A/N: Entire plot by MJ, all credit to her <33333
quick shitpost enjoy
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You entered the tavern for you first day of work and the first thing you noticed was how MOIST it was,
trying to impress the locals you spoke in a heavy southern accent so they wouldn't know about your Canadianess "gee gosh golly geee it sure is moist in here yeehaw"
You had just moved to this southern state (Texas maybe??? yeehaw???) because your parents abandoned you after you came out as dreamsexual and you had to flee the country to be safe from the wrath of your disappointed parents
once you somehow walked from Canada to yeehaw land you knew you wouldn't be able to watch your beloved minecraft youtuber without money to pay for wifi so you took a job in the local tavern where you would find a new meaning to life...
MOISTNESs :))))))
the bar was liek really moist so whenever you needed some liquid there was always some moistness to be licked off of the chairs or ceiling
it was so lovely just serving alcohol to humans and licking the moistness of of the chairs that you started becoming sexually attracted to things other than dreamy weamy... but you couldn't quite tell what that was... yet
once soggy moist day an injured man walked into the tavern and SHEEESH HE WAS HAWT
"yippy yeehaw what can I get for ya young daddy?" you said him as he was bleeding on your carpet
he looked up at you and said "aaaa hurt pls bandage yeehaw"
he was hot so you took him to your bedroom upstairs ;)
"have yeehaw have bandage"
"thanks darling"
OWO he just called us darling eheheeheheh you almost pissed yourself from the hotness
"d-do you want to bake cupcakes with me senpai?"
"WAIT ARE YOU NOT FROM TEXAS NO YEEHAW >:(((("
"I-I mean yeehaw senpai?"
"UGhHHHH CANAIDIAN I guess I will bake cupcakes with you because you saved life but I go after that IMMA COWBOY"
You were so sad he found our ur true identity :( no cowboy bf anymore but at least... cupcakes
after you bandaged the Canadianist man you went downstairs to the kitchen to make some cupcakes ;)
the way this man made the dough so creamy was just UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH O//w//O
you almost pissed urself from looking at the texture of the cream
each ingredient he added just made it look more and more moist and creamy, you tried controlled your urge to shove the dough up your ass as you moaned because C R E A M
the southerner man was very confused about your moaning but he didn't mention it because ur Canadian and it must just be a part of Canada's rich culture or smth ;-;
"since ur from canada should I add some maple cream- I mean syrup yeehaw"
"YEsS daddy add the moist stuff :))))"
as he added the maple syrup you watched in awe imagining it's yummy yummy taste
the hot man put the cupcakes in the oven and as you stared intently watched them RISE he asked you how you wanted to decorate them
"baby gurl how do u want to cream them?"
"PEPPA PIG PEEPA PIG" you screeched
*sigh* "a degenerate I see"
together you and the hot man skillfully creamed the cupcakes until they looked like peppa pig and when you were done, THEY LOOKED SO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
you could barely stop yourself from pissing everywhere
"daddy Canadianist.."
"W H A T"
"I-I always thought I was dreamsexual,,,,,, but I just want to come out to you now that I know for sure I'm,,,,,, I-I'm peppa pig cupcake sexual O//w//O"
"oh god" the hot injured man said as he left the building immediately
...
the peppa pig cupcake turned and looked into your eyes
"I am peppa pig cupcake sexual sexual ;)"
"w-whaaaaaa senpai daddy I mean owo"
"human ur so hot can we smash? :)))))"
OMG HOT PEPPA PIG CUPCAKE WANT TO SMASH :00000
"yusss baby gurll" the cupcake said as it crawled into your hole
"baby are you sure you want to do this? I'm from C-C-Canada :<"
"dw cutie I fuck all genders ;)"
the cupcake started licking you from inside, eating every bit of moistness it found
"NGGHH PEPPA RIGHT THERE"
you let out a finally 'nya~' before cumming on the cupcake's face which it licked up happily ;)
"baby gurlllllll can do you me a favor and suck my icing for me?"
"y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy--y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y--y-yy--y-yes daddy OWO"
you rested your lips on the peppa cupcake's creamy creamed icing sucking it softly as the cupcake moaned from the pleasure
"ahhh you're so good at that~"
you felt the icing starting to become more and more creamy as you kept sucking... the cupcake was near spraying it's cream all over your face :>
"YEET" the cupcake screamed as it came and all of it's cream that you so desperately desired to eat while the Canadianist man was making it, was now all over your face :))))))))))))
"peppa cumcake daddy please sex me harder~"
"I put cock inside u?" the cupcake asked politely
"eat me."
the cupcake suddenly pulled a 12 inch shlong out of it's wrapper
SOOOOOOOOOOO YUMMY you couldn't stop staring at it's massive yummy owo daddy cock
"COCKKKKKKKKKKK UGHHHHHHHHHH" you screamed as the cupcake shoved it inside you passive aggressively
the peppa pig cupcake quickly got to work and started breeding you
"AAAAAAAAA UR SO TIGHT" the cupcake screamed
"nyaaa daddy cupcake I can't help it your cock feels so good inside of me~"
"ahahahah u like my creamy creamed cream don't you?"
"YESSSSSSSSSS CREAM"
*growls loudly*
"you barking for me baby gurl? ;)"
*BARK BARK*
'O//w//O
"UR COCK FEELS SO MOIST IM CUMMING"
"go ahead my sexual~"
you came like super duper poggers on the cupcake's cock BUT IT KEPT GOING WOWW :0000
PEPPA KNOWS WHAT THEY DOING OWO
after 69 hours of breeding the peppa finally finished and checked to see if you were still alive but you were dead :'(
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That morning you woke up tucked into your comfy bed
huuuhhh was that all a dream? no peppa cupcake gf???
then you noticed a big strong peppa pig cupcake laying next to you confirming that YOU HAVE A GF WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo
"p-peppa owo you're still here?"
"yes you died from how good I sexed you"
"OML AM I DED" :00000
"no I used my cream to revive you boba gurl ;)"
you could still taste peppa's delicious cream in your mouth to confirm that the cupcake was telling the truth
the cupcake hottly leaned over you and said, "I made you breakfast baby ;)"
"s-senpai o//w//o you should put some clothes on"
"no dum dum clothes are illegal now"
"okie ig we eating bekfast sussly, what's for bekfast btw?"
"cream~"
O//w//O
BARK BARK