genre: fluff
pairing: spencer reid x oc
word count: 8k
warnings: yall. none. this hasn't happened in forever.
summary: spencer and amelia are finally happy.
gonna post a separate "chapter" with an authors note from me right after this.
as always, and for the last time, vote and comment <3
SPENCER
Waking up in the morning has been such a chore lately. The exhaustion that comes over me from the moment I wake up is all-consuming and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to catch up on my sleep. So when the alarm clock decides to ring as loud as it possibly can in my ear, I slam my hand down on it as fast as I possibly can to hit the snooze button.
The snicker that comes from Amelia's side of the bed earns a small scoff from me and I don't even bother to open my eyes just yet as I pull the duvet closer to my chin. "Go back to sleep."
I feel the bed shifting behind me, Amelia rolling over and scooting closer to me. She slings her arm around my waist and presses her front to my back, bringing a huge smile to my face. She, clearly, isn't making any effort to get out of bed or to encourage me to get out of bed but I couldn't even care less. I just revel in the warmth of her body against mine and her hands brushing over my skin and her breath on the back of my neck. "If you don't get up and get dressed soon then you're gonna be late," she warns, but the way Amelia starts kissing my shoulder blades contradicts every word that drips out of her mouth.
"Mm," I hum nonchalantly, "what's a few minutes?"
Amelia hums back, softer than me, as she sinks further into the bedsheets and uses her leg to pry mine apart, slotting hers in the new space there. "I could stand a few more minutes."
We silently agree to let the silence exist in our bedroom and neither of us moves a single muscle. Amelia's hand even goes still against my chest and her kisses cease, even if I don't want them to. But we just take the moment to feel each other's touches and revel in the way the sunlight just barely pours in through the closed curtains.
Our moment is shortlived as the alarm clock goes off yet again, this time eliciting a groan from Amelia. It's my turn to laugh as I reach forward to hit snooze one more time, but I know that my extra morning time is up and our door will be opening any second. A small whine comes from Amelia's lips as she buries her face further into my neck, and just as her lips touch my skin again, the bedroom door creaks open. I try to keep my face as still as I possibly can, closing my eyes again to fake sleep.
There's the sound of little feet, pitter-pattering as they make their way to the edge of the bed, and then a tiny dip in the mattress. Both Amelia and I keep up our sleeping act as the little feet get closer and closer, trying not to trip over the duvet wrapped so tightly around us.
"Are you awake?" In response, I scrunch up my nose and let out one loud snore. "Daddy, you're faking!"
The little body falls directly on top of mine, making a groan escape my lips, but a smile replaces the unenthusiastic sound, nonetheless. "Oh," I roll onto my back, wrapping my arms around the little one and pulling her to my chest, "you caught me, Miss Eloise," I attack her face with kisses, eliciting a flurry of laughs and giggles that fill the stagnant morning air. "You're so smart. You caught me!"
"And Mommy was faking too!" Eloise reaches for Amelia beside us, clinging to her mother like the tiny koala she is. "You fake it every morning!"
"We're just being silly, peanut," Amelia quips, taking her own turn in attacking Eloise's cheek in kisses. "Daddy's silly, isn't he?"
"Mhm," Eloise settles her head against Amelia's shoulder and tangles her hand in Amelia's now-shoulder length curls, staring over at me with her huge brown eyes.
Eloise as a firstborn was the most annoying introduction to parenting that Amelia and I could have gotten. Amelia was riddled with aches and pains during her pregnancy and we were constantly making trips to the ER, and even calling JJ and Savannah to ask if certain things were normal. And once Eloise blessed us with her presence, she was truly the most annoying baby. She cried through the night and left Amelia and me absolutely exhausted during the day. But it was worth it because every moment spent trying to quiet her cries or reading books to her or feeding her or taking walks with her in a stroller meant another moment I got to spend being her father and another moment I get to spend living the perfect life. And now that she's a little older and is the perfect big sister, she's an absolute angel. But she will always be my firstborn, my little girl, and she will never be more than a baby to me.
"How about, since you've already barged in here to wake us up," Amelia teases, getting another laugh from Eloise, tossing her head back to look at me upside down, "you go get dressed so that you're not late to school?"
"Okay," she complies easily, but it's not a surprise. She takes after me in loving to learn and she loves going to school. Every parent likes to claim that their child is such a smart kid, but Eloise truly is smart. She is constantly badgering me to tell her all the facts that I've memorized and she wants me to read her books that are well above her level. She's six years old and well beyond her years. The only time it was ever a chore to get her to go to school was her first day of preschool when she screamed and cried and refused to let go of us for almost an hour. But after the first day, she is usually the one dragging us out of the house to get to school instead of the other way around.
"But you've got to give me kisses before you go get dressed," Eloise immediately kisses Amelia all over her cheeks, the same way Amelia had done to her, and the sight of my two girls together makes my heart absolutely burst out of my chest.
Eloise tries to climb off the bed once the kisses have ceased, but I gasp dramatically, practically tackling her. "What about me? I don't get any kisses? I already gave you kisses but I don't get any back?"
"I'm sorry, Daddy! I'll give you kisses!" She kicks her little legs against my arm to try to get out of my grasp, but then she stops squirming and leans up to lay a wet kiss on my cheek, then pushes on my arm. "I gotta get dressed for school!"
"Alright, alright, go ahead," I safely set her on the floor so she doesn't have to risk climbing onto the elevated bed again and she goes running off, hopefully back to her bedroom to put on an outfit with colors that match.
I don't let my eyes leave the door until Eloise is completely out of my line of sight and once she's gone, I remember that I, too, need to get ready for school. I let out a sigh and fall backward, my head falling onto Amelia's lap. She looks down at me and brushes her fingers through my hair, but then quickly tips her head up and lets out a loud yawn.
"Hmm," I hum lowly, grabbing her hand and bringing her knuckles to my lips, "how did you sleep last night? Did you sleep at all?"
"Not well," Amelia tugs on my hair to get a knot out, bringing a grimace to my face, and she quickly spits out a quiet apology. "I had a nightmare, and I'm actually surprised nobody heard me because I thought I was screaming. Then our little bub decided to beat up my ribs so I went and sat on the porch swing for a while. So no, I didn't sleep much but I guess I'm used to it. It's okay."
I pivot my position to face Amelia's protruding tummy, lifting her shirt and tilting my chin forward to press a kiss to her tummy. "Hey, little one," I murmur, flattening my hand over her bump, "why don't you let Mommy sleep, hmm? She needs all the sleep she can get before she has to give birth to you."
"I think we've learned that bargaining for sleep doesn't really work," Amelia quips, "but thank you for trying." She twists her head and glances at the clock, pouting her lips. "Alright, now that we've had our morning invasion, you've really gotta get dressed. I'll go wake up the other ones and start on breakfast."
"Don't exert yourself too much, sweetheart. I don't want you to–"
"It's just breakfast, Spence, I'll be okay," her soft smile manages to make my cares float away and just when I forget about getting dressed and about my long day of work ahead, and just when I sit up and lay a kiss on her lips, the alarm clock sounds for the third time. "Oh, good god, dove, please learn how to use that alarm clock," Amelia leans over me and presses a button, and the annoying ringing stops.
"Technology is not my forte and you knew that–"
"When I met you, I got it," she starts pushing me off the bed and over to the closet, urging me yet again to start getting dressed for the day. "I'm gonna go wake up the kids and I'll meet you downstairs. And yes, I'll make you coffee, you don't have to ask!"
AMELIA
"Hey, hey, hey," I whisper, pushing open the bedroom door, illuminating lavender walls and a white canopy bed filled with stuffed animals, "Posie, come on, it's time to wake up, my love," Posie rolls over, clutching a floppy bunny in her arms, one that I swore to Spencer looks like the one from Knuffle Bunny. She scrunches up her face and covers it with her bunny as I come and sit on the bed beside her, picking her up and bringing her into my arms. "It's time for breakfast, love."
Her little head flops onto my shoulder and her knees curl into my stomach, not too harshly though because Spencer has made sure to tell the kids that Mommy has a baby in her tummy and everyone needs to be very gentle with both of us. But she cuddles up to my side like the absolute snuggle bug that she's always been, ever since she was a baby.
My pregnancy with Eloise wasn't the easiest and she was a difficult baby to have as a firstborn. But Mariposa, named after my mother, of course, and nicknamed Posie, was an angel as a baby and gave me an easier pregnancy too. Once she was born, most of the time her crying meant that she just wanted to be held. So the moment either Spencer or I would pick her up, she would put her little hands on our chest and stop crying right away. This led to plenty of adorable moments of walking by the nursery, only to find Spencer on the rocking chair with Mariposa against his chest, fast asleep with his hand against her back to keep her flush against him. And Posie's love for cuddles never ceased, even at three years old, and she's constantly hanging on Spencer and me like a monkey (but Spencer's favorite analogy is a koala).
"Did you get a lot of sleep? Did Cinnabun help you sleep?" I grab one of the ears of the stuffed bunny and tickle it against her nose, bringing the most adorable smile to her face.
"Yeah, he helps me sleep and I sleep really good but I'm still sleepy," she tells me through a long, loud yawn, her free arm clinging to my neck, "and hungry."
"Oh no," I fake dread and gasp, standing up with her in my arms and carrying her out of her bedroom, "I can't keep you hungry for too long, can I? We're gonna go wake up Little Brother and then I'll go make some breakfast," Once again, I tip toe through the next bedroom door in the hallway and over to the crib, helping Posie lean over. "Nice and gentle, remember?"
Posie nods as she reaches her hand out to pat Beckett's shoulder, watching as the twenty month old starts to stir. "Little Brother? Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey! It's breakfast time!"
Beckett whines loudly and reaches his hands up blindly for me, his quilted blanket, made by Diana, falling off his body. So I place Posie down on the ground and she goes rushing into the hallway and hopefully down to the kitchen, and once one child is gone, I pick up my squirming little boy and place a big kiss on his cheek. "Good morning, my love! Good morning!" Beckett smiles in the most adorable way and clings to my side, wrapping his arms around my neck with an iron grip with one hand grasping my hair. "Okay, come on, it's breakfast time."
I carry the third, yet not final, Reid child down the stairs and into the kitchen, finding Eloise helping Posie into one of the barstools at the island. Then Posie reaches over and perches Cinnabun at the stool next to hers, adjusting her floppy ears before putting her legs criss-cross applesauce.
"Mommy?" Posie wonders cutely as I walk into the kitchen and put Beckett into his high chair. "Can we have eggs and bacon for breakfast?"
"No!" Eloise whines, shaking her head at lightning speed, "we had eggs and bacon yesterday! I want pancakes! We always have pancakes on Tuesday!"
"But I don't want pancakes," Posie whimpers, and I can already tell that tears are on their way just from the quiver in her voice. "Eloise always gets what she wants and I never do! It's so unfair!" An exasperated sigh falls from my lips as I connect the last buckle around Beckett and coax his hand out of my hair, and just as I'm turning to console my now crying child, Spencer comes sauntering into the kitchen with his untied tie around his neck and his dress shoes in his hand. He looks at me with wide eyes, as if to ask what's going on, and I just shrug in response.
"Hey, hey, what's with the tears?" Spencer hauls Posie into his arms and cradles her to his chest, swaying his hips back and forth to calm her down. Eloise pouts more than ever as Posie babbles on and on to Spencer about how badly she wants eggs and bacon for breakfast but how her sister wants pancakes.
While this goes down on one side of the kitchen, I pull out the waffle maker and the appropriate mix and put it in Spencer's view, then I start to cut up a banana for Beckett as quick as I can and put that on his tray so he can eat. He beams as I put the pieces of banana on his little tray, already sticking his fingers in the softening fruit. "Tank ooh, Mama!"
"Oh, you're so welcome, nugget," I quip, booping his nose before moving back to the counter to start making the waffle mix.
"Okay, my love," Spencer murmurs, and he sits Posie on the edge of the counter so he can wipe her tears off her cheeks, "I know you want eggs and that Eloise wants pancakes, but I don't think that crying is going you what you want, right? You need to ask nicely, right? And I think that Mommy is going to make waffles today, but maybe if you ask nicely tomorrow or the next day, then me or her will make eggs and bacon. But today's not the day, okay?"
I watch Posie pout but she still nods, hugging Spencer's neck once more, and he smiles at me over her shoulder. I return a smile to him and make it obvious to him that I'm grabbing the coffee grounds and start to make him his normal cup of coffee in the morning, all while he carries Posie back to her seat between Eloise and Cinnabun.
"Hello again, Ellie," Spencer runs his fingers through Eloise's unruly curls and gives her what must be her millionth kiss on her cheek before passing the girls, "and hello, Cinnabun, how are you on this fine morning?" He leans between Posie and the stuffed bunny, nudging Posie with his head as he attempts to get his ear close to the tiny bunny. "Wonderful! I'm glad to hear that you're doing well. Oh, me? I'm absolutely perfect. I'm doing great. Thank you for asking, sir."
"Daddy," Eloise chirps, the two girls in fits of giggles, "Cinnabun can't talk! He's just a stuffed bunny!"
Spencer shoots upright, his face etched in confusion, his tie almost falling off of his neck. "What? What are you talking about? He just talked to me so I have so idea what you're talking about," he pretends to whip his hair as he turns his back to them, eliciting even more laughs from the girls. Spencer then gets to Beckett and dishes out his affections to his son. "Good morning, Mr. Beck! How are you today? Are you enjoying the banana that Mommy gave you? I bet you are because it's all over your face and your hands!"
"Everything is always all over his face and hands," I remark over my shoulder.
"You're very right," Spencer finishes his rounds with me, putting his hands on his hips and pressing his lips to my cheek, and I find myself wondering how many kisses he has given out this morning alone, much less in the years since Eloise has been born. "Thank you for making breakfast, doll."
"Thank you for diffusing the tantrum," I toss a kiss to him over my shoulder as I continue to pull waffles out of the maker and add them to the pile. "Could you pull out the–"
"Got it," he pulls away and goes to grab the bottle of syrup from the fridge and sets it on the table with the girls, and takes over the job of dividing up waffles onto plates for all of us. "Alright, Miss Ellie, we've gotta leave in twenty minutes and you've still gotta tie your shoes and Mommy still has to do your hair, so get eating."
Beckett suddenly erupts into a fit of giggles, bringing everyone's attention towards him as he bounces up and down in his seat. "Poe! Poe! Poe!" Our cocker spaniel, Poe, named after one of Spencer's favorite authors, has finally woken up to join the family and has begun licking Beckett's bare feet, who is also named after one of Spencer's favorite authors. Beckett kicks his feet in pure joy but then he seems to return to his breakfast. "Here!" He squeals, picking up a small piece of banana, "'Nana fo' Poe!"
"No, no, no," Spencer chuckles, rushing over and nudging Poe away as he gobbles up the piece of banana from Beckett, "that banana is for you, mister, not Poe. Poe gets his own food."
Beckett just keeps giggling without a care in the world, trying to reach for his feet, probably slimy and slick with dog spit. So while Spencer goes to fill Poe's bowl, I claim the job of wiping off Beckett's feet, which only gets more giggles from him. Ticklish feet, I guess. He gets that from his dad.
"Go sit and eat, please," Spencer grabs my waist and directs me to a barstool, then puts a plate of waffles in front of me. "Hey, Posie," the little girl's head pops up, her face practically dripping with syrup. I choke on a laugh and I watch as Spencer tries to hold back his grimace at the second consecutive sticky mess of the morning. But he quickly gets past it and points a finger at her. "Your job for today and for every day from now on is to make sure that Mommy doesn't do too much work, okay? Remember we talked about the baby in her tummy? Well, she can't be doing too much work or else she might get sick, okay? So I'm counting on you to be a big girl when I'm at work and when Ellie's at school."
Posie beams at the prospect of getting to be a big girl since she always claims that it's a title that can only be held by Eloise. She nods quickly and holds her thumb up with a huge smile. "You got it!"
"Awesome," Spencer sends a teasing smile my way, crouching down to tie his shoes.
Eloise comes to stand beside my barstool and lets me put her hair in a braid while she raves to Spencer about what she will be learning today. He asks plenty of questions and kisses her cheek and makes her giggle. It makes my heart flutter.
"All done, baby," I say as I tie the end of her braid. "Now, go get your shoes on with Daddy and get going. Don't be late."
"Okay!" She runs off towards the front door with Spencer on her heel, leaving me with the younger kids.
"Mommy?" Posie hops onto the barstool beside mine, her puppy now tucked under her arm. She leans onto my arm and rests her cheek against my shoulder. "Can we go see Daddy at work today?"
I have to hold in a laugh at the way she has instantly failed at keeping me from exerting myself. "Sure, love. But let's make it a surprise."
Eloise comes running back in and throws herself into my arms. "Bye, Mommy!" And then she crouches down in front of me and puts her little hands on my tummy. "And bye baby!"
"Goodbye, Ellie. Have an amazing day," I kiss the top of her head and send her off to Spencer's car, giving him a hug at the door. "Be careful, okay?"
He smiles at me, sliding his hands across my stomach and kissing my forehead. "I always am. Don't worry about me. I love you."
"I love you too. Have a good day."
"Bye Daddy!" Posie shouts, sprinting in from the kitchen and hugging Spencer's legs. He crouches down to hug her properly and whispers something in her ear that makes her giggle. "I will, Daddy."
"Alright, loveys, I gotta go. I'll see you later!" He gives me one more smile before he heads out the door, helping Eloise into her car seat and then driving off.
Poe trots up beside me and nudges his wet nose against my leg, searching for attention. But Posie scoops him up and holds him like a baby before I get that chance. "Mommy," Posie turns to me with the dog cuddled in her arms, her face sharp and trying to be intimidating, "Daddy gave me a very important job, you know?"
I smirk at her, leaning against the wall. "Mhm, love, I do."
"And Daddy said you can't lift anything heavy. So if you want Poe cuddles then tell me first," she presses her pointer finger into her chest, "and I will pick him up for you. Got it?"
"Got it, boss," I salute her and she breaks her seemingly hard facade with a laugh. "You're the best little bodyguard Mommy could ask for. Go get dressed and we can go to the park."
The mornings are always hectic, and getting Spencer and Eloise out the door is just step one. I juggle Beckett and Posie, trying to get them dressed in weather-appropriate outfits. For today, that means rainboots. Posie happily gets dressed and babbles on about another little girl she met at the park last week who she wants to see again. Beckett giggles his way through me brushing his very short hair and putting his rain jacket on him. Then the kids cuddle up together on my bed while I get myself dressed and ready. Posie eventually jumps up to help me put my shoes on and gives me her opinion on which sweater I should wear today. We decide on the lavender one since it's Daddy's favorite color.
I love mornings with the people I adore more than anyone else, but I love the days too. I love getting to take my kiddos to the park and wipe ice cream off of Posie's cheeks and help my kids into high chairs and booster seats. I love coming back home and deciding which cartoon we want to watch while I make chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. Some may call it a boring life but I couldn't imagine doing anything else.
"My nuggets, we gotta get going," I announce to the two on the couch, collecting their plates from the coffee table. "Time to go pick up sister from school."
Beckett perks up, reaching for me. "Ellie!"
"Yeah, bub! Ellie!" I squeal, attacking his chubby cheek with kisses. "Shoes on, gang. Let's get going."
The moment Eloise is in my car, she is talking my ear off. She tells me all about what she learned and what Lucas said to her on the playground and what her favorite mathematical equation currently is. I know I'll have to hear this all again when Spencer comes around but I could listen to her talk forever. We stop at a bakery on the way to the BAU. As always, Beckett points to a cupcake to smush all over his face, Posie gets a flower-shaped sugar cookie, Eloise gets a fudge brownie, I get one of each of those things to feed myself and the bub in my tummy, and we agree to get a donut for Dad. And once we have all gotten our sweets, I get everyone back into the car. We shout the lyrics to Frozen with the windows down and giggle as the drizzling rain wets our noses. Eloise and Posie share the umbrella on the way into the large FBI building, and Beckett sticks his tongue out to try and catch raindrops as he rests his head on my shoulder.
The receptionist grins at us when we enter, giving everyone visitor passes to clip onto their shirts. Eloise helps Posie put hers on. The girls cling close to my side, as they always do when we come here, as we pass by all the official-looking agents with guns on their hips and case files tucked under their arms. Posie whispers something in Eloise's ear and they intertwine their hands at their sides. Beckett babbles in my ear and strings together some words he knows, pointing at people who pass. I just laugh and give agents apologetic smiles.
"Through the door, loves. Let's go," I instruct the kids, entering a new wing of the humungous building. "And we're turning down the hall. Right, right, you got it. Remember which room it is?"
"2B!" Eloise exclaims excitedly, tugging on her sister's hand. "This one!" She now points to a closed-door, placing her hand flat against it. "Can we go in?" She goes on her tiptoes to reach for the handle but I stop her before she can enter.
"No, no, remember I've gotta look first!" We have had a few too many near run-ins with graphic images or mature information being taught when we come to visit. So I've taken to checking through the door window before we interrupt. Once the coast is clear, I nod at the girls.
They give each other a giggly look before working together to get the door open. Everyone turns their heads toward the door, the huge lecture hall going silent. Spencer looks up, confused at the sudden intrusion, but then his face lights up in the most beautiful, gorgeous, radiant smile. "Hi!" He exclaims, his voice booming across the hall. "What are you girls doing here?" Spencer opens up his arms for the girls to jump in and they do, each wrapping themselves around one of his arms.
"Mommy said we could visit after school!" Eloise giggles, tangling one of her hands in his growing curls. I stand in the doorway with Beckett now asleep in my arms, watching my favorite people in the world interact. Spencer kisses Posie's cheek and she tucks her face in his neck, holding her dad very close.
"Everyone," he says to his happily distracted class, "these are my kiddos. Would you like to introduce yourselves?"
Eloise beams at Spencer's side, jumping up on down on her toes and waving to the lecture hall of almost agents. "Hi! I'm Eloise."
There are murmurs of hellos and many people cooing over how cute they are. They get that from their dad. Spencer nudges his shoulder against Posie but she keeps her head tucked in his shoulder, too shy to face the crowd. Spencer smiles and kisses her forehead. "This is Posie. She's a little shy. That little guy back there," he points towards me holding our son, "is Beckett. And the lovely woman back there is my wife, Amelia. I have talked about her many times."
"Hi," I wave at everyone and slowly make my way to the front of the room, making sure I don't wake Beckett. "I'd apologize for interrupting your lecture but I don't think anyone is upset about it."
"Yeah," Spencer scoffs with a teasing roll of his eyes, "you're ending my class ten minutes early. Everyone, we'll pick up here next week. You're free to go."
I sink into Spencer's desk chair as the agents file out of the hall, some waving at the kids and gushing at their cuteness. I don't blame them. Spencer comes over to give me and Beckett a kiss, clutching Posie in his arms.
"Daddy," Posie whimpers, arms tight around his neck, "that was so scary! So many people!"
"I know, love, I know it was scary. But you did it! You did so well in front of all those people. I'm so proud of you, P." He smothers her in hugs and kisses, making my heart melt. Then Eloise inserts herself into their hug, hugging both her dad and her sister. "Hey, Lia, come join the cuddle puddle," Spencer offers his hand up to me and tugs me into his arms, sharing his embrace with all of his loves. I kiss Posie's cheek and snuggle into Spencer's chest. It's a less than ideal setting for this moment, standing in a lecture hall, but I don't have it in me to care. I just enjoy the moment to hold my whole world in my arms, all four, technically five, of my squirming and giggling babies.
Posie clings to Spencer and insists on going home with him instead of me. She's still recovering from the energy it took to stand in front of a room full of strangers. This leaves Eloise the privilege of gifting Spencer his donut with chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles, which he eats in barely a second. He has a habit of skipping lunch on his busy days.
"So," I say as we stroll out of the hall, towards the door, "what are we feeling for dinner, loves?"
"And remember what we said this morning, girls," Spencer holds the door open for all of us, Posie in his arms as he reaches to wipe drool off Beckett's cheek. "We ask nicely for what we want, right?"
"Right," Eloise nods confidently. "Daddy, I had pizza for lunch today."
"Sounds good. I'm so jealous," once again, he holds the door open for us to exit the wing and head towards the BAU. "Posie, what'd you and Mommy have?"
"Grilled cheese," she beams with a toothy smile.
"Mm, sounds so good," Spencer keeps his voice over-animated, shooting me teasing smiles over and over.
A loud gasp shifts all of our attention towards the glass doors of the BAU. Eloise and Poise gasp right back, running away from us to throw their arms around Aunt Penelope. "My angels! I've missed you so much!" The noise rouses Beckett and he starts to squirm out of my arms, reaching towards her. Her face lights up. "Oh! Yes! Beck, get your cute little butt over to Auntie Penny and give her a hug!"
I start to set his feet down on the floor. "You wanna show Penny what you learned, babe? Huh? Let's show her."
Beckett holds onto my fingers and steadies himself on his feet, wiggling his toes and his smile spreading wide. The rest of the team, bar a finally retired Rossi, comes out to join us and witness Beckett kind of walking. They cheer him on as he takes three incredibly shaky steps with his hands in mine, and when he finally falls to his bottom, they cheer even louder. I waited my whole life to have Spencer and these kids. I waited so long to have a family that I could come home to and who I could love. But with meeting Spencer, I gained another family. I gained a group of misfits who love each other unconditionally and who we know will never leave. I couldn't imagine living without these people and I don't know how I lived before them. Although, I guess I wasn't really living. I was just surviving. But standing here, surrounded by all the people I love most in my life, I know that I finally am where I yearned to be.
///
"Mommy! Mommy!"
"Coming!" I sing-song, pulling a hoodie over my head and bounding down the hall to the bathroom.
Spencer is sitting beside the tub, nearly soaking wet and covered in bubbles. A slippery body hits mine and Posie clings to my leg, covered in a towel with a dinosaur hood. "Save me, Mommy!"
"Save you from what?" I haul her into my arms and hold her close, shielding her from Spencer when he turns around, making roaring noises. "Oh, no!" Spencer flicks water at us and Posie giggles wildly. "I've saved you, angel. Saved you from Daddy."
Spencer laughs and shakes some soapy water off of his hand, picking Beckett off the floor and placing him in the tub to be washed next. "You may have saved Miss Mariposa but you'll never be able to save Mr. Beck!" He dives in and attacks Beckett with kisses, making our son giggle wildly against his dad's stubbly cheek.
I laugh at the two and pull the towel tighter around Posie, carrying her to her bedroom. Eloise is already in there, picking out pajamas for her sister. She insisted they wear their matching Elsa and Anna jammies to sleep tonight.
But just as I've gotten the girls dressed and in their beds, a loud crack of thunder shakes the house. Eloise gasps, looking at me with wide, terrified eyes. "It's okay," I immediately reassure her, sitting on the edge of her bed and brushing her hair off her forehead. "You're gonna be okay. The storm is outside and you are–" a flash of lightning followed by a clap of thunder cuts me off. Eloise squeals and buries her face in my lap, needing me desperately to protect her from the thunderstorm. I hear the sharp cry of my baby boy from down the hall. Posie darts into Eloise's bedroom, tears in her eyes and her stuffed puppy in her arms. I give her a soft smile, reaching out for her. "Come here, angel. Everything is okay." Posie jumps onto the bed and takes my shoulder since Eloise is in my lap.
But then Spencer pops his head in the room, holding our weepy boy who is still wrapped in a towel. "My girls okay? I know we don't like storms."
"Can–" Eloise looks between us with her teary eyes, "Can we sleep with you tonight?"
Spencer and I exchange a quick look but it is futile. Bedtime cuddles are our favorite and we would never say no. Spencer agrees and the girls scramble to grab pillows or stuffed animals. We walk to our bedroom together, turning off hallway lights and shutting the bedroom door behind us. The girls climb onto the bed and Spencer places Beckett in the bassinet right beside the bed, getting him dressed for bed.
"Daddy?" Posie's little voice wonders from her spot tucked under the duvet against my pillow. I put on a tank top and shorts to sleep in. "Can you tell us why the loud noises happen during the rain?"
Spencer and I exchange one more look, a hint of a smirk on his lips. "That I can do for you. So," he finishes getting Beckett changed and sits on the edge of the bed, "those loud noises are called thunder, loves. And the flash of lights after the thunder is called lightning. Some people say that thunder happens because the heat from the lightning heats the air so fast that the air expands. Then the air expands so fast that it makes a shock wave in the air, and that's the thunder. But I'm gonna let you in on something special, okay? P and E, you ready for this?" Then he reaches his hand towards the bassinet. "You too, B. You gotta pay attention." Then his eyes travel up to me, leaning against the closed door with my arms over my chest. "A, you gotta join us."
I don't immediately move. I just stare at my family. I smooth my hand over my growing bump. Spencer smiles at me and I'm catapulted back to that first moment I ever saw him smile, standing way too close in a busy cafe on the way to work. He seemed like a little boy back then, compared to now. We both seemed so young and naive, so happily clueless of the hardships ahead of us. The hardships and the trauma that still plagues our minds.
Sometimes the trauma keeps us up at night. Sometimes it leads us to NA meetings, or couples therapy, or an extra session of our weekly therapy. Plenty of times it has led to cuddle puddles, much like this one. The first time Eloise was old enough to knock on our door and ask to sleep with us, she laid her head on Spencer's pillow and tucked her tiny body into his chest. I never mentioned it to him but I saw that when he closed his eyes, he shed tears. I watched as he wrapped his arms around her and adjusted her favorite stuffed bear so it wouldn't fall out of her arms as she slept. The trauma sometimes led us to standing in the doorway of bedroom doors, watching the kids sleep and receiving that piece of mind that everything is okay and our loves are okay.
At this moment, I can see my teary husband clutching our two-year-old. I can see him holding our daughters in his lap while he introduced them to their new brother. I see the man who spent our entire first dance as husband and wife whispering about how he didn't want to step on my foot. I see the man who eradicated his fear of germs through changing diapers and cleaning vomit. I see the man who kisses me no less than a million times per day. I see my whole life laying in a king-sized bed, dressed in Disney pajamas with drooping eyelids. I see the people who make it bearable to get out of bed every morning and I see the reason I didn't give up on living at thirty years old. I find the people who have saved my life, whether they realize it or not.
I settle into bed, settling Posie right on my chest while Eloise is curled up against Spencer. I press a long kiss to Spencer's cheek, nudging my nose against his. "What's the special knowledge, dove?"
"Alright, so," Spencer pulls the duvet up to Eloise's chin so she stays warm, "Grandma Diana taught me this when I was as little as you, P."
She gasps. "You were as little as me?"
A smile breaks onto my husband's face. "I was! And Mommy was too. And so was Grandma Diana." Posie drops her head onto my chest and fiddles with the strings on my hoodie. Poe jumps up on the bed and nestles himself between pillows, one of Eloise's hands tangled in his soft fur. Spencer smiles at me, brushing back curls on Ellie's forehead. "What Grandma Diana taught me when I was as little as Posie is that there are giants in the sky! And those loud noises you hear when it rains are bowling games!"
"Bowling? Really? Aunt Emily took us bowling!" Posie exclaims. She is curled up against me, her head dropping from my chest to the top of my growing baby bump. She smiles up at me, her eyelids fluttering and her cheeks pink. There is another flash of lightning and she barely even flinches at the clap of thunder.
"Yeah!" Spencer exclaims. He brushes his hand up and down Eloise's arm, soothing her nearly to sleep. "The giants play bowling in the sky and every time they get a strike, it makes a bright light!"
"Whoa, Daddy," Eloise breathes out and looks up at her dad with wonder, "that's the coolest thing ever."
"I wanna play bowling with the giants in the sky," Posie mumbles. She starts to brush her little hands up and down my arms, tracing the outline of my tattoos. She always claims she likes how soft my tattoos have made my skin. "Can we go bowling?"
Spencer's eyes flutter shut as he reaches over to give his hand to our fussy baby boy. "Sure. We can go tomorrow after work and school. And after homework."
"Can Aunt Penny and Uncle Luke come? And Aunt Emily? And Aunt Jen?"
"We can ask them too. Sure."
"Mommy?" Posie wonders as she looks up at me. Her brown eyes are sparkling at me and she flinches as another crack of thunder shakes the house.
"Yes, my love?"
"When are my drawings gonna show up?" She presses her finger onto the strawberry permanently etched into my skin, somewhat faded from years of neglecting touchups. "Because I like yours and I want mine to show up soon." She pouts so adorably and looks up at me with utter confusion.
Spencer snickers beside me, kissing Posie's curls. "P, the drawings don't just show up. They're tattoos. Mommy went to a tattoo shop and got them done. They don't just show up."
Posie's pout intensifies and her eyes seem to fill up with tears. "But– but–" she stammers, sniffling, "Daddy, you have one too!"
"I know, angel baby, I do," Spencer gives me an exasperated, tired look as he kisses her curls one more time. Eloise wraps her hand around Spencer's wrist and brings it up to her face. "But you can't get a tattoo for a very long time."
"This," Eloise presses her finger into the tattoo on his hand, "looks like a compass rose. Miss Anderson taught us all about these when we learned how to read maps. And the N means north on a compass rose!"
"Mommy has one too, Ellie!" Posie grabs my wrist and holds up my hand, moving it on top of Spencer's to match up our tattoos. "Why do you have the same drawing? Is it like how you both wear rings every day?'
"You are such a smart, observant little girl," Spener smiles at me, his words directed to our daughter but his eyes locked on me. "It kinda is, love."
"Will you tell us what it means?" Eloise begs. "Please? Please!
"Alright, alright," Spencer shushes them, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Beckett is still asleep, "this can be your bedtime story because it's getting late and you need to go to sleep. Alright, so," his eyes stray up to the ceiling, wondering exactly how to tell this story. The kids are obviously way too young for us to explain any of what the two of us have been through, and too young for us to tell them the real story of why we have these matching tattoos, so I stay silent. I let Spencer decide exactly how he wants to breach this topic. "There was one time in my life where I was very sad, right?"
The girls' eyes are wide as they pay close attention. They nod along with his words. Our little bub starts kicking against my ribs, perhaps sensing my apprehension and nervousness. Spencer can see my slight change in expression and smooths his hand over the curve of my tummy.
"I went to these...meetings. And they were supposed to make me less sad, and they did. At these meetings, they told us to pick someone or something that we love. This person would be considered north, like the N on mine and Mommy's tattoos. And north is supposed to be the reason you wanna be... happy. And that person is supposed to be your reason to stay happy."
A huge smile breaks onto Eloise's face. "So did you choose Mommy to be your north? Is that why you have the matching tattoo?"
"I did," he smirks. "Mommy was what kept me happy, and she still does."
"What about us?" Posie speaks up excitedly, far too excitedly for the time of night it is.
Spencer practically rips Posie from my arms and attacks her with kisses, making her giggles fill the room. Eloise cuddles up to my side now, her hand on my bump where Spencer's was. "Of course you do! You," he presses his finger to Eloise's nose and she giggles, "and you," he does the same to Posie's nose, "and Beckett too. And the new baby in Mommy's tummy."
"And Poe?" Posie asks, eyeing the puppy at the foot of the bed.
"Yes, Poe too," Spencer chuckles. Posie cuddles herself into Spencer's side and digs her little hands into the fabric of his blue tee-shirt. "You all make me so, so, so happy. Forever and always."
Eloise looks up at me with her blue eyes matching mine. "And you too, Mommy?"
"Yes, angel. You make me so, so, so, so happy. Forever and always."
Posie laughs softly, so tired that she can't even keep her eyes open anymore. "Daddy, I like being your north."
I smile at my husband as he kisses our daughter goodnight, holding her close. She presses her ear to his chest, listening for his heartbeat the way she has seen me do so many times. When he looks back up at me, he's already smiling back.
"I'm so proud of you," I whisper, trying desperately not to wake the kids again. "I love you so much."
"Thank you, Lia," he breathes. "I was being honest though. I've never been happier in my life. You all make me so happy."
I bring my hand to his cheek, brushing my thumb against his soft, warm skin. "Get some sleep. I'm sure you're tired. It was a long day."
His eyelids flutter closed and he cuddles into the pillows. "Tea and coffee tomorrow morning?"
"Tea and coffee tomorrow, dove."