(A/N: Haven't proofread this yet and idek who will read this (if anyone) so I'll just post the first chap ... also prepare for cringe in the future)
Whether she pretended or not, she doesn't see what's to change. Life wasn't fair and neither was the choices fate has presented upon Y/N. Why the hell would her dreams be filled with the same five people every time? It was pure nonsense, what was she now? A pervert? To be dreaming of them made her feel... uncertain? How was she to explain these feelings that were stirring inside her? Yes, she admired the group of friends but had never thought she would even step close enough to them to even say a "Hello".
Each morning at the break of dawn she would wake up, thinking the same thing: What the hell am I going to do?
Y/N doesn't know how to manipulate her dreams into something else other than them. Life really wanted to toy with her, play with her dreams and emotions. Each dream felt so real but when she wakes up it all turns into a puff of smoke like nothing had happened. When was the day when she would finally stir up enough courage to greet them even once?
This time Y/N woke up with a frustrated huff. "UGHH!" She ruffled her hair in frustration.
"What the hell am I going to do, I swear the god I'm going to kill myself with those cute ass smiles!" Y/N groaned, burying her face into her blankets. The dream from last night was still fresh in her mind. The smiles, laughs, and especially the beauty... it was too much, Y/N might as well become crazy at this point.
"Get yourself together, couch potato!" Y/N scolded herself before climbing out of her bed and heading into the bathroom.
After washing herself she changed into her school uniform and headed out with a piece of toast in her mouth and a banana milk in hand.
Y/N threw her stuff into the passengers' seat and seated herself in the drivers' seat.
"School... this sucks." Y/N sighs as she drives off to her highschool.
Y/N parks her car in the parking lot and walks out, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. 'Another boring day of looking at them from far away.' She sighs before heading into the grand campus.
"Yo! YN/N!" Y/N groaned at the nickname, turning around to see her friend waving at her.
"What the hell did I tell you about calling me that, Moonbin."
"Hehe," Moonbin laughed cheekily as he swung his arm around Y/N's shoulders.
"Don't "hehe" me." Y/N glared at the playful Moonbin. "I swear to god one day I'll rip your tongue out." She murmured.
"Hey now, why are you so aggressive? It's a cute nickname! You used to like it!" Moonbin argued. "And you won't get anyone if you're that aggressive! Don't even think about the 5 goddesses that you had always dreamed about!"
Y/N clicked her tongue. "First of all, the key word was used, past tense, I don't like it anymore. Second, I already don't have a chance, they don't even spare a glance at this piece of shit anyways."
"You really think so lowly of yourself, don't ya?" Moonbin shakes his head in disappointment. "If you'd actually spare a chance to look around I think you'd see the reality of things."
"Don't think I can see reality anymore. Each day I'm drifting further from reality and closer to insanity." Y/N sighs.
"Cheer up, would you? Being all depressed is making you more emo than you already are. I think you should learn to be more cheerful at times, you used to be so energetic for that issue." Moonbin glances over at Y/N as they walk through the halls of the school, still in the same buddy buddy position with Moonbin's arm around Y/N's shoulder.
"Easy for you to say, you're always so cheerful no matter what, it's kinda crazy." Y/N chuckled a little.
Moonbin shrugs, "Guess it's a perk of being not single."
"Pft, I bet your little Eunu is waiting for you right now." Y/N teased.
"Maybe Nunu is waiting... well I gotta go! See you after class YN/N!" Moonbin cracked up before running off.
"Curse you!" Y/N yelled back before going into her classroom.
Y/N sat down at her desk at the back of the room. Everyone else were with their friends while Y/N sat alone quietly, drawing random sketches of what she saw outside. She slowly dozed off into dreamland, her hands moving aimlessly on her sketchbook without much thinking.
The class door suddenly opened as the teacher stepped in with their things in their hands.
"Good morning class! Please settle down and prepare for class!" The Teacher announced before beginning to write the lesson on the chalkboard. The students groaned as they separated from their groups and seated down in their assigned seats. Y/N too broke out of her dream and closed her sketchbook, not minding to take a look at what she was drawing before giving her attention to the teacher.
The teacher went on introducing the lesson and explaining what they were going to learn today. Y/N tried to pay attention but after a quarter of the teacher explaining calculus she gave up. Her attention was brought outside where she spotted someone she always admired from afar.
'Kim Gaeul...' Y/N couldn't help but stare at the beautiful figure that was talking to some random students. 'Her laugh is just as beautiful...'
"Class dismissed! I'll say it again: Make sure to prepare for this semester's finals before winter break starts!" The teachers warned everyone in advance before people started to head out of the classroom.
'Ugh... finals... school sucks.' Y/N groaned while packing everything up before going to the cafeteria.
"YN/N! Over here!" Moonbin waved from the crowd of students in the cafeteria. Y/N gave her a death glare while bringing her tray of food over.
She sat down across from her and placed her things down by her side. "I swear to god... You're never going to give up on calling me that, are you?"
Moonbin shook his head, "Nope."
Y/N groaned in pure disgust while taking in a spoon full of kimchi fried rice. "The food here is good but hella expensive." Y/N said in between her bites.
Moonbin agreed, "Yea, but good food gotta be expensive out here, they need money to keep the school's reputation up."
"Hmph," Y/N swallowed the rice. "I think the reputation is mostly up to the students in the school, with shitty students it's a shitty school."
"Who knows," He shrugged, "all I can say is that everything varies, like that dream of yours."
Y/N raised her brow, "My dream?"
"Yea! Your dream of getting close to IVE!" Moonbin grinned.
"Can you lower your voice?!" Y/N hissed as she cautiously looked around.
"Oops, sorry, please spare this puppy-cat." Moonbin put his hands together and bowed to Y/N.
Sigh
"What am I to have a friend like you?"
"An awesome person of course!" Moonbin huffed out proudly.
"Whatever, let's go, I want to go walk around and take a breather." Y/N stood up.
"How are your dreams these days?" Moonbin asked. He knew about Y/N's dreams because she had told her about it, he was also the only person she had informed about this problem except for her doctor.
Y/N sighed, "Not much improvement, even with the pills nothing has really changed."
"I see, not even the prescription huh?" Moonbin also signed along.
"Somedays I wish the dreams would stop... on the other side I wish I could live in the dreams forever..." Y/N glanced over at Moonbin before continuing, "It's a hate-love relationship with the dreams. I love how I got to converse with them like it was nothing but I know it was all fake. I hate how each time I wake up I feel more empty... I longed to see them closer forever. It's like I could reach them but had no courage to do so."
Moonbin nodded thoughtfully, taking everything in.
"I'm saying too much now, yea?" Y/N chuckled lightly though she didn't sound quite happy with it.
"No, I think you're just being true to yourself which is always the first step to have what you want." Moonbin reassured her. "Like what you've said, you need courage, right?"
Y/N nodded.
"Then stir up the courage, gather all that you've got and go for the full blow! Even if the product was just a simple "Hi" and a "Hello" exchange it's better then nothing to start off with, right?" Moonbin says, which made sense if you thought about it.
"Yea... something is better than nothing." Y/N smiled a little, seemingly gaining courage. "So, anyways, how am I even going to get close enough to them? They're always surrounded by them."
Moonbin thought about it for a second then suddenly perked up as if a lightbulb was lit next to her.
"How about signing up for a tutor? I know that some of the members work as tutors!" Moonbin suggested.
"Hmm, but I don't really need help-"
"Hush! You need to lie! That's the whole point so you can get closer to them!" Moonbin covered Y/N's mouth.
"Fine, I'll sign up after school so wish the best for me." Y/N grimaced at the thought of lying but he had to do something to stop the ridiculous but lovely dreams.
"Alright! Let's go! Our YN/N is finally taking up the courage to talk to her forever soulmates!" Moonbin celebrated a bit too loudly.
"When won't you be more quiet?!" Y/N covered her friend's mouth in a hurry.
"Sorry!" He muffled out with a laugh.
.
.
.
'Now, let's begin the plan of action,' Y/N thought as she walked up to the teacher after class ended.
"Mr.Oh, can I talk to you about something?" Y/N asked her homeroom teacher.
"Yes, of course." Mr.Oh nodded as he cleaned up the stack of papers in-front of her. "So what is it?"
"I wanted to ask if I could sign up for a tutor? Since the finals are coming up, I just want some extra reassurance before it starts."
"Hm," Mr.Oh humed a little, seemingly to ponder over the idea.
"Yes, I can do that for you, but are you sure you want to waste your time and have a tutor for yourself? I've seen your examination grades before and I don't really think you would need one."
"I'm one hundred percent sure, Mr.Oh." Y/N said in determination. "Haven't you said that this examination is going to be harder than the last ones we've gone through? I just want to prepare for it all before I get any surprises."
Mr.Oh smiled a little, "I can see that you're really determined. Well I can't reject a student who wants extra educational help, so sure, I'll have you fill out a form and send it to the admins right away so they can add you in."
'Yes!' Y/N secretly celebrated with her. "Thank you!"
"It's my pleasure. Now why don't you go home and get some rest, you won't get much in the future." Mr.Oh patted her shoulders before leaving the classroom.
Y/N pumped her fist into the air, she had accomplished her first step! She's going to go to Moonbin and have a celebration later today.(A/N: I should make a separate chapter for Y/n but I'll do it some later 'cause I'm lazyyyyy )