CHAPTER NINETEEN
❝ reaping the consequences ❞
LUCY KNEW ALL about loss. From a young age, she learned that nobody was ever going to be in her life forever. She barely remembered her own mother's death, but it taught her that losing someone important can do horrible things to a person.
After that, she was closed off. She found it easier to go through her journey alone than to have someone in her life that she loved too much to lose.
But then Bucky came into her life, and suddenly, nothing else mattered.
When Bucky and Steve both died in the span of a few days, Lucy had so much grief looming over her head that it was hard to get out of bed in the morning. She had all of this misplaced love in her heart, but nowhere to put it.
And yet despite how much Lucy had lost in her life, never had she reacted like John Walker.
She, Bucky, and Sam chased after Walker when he tried to flee the scene, following him into some abandoned warehouse. They were cautious in their steps, unsure if he would try and get violent with them as well.
The blonde man was hunched over on the floor, one hand covering his face while the other tightly gripped the shield. Droplets of crimson red surrounded him and the shield was covered in blood, still dripping with the shame of his actions.
Walker heard their approaching footsteps and finally lifted his head. He straightened up and began calmly walking towards the trio, devoiding his face of any emotion.
Sam was the first to murmur, "Walker."
"You guys should see a medic, you don't look so good—"
"Stop, Walker."
Walker pulled in a sharp breath through his nose and halted in his steps, turning to them with a hard glare. "What? You saw what happened. You know what I had to do." He ran a hand over his face and Lucy could tell that he was trying to hold back his hysterics. "I killed him because I had to! He killed Lemar!"
Bucky clenched his jaw and shook his head. "He didn't kill Lemar, John. Don't go down that road. Believe me, it doesn't end well."
"I'm not like you," Walker spat back. "I don't forgive that easily. Not like how you forgave yourself for killing her." He pointed at Lucy.
Bucky's shoulders went stiff but Lucy cut in before he could say anything, "No, you don't get to do that. Stop acting like you know us better than we do, and stop trying to reposition the blame. What you did was wrong and you have to face it now."
Sam intercepted with a hand out before Walker could completely lose it. "Listen, it was in the heat of the battle. Okay? If you explain what happened, they may consider your record. We don't want anyone else to get hurt."
Walker said nothing and the tension grew to a point that was nearly suffocating. He was at battle with his own mind.
"John... You gotta give me the shield man."
At Sam's words, a sick smile overcame Walker's face. "Oh," he breathed, shaking his head. "So that's what this is... You almost got me."
Sam closed his eyes in exasperation. "You made a mistake."
Holding his ground, Walker clenched his jaw. "You don't wanna do this."
"Yeah, we do," Bucky insisted, his voice dangerously low.
Bucky dove for him first, sinking his vibranium fist right into the shield that Walker held up. Sam powered up his wings and Lucy grabbed batons from her belt, splaying them out beside herself. As he harshly shoved Bucky back with the shield, Walker twisted and sent a foot straight into Sam's ribs, knocking him to the ground.
Lucy caught the shield before it could hit her, gritting her teeth as she tried pushing Walker back. His force was terrifyingly strong, reminding her that they were now fighting a super-soldier.
A super-soldier who wouldn't hesitate to kill any of them.
Bucky jumped back to his feet and grabbed Walker by the neck, yanking him away from Lucy. The man pulled himself out of Bucky's hold with a hiss, but the interruption only spurred him on further. His actions became frantic as he attacked Bucky, swinging his fists until he finally hit the brunette hard enough to send him to the ground.
Raising his shield, Walker was about to send it straight into Bucky's chest before Lucy came and tackled him away. The two of them fell to the ground in a heap and Walker immediately fought back. Lucy just barely rolled away from his hit, leaving a crack in the ground where his fist intended to meet her head.
Sam jumped back into the fight and kicked Walker out of the way, blocking the shield that was coming his way with his wings. Bucky followed, viciously swinging his vibranium arm at him. Walker turned and kicked Sam to the ground before refocusing on Bucky, shoving the shield into his chest with a loud grunt. "Why are you making me do this?!"
Lucy scrambled to her feet to get Walker off of him, but it was too late. A sudden burst of strength hit Walker and he hurled Bucky across the room with a hoarse yell, sending him flying into a large piece of machinery.
Sparks exploded with the contact and the electricity from the machine zapped through Bucky, knocking him unconscious just as his body hit the ground.
"Buck!"
Lucy turned to Sam and he gave her a frantic nod, signaling that he could handle Walker for the time being.
Her legs felt like jelly as she rushed over to Bucky, skidding to her knees when she finally reached his limp body. Bucky told Lucy all about the electric chair they would stick him in, wiping his memories with each shock administered. The fear that this shock would have the same effects created a lump in her throat as she laid her hands on his cheeks.
"Bucky," Lucy pleaded, cradling his face in her hands. His eyes stayed shut, and he almost looked peaceful; a complete contrast to the sheer panic that she was experiencing.
She shook him harder, yet still failed to pull him back to consciousness. "Come on... Come on, wake up."
A loud yell came from the other side of the room and Lucy whipped around, watching as Sam fell to the ground, his movements concerningly sluggish. Walker was stalking toward him, and by the looks of it, Sam was too disoriented to fight back.
Lucy's eyes flickered back to Bucky's unconscious form and she reluctantly pulled herself away from him.
Just before Walker could lay a hand on Sam, Lucy crossed the room and tackled him to the ground. Walker yelled and rolled her underneath him, effectively pinning her to the concrete floor
Lucy tried to pull herself out from underneath him, but he was too strong. She raised her free arm and backhanded him, but he didn't even budge.
All it did was make it angrier. He snarled at her and wrapped his hands around her neck, straddling her so that she couldn't possibly overpower him.
Lucy's own hands instinctively shot up to his wrists. She pulled with all of her might in hopes that he would let up but it only prompted him to tighten his grip, cutting off her oxygen flow. A pained noise came from the back of Lucy's throat and she did her best to try and kick him off of her, but he stayed as still as a statue. "John—"
Somehow, his fingers tightened even more, and dark spots began appearing around the corners of her vision. He leaned down, his face hovering right over hers as a twisted smile grew on his lips. "You're not a hero, and neither is your husband." A dark chuckle escaped him. "You know, neither of you should be here right now. He should be in jail for all he did and you should be fucking dead—"
Neither of them noticed that Bucky had since regained consciousness, rolling over to see Walker straddling Lucy with his hands around her neck. He scrambled to his feet and rage washed over him as he tackled Walker off of her with a guttural yell.
Lucy couldn't even pay attention to the fact that Bucky was now pinning Walker to the ground, mercilessly cracking his fist into him over and over again. As soon as his hands were off of her neck, she was gasping for air, craning her head to the side as desperate coughs escaped her.
The pain in her neck and that feeling of all the air finally rushing in felt so... familiar.
And before she could pull herself up, everything went dark.
"Lucy?"
Lucy heard the change of tone in his voice as he exhaled her name. It was an epiphany, no confusion present as he identified her.
"Bucky." Lucy smiled up at him.
"Lucy," Bucky repeated. His grip on her throat was gone in an instant as he drew his hand back. He was visibly trembling as he hovered over her, glossiness coating his beautiful blue eyes as he remembered. "Oh my god."
Tears were rolling down both of Lucy's cheeks. "Are you with me?"
One hand, the metal one, wrapped around her torso, the other resting on the back of her head as he pulled her body to his. His breathing was ragged as he held her, matching the shake in his figure.
Lucy's arms snaked around him tightly as she released a sob. She was too afraid to close her eyes and soak in the moment, terrified that this was all just some twisted dream.
Bucky still had one arm holding her up as he pulled back and cupped her cheek, staring at her like she was the single most important thing in the world. "Lucy."
"Lucy!"
Lucy blinked. Suddenly a different version of Bucky was hovering over her. His hands were cradling her face and his expression was more distressed than she had ever seen before. Blood was dripping down from his face and onto the floor beside her, but all he seemed to care about was her. "Sweetheart, look at me. Can you say something for me?"
The confusion was clouding her mind so badly that she didn't know what was real or not.
So before she could even stop herself, she let the confusion get the best of her. "How— How are you here?"
Bucky's face visibly paled. He remembered those exact words from the worst night of his life. "Lucy."
Lucy opened her mouth to speak again, but an agonized groan came through her lips instead when a sharp pain radiated from her chest. Bucky flinched, pulling away from her with panic-stricken eyes. "What? What hurts?"
Her hand came up to feel her chest, tracing the source of the hot pain. But when she felt her skin, it was perfectly unscathed.
She began fading out of consciousness once more. Not even Bucky yelling her name could pull her back.
Bucky had long hair again. "No," he breathed. He lowered her body to the ground, shaking his head as he pressed both hands against her wound. "No, no, no. Fuck. What did I do?"
He looked at her, desperation evident in his eyes as tears streamed down his cheeks. Lucy groaned as he increased the pressure on her chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding. "It was the agent I was taking down before you. You didn't have a gun... Not your fault."
"H-hang on. Stay with me, honey."
Bucky's pleading was the last thing Lucy heard before she lost consciousness altogether.
───
Bucky was a trained ex-assassin. He had been to hell and back, so it took a lot to shake him. Everyone was supposed to be scared of him.
Still, the girl in his arms would never fail to keep him on his toes.
He had to carry her unconscious body from warehouse to warehouse until Torres had finally lined up a plane for them and Sam. The words that she had spoken ran through his head over and over again.
How are you here?
How did she have a flashback to an event that didn't truly happen?
Laid out on the small couch of the plane, Lucy was tucked into Bucky's chest. Her eyes were clamped shut and sweat coated her forehead. Even in her unconscious state, she was mumbling something under her breath.
Bucky kept pushing her hair back with soft fingers, staring down at her with a worried crease between his eyebrows. He kept trying to wake her up but she never stirred. The anxiety in his gut increased with each passing moment.
Sam took his eyes off the stained shield at his side and shifted his gaze to the couple across the plane. He sighed and cleared his throat to catch Bucky's attention. "How is she?"
"How does she look, Sam?" Bucky grumbled. He took a moment to lean his head back and breathe deeply through his nose before softly saying, "She had some sort of flashback. Back to the memory of when I tried to kill her. But Steve and I stopped that from happening so... I'm just confused."
Standing, Sam crossed the plane and disappeared into the cockpit for a moment. He returned with a small bag of ice, extending it to Bucky. "Here. Make sure you keep this on her neck."
"Thanks." Bucky took the bag from Sam and tilted Lucy's head back gently. He caught a view of the deep purple already bruising her neck and bit back a grimace, pressing the ice to her neck in hopes it could soothe the inevitable pain she would be experiencing once she woke up.
If she woke up, Bucky reminded himself. He felt sick.
"Listen, man," Sam breathed as he sank back into his seat. "No one could have predicted that pulling her to the future like that could have any side effects. If it was anything to worry about, I'm sure that Tony, Bruce, or even Stephen would have warned you."
Bucky slowly nodded, although he was less than convinced. "She asked me what I was doing there." At Sam's confused expression, he had to force himself to elaborate, "Those were the same words she said to me back in the 50s. When I was still the Winter Soldier."
Sam was silent for a moment. Carefully, he tipped his head down and said, "Walker choked her. In some twisted way, it makes sense. She is going to be fine, okay?"
The gentle buzz of the plane's engine was the only sound between them as Bucky held his breath. "...How do you know?"
"Because this is the part where you have no choice but to keep hope. Do it for yourself, and do it for her."
And for once in his life, Bucky did just that.
───
Lucy woke up clutching unfamiliar sheets.
She shot up and a wave of dizziness followed, causing her to grab her head with a grimace on her face. Her eyes flitted around the room, but her panic slightly eased when she saw Bucky's jacket lying on the chair at the side of the room.
The racing of her heartbeat calmed down and she let herself fall back onto the soft mattress. But it wasn't until she opened her mouth to call for Bucky that Lucy realized her throat was on fire.
His name faded into a series of coughs, and Lucy's hand instinctively shot up to her neck. She winced at the pain. That's when the events of what Walker had done began coming back to her.
But before she could further react, a loud clang came from the other side of the house and booming footsteps followed. They sounded like they were getting closer and closer until suddenly, the door swung open and a frantic Bucky appeared on the other side.
Reacting to her coughing, Bucky quickly crossed the room and grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand, sliding onto the bed right by her side. "Here, here. Drink."
Lucy accepted the water that was placed at her lips and greedily swallowed it down. Her eyes slipped shut at the momentary relief of the cold feeling on her throat, but they opened again as soon as the cup was pulled away from her and she felt a gentle hand on her cheek.
"You're okay," Bucky affirmed, stroking his thumb over her skin. "Maybe just take it easy with the talking for right now, okay? Hang on, I'll get more ice—"
Lucy grabbed his wrist before he could pull away from her. "How long was I asleep?" Her voice was quiet, but Bucky still flinched at the rasp that coated her words.
"Sixteen hours," Bucky answered her, just as quietly. He sounded tired.
"Oh," Lucy let out. She gingerly touched her throat once more and frowned.
Bucky pushed the hair out of her face and sighed. "How do you feel?"
Lucy thought back to what happened and she remembered the flashback with wide eyes. "Oh god, Buck. I'm so sorry."
"What could you possibly be saying sorry for?" Bucky lightheartedly joked.
"I must have freaked you out," she elaborated. "I... I don't know what happened. I don't know why I was so confused—"
"Hey," Bucky softly stopped her. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, keeping his hand on her cheek. "It's okay. I talked to Tony and he said it was just a side effect. Everything is going to be fine. You're still gonna get checked out by a doctor just to be sure, but we're okay."
Lucy accepted his words with the smallest nod of her head. "Okay... Walker?"
Bucky's expression darkened at the mention of the man. "He's on trial right now. The only reason I didn't kill him at the warehouse was to make sure he would finally get to face the consequences of his actions."
"What about Sam?"
"He's back with his family," Bucky revealed. "We're gonna go see him once you're cleared. I already took care of Zemo and asked for a little favor from the Wakandans when handing him over."
Surprise marred Lucy's expression at his words. "So you handed Zemo over, alive, and you're asking the Wakandans favor. For Sam." A cute grin overcame her face. "Who are you and where's my grumpy Bucky?"
A chuckle escaped Bucky and a smile pulled at his lips. "I can be nice. Sometimes."
"You're always nice to me."
"That's because I love you, Lucy."
Lucy kissed Bucky's cheek and she laid back down, motioning for Bucky to follow. He hesitated for a moment but eventually followed her lead. She pulled him into her arms and ran a loving hand through his hair. "Sleep, Buck."
Bucky melted into her hold, gently sliding his arm around her waist. It was silent for a moment before he finally murmured, "I'm so tired, Luce."
"I know," Lucy tenderly responded. "We'll be able to rest soon. Just like that life we always talked about. I promise."
And with that, Bucky fell asleep, holding her promise close to his heart.
AUTHOR'S NOTE!
oh boy, a lot just happened.
lucy had some scary flashbacks, but she's okay now.
bucky is so tired of the constant cycle of there being something threatening to take away his peace.
only a few more chapters, though. *crying*
they've come a long way and they really do deserve a happy ending, don't they?
anyways, i'm sorry for missing a week of updating!
i was so damn busy with classes but i have a little break to work on some writing, i promise.
i hope you all enjoyed!
<3 mal