September arrived with the eventual distribution of the news that Regulus, the only living Black heir, had disappeared. It was in an Order Of The Phoenix meeting when they found—it at Dirk Creswell's house this time. Sirius' face remained a mask, his jaw clenched, not showing any reaction that he had even heard. El remained still as well, though it was somewhat easier for her—this was not a surprise. The news was somewhat brushed over, Dumbledore quickly changed the subject to upcoming missions, though it practically fell on deaf ears.
El's eyes remained focused on one spot, waiting for Dumbledore to finish. She wanted a drink. She wanted the old man to stop droning on so she could leave. She didn't even notice her leg was bouncing until James placed his hand on her knee to stop it, he left it there, tracing a soft pattern in the hopes to soothe her.
It felt like hours when the meeting was finally dismissed, people stood and slowly made their way out as Dirk put the kettle on for those who wanted to stay. Sirius and Remus left almost instantly, avoiding eye contact from everyone.
"El, James, you want tea?" Dirk asked, setting mugs out for everyone.
"You got anything stronger?" El replied as her and James moved to stand by the kitchen counter. A few others who had stayed were dispersed through the kitchen and living room.
"My kind of woman," Dirk chuckled, filling a glass with firewhiskey.
"Watch it," James cautioned with a good humoured grin. "Am i good to smoke in here?"
"Yeah yeah, go ahead."
James lit two cigarettes and passed El one. She swallowed her firewhiskey in one go, then held her glass out for Dirk to refill. James took the glass from her and placed it on the counter beside him, she glared at him but said nothing. Dirk passed James a mug, then took a sip from his own.
"What d'you reckon happened to the Black heir? Regulus, was it?" Dirk said conversationally.
El bit her tongue, "dunno."
"You reckon he's dead? I reckon he ran away," Dirk continued.
"Look let's not talk about this, yeah?" James intervened.
El ignored him, "what do you mean, ran away?" she took a threatening step forward.
Dirk clearly didn't sense El's tone, he continued on casually, "just that he probably left. Joined the wrong side then pussied out last minute."
El snapped, jumping forward, but James caught her before she reached Dirk, she struggled against him but didn't manage to remove herself from him grip.
Dirk flinched, moving away, "oi you need help, man—you're fucking deranged!"
"Oh fuck you!" El spat, still unable to move for James' arms around her.
All the commotion drew the attention on the other few Order members left, Morgan and Evan both rushed over, standing between the arguing pair.
"What've you done, Creswell?" Morgan asked.
"I haven't done anything, Potter needs to get his witch under control! She's got some fucking screws loose, that one!" Dirk shouted.
"Don't fucking piss me off, Creswell, i'm doing you a favour right now," James spat, still holding El behind him.
"Potter, take El home," Evan instructed.
"Stop talking about me like i'm not fucking here!" El shouted. She breathed deeply, "don't worry, we're leaving." James followed her out, then apparated them both home.
"You okay?" James asked, offering her a cigarette which she gratefully took.
She was so angry he could feel the magic crackling from her. "You should've let me hit him," she muttered.
James stroked a gentle hand through her hair, "sorry, love."
"He's a prick."
"I know," he kissed her forehead.
It was silent for a moment. "Do you think Regulus died?" El asked, her tone casual despite the topic.
He thought for a moment, "i dunno. There's no reports of a body being found."
"Do you really think Death Eaters would kill him then just dump his body in the Thames? His body could be anywhere."
James shifted, "there's no use thinking about it, love, it won't help anything."
She sighed, "i know, but it's been months and i know no more than the day he left."
He wrapped both arms around her, "i don't know what to say. Sorry."
"It's okay," she said while nestling her face in his chest.
***
No body was ever found, no more word of Regulus reached members of The Order. That was it: he was dead and people moved on. Sirius seemed adamant on convincing everyone he was fine, he was louder than usual—even by his standards, and seemed to be drinking and smoking more.
No one in The Order addressed it. Everyone had known someone that had died by now and no one was coping very well, they didn't have time to dwell. As long as they could walk, the missions continued. Even more frequently now, it meant that El and James' days off rarely coincided, one of them would get home just five minutes before the other would leave. The war seemed to be having the same effect on many couples, Sirius and Remus especially. They did not stand as close now, or meet each other's eye as much. It was heartbreaking to see, two people who were so in love with each other, yet so terrible at communication.
November arrived with cold weather and James' attempt to get everyone to smile for Sirius' birthday. He dragged El, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marisa, Marlene and Dorcas to the Potter Manor and instructed they each brought a broom (Remus tried to refuse, but was overruled or else the teams would be uneven).
The grass in the garden of Potter Manor was crispy with frost and crunched underfoot as they all gathered on the temporary quidditch pitch James had set up. The large field he called a garden had three tall quidditch posts at either end, only a little smaller than the pitch at Hogwarts.
"Okay, Padfoot and myself can be team leaders. It's your birthday so i'll let you have first pick," James instructed as him and Sirius stood in front of the other six.
"El," Sirius said confidently, spudding her fist as she came and stood next to him.
"Hey!" James protested, "fine, i get Remus."
"Be my guest, he's terrible at quidditch," Sirius smirked. "Marlene."
Marlene strode over to her team looking very confident. James then chose Dorcas, Sirius got Peter, and Marisa went to James' team. They had a short discussion of how they were going to play before taking their positions. Each team was playing with one chaser, one keeper, one beater and one seeker. James of course had everything they needed, beaters were given their bats before James released only one bludger, then the snitch, then finally the quaffle, which was lighter and slightly smaller than the one they had used back at Hogwarts.
El and James had been assigned the role of chasers for their respective teams, and both hurtled towards the quaffle, El caught it though James was close on her tail.
She smiled smugly as he pulled up alongside her, "i thought you were meant to be good at quidditch, Bambi."
"Don't get too cocky, Letter, i'm going easy on you here."
The old nicknames unlocked bittersweet memories; it felt like they were back in Hogwarts again; before the war, before Regulus had died. James circled her as they flew, then blocked her attempt at a goal. She glared at him, then quickly did a 180 to follow him in the direction of his goal posts. Sirius sent a bludger their way, which they both dodged, then El bashed her side against his, hard, he dropped the quaffle, Marlene caught it, and threw it back to El.
***
They played game after game outside until their fingers were too numb with cold to carry on. Sirius' captaincy led their team to win the majority of the matches and now James, who seemed to only person on his team to actually care, was pouting. They all left their brooms by the back door, then went into the mansion where Julie was waiting for them, tray of tea in hand.
"Happy birthday, Master Sirius! Julie is so happy you came to visit!" she said, excitedly as ever.
"Hello, Julie," Sirius smiled, patting her head as she hugged his leg, "i'm sorry it's been so long."
"Don't be, Julie loves it here, lots for Julie to do. Manor is very big!" she walked round the group, shaking the hands of the witches and wizards she had never met before. "Master James! Julie didn't know what foods you wants, so Julie made pie, pasta, roast chicken and fish and chips while yous were playing outside."
James smiled down at her, "thanks, Julie, you're a saint."
They followed Julie through to the dining room, where food was piled high along the long table, they took their seats, with James at the head of the table, Sirius to his right, El to his left.
"Who wants beer?" James asked, to which everyone nodded, just as he was about to go fetch eight, Julie stopped him.
"Don't worry, Master James, Julie already got beers," she smiled, levitating a 24 pack into the room.
"Thank you, Julie."
Each person uncapped their bottle in turn, then James raised his in the air, "Happy birthday, Padfoot, mate, you're one year closer to going grey."
"Cheers!" they chorused, clinking their bottles together while Sirius stuck his middle finger up at James.
It was nice, the evening. It was the first time all of them had been together in a long time, other than for Order meetings, for one evening they all put any war-related thoughts to the back of their minds. Once they finished eating, they moved to the living room, where Julie had already lit the fireplace, each couple sat together, cuddling as they chatted late into the night until the beers and full bellies caused them to drift off to sleep.
The only couple that didn't sleep however, were El and James. He was laying on top of her, practically squishing her, and began kissing her neck gently. A shiver went down her spine.
"James," El whispered into the near-silent room.
He made a noise, then some how his hands found their way under her shirt.
"James, are you really trying to turn me on in a room full of our friends?"
"Yes," he mumbled, hands stroking lightly against the bare skin of her torso.
"Fucking exhibitionist," she hissed.
"Well i'm succeeding, aren't i?"
El didn't think she needed to dignify that one with a response.
She heard James chuckle lowly, before he stood up from the sofa, picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. El said nothing until they had left the lounge, "where are we going?"
"I figured we could both use a shower."
He didn't place her back on the ground until they reached the en-suite by James' old bedroom, he turned the shower on for it to warm up, then lightly tugged at the hem of El's shirt, until she allowed him to take it off.
He breathed out a shaky exhale, "i love you," he licked his lips, eyes still on her chest. He kissed around her collar bones, then further down, taking one nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue against the bud, then releasing it. El pulled his shirt over his head, then felt up every inch of the newly exposed skin, running her hands over his broad shoulders, then all the way down to where a pair of sports joggers rested low on his hips. She pulled them down a little until they fell down the rest of the way on their own, her eyes then met James' who was looking at her with a delightful mix of lust and adoration.
His hand went to the back of her neck, holding it firmly to angle her head upwards so his lips could meet hers. They broke apart only so they could rid themselves of whatever clothing remained, then James picked El up by the thighs, encouraging her to wrap her legs round his waist as he carried her into the shower. Cold tile hit her back, but she had no time to complain as James' mouth covered whatever words she was about to speak. The hot water fell over both of them, causing James' hair to finally lay flat and stick to his forehead. All his weight pressed against her, holding her against the wall so James' hands were free to do other things. His thumb flicked against one of her nipples until it hardened, that was when James' mouth left hers and trailed down to her chest again, taking it into his mouth.
El arched her back off the wall, pushing herself closer to James until he placed her back on her feet, though his body still remained on hers, pinning her against the tiles. He kissed her firmly, holding her face between both his hands so he could control every detail of how they kissed; it was a fine art that James had now mastered.
His weight eased, and he moved away from to wall to stand directly under the hot spray, tilting his head back to fully wash himself. El admired him from where she stood, the lighting made him look borderline god-like.
He reached out for her, then moved out of the way so the water could fall on her head instead of his. He smiled down at her then wiped to stray mascara from under her eyes.
"I think you might be the hottest person i've ever seen," he whispered, his eyes scanning across her face.
"Hmm, you got lucky, didn't you?" she smiled up at him smugly, hugging him around his waist.
He spun her round so he was standing behind her, then bent down to whisper in her ear. "Very."
He moved her hair on to one shoulder so her neck was unobstructed. He kissed down it, as one hand edged between her thighs. One finger gently played with her clit and El's thighs unconsciously spread further. Her mouth fell open and her head fell back to rest against James' shoulder. A finger pushed inside her, followed by a second, which both gently put pressure on her g-spot. She let out a breathy moan, reaching back to turn James' head so she could kiss him. His spare hand came up to grip her throat so she was held in place from every angle.
"You're being very quiet, come on, Burke, i wanna hear you," he accented his words with a deep thrust of his fingers. She moaned loudly, her body uncontrollably shaking as he strummed her clit.
"Merlin, James," she moaned, moving against his firm hold.
"That's better," he whispered, taking her earlobe between his teeth.
Her moans were breathy and high pitched now as James' slow yet delightful rhythm continued. Her body was pressed so tightly against the soft planes of his muscled torso that she could feel every noise or breath he produced.
Her eyes closed and the intensity of her breaths increased, she held James' forearm, squeezing it tightly as she had nothing else to hold on to. The pleasure reached a hilt and she came with furrowed brows and another loud moan. James sucked hard at her pulse point, leaving a small purple mark.
Her body went limp momentarily before James scooped her up into his arms and pushed her against the tiled wall again. Her legs went round his waist so their hips were in line and he could slide into her with such ease. They rested their foreheads against one another, breathing in each other's air, not kissing, but they weren't far from it.
James began to move slowly, gripping tightly at her hips, pinning her in place. "Fuck me," he breathed, speeding up. His head fell into El's neck, breathing against her collarbone.
El pulled his hair, moaning into James' ear, then dug her nails into his back, leaving small crescent shapes in his skin. He sped up even more, impressively keeping this up without showing any sign of tiredness—El had never been so grateful for James' quidditch training.
He placed her back down, turned her round so she was facing the wall, holding her hips and bending her over from behind. Pressing a kiss between her shoulder blades, he slid back into her again. El's arms straightened out in front of her, holding her up against the wall as James continued to pound into her. He picked up one of her legs, holding it at an angle so he could reach a deeper spot—one he somehow managed to reach every time.
"Fucking hell, James," she moaned, weight shifting from to wall to lean back against him. He kissed her neck, holding her at an angle so all his moans could be heard near her ear.
The hand that wasn't holding El upright delved down to her clit, rubbing it lightly. It was that that caused her body to shake and her second orgasm to wash over her. She shook and spasmed in James' hold as he continued at his merciless pace until he groaned and stilled, thrusting himself as deep as he could possibly reach. He peppered a few more kisses on El's shoulders, then pulled out of her gently, watching the white liquid drip down her leg, then get washed down the drain. El's body leant lifelessly against James', her eyes closed as the hot water almost lulled her to sleep.
"Marry me," James said quietly.
Any background noises suddenly faded to nothing as the bathroom went silent. El turned the water off and faced him.
"What?"
"Marry me," he repeated.
"James i—" she stepped out the shower and began to dry herself.
"I know you don't like relationships and everything, but we could die next week and if i die i want you to be my wife," he rambled as he pulled his clothes back on.
"Okay."
He hadn't heard her, so continued with his ramblings "—we don't have to rush into anything with kids or whatever, we don't even need to have them if you don't want but—"
"James—"
"—if you think you wouldn't make a good mum, you totally would, and i've basically mothered Sirius for the last eight years—"
"James!" El pulled a hoodie over her head as she attempted to speak again.
"Yes?"
"Shut the fuck up."
He closed his mouth, "is that a yes or no?" he took a few steps towards her again.
"Have you got a ring?"
"No, but i'll buy you one. I'll buy you ten. What do you want? Diamonds? Rubies?"
"Emeralds?" she suggested with a smirk.
James leaped forward, taking her face in his hands and kissing her firmly. "I'll buy you so many fucking emeralds." He kissed her again, passionately, with as much love as James could possibly convey through one kiss. "So you'll marry me?"
"Yeah."
James picked her up and spun her round a few times, then threw her over his shoulder and charged out the room. "FUCKING WAKE UP ALL OF YOU, I'M ENGAGED!"
***
a/n: word count 3.2k
a cute chapter to make up for the fact i went M.I.A for the last month