Dedicated to _korejin
Have I dedicated this chapter to you? I forgot + u changed your username so idk 😭 but I hope u still read this story though heheh
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I'm currently writing my thesis, wish me luck guys!
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3 months later
Inside the house in the morning
Sakusa: *about to leave*
Sakusa: *pauses*
Sakusa: *touch Atsumu's forehead*
Atsumu: I don't have a fever, Omi-kun . . .
Sakusa: But you've been getting them lately... And your breathing's not much better too . . .
Atsumu: I feel fine... Just go! *pushes Sakusa to go to work*
Sakusa: You sure you wanna work later? I could come home earlier and accompany you there . . .
Atsumu: And give you extra work on your weekends? Absolutely not... We got a date this week, remember? Just go to work already, you'll be late! *pushes Sakusa out of the door*
Sakusa: Don't you dare have a match with your students! Keep your movements to the minimum!!
Atsumu: *rolls his eyes* Alrighttt, I know!!
•••••
Around 5 pm
In Sakusa's office
Sakusa: *typing* *typing*
Phone: *rings*
"Unknown number"
Sakusa: *frowns*
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Sakusa: *picks it up*
Voice: H-hello... Is this Sakusa-san?? Atsumu-sensei... He told us to call this number if anything happens to him . . . He.....
The more he talks, the more Sakusa's eyes widen.
He immediately ditches his work and sprints towards his car.
•••••
12 minutes later
Sakusa: *reaches the hospital receptionist* Miya Atsumu, where is he, right now?!?!
After getting the answer, the raven-haired boy wastes no time to reach one of the VIP rooms and opens the door.
His lover, lying on the bed with a bunch of tubes attached on his body and a CPAP attached on his face to help him breathe.
CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure)
Sakusa: Atsumu . . . ! *breathes heavily* *panic in his eyes*
Atsumu: . . . *slowly opens his eyes and looks sideways*
Sakusa: *gets closer and calls out his lovers name again, this time with more worry than panic* Atsumu...
The blond-haired boy who struggles to breathe stably is aware of his lover's presence but can't utter a word from his mouth, so he moves his hand up to try and grab Sakusa's hand instead.
Instinctively, Sakusa grabs Atsumu's hand first and looks at his eyes.
Only then he's fully aware that there's another person in the room that guarded Atsumu before him.
Sakusa: Coach Kurosu... How is he . . . ?
Coach Kurosu: He's... stable for now . . . But his lungs' condition is deteriorating... I'm not really sure but the doctor said that he would explain further to his family member . . . He'd be here any minute... I've called him . . . I'll leave him to you now...
Sakusa: *still a bit disoriented but managed to thank the coach*
Sakusa: *lowers his head until he leaves the room*
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Sakusa: I . . . I should've accompanied you today... No, I should've not let you work today in the first place...
Atsumu: *holds Sakusa's hand tighter* *trying to let him know that it's not his fault*
Sakusa: *sets his gaze back to Atsumu*
Atsumu: *shakes his head weakly*
Sakusa: *exhales in understanding* I'm sorry . . .
Not long after that, the doctor comes in to let him know that Atsumu suffers from COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), which is a chronic inflammatory lung disease that causes obstructed airflow from the lungs.
He offers several treatments and suggests for Atsumu to be treated in the hospital for an indefinite amount of time, at least until his condition is stable enough to survive without intensive care.
•••••
2 months later
Atsumu's condition doesn't get better, in fact, it gets worse.
Breathing is excruciating and naturally everything else.
Surviving each day is miracle and hell at the same time.
At some point where it hurt so much, tears started flowing from Atsumu's eyes while he stared beggingly at Sakusa's face.
It was barely a whisper but Sakusa could make out what his lover was saying through the shape of his mouth.
"Make... the pain... go... away..."
"Make... the pain... go... away..."
Those words kept coming out of Atsumu's mouth between his short breaths...
over...
and over...
and over......
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In all genuineness, there must have been many times where Atsumu even wished for death.
But he didn't dare to say it in concern of Sakusa.
Perhaps, he hid it in those few words that he managed to form in the middle of his extreme agony.
•••••
Sakusa: It's been two months and he's not getting any better, what else could you do?!?! Tell me!! I'll do anything!!! Anything!!!
Doctor: I understand your desperation Mr. Sakusa but there's really nothing else we could do... We're trying all we can here and we're trying to the best of our abilities... The rest you could do is pray...
Feeling unsatisfied with the answer, Sakusa proposes an idea of his own.
Sakusa: What if I take him overseas... Will there be a better treatment??? Do they have more advanced technologies???
Doctor: I'm afraid... No . . . Atsumu-san's disease has progressed to emphysema, which is the last stage of COPD. Unfortunately, no one in the world has found it's cure... We can only slow down it's progress . . .
Sakusa: *grits his teeth in unsatisfactory* What about... What about lung transplant?!?! *smashes table* I read about it... It could help him... right???
Doctor: *clouds of concern engulf his face* Umm, yes... But... It's really hard to find a donor . . . Even for a normal lung transplant candidate, it could be months or even years before he can actually get a donor... There are hundreds of other people who needs the same thing and . . .
Sakusa: And...???
Doctor: That's not even the biggest issue . . . There are several criteria to select a lung transplant candidate and... one of the biggest reasons someone is precluded from it is... noncurable chronic extrapulmonary infection, including HBV, HCV, and HIV...
Sakusa: . . . What...? *frowns*
Sakusa: What do you mean...? How is that possible...? How could that be?!?! *breathing gets heavier* What kind of rule is that?!?! Who made that rule?!?! *his voice now wrapped in anger*
Doctor: . . . I'm sorry... We'll try our best with what we can now . . .
Sakusa: . . . *holding back his tear from anger*
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Sakusa: *still in denial*
Sakusa: What if . . .
Sakusa: What if I donate it . . . ? What if I become the donor . . . ?
Sakusa: *smashes table again* I heard living people could also become a lung donor!! He... He only needs a portion of it, right??
Sakusa: You can take mine!!! In fact, take it whole!!! Much like kidneys... Humans can survive with only one lung, right??! Right?!?!
Doctor: Yes, but-
Sakusa: Just take it!!! Do anything, please!!! I don't care what happens to me, just please... Please save him . . . I can't... I can't hear anymore of his whimpers . . . I can't.....
Doctor: . . . Even if I want to... There's no guarantee that your lungs would be a match to Mr. Atsumu's lungs... Judging from your record . . . Even your kidneys don't even reach 25% compatibility... Lungs are even a more complicated matter . . . There's a huge possibility that the result would be even lower than that...
Sakusa: . . . *lowers his head*
Doctor: I'm afraid that there's no other option than to continue with the treatment that we have right now . . .
Sakusa: . . .
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In the middle of desperation, an idea suddenly pops into his mind . . . a not very good one.
Sakusa: *bites his teeth* *face suddenly becomes dark*
Sakusa: What about..... Osamu?
Doctor: *realizes what Sakusa's thinking and goes into deep thought* . . . I understand where you're coming from... His lungs would probably have the best compatibility with Mr. Atsumu... However... I'm afraid that's also not possible . . . He's donated too much for the past several years... First his kidney... Then a portion of his liver 3 years ago... If he has to donor a part of his lung too . . . I'm afraid his body wouldn't be able to take it... It could even be life threatening . . . The hospital wouldn't allow it...
Sakusa: . . .
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you need to find another donor . . . within this month...
Sakusa: *gasps and lifts his head*
Doctor: Longer than that... Mr. Atsumu's chance of survival is very little . . .
Sakusa: . . .
•••••
After that, Sakusa offers a huge price all over the country and even abroad towards anyone would want to be tested to become Atsumu's donor.
However, due to Atsumu's O- blood type, only people with the same blood type could have a chance at being a good match to Atsumu. Furthermore, much like Sakusa, people with the same blood type doesn't even guarantee their compatibility.
In the end, it was still hard to find a good donor for Atsumu, especially in the very short time.
Even with the big price, very few people signed up for it.
The best compatibility they could get was 55% from one of Atsumu's students at school.
•••••
In Osamu and Suna's house
The couple and Sakusa are having a meeting at the end of the month.
Osamu: 55%?? 55%?!?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!
Sakusa: *clenches his hands*
Suna: *anxious* Osamu, calm down...
Osamu: From a kid no less?!?!? No... No, I can't accept this.... I can't accept this!!! *stands up in protest*
Suna: *pulls Osamu's back to the sofa* This is the best choice we have!!! There are no other options!!
Osamu: *pulls his hand from Suna* No!!! There is.... ME!! Don't you see?!?! I'm the best choice you have!!!
Suna: No, you're not an option!! The doctor even said that!!!
Osamu: No, the doctor said that it could be life-threatening but the chance of survival is actually 50%!!! Plus we have the best doctor in all Japan... I'll be fine!!
Suna: No, you're ignoring the fact that the other 50% chance is for you to DIE!!! Don't you understand?!?! It's death, Osamu, deathh!!!
Osamu: I get it... Rin . . . But it's futile if the surgery doesn't work for the long-term!! If it only has 55% compatibility, what guarantees that Atsumu wouldn't need another donor in a month or two?!?! It would all be such a waste of time... and that child's future!!
Suna: *still gives Osamu a look of resistance*
Osamu: I have 94.4% compatibility with Atsumu's lungs! That's basically a foolproof strategy, the surgery won't fail, just like the other two surgeries before that!! With 50% chance... If I could just survive it, Atsumu would have years to live!!
Suna: And what about your future?? Even if you could survive, what guarantees that you could still live your life the same way?!?! What guarantees that nothing would happen to you?!?! What if you got complications in your own lungs....Huh?!?! Who would supply that?!?!
Osamu: *sees the truth in Suna's words but still persistent in his own opinion* I know the risks . . . but-
Suna: You've given two organs to him!! Two!!! Don't you remember how hard it was for you to recover after you gave him part of your liver?!?! It took you 4 months just to get back to stand with your own two feet!!! It took you even longer to get back to work!!! Who knows what would happen to you if you do this for the third time?!?! If you even could make a full recovery at all...?!?!
Osamu: I know, Rin . . . I know... But there's a bigger chance that Atsumu's body would reject the donor if it only has 55% compatibility... I can't let that happen, Rin... I can't let his surgery fail, he's my family!!
Suna: Am I not your family too?!?!
Osamu: *dumbfounded* *sees the hurt look in his husband's eyes* That's- . . . That's not what I mean... He's my twin brother, it's my responsibility to save him!
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Suna: He might be your responsibility but you're MY responsibility!!! Don't you see?!?! I can't let anything happen to you too!!!
Osamu: *lowers his head in agony* Rin... Please . . . I can't just sit back and do nothing while knowing that I have the chance to save him...
Suna: *rage fills his eyes* Can't you just think for your own self for once?!?! Why does it always have to be you?!?! You've done more than enough!! Let somebody else do it . . . You're not the only one that can save him!!
Osamu: No...... It has to be me... Deep down you know it too . . .
Suna: *shakes his head and hesitates*
Sakusa: Suna . . . I know I have no right to ask you this... You can call me whatever you want . . . But, please... I can't keep seeing Atsumu in this state... I can't keep listening to him in pain... I . . . I can't risk the surgery to fail..... *trembles* *trembles*
A glimpse of pity passes through Suna's eyes.
Then, something completely unexpected happened.
Sakusa: *literally kneels in front of Suna and holds his feet* Please . . . Please, let Osamu do it . . .
Suna and Osamu: *stunned*
Sakusa: I'll do anything... anything at all . . . Just please... Please, don't let me lose him... *tries to tighten his grip with his trembling hands*
Suna watches the situation in front of him unfold with pained eyes.
Sakusa: Please, let Osamu be the donor.....
The more words come out of Sakusa's mouth, the more hurt is visible in Suna's expression.
The professional volleyball player and co-owner of Onigiri Miya clenches his fists and averts his face.
Suna: Stop it . . .
Osamu: *gets up and gets behind Sakusa, trying to lift him up* Sakusa . . . You don't need to do this, just get up...
Sakusa: *refuses and stands his ground, or more literally kneels his ground*
Sakusa: I beg you . . . He's the only one I have..... My only real family . . . The only one I love..... *tears start falling from his eyes* I beg you... Please, save him . . .
There he is, former number one highschool wing spiker in Japan, ace of Itachiyama and MSBY, country highschool and university volleyball champion, son of a CEO of a major business, successful manager in a renowned company, the mighty Sakusa Kiyoomi who despises human contact and never asks help from anyone . . . kneeling and begging in front of Suna's feet.
Sakusa: *lowers his head even more* I beg you . . .
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Suna: *still averting his face from Sakusa*
Sakusa: I'll do anything . . . Please
Suna: *pained expression* *pulls his feet off Sakusa's grip*
Suna: *gets up and storms off the room*
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Osamu: Rin...? Rin!! *anxious and panic as he watches Suna gets out of the door*
Osamu: *looks down and contemplates everything that just happened for a moment*
Osamu: *gazes at the lifeless and defeated Sakusa, still kneeling on the floor*
Osamu: *looks down and tries to process everything once more*
•••••
Some minutes later, at the park near the water fountain.
Suna: *gazes at the fountain with eyes full of rage*
Osamu: *shows up beside him* *guilt radiates from his face*
Osamu: Rin . . .
Suna: . . . *looks the other way*
Osamu: . . . *sadness' visible from his eyes*
Osamu: *walks closer* *kneels but doesn't bow like Sakusa did*
Suna: *mouth closed tightly* *tries to hold back his tears and rage at the same time*
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Osamu: *grabs Suna's hand gently* Rin . . . Please
Suna: *rage boils to his brain* *can't hold it back anymore*
Suna: *finally turns his head and faces Osamu* If I say no, I'd be the selfish one, wouldn't I?
Osamu: . . . *a little shock comes into his expression*
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Suna: *tears at the edge of his eyes* Do you even have any idea what you're asking for???
Osamu: . . . *starts feeling hurt in his heart from seeing his lover in such pain*
Suna: *rage spills over him* *shakes Osamu's shoulders* Do you?!?!?!
Osamu: . . . *fixes his gaze on Suna's eyes but doesn't dare to answer his question*
Suna: You're asking me to choose between my best friend and my husband!!!!
Suna: *shakes Osamu's shoulders even harder* How could you do that to me?!?!?! *tears start flowing out of his eyes*
Water starts forming in Osamu's eyes too as he feels Suna's pain.
Suna: How could you expect me to choose?!?!?! *shakes Osamu's shoulders again* *lowers his head and cries*
Suna: He's my best friend too . . .
•
A single tear drops from Osamu's eyes.
Osamu: *holds Suna's shoulder back*
Osamu: Rin . . . Look at me...
Suna: *lifts up his head* *breathes shortly* *face still messy from crying*
Osamu: I'll be fine . . .
Osamu: *touches Suna's cheeks and wipes his tears with his thumbs* I'll come back to you . . . I promise...
Suna: *mouth starts contorting into a crying form again*
Osamu: *looks deep into Suna's eyes* I promise . . .
Suna: *shakes his head* *removes one of Osamu's hands from his face* No . . . Please, don't make me choose... Please, just choose the other option... You don't have to do this!! *rage comes out of his voice* You don't have to donate your organ everytime Atsumu needs it, you're not his organ backup supplier!!!
Osamu: . . .
Osamu: I'm not . . . But I'm his brother... *looks down with pained expression* If I don't do this and he dies . . . If I don't do this while I had the chance . . .
Osamu: It'd be like I'm killing him with my own hands . . .
Suna: *grits his teeth and grabs his husband's shirt* If you die, it'd be like I'm the one who kills you!!!!
Osamu: *grits his own teeth as tears start streaming down his cheeks*
Suna: Don't you understand?!?! *desperate* *still grabbing his shirt* *hands start shaking*
Suna: Please, don't make me choose . . . .
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Suna: Cause I'd always choose you.....
Suna: *tears come out of his eyes again* and I don't care if I'm selfish but I can't lose you . . . *voice breaking* I can't.... I just can't . . . .
Osamu: *hugs Suna*
Suna: *buries his head on Osamu's chest as he cries his eyes out*
Osamu: You're not selfish . . . You're not selfish . . . I'd choose you too
Suna: *still crying*
Osamu: *keeps hugging Suna*
Osamu: I'd choose you too . . .
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Osamu: But . . . Just for this once, can I be the selfish one?
Suna: . . . *stops his crying and looks up to Osamu's face*
Osamu: I won't ask anything from you again . . .
Suna: . . .
Osamu: Please...? Just this once . . .
Suna: . . .
Osamu: Let me do it.....
Suna: . . .
Osamu: *touches Suna's right cheek* I'll come back to you... I promise . . .
Suna: . . .
Osamu: I'll find my way back to you . . .
Suna: . . . *lowers his head*
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Suna: If you lie to me, I'd come find you in the afterlife and smack you myself!
Osamu: *chuckles* Deal . . . *kisses Suna's mouth*
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Osamu: *in between kisses* But don't come up there too quick . . . I won't look forward to your punishment...
Suna: You only get one promise from me . . . I won't make another one . . .
Osamu: *stops kissing and pouts*
Suna: Be sure not to die then! *kisses Osamu again*
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