"Appa..." Ye Jin smiled tightly. "It's me."
"Have you been well?"
"I hope your answer is yes...it would surely take a load off my shoulders."
Silence punctuated the columbarium that housed the various lives of the deceased and the beautiful tears and stories of their relatives. It wasn't often that Ye Jin would take time off work to visit her father, but she has been wanting to release the stress she has been holding in for a while now.
These days, Ye Jin feels as though she has been walking on a tightrope. One slip of her feet would surely lead to her demise in the bubbling fire of despair waiting to engulf her.
At least with Hyun Bin around, she would have been able to confide in him. But now that he was miles away from home, her usual support system was in shambles.
As much as they were certain that they would get through this together, it was difficult to offer that same emotional support to one another when they were forced apart. Crying over the phone would only hurt her husband more than it should and it would hurt her too.
Helplessness was often an emotion they had to deal with growing as a couple and as a family, but that feeling was even more prominent now that they were apart.
"Things have changed again, appa. You used to say that change is good and that we ought to embrace the growth that comes with it, but why am I so scared?
"Hyun Bin's away, the children are growing, Jeong Eun-" Ye Jin paused as she tried to compose herself.
"He's starting to question everything. I know we can't keep the truth from our little man for long..."
"You'd probably ask me to talk to Bin ssi about this, won't you?" Ye Jin chuckled bitterly to herself. "I wish I could bring myself to do so. He's been stressed out too, appa. I can't, with good conscience, burden him more. Not when he's still dealing with his secretary."
Ye Jin paused once again, just as a gentle breeze drifted in through the tiny gap of the window. With a start, Ye Jin realised that her cheeks were wet. So deep in her worries was she, that she hadn't noticed how her petite frame had been shuddering as she spoke to her father. She hadn't noticed how her voice had trembled like a dying leaf against the wind in autumn nor how each tear was slipping down her face like a chain of glistening pearls.
It had been a while since Ye Jin last cried like this.
"I don't know, appa. I'm feeling a little lost. But I'll be okay...We will figure this out somehow." Ye Jin breathed. "If you can, please give us more time. I don't want to break our precious little boy's heart so soon."
Bravely, Ye Jin wiped her tears away, allowing her sorrow to linger on the back of her hands and her drying cheeks. With that, she smiled, taking a bow in front of her father's urn before she left to fetch the children.
❀❀❀
At the kindergarten
"This is fun!" Jeong Eun grinned whilst kicking hard from the ground, bringing the see-saw past its tipping point once again.
Sandwiched between the seat and Jeong Eun was Tae Rin who was laughing hard as they bounced up and down together. On the other end was Geonu and Eun Ae, who were equally elated over the kindergarten playground's prime hotspot.
From the car, Ye Jin smiled when she saw the children, observing them from a distance until one of them spotted her. At that moment, all her worries melted away to welcome the warm fuzziness that could only ever come from her love for the children and their innocence.
"Oppa! Eomma's here!" Eun Ae informed the little group.
"Eomma?" Jeong Eun looked up. "Tae Rin-ah, I have to go! See you tomorrow!"
"Annyeong, Jeong Eun Oppa!" Tae Rin waved adorably from the see-saw.
Minutes later, the car door slammed shut. As with all days, the children's enthusiastic chatter engulfed the space of the car with stories of their day with their friends, amongst random musings and childlike discoveries.
"Eomma, Tae Rin's having a birthday party next week! I'm invited!" Eun Ae exclaimed.
"I received an invitation too." Jeong Eun shrugged casually, trying to hide the blush forming on his cheeks.
"Omo, how nice of her! We should get her a nice present before her party." Ye Jin suggested lightly.
"I want to get Tae Rin the most beautiful present ever." Jeong Eun spoke shyly albeit with a little more confidence.
"I know you'll pick the perfect present for her, monkey. Eun Ae and you can get a new outfit for the party too. I'm sure Ki Rai would love a new princess dress too." Ye Jin beamed.
"Ne!" The children chorused together.
Shaking her head fondly at their precious babies, Ye Jin effortlessly pulled up in the parking space of the Hyun Family House.
"Eomma, is Jackson coming over today?" Jeong Eun asked.
"Mmm, Jackson should be here in an hour. I trust that you would both take good care of him and Ki Rai?" Ye Jin smiled with her eyes.
"We will, eomma! Jackson is tiny just like dongsaeng! We will protect him!" Eun Ae promised easily.
"Shall we?" Ye Jin tilted her head towards their home, her eyes glistening with pride for their children.
Nothing else needed to be said as the beautiful family entered their homely abode. Big smiles adorned the childrens' faces as they turned to wave their mother over with their backpacks swinging gently side by side. In response, Ye Jin laughed, walking up the steps to take ahold of their children's hands.
The only thing that could bring more joy to their faces was if Hyun Bin was with them. But alas, they could only wait patiently for his return.
As Ye Jin was fond of saying, they ought to take it one day at a time and look forward to their future together.
"Eomma's back, baby." Ye Jin snuggled Ki Rai's chubby cheeks close to hers. "Jackson's coming! Are you excited?"
"Yay Jackson!" Ki Rai clapped soundlessly. "Ki Rai have fun!"
"That's right, sweetie. You're going to have so much fun with Jackson."
And indeed, they were in for an afternoon of fun.
❀❀❀
An hour later
"Ki Rai!" Jackson ran over to their little one with his arms open wide, prompting their littlest princess to peek around her mother's legs.
Smiling from ear to ear, Ki Rai toddled over to her newest friend, welcoming Jackson with a big hug of her own.
After exchanging greetings with Natalie, Ye Jin took the children back indoors where their eldest two took the lead in entertaining the little ones.
For the most part, Ye Jin took her work to the common area where she could look over some documents while keeping an eye on the children. As always, with Jeong Eun around, their children were angels and Ye Jin didn't have much to worry about.
Shortly before the tea break, Ye Jin left to help Mdm Ji Hyun with the finger sandwiches. Unbeknownst to her, Ki Rai and Jackson decided to follow her to the kitchen, for they had a special request to make.
A small tug at the hem of her apron had Ye Jin looking down at the little ones who were both looking up at her with wide, innocent eyes. The mother within her knew that they wanted something, for she recognised the hopeful glint in their eyes.
"What is it, sweethearts?" Ye Jin squatted to their height level.
"Imo, can we go to the playground?" Jackson whispered shyly.
"The playground?" Ye Jin tilted her head to the side.
"Ne. Ki Rai and I want to play on the swings!"
"That sounds like a lovely idea! Shall we ask Jeong Eun and Eun Ae if they would like to go too?"
"Ne!"
Just like that, they were all set for a trip to the playground.
Minutes later, Ki Rai and Jackson clambered into the backseat of the car to wait for the rest of the family. As before, the little ones were in their own world as they giggled and played with their water bottles.
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"You drink this, I drink this!" Ki Rai handed Jackson's bottle to him.
"I can't open it," Jackson commented.
"I can't open too..." Ki Rai observed.
"Ottoke?" Their littlest princess pouted adorably before she bucked against the seat, attempting to use her body weight to open her bottle.
Mimicking Ki Rai, Jackson laughed abruptly when neither of them could open their bottles. The more they struggled, the more they found their situation funny. Soon, they were leaning into each other, with Ki Rai falling onto her side laughing.
That was the sight that greeted Ye Jin when she came down to the car with their eldest two.
"What's got you two laughing so hard?" The mother mused.
"Bottle!" Ki Rai shook her unopened bottle playfully.
Amused yet slightly confused by her child's humour, Ye Jin simply laughed and strapped the little ones into the baby seats before they took off towards the playground.
The playground, with its myriad of blues, reds and yellows, housed a wholesome hue of childhood memories.
There, Ye Jin spent some time pushing Ki Rai and Jackson on the swings before Eun Ae ran over to them.
"Look at what I found!" Eun Ae held up a beetle that was crawling harmlessly on her open palms.
Captivated by her new critter friend, Eun Ae's face was glowing as she let her brother pet her beetle. Unfortunately, Ki Rai didn't share the same sentiments as her siblings, for her face twisted up in disgust when she saw the insect.
"I'll protect you!" Jackson stood protectively in front of Ki Rai.
"Mr Rogers isn't scary!" Eun Ae rebutted. "Ki Rai, don't be scared! Mr Rogers won't bite you."
Back and forth, the children went, debating over Mr Rogers the beetle before Eun Ae started chasing Jackson and Ki Rai around the playground.
"Watch your steps, children!" Ye Jin shouted.
"I'll take care of them, eomma!" Jeong Eun offered helpfully.
After hugging Ye Jin quickly, Jeong Eun ran off after his siblings, determined to intervene so that they could play together again.
Finally, Ye Jin could rest.
And during her time of rest, thoughts filled her, engulfing her in deep contemplation. There were good thoughts, but there were also bad thoughts. But either way, she was lost in contemplation, for there was much she had to think about as change made its way back into their lives.
The biggest change had to be their new living arrangement.
But after weeks of adjustment and good faith, Ye Jin genuinely felt that their family was growing accustomed to the new change. After all, it wasn't for forever. Hyun Bin would always come home to them – Ye Jin had no doubts about that.
LDR wasn't easy, but if any couple could survive such a trying time, it would surely be them.
Likewise, the children miss their father every single day. But if any family could conquer such an arduous climb, it would surely be them.
Unlike that morning, the tiny voice in her head dissuading her from placing her boundless faith in her husband was no longer there. In its place was a new resolution to trust Hyun Bin – to trust him to deliver his promise till the end.
Ye Jin's stronghold had simply been shaken temporarily. Now, it is stronger than ever.
She was strong enough to get through this.
Yet, every time she would look towards Jeong Eun, she could feel her resolve crumble ever so slightly.
Currently, their little man was simply running around the playground, all smiles and laughter as he took special care to entertain and watch over the younger ones.
Such carefreeness was common in their lives, but to the mother who was recently burdened by the truth behind Jeong Eun's birth, the heaviness in her heart only grew more poignant with each passing second.
They were running out of time.
Ye Jin knew that when the truth had begun to surface bit by bit in their daily lives, it meant that the threat of a meltdown was fast looming over their home.
It was only a matter of time. Yet, Ye Jin was dreading it.
Selfishly, Ye Jin sometimes wondered if they must tell him the truth.
The reality was this: In protecting Jeong Eun from the truth, they were hurting him too.
He deserved to know the truth, but there was no turning back once the truth was let out of the bag.
Out of everyone, Ye Jin knew what that was like the most.
Jeong Eun would begin to question his very existence despite the loving home he grew up in, for a child once abandoned would always feel out of place.
How would they break it to him? Where should they even begin? Would the love that they have been giving him be enough for him to accept and move on from the truth?
Most importantly, would Jeong Eun still want to be their little man?
Ye Jin has always been grateful for many things. Jeong Eun's arrival into their lives was one of life's greatest blessings to her – one that she would forever remain grateful for.
She was sure it was the same for her husband.
Truly, she doesn't even want to think about the possibility of them losing their precious son – adopted or not – to such an unforgiving world.
At the end of the day, they could only hope.
The only question Ye Jin had to answer was this:
Is Jeong Eun ready for the truth?
❀❀❀
A/N
Hello lovelies!
First off, my deepest apologies for leaving TAOF hanging for so long...It was far from intentional and life has simply been a little too happening for writing in general. I do hope this update would tide you through this TAOF drought period for now and again, I'm very sorry for my lack of updates. To all who has been waiting, thank you so much for your patience. I will do my best to finish this fic and I continue to ask for your boundless patience!
On a side note, I hope that everyone has been safe and well. There is much happening in the world right now but as Ye Jin said, we ought to take it one step at a time. Don't lose courage and press on!
Love,
Claire