The next morning Esra stayed in her room till she was sure Ozan had left. The events of the previous day had thrown her off kilter and she didn't want to deal with, or examine, what she was feeling. She would be out of here soon enough and put all her wayward thoughts behind her.
Ozan could barely concentrate at work. He realized that Esra was avoiding him and he wished he could fix whatever it was that was broken. He reached for his phone multiple times during the day to text her before changing his mind.
He decided to go home a little late. If she wanted space, he would give her space. He walked into an empty apartment, and his heart immediately sank thinking the worst. He ran to her room - relieved to see that her stuff was still there. He pulled out his phone to see if she had left any messages. Nothing.
He started to worry. It was very unlike her to stay out this late and not inform him. He texted her a quick message
Ozan : Hey, where are you?
He waited ten minutes, his anxiety growing in leaps and bounds. He tried calling her, but she didn't pick up. He sent another text.
Ozan : Esra Neredesin? I'm starting to worry.
He stared at his phone, willing her to response, letting out a deep breath when he saw the dot.dot.dot of her typing.
The dots disappeared and he cursed. They appeared again and he held his breath.
Esra : No need to worry!
Ozan : Esra I told Ceren I would watch out for you. At least tell me where you.
Esra : At the new bar near the apartment. Actually I'm in the restroom in the bar near the apartment.
Ozan grinned in spite of himself. Was she drunk? He could almost hear her giggling.
Ozan : Alone?
Esra : In the restroom? Yes
Ozan : 😒
Esra : 😛I came with a colleague.
Esra : I might also be drunk 🍹🍸🍷🥃
Esra looked down at her screen waiting for him to respond with a smart-alec comment. But he said nothing.
Esra : Ozan?
She stared at her phone for a beat, shrugged, and headed back to the table. She had wanted to leave at least an hour earlier but Cinar had been rather persuasive and brought a steady flow of alcohol to the table. She looked down at her feet certain that they was walking ahead of the rest of her body. Ooooh yeah, she was nicely drunk.
Cinar smiled at her as she sat back down in her chair. "What can I order for you next?"
Esra shook her head, the movement causing her to wince. "No, no I should stop and head home now," she said, starting to rise.
Cinar, put a hand on her arm and stopped her. "Another drink won't hurt. We didn't finish talking about your project idea."
"She said she had enough," a steely voice said from behind Esra.
Certain she was now imagining Ozan, she turned her head slowly, blinking a few times at his angry face as he glared down at Cinar.
He turned to look at her, his face softening instantly, and her lips widened into a loopy smile - it was him.
"Dude, I got this," Cinar replied, his voice laced with annoyance. "Who are you anyway?"
"Come on Esra," Ozan said, ignoring Cinar and picking up her purse and jacket, "let's go."
"Hey!" Cinar shouted angrily, "Who the fuck do you think you are? We aren't done."
"Oh I think you are," Ozan ground out, his eyes raging, his fists curled in a ball.
Cinar's eyes dropped to Ozan's fist then skimming over the bulging muscles of his arms. His shoulders dropped in defeat. "Whatever. I got what I wanted anyway," he added cryptically.
-----
Ozan half carried her back to the house. He opened the door to the apartment and guided her in.
"What were you thinking Esra? The guy was trying to get you drunk."
She looked at him with hurt eyes, "I can look after myself. I'm not some country bumpkin."
He exhaled exasperated, "I never said you were. I just don't trust these men in the city."
"Well I don't need to be rescued. Not by you, not by...."
She stopped mid-sentence, "....sick. I'm going to be sick," she said, covering her mouth with her hand and half running, half stumbling to the bathroom.
He ran with her, opening the toilet seat just in time for her to hurl right into it. She sank to her knees and he followed her down, gently pulling back the hair from her face as she retched some more. He held her hair together in the fist of one hand, his mind pausing very briefly to marvel at the silky softness of it, and he rubbed her back with his free hand. She groaned and he whispered comfortingly in commiseration.
"I..I think I'm ok now," she said in a small voice.
"Good, I'm glad. Let's wash your face and you can go to bed."
She nodded, as she let him lead her to the sink. She rinsed out her mouth and washed her face, and grabbed the towel he handed to her, burying her face in it. Ugh, she was mortified. Only her close friends had seen her this drunk.
"I'm embarrassed," she said, her face still hidden in the towel, so that her voice came out muffled.
He huffed out a short laugh, and hugged her to him briefly. "Don't be."
When she refused to lift her face out of the towel, he tugged gently on it, "Hey..."
She allowed him to pull the towel out of her hands, and looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears, her lips turned downwards. "Only my friends have seen me throw up."
"Then nothing has changed," he said decisively.
A tiny smile broke out on her lips at his implied message.
"Hadi," he grabbed her hand and led her to her bed - smiling as she flopped onto it like a rag-doll.
He bent and held her ankle, feeling her stiffen briefly at his touch, until she realized what he was doing. He took off her shoes and pulled the blanket over her. He watched as her eyelids closed, amazed at how angelic she looked in her sleep - nothing like the firecracker he knew her to be.
Unable to resist, he stroked his thumb down her soft cheek before turned to leave.
She grabbed his hand taking him by surprise, "Ozan," she said sleepily, her eyes still closed, "thank you."
"Anytime," he whispered back.
"Always be my friend, tamam mı?" she said, her voice so soft he had to strain to hear it.
"Always," he murmured, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.
------
The next morning Esra walked out of her room to find Ozan in the kitchen.
"Gunayadin," she said sheepishly.
"Gunayadin," he smiled at her disarmingly. "Made you some coffee, and here's something for the headache," he said placing a bottle on the counter.
She took a sip of the coffee and sighed deeply, "Ah! Exactly what I needed. Thank you...again."
"You don't have to thank me Esra. You would do the same for me, dimi?"
"Tabi ki!" she responded immediately.
He waved his hand dismissing the conversation, "Then we are good."
"Ya.." she conceded shyly.
"Ya..," responded affectionately.
"Do you want a ride to work?" he asked.
"No, it's fine. I'll go in a little late. You go ahead."
"Tamam. I'll see you in the evening?"
She nodded.
"It's Friday, you'll let me know if you're staying out late?" he asked, a little bit of doubt still lingering in his voice.
"I will," she smiled at him, "söz. But I won't go out tonight, " she touched her head lightly and grimaced, "I don't think I'm ready yet."
He chuckled in response, pleased that she had no plans for the evening.
----
That evening Ozan left work at 6 o clock sharp deliberately avoiding Musa's raised eyebrow. He rushed home and opened the apartment only to find it dark...again. A sharp taste of bitterness rose to his mouth - she wasn't here...again.
He dropped his bag on the sofa, and yanked at his tie, stilling suddenly when he heard a sound. It sounded like a sob, and it was coming from Esra's room.
"Esra?" he knocked on the door twice, before slowly opening it, giving her time to shoo him away.
She didn't though, and he entered to find her curled up in her bed, sobbing into her pillow.
"Esra'm," he rushed to her side, and sat beside here, "what's wrong?? Söyle bana!"
"He...he.." she sobbed.
"Who? Did someone hurt you?" Ozan stomach churned in fear.
He grabbed her hands and wiped at the tears, "talk to me Esra."
"C..Cinar.." she stuttered.
"What did he do? That bastard!"
Esra shook her head. "He stole my idea and presented it as his own at the board meeting. That's why he got me drunk yesterday. He was asking me so many questions. And I was so stupid I just kept talking as I got more and more drunk."
"Damn! We can't let him get away with that!"
"No one will believe me Ozan! I'm just a new employee. He's been there for a few years."
She swiped angrily at her tears, and sat up in a huff. "I hate all men. They either disappoint you or hurt you!"
"Uhhh..."
"Just look at my dad and my brother, " she continued ignoring him, "my dad is always letting my mother down, my brother is a disappointment to my parents. I mean even your dad did nothing but hurt your mom! My friend Ceren's dad is a drunk..."
"I'm..." Ozan tried interrupting again.
"I know I know. But you're my friend. You're not..."
Don't say it, don't say it, he repeated in his head.
"...you're not really a man."
He let out a choked sound.
"I mean, you're a man," Esra immediately back-peddled, "but not like a man, man." Nope that wasn't any better, she cringed at her word vomit and buried her face in her hands.
"Esra....!" Ozan didn't know if he was annoyed or hurt -probably a good mix of both. He really didn't enjoy being categorized as a non-entity.
"Ozan! That's not what I meant!"
She turned earnestly to look at him, her heart sinking when she saw the hurt on his face before he turned away. She really didn't mean to dismiss his manhood, all she meant was that he was more of a friend than a man to her - it made sense in her head.
"Bana bak," she said, holding his cheek and turning him to face her, momentarily distracted because it brought his face very close to hers and she could see the pretty brown flecks in his eyes. Focus Esra.
"I just meant that you would never hurt me, like the men in my life...right?" she meant it as a statement, but it turned into a question from her own insecurities.
He allowed her to turn his head so he was looking straight at her - her eyes wide and trusting, her mouth still slightly open, as if she was wanted to say more, but was holding back, waiting for him to speak.
In that moment Ozan wanted more than anything for her to believe that she could rely on him, that he would always be there for her when she needed him - because he would.
His eyes roamed her face. "Never," he said softly, fiercely. "I would never hurt you."
She bit down on her lip - suddenly shy from the intensity of his gaze and his words.
The bite was his undoing.
Maybe it was the fact that she thought he wasn't quite a man, maybe it was the need to prove her wrong, maybe it was the way she had tried to appease him - all wide-eyed and innocent, maybe it was her intoxicating scent that was filling his senses, maybe it was the way her teeth dipped into her plump lower lip and made him want to taste its sweetness, maybe it was all the love he carried for her in his heart - growing over the years and finally reaching a tipping point....
He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.
Notes (2022-03-03)
Firstly - Sorry, this chapter took some time to write. Real life and work pulled me in multiple different directions :)
Of course I had to make Cinar an asshole here too, there will never be a doubt lol.
I wanted to add the bit about Ozan picking up her purse and jacket because its really such an endearing quality of his.
I was inspired by the scene in SonYaz where Selim looks after a drunk Canan. There's something so sweet about a man just being there and taking care of the woman in that moment.
Also the ya-ya exchange they have is one of my favorite #eszan banter bits.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed drunk Esra and the aftermath, and the beginning of a kiss that has been building up since day 1 :)