Thoughts were attacking her mind. Why would the senior ignore her? At least she could say hey, we can't have more classes and that's it but instead, she said she'll let her know. Well, it's been days and Chaeyoung hates things unplanned.
She always has things super organized and it's great. But since Mina appeared, out of nowhere she insists, her plans never seem to take place correctly. It made her wonder if she was doing something wrong, but she was doing everything just the same. Studying, exercising, organizing her agenda, eating well, and being in love with her best friend, everything was the same. Why did she feel wrong? So Chaeyoung got really inside her head.
"Mashes potatoes," Dahyun said disappointed. "Way to ruin a day." She slid the tray to the side and stared at Chaeyoung with expectation, tapping the table with her fingers.
That was all oblivious to Chaeyoung, who was too busy reliving Monday's afternoon events in her head over and over again just to study it as she, in fact, ate her mashed potatoes.
"Hey," Tzuyu said as she sat with them.
"Chaeng," Dahyun tried.
"Uh, yeah?" Chaeyoung finally looked up.
"Was she spacing out again?" Tzuyu asked if it was a normal action already.
"Yes, it's getting annoying, honestly, what's in here?" Dahyun asked knocking Chaeyoung's head.
"Nothing, why?"
"It's Wednesday yet I have no sandwich," Dahyun explained. "Although I'm not saying is your duty, of course not, but I was kind of used to and it worries me because you never forget things... did you forget or just didn't feel like it? Which I repeat, is totally okay."
"Oh." Chaeyoung looked at her phone. It was Wednesday. The food could tell her that much, too.
"Oh?" Tzuyu frowned.
"I mean... yeah, I forgot. Sorry, should I buy you something?"
Dahyun sighed. "No, don't you see? I don't really care about the food just... why did you forget? What's on your mind lately?"
"Yeah, I've noticed too," Tzuyu said. "Is everything okay?"
Everything was just fine. Chaeyoung wanted to believe that. But she was annoyed. It was more than a week since she saw or spoke to Mina. It seemed the senior disappeared as fast as she appeared. How? And most importantly, why? Chaeyoung had been fine just confused but it was okay. Until it wasn't and her patience was running out by the second. She was nervous.
"It just slipped my mind, I guess that happens sometimes," Chaeyoung said feeling bad that that might be her new self. "I'm fine."
"How's your training with Mina going?" The mention of the name so out of nowhere caught her off guard, making her sit straight on her seat.
"Why?"
"Why? I'm just wondering. It seemed a promising activity."
'quite' Chaeyoung thought. "Just... it's okay."
"So unfair," Tzuyu mumbled probably still bitter about Chaeyoung not teaching her.
"I like it, I think it's great you're sharing with other people, you know besides us and Momo. Where is she by the way?"
"Don't know," Tzuyu answered. "I should go look for her."
Chaeyoung heard everything, processing it fast. Why would Dahyun think is great for her to spend time with other people? It bother her in a way but she dismissed it quickly because the mention of Momo made her confused brain come up with an idea. A risky idea.
"I'll go," she said getting up. "I— I promised Momo I'd— Yeah." Chaeyoung got up awkwardly lifting her tray as she received the curious looks of her friends. "See you." But she left, either way, Momo not being her objective in mind.
She made her way to the classrooms, seniors' classrooms, even if she was not looking for her directly, she knew there was a high possibility of finding Mina given the classrooms were close to each other. If the senior was not answering her texts or calls, not that she had tried much, though, she didn't want to appear desperate, then she needed to talk to her.
'Blonde hair, blonde hair, blonde hair...' Chaeyoung made her way looking at everyone that passed by. For sure she was going to find Mina, right? The possibilities were high according to her wishes of wanting to see Mina. What if the senior was injured or something?
When she was about to get to the door of Momo's classroom, a few meters away, she spotted it: blonde hair. Not just any blonde hair but Mina's beautiful locks. Chaeyoung breathed out in relief.
Mina appeared to be chatting with someone, but that was no issue in Chaeyoung's mind, so she walked decisively to talk to her too. She would have interrupted the conversation if it weren't for Momo interrupting her way.
"Chaeng! I took longer, did you guys already have lunch?" Momo hugged her rapidly as she got in between her and her target.
Chaeyoung was not focused, trying to look past Momo's shoulder. "Yeah, yeah..."
"Oh," Momo said sadden. "Well, let's go, we still have a few minutes."
"Right, right..." Chaeyoung repeated the same dismissive tone and took a step to the side, obviously showing how interested she was in something else.
Momo followed her gaze and quickly talked again. "Uh... hello? No. What are you doing?" She grabbed Chaeyoung's shoulders so she finally looked at her.
"I—" Chaeyoung realized she was being silly. Reckless even. "The lessons, we need to—"
"I hate to say this, but I already warned you, Chaeng, don't get involved with her."
Chaeyoung frowned immediately. 'this again' She could befriend whomever she felt like it and that's it, no matter what anyone could say. "I know how to judge people on my own, thank you very much."
"Yes, but I'm your friend," Momo said meaning every word. It made Chaeyoung think that she should trust her friends but...
"Then what is it? What is it that people say?"
"You really haven't heard?"
"Oh my god," Chaeyoung sighed. She had been willing to hear it for a second but the words Momo used, bringing it as gossip once again, were enough for her. "No, I haven't and you know what? I don't care." She was about to leave Momo there but just then realized Mina had turned around and walked past her, completely ignoring her presence. Somehow, it annoyed her. "She— Uh, we—" She cleared her throat and avoided eye contact with Momo. It was a bit embarrassing.
"Let's just go, Chaeng." Momo shook her head dismissing the topic almost as if she had won the argument. Chaeyoung felt too confused to complain about that.
***
More days passed and honestly, Chaeyoung couldn't stop thinking about it. But she tried her best and used all her confusing thoughts to hit the punching bag. She started training on a daily basis, not just regularly. Plus, just like with the taste of that particular coffee, what had caught Chaeyoung's mind now was her own arm muscle.
She added weight to her dumbbells and put a lot of time into just that, bulking up her biceps. To get her goal, she had even set up a pull-up bar. It was not weird as long as no one knew why she was doing it.
"Chaeng! Lunch is ready." Dahyun's voice was heard as well as her steps walking down the stairs to Chaeyoung's training room.
"Be right there."
But Dahyun didn't get back and sat on the stairs to wait for her. "You've been here a lot lately," she commented.
"Yeah, I'm trying to—" Chaeyoung lifted her body now with difficulty over the bar and got back down, "get muscle."
"Why? 'Cause you're so like a noodle?"
"What?" Chaeyoung jumped to the floor and walked closer to Dahyun using a towel to dry her sweat. "I'm not like a noodle."
"You are totally like it!" Dahyun got up and laughed at her.
Chaeyoung suspected she was only messing with her but she also felt insulted so she complained. "I'm small, okay? But I'm super strong, feel," she said offering her arm to Dahyun. It was silly because you could clearly see her arms were strong and Dahyun had even seen her back and toned stomach but if you challenged her, Chaeyoung was going to bite.
Dahyun had an entertained smile and extended her hand to feel Chaeyoung's arm. The contact messed a bit with Chaeyoung's mind but she pushed it aside. "You are stronger. How is it so strong," Dahyun asked as she let go of it and added, "yet you still look like a noodle?"
"I—" Chaeyoung was about to fight for her life but Dahyun burst out laughing and ran up the stairs. "I'm not like a noodle!"
Chaeyoung loved her laugh either way. Putting something on she throttled up too to have lunch. She definitely was not like a noodle.
As the day passed bearing no news of any sort, Chaeyoung spend a lazy afternoon. She tried her best to relax and ignore the constant urge to check for new messages. Everything felt almost like a fever dream. Had she actually been making out with a cute girl as she learned how to just to hurry and confess to her best friend? Yes. She had. But how did it all happen? How did it stop? Who even was that girl.
It was not until everyone went to sleep that she prepared to sleep too and allowed her head to wonder a bit more. Questions of what had happened. And why? But also how was she? Okay, apparently. According to the last brief time she saw her.
Chaeyoung got in bed and opened her chat with the senior. It had been weeks since the last exchange and the few messages Chaeyoung had sent asking if everything was okay.
'I wish I could ask Dahyun about it. Maybe Tzuyu... Momo would only tell me to stay away— What even is that about? Mina seems like no trouble how is it that—Oh my god'
Chaeyoung sat on her bed in the blink of an eye, touching the screen before the phone could lock. A message. She had the chat opened, she panicked thinking that she had sent something by mistake. But she had not, it was indeed Mina who had sent something.
Then it got weird.
From Mina
been great
been c
chaeyoudn
'Chaeyoundn? What the hell?' Anyone would wonder if answering so fast after weeks of nothing but Chaeyoung was not like that, she wanted answers and clear facts.
To Mina
Chaeyoudn?
From Mina
chaetojdn
chaeyound
chae
"Mina?" Chaeyoung got a call after the last attempt. "Is everything okay?"
Silence came and then Mina's giggles, Chaeyoung frowned. "Oh— It's... it worked, hi, cute dimples, what are you doing? How are you? Is— is it—"
"Mina, stop it. Have you been drinking? What's this? Are you okay? It's late."
"You rather phone calls, that's why, not because— not because I couldn't... write."
"That's not what I asked," Chaeyoung sighed. "Mina."
Mina didn't answer. You could hear her breathing. Chaeyoung could swear the senior was nervous. Or maybe she was projecting her own feelings.
"Cute dimples." Chaeyoung just hummed as an answer, feeling strange, so Mina continued, "Could I come in?"
"Wh— what?" Chaeyoung blinked and got out of bed way too fast, stamping her face against the window, to no avail because her window didn't have a view of the main door.
"It's cold, damn, I lost my jacket, I shouldn't have— I know I... I know I'm slurring my words."
Yeah, Chaeyoung could tell she was. She sighed heavily and put on a hoodie as she silently made her way downstairs. She unlocked the front door as quietly as she could and there she was. Supported against the fence with a crooked smile. It really was Mina but it was not the Mina Chaeyoung was used to seeing. Confidence was lacking.
"Cute dimp—"
"Shh," Chaeyoung hurried. "Do you have any idea how late it is? Let's go inside but please, please be quiet, alright?"
Chaeyoung was reacting. She had no idea how to deal with drunk people, she had no idea how to sneak someone in or out, she had no idea that in a way, she was glad Mina was in her presence.
With difficulty and probably not that quietly, she managed to get Mina upstairs to her bedroom. She closed the door and sighed heavily taking in the sight in front of her.
Drunk Mina, stumbling until she reached her bed, falling somehow softly and with a silly smile. Now that Chaeyoung had turned the lights on, she could see clearly how Mina was indeed wearing too few clothes for a cold night and her eye makeup...
"Were you crying?"
Mina's smile didn't fade but she seemed surprised and tried to wipe the makeup away. "N— no. What? No, it's," she said with her hands on her face.
Chaeyoung could tell it was not going to work so she walked to her desk looking for cleansing towelettes and turned to do it herself, clearly seeing Mina was not at her best and also as a reflect, having had to do and undo Dahyun's makeup all the time.
"Here, let me," she said positioning herself in front of the girl oddly seated on her bed.
"It's fine," Mina protested and tried to cover her face. Chaeyoung insisted. "I'm— really—"
"Stay still," Chaeyoung said getting closer and removing Mina's hands, who insisted on moving and trying to cover her face. "Mina, come on," she tried softly and actually reached her face, wiping the stains away. As tender as she could given Mina was not relaxed, Chaeyoung tried to hold her head with the other hand.
"I don't— I don't want," Mina whined and Chaeyoung worried and stopped.
"What do you not want?"
"I—" Mina shook her head.
"Where were you?" Chaeyoung looked for her eyes, even if she was not that comfortable with much eye contact, with Mina was fine. The senior only looked at them briefly.
"At a party."
"Why are you alone, then?" Chaeyoung used Mina being distracted and wiped the other side.
Mina breathed in and seemed nervous. "I shouldn't have gone, I— should not be— be here."
She tried to get up, but she failed. Chaeyoung held her and only kept getting worried. Mina's hands were shaking. Chaeyoung had no idea, once again, how to deal with any of this. But Mina was breathing weirdly and she needed to do something, putting her brain to work, she realized.
Gathering all her courage, she moved closer and wrapped Mina in her arms. Tightly. Just when tears were forming in her eyes. Chaeyoung was trying to comfort her, but she would be lying if she said she didn't feel relieved herself feeling her close once again after so long.
She moved away a bit and kissed her temple longingly. "Is it— is it better?"
Mina was fighting with her breathing and seemed just as upset. "Wh— why?"
"Sometimes we just need to be held," Chaeyoung used Mina's words of the lesson she had. Chaeyoung was trying to put it into practice. She did not let go of Mina and fixed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear before leaning and kissing her again. Softly against her forehead, warm cheeks, and jaw. Nervous? She was. But she had to do something right for her. Mina sniffed and seemed to be recovering her normal breathing.
Joining their foreheads, Chaeyoung looked for her eyes again, Mina had them tightly closed as tears kept streaming down her cheeks. So she did the best next thing, using her thumbs to wipe tears away, she pressed her lips against Mina's.
Mina moved back a bit, surprised, probably. But since Chaeyoung's hands were in her head, she didn't get far. She accepted the kiss. Parting her lips slightly. It was different. One because Chaeyoung had started and two because it was... salty. Chaeyoung just kissed her lips messily and backed away.
"You— You don't have to kiss me, cute dimples," Mina said softly as they were close. So close.
"But you're upset." Chaeyoung didn't stop looking at Mina's enticing lips. Maybe upset was just an excuse.
"I—"
"You seem better," Chaeyoung whispered too, leaning down again. Testing softly if Mina accepted her lips, which she did. The kiss started slow but escalated quickly. Yes, Chaeyoung only wanted to make Mina feel better, nothing else.
Therefore, she pushed. She nibbled on Mina's lips with eagerness, until Mina opened her mouth more and their tongues, so familiar by now, found each other. It all happened so fast, Mina ended up laying on the bed. It was all thanks to Chaeyoung's efforts, so she, of course, followed and somehow, kissing laying down felt even better. She supported her forearms on the sides of Mina's head. Mina, instead, had her hands carefully under Chaeyoung's cleavage, almost trying to keep distance.
Chaeyoung got lost in the kiss, she always had many thoughts when kissing the senior. Most of the time, about Dahyun. But that was because of the lessons, this time, it wasn't a lesson. The motive was Mina. Mina feeling better. Yet, as a minute passed of them passionately kissing, like never before, she had to wonder. How was it that she always felt secure and wanting to kiss the senior? It probably was because she knew she could, right? That's what they did. Kiss. But maybe if not in a lesson it was not right. One thing is for sure, it felt nice. So nice it was confusing.
Chaeyoung stopped the kiss abruptly. They shouldn't kiss outside lessons. But she was a good student, so she left a peck signaling she was stopping and moved away from Mina's space.
"You're... better at it."
"Sorry, this is not a lesson," Chaeyoung said apologetically. "Here," she passed her hoodie over her shoulders and handed it to Mina as she stood up, "this one is warm, you're cold, you can wear it. I'll call you a ride."
Mina sat on top of the bed, her hair slightly messy now. She took the hoodie and wore it but she looked down after. "Chaeyoung," she tried. "I don't— I don't really want to go."
"Oh." Yeah, Chaeyoung should've realized that much. There was a reason Mina went to her house and not her own. She lacked touch once again. "Sorry. I— I don't really, I—" Chaeyoung sighed and came up with a plan. "Okay, sleep here, I can wake you up in a few hours, we have school but I can wake you up in time for you to go home and get your uniform and stuff, okay," Chaeyoung walked to her closet getting another hoodie and walked to the door. "Just—"
"Wait," Mina interrupted her. "Where are you going?"
"Downstairs, it's fine, I've slept there before, the sofa is actually—"
"Don't go, please," Mina hurried and even if she still sounded quite drunk, it was obvious to Chaeyoung that the girl was mostly upset. "Stay here."
"Don't worry, it really is no trouble."
"Please don't make me say it again." Mina looked down and fixed her hair. "I don't want to be alone."
Chaeyoung gulped. She felt useless and she wanted to help. Once again Mina had wrecked her plans completely. Turning off the lights, she walked back to bed. Mina got inside and moved to the side. Chaeyoung got in too but remained sat. Breathing slowly.
The silence was loud. She felt the need to break it.
"Are you still cold?"
Mina chuckled and got on her side, closer to Chaeyoung. "Are you cold?"
"No, why?"
"Then I'm not either."
"Why does that—"
Mina laughed softly again and moved even closer to support her head in Chaeyoung's lap. "Were you not making out with me just now?"
Chaeyoung didn't answer. It surprised her that Mina even upset and drunk had the power to mess with her.
"I was."
"Kissing is not the solution for everything, by the way, maybe I gave you that wrong impression when I met you," Mina answered just forgetting to explain to Chaeyoung what not being cold had to do with them making out.
But, yeah. Mina had tried to kiss Chaeyoung when they met just to make her feel better but maybe the situation merited it. Although Mina had used it again and now... Chaeyoung felt it worked.
She felt curious. Moving carefully she laid on her side too, both girls now covered under the sheets up to their shoulders.
"But it works."
"Does it?"
"You do seem better." It couldn't be any other reason. Chaeyoung knew cause and effect. Kisses make it better, that's what she had learned. And sometimes, being soft.
Mina stared into Chaeyoung's eyes. It wasn't awkward. Chaeyoung had got used to her. It's hard for her sometimes to make eye contact or be around anyone but Mina was no longer anyone.
"You do know I'm drunk, right?"
"I only tasted tears," Chaeyoung answered without thinking twice about what she was saying.
"You taste our kisses?"
"I—" Chaeyoung felt exposed but it was the truth. Mina giggled once again.
"Wanna try again? Have you tried flavored vodka?"
"No," Chaeyoung gulped unconsciously. She felt Mina closer and her heart went faster.
"Should I?" Mina whispered against her lips. Chaeyoung had closed her eyes. She was weak, it was no secret Mina's kisses made her feel great.
But after a few seconds that seemed eternal, Chaeyoung felt weight against her chest making her get on her back. Mina had snuggled up to her and seemed ready to sleep. Oddly, the proximity didn't bother her. Chaeyoung sighed.
She used a hand to caress Mina's always captivating hair. "What happened tonight?" She had to try.
Mina didn't answer, Chaeyoung thought maybe she had indeed fallen asleep but that fast? Then she just said, "People talk." Her voice broke and Chaeyoung brought her closer. Mina cried a bit again before falling asleep.
***
The next morning Chaeyoung woke up exactly when she had wanted to. But she was alone. She got up to check the bathroom and even downstairs all quietly but the senior was gone. She cursed being a heavy sleeper.
Back in her bedroom, at the feet of the bed, the yellow hoodie she had lent to her lay folded. Without realizing what she was doing, Chaeyoung took it and brought it to her nose. A barely recognizable sweet scent was felt for a second. Had the senior gone home or somewhere else? Either way, she didn't text. Just waited to go to school and find out there.
"Did you have trouble sleeping last night?" Dahyun yawned on their way to school.
"Wh— No, why?"
"I heard noises, must've been dreaming." Chaeyoung was thankful Dahyun dismissed the issue that fast, she was becoming a liar, and she didn't like that. Not to Dahyun.
"For sure..."
"So, uh... he did, by the way," Dahyun formed carefully, "join the debate team, I mean."
"Oh." Chaeyoung was surprised by the twist in the conversation. Although, she did like her friend could talk to her about such topics. "Nice."
"Yeah... he is. Nice, I mean. We do— we do share a lot— It's— we're in the same... same side for... yeah." Dahyun didn't seem nervous to Chaeyoung. To Chaeyoung, Dahyun seemed confused. She talked as if she was trying to convince someone. Was it Chaeyoung who she was trying to convince? Unclear.
"Nice," Chaeyoung repeated lamely. It was not her intention to sound uninterested, at all, she just really didn't have much to say.
Maybe just maybe her brain was distracted considering different approaches to other certain things certain blonde had made her worry about. Why was Mina so upset?
"Nice." Dahyun didn't seem to mind Chaeyoung's emotion-lacking response. She was used to her distinctive self, either way.
Chaeyoung glanced at her as they kept walking and her friend smiled. Chaeyoung quickly dismissed her burdens and smiled back, feeling better than before. She reached out her hand and Dahyun took it. It was perfect to feed her dreamy hopes once again.
Chaeyoung really loved her.
***
Luckily, Chaeyoung didn't have the time to worry about the senior during school time. She had the obligation set to herself of focusing on her assignments, of course. She was slightly getting lower on her marks, not enough to stop being number one but enough for her to notice.
It was an easy fix. Chaeyoung had it all under control, of course.
That's why it seemed as if just on queue when she marked done her last task in her phone agenda and a message popped on the screen.
From Mina
Main door, in five.
Chaeyoung smiled and got up. She was at the library with Tzuyu and Dahyun who was returning a book. She probably shouldn't have got up so fast, Dahyun was not done, but it passed unnoticed. Then she realized.
To Mina
Main? what about west?
From Mina
🙄
Well, it was settled, then. Chaeyoung didn't mind... much. She just felt a bit embarrassed picturing her friends and Mina together, but it was okay. Besides, she didn't want to walk without Dahyun who has been holding her hand all day long.
Again, as if everything was coming into place, Dahyun returned and took her hand.
"Let's go."
"I'm so hungry," Tzuyu expressed as they started to walk out.
"Let's order something, wanna come with us?"
Chaeyoung nodded at Dahyun's word, they could invite Momo as well, it's been a while.
"Really? Awesome," Tzuyu smiled.
They were about to reach the main entrance. Chaeyoung got slightly nervous. And much more when she noticed Mina was already there. Dahyun's hand suddenly felt different.
Tzuyu and Dahyun were talking, Chaeyoung got distracted. When they were about to pass Mina, and the senior noticed Chaeyoung and her friends, she cleared her throat and stopped walking.
"I— uh, I—"
"Hey, cute dimples." Mina approached them and, probably, saved her. "Hi," she said to both her friends. "Mind if I take her for a minute?"
"Hi, Mina," Dahyun smiled and let go of Chaeyoung's hand. "Sure. Come on, Tzu."
Chaeyoung was left there, slightly blushing, and missing Dahyun's hand. She needed to improve being in the presence of both girls. It was silly. She was better than that.
"You hold hands now," Mina raised her brows and smiled at her. She looked as bright as ever, no trace of her state from last night.
Chaeyoung got back to life. "No. I mean, yes. But we've always had, it's just... you know."
"Well, it's something, I guess."
"Yeah... so, how ar—"
"Listen, cute dimples, I'm sorry about last night. I was not at my best so thank you."
"You okay now?"
"Yeah, totally. I'm sorry I bothered you that late and also... I'm sorry I ignored you these past weeks, I was uh— well, sorry."
"Right," Chaeyoung had forgotten about that. "No worries, but why wo—"
"I was busy, I said I would call you about the lessons but I didn't have the time and now, I was wondering if you still wanted them, I owe you for last night, after all."
That made Chaeyoung smile wide. Yes, of course she wanted them. See? Perfect to get everything back on track. "Yes, please."
Mina scoffed and smiled at her with that look Chaeyoung was sure it came whenever she had said something questionable, but whatever. "You seem eager."
"I am, I told you before."
"Right... so, whenever you want, maybe we can have about three more? You're way better anyway, I think that's enough."
"Totally," Chaeyoung said and took her phone. "Uh... tomorrow works?"
Mina chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, okay, tomorrow."
Chaeyoung typed and heard Mina saying, "Alright, see you at five," when she walked away. It was perfect.
She returned without hiding her smile from her friends and grabbed Dahyun's hand. No one made any comment about it and they got milkshakes with Momo once they got home.
Chaeyoung forgot to wonder why Mina had been ignoring her and forgot to worry about Mina's behavior from last night. Instead, she focused on her expectations for tomorrow. She got her lessons back and she got a number. Life was great. And Dahyun's hand felt amazing.