"Dead"
He repeated, this time facing me directly.
I didn't know what to say, I wanted to apologize for his lose but I wasn't sure I should, I don't want him to feel like I'm sorry for him.... I mean I am but let's not make this weirder than it already is.
I rest my hands on his knees and give it a light squeeze.
"I killed him"
He said in a tone low enough for me to hear, his face was void of emotions but by the way he clenched his fist I could tell that he was trying to keep it together.
My hand froze, I couldn't remove it from where it was rested on his knee, It was almost like all the blood was drained from my face.
Damn...I've always known that this dude was creepy, fuck! the whole pack is creepy. Is he some kind of psycho mate killer?
Okay calm down Raven let's not jump into conclusions, there's definitely a logical explanation...right?
I tried to remain calm, I diverted my gaze so he doesn't read the scared expression that fought it's way to my face, now that I think about it, I think that I was just too scared to remove my hands.
"I don't expect you to understand me, but I'm asking you to please not judge me. look Raven things aren't as easy as they seem. Phoenix pack does things I'm not proud of to remain at the top, some day I hope to be able to explain things to you"
I don't fucking want to understand! if it involves me killing my mate, which I'm not sure I've found yet, I have no interest in learning their customs.
Mehn I need to get out of here...
"Please don't look at me like that..." this time his voice wasn't has firm as before, his head was hung low. He placed his hands untop of mine, sending cold spikes up my spine.
"it's okay...I don't know what lead to the whole mate slaughter, but I'm sure it wasn't easy for you either" My mouth said but my thoughts were all over the place
At least you're not the one that's dead
He smiles at me squeezing my hands tightly, and I forced a weak smile back.
Poor guy I don't even know how he's still alive after KILLING HIS MATE!
I actually don't much about this guy, yes I've been training with him for the past four years but we usually don't converse outside the training arena.
"are you okay? " I asked and he nodded in response
We spent the next five minutes in silence, occasionally sneaking glances at each other, for clearly different reasons. I have finally been able to retrieve my hands.
"Growing up I saw my gift as a curse" he stated out of the blue and I rolled my eyes,
tell me about it.
"Other wolves could fly, turn things into...things all I could do was break bonds, mate bond to be exact" He finished staring directly at me as if waiting for a reaction.
And he got one.
Wow slow down...
"wait, all these time I thought your gift was to inflict pain? " I stood up, a little bit too fast because I could see the hurt expression on his face.
He nodded
"Once the bond is broken the werewolf feels unimaginable pain, not much people know this, truthfully only Drulock knew" He took a deep breath "and now you"
He has such soft features, his face was mostly void of expression but a lot could be read from his brown eyes.
That must be why he survived this long without his mate, he probably broke the bond.
He chuckles awkwardly "It isn't that bad, I can also create false mate bonds, if that counts...i don't even know why I'm even telling you all this" He buries his head between his hands. I wish I could say something, anything to make him feel better.
"it's... Okay" I said, mentally face palming myself.
The members of this pack are messed up no doubt, I see why I was sent here to train with them, I myself am quite messed up. Alpha Drulock can conjure flames anywhere he wants, I have only seen him use it once on a rouge and it wasn't pretty, He rouge burnt out from inside because Drulock conjured a flame in his lungs, His bi polar mate Venira animates wolfsbane, turning them into animals of her choice, now I just found out that his Beta breaks and create mate bonds, which I didn't think was possible.
If he continues pulling on his hair he's going to hurt himself. I walk to him then pulls him up for a tight embrace. This always made me feel better.
If Cuthbert had known bringing me in here would have lead to a series of awkward conversations he'd have disobeyed Drulock and leave me there to die.
"you remind me so much of him" He spoke, head buried in my neck.
Okayyyyy... "you're not going to kill me are you?" I blurted out and he chuckled.
He thinks I'm joking.
After that we went for a relaxing walk in the garden behind the pack house, we spoke about a number of things, I think it's about time I became familiar with their pack customs, I mean I've been here for four years and has never one day asked how does Alpha Drulock change his mate everytime they die seeing as they are not immortal like him.
"His mate bond with Venira is real, unlike the bonds I create, if that's what you're wondering" he giggled as we walked beside the bed of wild roses. His hands were tucked in his pockets and he occasionally stopped to kick little stones, it's hard to believe such a free spirited guy killed his mate.
Yes, I haven't gotten over that yet.
"Somethings only Drulocks thousand year old mind can understand" He added.
"Does he have any intention of mating with Venira though" it's none of my business but I figured that if anyone should know it would be Cuthbert.
"We hope" He said, looking up at the sky "It would be fruitless even though they end up mating. Drulock doesn't want to create an heir, what's the need, he's going to be alpha for thousands of years to come anyways"
He paused "we are here" He started taking off his shoes and wiggling his toes between the grasses.
I didn't realize we have come this far back, from a simple walk in the garden now we are miles away from the pack house...i think.
This place...it looks familiar.
I have seen these flowers before.
I kneel down to inhale the fragrance of the flowers, and for some weird reason they smell like sweat and after shave,
They smell like...Dominic
"Where is this place?" I questioned, looking back at Cuthbert, his eyes were closed and his hands were spread apart like he was trying to take in the entirety of the garden.
"it's called the field of the mates"
"the field of the mates..." I echoed in awe and he nodded
"Werewolves come here when they are of age and the field gives them visions of their mates. Visions are mostly in riddles but who ever appears in the visions usually turns out to be your mate" He stated, finding a clear spot to seat down
"I see..." I said, mimicking him and taking off my shoes as well.
"they say you haven't found your mate yet? "
I didn't know what to say, it was more like he was stating the obvious than a question "I am hoping that the garden helps with its visions"
I have had visions of this place even before I got here, visions of Dominic and I.
"you're absolutely certain the garden only shows you your mate " I asked, why would It show me Yuri's mate?
Cuthbert nodded
"why, Are you seeing anyone in particular? " he asked punching my shoulder playfully. I paused before shaking my head.
He'd think it's weird if I tell him that I'm seeing my best friend, not because he's a guy but because he's already mated to another.
"Good" he said looking forward. I don't understand what he meant by that but I just let it go.
We sat there for some time. I watched as Cuthbert shifted on the grass until he laid down completely.
"Cuthbert, are you still awake?" He has been quite for sometime now.
"What is it? " He replied
"Is it possible to be mated to someone who is already mated?"
He seem to have taken an interest in my question because he sat back up
"never mind, forget I said anything. Go back to sleep" I said dismissively, trying to push him back down then he chuckles, taking a hold of my hands.
"well...not naturally " He said
"A werewolf only has one mate, sure they sleep around and engage in threesome and orgies but the fact remains it's one wolf one mate" He said "though, Witches used to toy with the mating bond in the 19th century before the great war that removed vampires from the top of the hierarchy. If the ritual is done properly the real mating bond is hidden even before it has been discovered and reassigned to a new wolf. But it requires a sacrifice... One of two different mates who have completed the mating ceremony must be killed, driving the mate left alive into a state of insanity, The ritual was bound for a reason" He finished shaking his head as if trying to dismiss the thought.
It's like everything one of my question that is answered births two new ones. I am glad witches no longer partake in said ritual because this is honestly the cruelest fate that can befall any werewolf.
"Come on, it's almost time for training" Cuthbert stood, stretching out his hand to help me up which I accept with a thankful smile.
I was afraid If I moved my head too much it's content would pour out, I have learnt so much about Phoenix and it's members it felt like my head would explode.
"We should do this some other time, there's something about you that makes me feel good inside " Cuthbert threw his hands over my shoulders, grinning childishly.
"Yeah...i am amazon company"
I said and he chuckled I couldn't deny that I had a very eventful time with him, from one Beta to another.