medical attention you need here. I will not apologize for ensuring your safety."
"Thank you."
Austin shifts a little and kisses the top of her head. The pain in her left side is getting a little worse. She is going to want to lie down again soon. "I don't understand though. I saw Bell fly through the air, but she does not look hurt at all. What happened?"
"You stepped into the road and took all the impact from the car that hit you. Bell went flying from your grip. But she only suffered minor bumps she really is ok. The car was not going fast, thank goodness, so you are banged up but no broken bones or anything."
"So why are we still in the hospital?"
"Doctors are just being cautious I suppose."
"Can we leave tomorrow?"
"Depends."
Holi steps off his feet then turns around to face him. She tries to lift her arms and wrap them around the nape of his neck but when she tries pain shoots through her. Austin shushes her and pulls her close to his chest and she lets her hands rest on his pecks.
"Depends on what, Austin?"
"Depends on where you plan to go."
"Umm..."
"Wrong answer, Holiday."
"I will go back to the shelter."
"Never."
"Austin-"
"No," Austin cuts her off, "enough of this nonsense Holiday. Come home. You can keep your distance from me until you are ready to hear me out. But going back to the streets is not an option."
She opens her mouth to protest, but Austin raises his brow and cocks his head as if he is daring her to talk, so she closes her mouth. She knows he is not going to accept any explanation she gives and if truth be told she does not want to go back to the streets now that her mother and Chuck have teamed up. She lets herself slump into Austin and he only draws her in tighter.
"Back to bed for you," he says and lifts her gently then walks her back to the bed and helps her get back into it. He goes over to the food trays and pulls one off then places it on her lap, "it does not look appetizing now, cold chips, warm milkshake, and melted ice cream...yum," he says. Holi laughs a little and picks up the burger, "I will just eat this," she says and takes a bite. Austin obviously thinks she is onto something because he goes back to his food tray and picks up his burger then joins her on the bed again and starts to eat it.
"How long have we been in this hospital?" she asks between bites. Austin holds up two fingers, "this is night number two," he says once he has swallowed his mouthful. Holi frowns, "You got Mac a bed to sleep in...where did you sleep?" she asks. Austin flicks his head to the couch, "on there," he says then gets up and chucks the rest of his burger in the trash can then takes Holi's tray from her and places it back on the trolly.
"Try and get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day," he says and kisses her forehead. She watches him walk over to the couch, fluff the pillow then lie down on his back with his arms crossed over his chest and his legs crossed at the ankle. She gets a deep yearning for him, what is wrong with her. Seriously, she is supposed to be angry with him. "Can you sleep with me in this bed? Would that be ok? If you lay with me here...in this bed...with me?" she blurts out.
Austin turns his head and looks at her with one eye for a while then gets up and walks over to her, "shift over then," he says. He climbs in and Holi latches herself to him then tilts her head up so she a look at him. He is looking down at her already and she can see the want in his eyes so she leans up and connects their lips. Her stomach swoops as he kisses her, she honestly can't get enough of him. He makes her feel so good and she wants more.
So she lets her hand wander, slowly she moves it from his pecks down over his stomach then starts to slip into the top of his joggers, it's very clear where she is headed. But Austin breaks the kiss suddenly and grabs her hand. She feels slightly affronted, why is he stopping her? She knows he wants her to, she can see it in his face.
"Holi, you are sad and upset. If we do anything tonight you are going to regret it because on top of everything that's going on you are pissed off at me. You don't want to do this now."
Holi rolls her eyes, he is right, she knows it but it does not make it any easier to admit defeat. She knows if he lets her do what she had intended that she would only be angrier at him tomorrow. So she nods then buries her head in his chest and lets sleep pull her under.
Holi wakes up early in the morning, she can tell it's early because the sky is a deep navy blue and a sunrise is threatening to split the sky. She is still cuddled in Austin's arms and he is fast asleep. Her body is still painful but it's much better than yesterday.
"Mommy," she can hear Bell whisper from behind her. She carefully turns around and faces Bell giving her a little smile, "what's up Bell?" she asks. "I must pee," she says and Holi can see the desperation in her face. Poor thing must have been holding it in for ages, "come on then," she says and climbs out of bed, careful not to wake Austin.
She takes Bell out of her bed and leads her to the bathroom attached to the bedroom. It looks like a hotel bathroom and not a hospital bathroom. She suspects that this hospital is not just any private hospital, it is a very expensive private hospital. She helps Bell remove her pants, she still has the lobster outfit on. While Bell sits on the loo, Holi sits on the edge of the bathtub to wait for her.
"You make me cry," Bell suddenly says, she is not angry or accusing Holi. She says it merely as if she is just stating a fact. "I know, Bell. I am sorry," Holi replied. Bell shrugs, "it's ok. I not cry now." Holi shakes her head, Bell is too sweet for this earth. "I love you Bell," Holi says and Bell beams, "I love you, mommy," she says and hops off the loo. Holi helps her put her pants back on, "I love Mac too," she says while Holi helps her wash her hands, "me too," Holi says.
Then she dries Bell's hands, "I love Austin too," she says and Holi freezes, "you do?" she finally manages to choke out and Bell nods, "Mac also love Austin he says that to me," Bell says and walks out the bathroom like she has not just dropped a bombshell on Holi. It's too late for her to do anything about what is happening between Bell, Mac, and Austin.
If there was ever a reason to clear the air with Austin this was as good of a reason as ever. She needs to straighten things out so that she can decide how to deal with Mac and Bell. She follows Bell out and sees that Austin is no longer on the bed and Mac is reading a comic book from his bed.
"Where is Austin?" she asks Mac. Mac looks up from his comic book and shrugs, "he said he was going to get you coffee and something else. I don't know. He will be back soon," Mac says.
There is a knock on the door and Holi spins around to see who it is, the hairs on the back of her neck stand up straight away. The woman who knocked does not need to introduce herself, Holi can tell a social worker straight away, she is defiantly from Child Services. She has two big burly men with her...she knows what their purpose is for - child removal.
"Hi, are you Holi?" the woman asks, trying to keep her smile bright and cheerful. Holi takes a few steps away from her and takes Bell with her, "who's asking?" she responds. The lady looks between Bell and Mac, "my name is Furn and I am from Child services. We have opened an investigation. I am afraid the children will be placed in our care until the investigation is complete," the woman says.
"An investigation? Of what? I have not done anything wrong," Holi says already trying to fight down the tears. Mac jumps out of bed and stands in front of his sisters in a bid to shield them from Furn's mocking smirk, "we are rich now! So leave us alone. We live in a house that is bigger than a castle. It has a pool and everything," Mac shouts at her. She only rolls her eyes.
"The mother of these children says she wants her kids back and we are in the business of keeping families together so the kids need to come with me."
"No. No-one will be going with you and from what I have heard you are not in the business of keeping families together rather you enjoy ripping them apart," Austin's voice rolls across the room like thunder making Holi, Mac, Bell, and Furn jump. Austin puts the coffee down then plants himself between the siblings and Furn.
"Get out," he says firmly. Furn looks weary of him but shakes her head slightly, "no, not without the two kids, their real mother -" Austin holds up her hand in indication for her to stop talking thus cutting her off mid-speech, "I don't care what your reasoning is. you are not taking them...end of," Austin says sternly yet calmly.
"I think you should care."
"Well I don't, so get out."
"If you don't let me take them freely I will get the police involved."
"Again I do not care. You are not taking these kids."
"Mr-"
"I am done with this conversation. Get out."
Furn looks at Austin for a moment then turns on her heel and leaves the room, her two bloodhounds hot on her heels. Austin turns to look at the three siblings. Holi can hear Bell let out a little sob behind her and then she sees Mac launch himself at Austin, Austin is quick to wrap his arms around Mac's shaking body.
"They will come back Austin. They are like vultures picking at our bones till they are dry," Mac says. Austin shushes him and tries to soothe him. Holi picks Bell up and moves into Austin's space. Austin winds his arm around them and draws them closer to him. Holi immediately starts to feel safe again. Austin will fix this, she just has to give him to chance to do so.
"This is the first time I have met Furn, but she has a reputation on the streets, Austin. She is evil," Holi says, the lump in her throat painful as she talks. Austin pulls them in tighter, "then we lawyer up. I think it's time to go home. Start packing, I am going to make a few phone calls," Austin stays and breaks up their little huddle.
The nurse from before comes in and Austin informs her that they are checking out today. She agrees and asks him to follow her to the office to complete the paperwork. Austin pulls out his phone and starts a phone call as he follows her out.
Holi feels a little uneasy at being left alone without Austin but he will be back soon. So she gets busy packing and getting them ready to leave. She will relax once they are back at Austin's house, safe and sound behind those heavy black gates.
Just as she finishes the hospital door bursts open again and Furn strides in again with her two bloodhounds again, "oh dear! Mr. Post does not know the system. He has so much to learn. Grab them," Furn instructs. Holi has been through this before and it's gut-wrenching every time.
Both Mac and Bell try to run, but the men are quicker and they bundle Mac and Bell who are both crying, screaming, and kicking in their arms and hold them in a tight grip. Holi is torn as she does not know who to attack first. She goes to the man holding Mac, thinking that if she can get him free he will help get Bell free but as she moves a third man that she had not noticed before grabs her then slams her against the wall holding her by the neck. Odd.
Holi hates child services, they are horrible. they steel children and rip families apart, but they have regulations and what this man is doing now to her is very against regulation. Something is going on here, something more than just child services. Furn walks up to her then and puts her face in Holi's face.
"Thank you for handing the children over without a fight Holi. Oh and...Chuck says hi," Furn says then starts to laugh. Holi's blood runs cold and she is going to be sick. Chuck is behind this. Furn starts to walk out and the two men follow her with Mac and Bell who are still kicking and screaming.
Holi is still pinned up against the wall by the third man who is slowly increasing the pressure on her throat, her vision is starting to go a little fuzzy. He leans in closer and sniffs her then licks the side of her face. Holi squeals and tries to push him away but he is so big, she does not stand a chance against him. "Chuck said you were a pretty little thing, and I have to say he is right," the words ooze out his mouth and he sniffs at her again.
Holi tries to bat him off but her limbs feel weak and she can't do much as he continues to squeeze her throat. Holi knows she is going to pass out at any moment. but then suddenly he is being ripped away from her and she falls in a gasping pile on the floor. Her vision is still blurry but when she looks over she can make out that the man on his back with Austin on top of him.
She can hear his bones being crushed with each slam of Austin's fist to his face. She can't let Austin go too far so she shakes her head and gathers her strength. She stands and rushes over to them. The man's face is already a bloody mess and Austin is not slowing down. Holi grabs his shoulder and whispers in his ear, "stop, Austin, stop," he responds immediately, looking up at her then releasing the man and getting up.
He starts checking over Holi to see if she is alright and she stops him, "stop fussing, Austin. I am fine. but they took Mac and Bell," she says. Austin's face clouds with anger, "it's ok, I have spoken with my lawyer. We will sort this out and get them back...I promise you," he says pulling her into him. Holi wants to believe him, she wants to let him handle all this. But this goes much deeper than just a child removal case. This was all set up by Chuck and Holi knows that there is only going to be one thing that will make this all go away.
She needs to find Chuck and make a deal with him, sell her soul to the devil. For Mac and Bell it's not a case of 'if' but of 'when'. She also knows that Austin will never let her do that so she is going to have to set her plan in motion quietly, without him knowing.
The man groans on the floor and tries to sit up. Holi and Austin watch him, "what type of child services is he from?" Austin asks under his breath, "the type that is easily bought, " Holi says. Austin shakes his head, she can see he is in disbelief. This is a world he has never had the misfortune of being wrapped up in. He will need to learn fast or he is going to get hurt. It does not matter that he makes Holi feel safe...in this world...this dark street world, everyone is fair game.
"I should call the police, get this guy locked up," Austin says making a move to get his phone. Holi stops him. She can't let him do anything to piss Chuck off any more than she already has, "no," she says, "it will do no good Austin. Just take me home, please."
Austin frowns and looks at Holi for a beat then nods. He grabs the bags she had already packed then her hand and starts to pull her out of the room. The man sits up as they walk past him and Austin stops in front of him then kicks him in his face and the man falls back again. Austin then leans over him slightly.
"Tell whoever sent you to stay away from my girl. I am not stupid. This is bigger than just child services. Harm one hair on either kid and there will be hell to pay," he spits out and the man just nods weakly.
Austin straightens up then continues out of the hospital room pulling Holi along with him. So maybe she was wrong, Austin is a clever man and it seems like he has already caught on as to how nasty and callous this world is. Maybe Holi should let him in on the plan that is brewing in her head.
But then she remembers his words to Trevor, Austin has a girlfriend, a life and Holi is only a fleeting moment in it. No, she will follow him home, let him make her feel safe, and then when she gets a chance she will slip away and set her plan in motion...without Austin.
Austin ushers her into his car and then as they drive home Holi crumbles a little as she thinks of Mac and Bell's scared little faces, their screaming still ringing in her ears. She will do and sacrifice anything and everyone to get them back.