James was awoken by a cold chill. He quickly sat up in the hospital bed breathing violently as sweat rolled down his face, his breathing was heavy the monitoring beeping as he tried to catch his breath. A nurse rushed into the room and tried to get James to calm down. This was happening more than James could count, every day and night he would wake up in a cold sweat, nightmares haunting his mind and soul.
After a long few minutes, the nurse got James' heart rate back down, calming him down. He sat leaning against the bed, looking at the grey wall. He had tears running down his cheek, he was tired, so, so tired. James wished for nothing more than to go to sleep and never wake up again. His mind was plagued with memories of those monsters. Of their nights of abuse and rape, his mind and body were altered in a way that James wished it wasn't. After he had gone off the pain medication James became jumpier, and more scared of the smallest sounds, screaming or crying out. It was concerning to the staff. The therapist he has been seeing has told them that all the trauma that James went through was too much for him, everything bubbled up and now it's spilling out. She has prescribed him pills he has to take for his paranoia and anxiety attacks and depression. She has regular checks with him but over the past 4 weeks, James had made no progress what's so ever. She said this takes time but James keeps getting worse and worse by day and night. Just 2 days ago he tried to harm himself, having to be restrained and drugged. He is now being closely monitored by a nurse every day and night, every 2 hours.
James had dried tears on his face as he looked at Nurse Midge. She stroked through his messy brown hair and sighed sitting next to him on the bed. "Another nightmare?" He gave her a small nod, he looked so drained. He looked ill, his face was sunken, and heavy eye bags were under his eyes. The doctors had to feed him food through a tube since he would discard his needs for food and water, he was already skin and bones when he arrived but this was way worse. "What was it about hun?" He blinked a few times, sighing. "I s-saw my f-father, I saw h-how they k-killed my f-father. The d-day it ha-happened." The woman nodded, stroking his hair once again. Anyone and everyone could see that there was no way that James killed his father, there were things not adding up many professionals spoke with James and all came to the conclusion that James did not kill his father, someone else did and that started the cycle of his trauma.
His body is visibly shaken he won't be able to fall asleep anyway. Nurse Midge smiled at the young boy. "Would you like a bath, James? Would that help?" James nodded and gave the woman a small smile back. She helped James moves his body to the edge of the bed and slowly get up, sitting him down in his wheelchair. She made her way to the cabinet and took out a fresh towel and some new clothes for James. She made her way back to James and let him hold his clothes as she wheeled him to his bathroom. She closed the door and moved to the bathtub, plugging it and turning the faucet on. She moved back to James and helped him up as he held onto her, helping him out of his clothes.
James sat back down as Nurse Midge checked the water temperature. She then wheeled him closer to the tub and helped him inside. The water hit James' body and he sighed in relief.
James sat there for a couple of minutes thinking about all of this, everything that happened, everything he went through and let some tears fall. Nurse Midge let James cry, and let him sit as long as he wants. She knew that James thought she will never be able to understand his experience, she can only support James and ensure to support and help him,
It still makes no sense to James. He's still confused as to why this all happened to him. He wants to forget everything, wants to believe it was all just a bad dream but all those nightmares and memories haunt him, humiliate him and show just how weak and powerless he was, how he let them control his life even after out of their grasp. Even after everything he still is haunted by them.
"This doesn't make sense, I feel like I'm going crazy!" He grasped his brown hair tightly and pulled at it as he cried into the water. He harshly pulled on his hair before he could pull out a chunk of his frustration Midge grabbed his arm. James struggled a bit but once he looked at Midge she had a gentle smile, a smile of a mother, she felt warm and comforting and the young man broke down in sobs.
Nurse Midge ensured to comfort the young man and then helped him wash up. She then helped him out of the bathtub, helping him dry and into clean clothes. He sat down in the wheelchair as Nurse Midge brushed through James' wet hair. It was getting pretty long but James told them he wanted to keep his hair long so they agreed.
After James was all done Midge helped to wheel James out of the bathroom. It was already half past six when she wheeled him out of the room toward the reception area. They made their way past the reception area towards the common area. She wheeled James to his usual spot, putting the break on. She smiled down at James. "Alright, James, be good and stay here alright? Dr Shawn will come to see you soon." James nodded and then the woman was off down the hall and through the double doors. Nurse Midge's shift ends at 7, she always makes sure to check up on James before leaving. James always wakes up early in the morning and Midge ensures to soothe him and get him to the common area before leaving, James likes Nurse Midge and Dr Shawn.
James sighed leaning back and looking at the TV. He yawned the news on. He paid the news no attention to it just closing his eyes. The common room was empty as it was till pretty early and James liked it this way. There were about 20 patients in this ward and most of them were older. James leaned his head backwards. "I'm so tired, when will this all end?" James was so tired. He was glad that the doctors and nurses at the hospital tried to make James feel as comfortable and safe but he was so tired. He wanted all of this to finally end, he didn't want to fight anymore. He sighed and closed his eyes, letting his mind go numb and blank and not before long he was out.
James was awoken as someone gently patted his shoulder. He opened his eyes looking up. It was one of the day-shift nurses. She smiled at James and told him that breakfast was being served. He sighed. The nurse unlocked his brakes and rolled him towards the dining hall. Once inside she grabbed his food and rolled him to one of the tables. As said before most of the patients were older, there was this one guy with ginger hair, he was about the same age as James who is also in a wheelchair. From what James heard his spine broke and he got paralyzed from the waist down, it's permanent but they are trying to do some physiotherapy with him.
James his breakfast in small bites, taking his time. They tried to get him closer to food and that was probably the only thing that James got better at, his appetite grew better and he could finally eat some solid foods without being tube fed. James looked over and smiled as he spotted the young man who sat across the room. He didn't look bad, his ginger hair complimented his pale skin and his blue eyes. He had a bigger build than James but was about his height.
The young man sighed leaning on his elbow as he looked at him, admiring his beauty. James always loved people who were pure ginger and got jealous of most of them.
He almost choked on his apple once James met his eyes. He quickly turned his gaze away blushing, embarrassed of getting caught staring. There was some movement and James looked up, the man now right in front of his table. "Hey, you're James, right? I heard you got out of a coma a few weeks ago." James looked at him awkwardly and nodded. "Yeah, but maybe it would have been better if I stayed asleep, so much shit keeps haunting me, it's tiring."
He chuckled and smiled at James who froze in place, his smile was sweet and genuine and it made him envious. 'Didn't Elijah smile like that too?' James almost choked at that thought. He crunched up his fists and sighed, anger bubbling up in his gut. Before James could lash out took in a few deep breaths and calmed himself down. He pressed his wheelchair and looked down before wheeling it away from the table. He looked at the visibly confused man.
"sorry I got to go, I'm not hungry anymore." He threw away the rest of his food in the trash - put away his tray and rolled out of the dining hall towards his room. Once inside James shut his door tightly and rolled away from it. Once by the window, he scrunched up his fists as tears started streaming down his face. "Why the fuck am I still thinking about those monsters, those psychopaths!" They were horrible. They hurt James, beat him, cursed him out, assaulted him and raped him and here he was thinking of them. They are the cause of all his nightmares and the pain he is in so why, why is he still attached to them!?
He banged his head against the window and let the tears consume him. He had no idea what the hell is wrong with him but he just can't let go of them, they still held weight over James, he could see and feel them with him even if they weren't and it was driving him crazy.
He choked out a sob looking out of the window at the streets below. The sun was peaking into the room, blinding his vision a little.
He got disturbed by a knock on the door and then the door opening. I didn't bother looking back not feeling it today. "James someone is here to see you." James looked back at Dr Shawn who stood by the door. He nodded in acknowledgement and then looked back towards the window. Multiple footsteps enter the room, the door closing after them. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Dr Shawn who looked a tad bit scared. James was confused but sighed, turning his wheelchair around; facing the room. His eyes then met his and James froze in place.
"W-What? N-No, wh-what's in-this?!" His mouth hung open as he stared into Sebastian's dark brown eyes. He was shocked, his hands shaking as he held onto the armrests of his chair. The air was chilly and James felt suffocated. He then felt tears falling down his cheeks. Dr Shawn looked at James and held onto him, trying to give some sort of support which wasn't helping at all as he has brought James' worst nightmare to life.
He lowered his head as tears rolled down his face, sobbing out a cry. It was quiet in the room, the only sound being James' loud cries, his body shaking. Dr Shawn was concerned. He knew who these men were, and he too felt scared of them but James' reaction was so surreal and then it hit Dr Shawn and he froze in his spot. He looked at the men and then back at James and put two and two together. He could now see, the core of James' trauma was right in front of him and he could do nothing. Since James is a wanted person and should have been taken care of by Mr Gonzales they had no power over what they do to James. Even if they are below the Mafia, they could face the police but this was a higher territory and even if Dr Shawn sympathized with James he couldn't do anything, he would be risking his life and he had his own family, wife and children. He felt pity for James but he couldn't do more.
James finally stopped his sobs and then laughter followed. He started hysterically laughing and the tension in the room was thick. Sebastian and the others said nothing and neither did Dr Shawn. He knew he should keep low and quiet. James finally looked up at the men, his eyes red and puffy as tears ran down his cheeks. He looked around the room and then raised a brow looking back at Sebastian."Wh-where is E-Elijah?" If the tension wasn't thick before now it was ready to burst. Sebastian didn't look fazed but Oliver looked pissed and glared at James, ready to throw himself at him Sebastian glared at him and he stopped in his place. "That traitor was eliminated! He chooses a piece of shit like you over us and he paid the price with his life." James was shocked and then gawked wide-eyed. He remembered Elijah helping him out after being raped, giving him pain medicine and then a different drug.
'Did he help me?' He was shocked at the news.
He looked at the men and laughed. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help himself. Even their friend, fuck buddy, or partner in crime chooses him over them. It's hilarious. He laughed and sobbed and Oliver grew more pissed by the second. Sebastian sighed and made his way towards James. Once a few feet away he looked at Dr Shawn and glared. "Get out!" James looked at him and gave him a small smile and nod. As quickly as James smiled at him and nod he left, out of the door leaving James alone with these lunatics. He knew it was wrong but what could he do? They could kill him, he knew that James didn't deserve this but he can't risk his life for someone else, not like this.
"Did you have fun? Some free time, Was it fun James?" The young man didn't say anything glaring at the older man. He had nothing to say to this man, no to this monster. He would rather not. "Fuck off!" Sebastian laughed leaning closer, he grabbed James by his jaw and glared at him. "It seems you forgot your place bitch!" James spits at Sebastian who lets go wiping his face before backhanding him and slapping his face. James grabbed his red cheek and glared. He wouldn't cry. Sebastian grabbed him again and smirked, leaning closer and taking his lips into a forced kiss. James tried fighting back and after a while, the older pulled away spitting back at James.
James blinked his eyes in disbelief, he looked at Sebastian with a glare too, staring back, he wouldn't break so easily, he promised himself. James felt so angry. "Just leave me the fuck alone! Why are you so obsessed? You're fucking monsters, how could you do this to me? For what reason? You even killed your friend, for what?!" James was fuming, he was so mad. He had never felt so mad before. Why couldn't these men just leave him the fuck alone? Why him?
"What the fuck do you want from me then you prick!?" He punched Sebastian's chest over and over again as tears kept coming and coming. He couldn't stop them and this time he wasn't planning on stopping them. After all, they did to him, they still had to go out of their way to do this to him. After all these pricks have done to him. James fucking done with all of them. They can all just die for all care. Fuck them all. He's done with their shit. They can fucking die.
"Stop being such a whiny bitch!"
He punched him again and again, done with all his shit. They've done enough already. He has enough of them using him, beating him, raping him, fuck them.
James has felt like he already lost his fucking mind long ago while being with them and he's so done. "No, fuck you! I don't fucking care anymore, you can all die for all I care. I tried even after you kidnapped, assaulted, beat, and humiliated me and I still gave you a chance and then you raped me, once again turning on me, and hurting me. I'm done. I'm fucking done with all of you pricks. Die. Just fucking die already and leave me be. I'm so done with your lies!"
He was now full-on bawling his eyes out as he fell to his knees in front of Sebastian. He leaned down and grabbed his face bringing it up but didn't meet his eyes; closing them. He tried to pull away wiping his tears. "Fuck all of you pricks. Fuck off, Sebastian! You all disgust me!" He met his eyes and he could see some anger twisting them but he no longer cared. Not sorry for anything he said. This was what they deserved, he just wanted to forget them.
Sebastian got off the ground turning away from James and making his way towards Oliver and Marcos who stayed silent the entire time. He then made his way towards the door not sparing James another look. The two others glared at him and then turned away following Sebastian. They first made it out of the door, Sebastian stopping in the doorway. Looked back at James and smirked.
"I hope you're happy with your decision, James."